Originally created as a recap blog for my friends too busy to watch t.v., I've branched out to movies, books, food, life in general. No politics tho', don't worry.
Oh wow, you guys: Mr. Mouse and I went out to see a movie together. Like, in the movie theater. This is the first movie Mr. Mouse has seen in a theater since we moved to Utah ... 9+ years ago. We went to see the Alex Honnold documentary, Free Solo - and before I say anything about that film, let me just digress about the movie theater. It was playing in IMAX at the Larry H. Miller Megaplex in Sandy (not my usual movie theater) and it was like going to Las Vegas to see a movie. There were twenty different screens and the whole place was like walking through the Vegas version of a town. I can't imagine being there on a Friday or Saturday night when it is thronging with people.
Also: IMAX previews are played way, way, way too loud.
Ahem. Now that I've gotten my old person reactions to modern movie-going out of the way, Free Solo was great. The movie chronicles rock climber Alex Honnold's quest to be the first (and quite possibly only) person to free-solo El Capitan - 3,000 feet, without a rope - in Yosemite National Park, which is about the most insane thing a climber has ever done. The filmmakers are also friends with Alex, so the fourth wall gets broken as they fear for his life in the midst of filming him. This makes for a very personal film and even though SPOILER he doesn't fall off the face of the cliff and die, it's intense.
It's been AGES since I put a food post up so, in an attempt to assuage the prevailing mood with chocolate, here's a new brownie recipe. Mr. Mouse and I are attempting to eat a plant-based diet these days which, to us, means not only no animal products but also no oils. A lot of vegan recipes add fats via oils so I have adapted a "Chewy Vegan Chocolate Chocolate Chip Cookie" recipe from www.food.com as follows:
CHEWY VEGAN CHOCOLATE CHIP BROWNIES
¾ cup unsweetened applesauce*
2 cups sugar
2 tsp vanilla
1 Tbsp plus 1 tsp ground
flax seed**
½ cup almond milk (or soymilk)
2 cups flour
¾ cup cocoa powder
1 tsp baking soda
½ tsp salt
1 ½ cups semisweet vegan chocolate
chips***
Preheat oven to 350◦F. Add
ground flax seeds to almond milk and stir for about 30 seconds, set
aside. In a large bowl, sift together cocoa, flour, baking soda and
salt. Cream sugar and applesauce in another large bowl. Add the
flax seed/almond milk mixture and mix well. Stir in vanilla. Slowly
mix in dry ingredients. Mix in chocolate chips. Pour brownie mixture into
lightly greased**** 9x13 baking pan and bake for 25-30 minutes or until knife
inserted comes out clean.
Note: the original recipe was for cookies but I found the
dough too wet to roll into balls and went the brownie route instead. They
came out very moist and fudgy.
* This is a
substitution for ¾ cup canola oil. The applesauce worked GREAT.
** I found
pre-ground flax seed in the health food section of my regular grocery store; you can also find
whole flax seeds and grind them yourself. Flax seed is somehow an egg
substitution in vegan baking.
*** I found
non-dairy/non-gluten dark chocolate chips in the health food section and just used a whole bag. They were actually tasty on their own – not
like yucky carob.
Things do fall off around here when I don't have a regular recapping gig, don't they? Plus schedules tend to get out of whack around the holidays and everyone is flitting about, hither and thither. Mr. Mouse and I haven't done too much hither and thither-ing, luckily, and our holiday plans are contentedly at-home. We just finished watching the second season of Fargo, which is the one of the few scripted shows we watch together (Better Call Saul will be the next, when it returns in February). If you haven't been watching Fargo (or Better Call Saul, or Justified, for that matter), you really should. This second season had a much higher body count than the also-excellent S1; it was also funnier and just full to bursting with a talented cast.
I also recently watched Jessica Jones which I absolutely loved. I had thought to say something profound about it, but sites like the A.V. Club andThe Mary Sue are full of well-written recaps and articles; just google it and you'll find oceans of discussion. It isn't easy to watch with its discussion of sexual, emotional and psychological abuse, but it is an important discussion. Krysten Ritter is phenomenal in the title role, ably portraying the complex, damaged Jessica. If the only thing you've seen David Tennant in is Doctor Who, you're in for a shock: he is charming, yes, but also terrifying as the sociopathic, abusive victim. The rest of the cast is really good too and it's refreshing to have most of the major players be women.
In stark (pun intended) contrast to Marvel's strong, grounded Netflix offerings is Marvel's Avengers: Age of Ultron. I watched it last night and, as much as I love Joss Whedon's work, this one left me underwhelmed. And exhausted, frankly, from all the CGI battles. After watching the more realistic fights and stuntwork in both Jessica Jones and Daredevil, the AoU CGI just left me cold. I appreciated the small character moments and humor - Natasha and Bruce; Hawkeye getting some actual lines; everyone giving Captain America a hard time for being an old fogy - but it all just seemed overstuffed and a bit frantic. I will say that James Spader knocked it out of the park with his Ultron voice work.
What's next around here? I'm watching S2 of Sherlock and also the Tenth Doctor on Doctor Who, and next up in my DVD queue is the remainder of S4 of Game of Thrones (so far behind!). I just finished S2 of Penny Dreadful which I ADORE and am anxious to continue on with S3. There's always something - and I'm always up for suggestions.
Mr. Mouse and I don't watch a lot of the same stuff. We have agreed upon Breaking Bad, Deadwood, Justified and Cougar Town, but he would rather have a tooth pulled than watch the genre stuff that I love, and just last week I was horrified to catch him watching a History Channel show on grease. Not Grease, the classic Olivia Newton-John/John Travolta musical, but grease, the stuff you slop onto moving parts so they don't get stuck. Seriously, for that I have no words. We do tend to like the same sort of televised sports (except that he does like motorized vehicles rushing around on tracks and I don't at all): soccer, Olympics both winter and summer (but not gymnastics or figure skating), skiing, American Ninja Warrior, triathlons, curling, etc. In the last couple of years, we've really stepped up our soccer consumption: Salt Lake City has its own team, Real Salt Lake (who are doing terribly right now, btw); plus the men's and women's World Cup; plus the British Premier League. We even have our own BPL teams to root for. He's for Arsenal and I like Swansea, the only remaining Welsh team.
While watching the most recent men's World Cup, we were introduced to Michael Davies and Roger Bennett, also known as Men In Blazers, and then once the World Cup was over, we kept watching their television recap show on the BPL. Some people find their shtick tiresome but we think it's just the right amount of bonkers. (Mr. Mouse does miss a lot of their Harry Potter, Game of Thrones, LotR, and other references; I explain where necessary.) When we learned that the Esquire channel had hired them to cover the annual running of the bulls in Pamplona, Spain, we knew we'd watch, despite not really having much foreknowledge of or interest in the event.
We've learned a lot, actually, because Rog and Davo do a good job of adding historical and cultural context, including lots of interviews with notable Spanish and American bull-runners, Pamplonan restauranteurs and local figures, all in between calling play-by-plays of the action and being dutifully horrified at the gorings. For the record, they seem to be on the bulls' side more often than not, especially when the runners display above average idiocy. One thing they've been doing with each episode is featuring a local beverage or food. One that piqued our interest was kalimotxo, a half and half mixture of red wine and regular Coca-Cola. It's a recently developed beverage, starting in the Basque region of Spain, and the revelers at the Sanfermines festival and encierro, a/k/a the running of the bulls in Pamplona, drink it by the liters.
We tried it (good grief, when was the last time I ever drank Coke that wasn't diet?) and ... amazingly, it isn't that bad, with a sangria sort of feel to it. Even the New York Times is on board. I'm not sure we'll drink enough of it to kill that two liter of regular Coke I bought, but it was certainly quaffable. (Next up? The Basque combination of chocolate milk and cognac ...)
We watch too much television. There’s no question about
that: Justified (both of us), Modern
Family (both), American Horror Story (FM), Go
On (both), Cougar Town (both), New
Girl (both), Parks & Rec (both), The
Office (Mr. Mouse), Jeopardy (both),
Louie (both), Wilfred (both),
Breaking Bad (both), Restaurant
Impossible (both), Top Gear (Mr. Mouse),
Arrow (FM), Lost Girl (FM),
Fashion Police (FM), The Biggest Loser
(both), The Soup (FM), The Americans
(FM), The Following (FM), The Walking
Dead (FM), Hawaii 5-0 (both - although I mostly
just yell at the TV about how bad the writing is), KSL
Outdoors (both), miscellaneous sporting events like skiing, Tour de
France, etc., but not the NBA/NFL/MLB (both).
But here’s the
thing. It’s not like watching television is ALL we do. We both
work. We both work out after work 4-5 times a week. We eat out at
most once a week so we always make dinner – not fast food – at home. We
walk the dog. We make beer and wine. I grow a few summertime
vegetables in the backyard. We always have at least one book each going
at all times; I read daily. 99% of our weekends include time spent
skiing, hiking, mountain-biking, road-biking, fishing or camping. Could
we accomplish more if we didn’t watch so much TV? Of course: the house
would be cleaner, the laundry wouldn’t stack up so much, the weeds wouldn’t
dare poke their heads out of the flower beds ... but I feel like our lives are
pretty full, active and connected as they are. So, yes, in the evenings,
after the busy day’s activities have wound down, Mr. Mouse, the dog and I
cuddle up and watch television together. And I’m okay with that.
Okay, if I do this movie series again next October, all y'all have to give me some movie suggestions because I'm not doing a very good job of picking them out myself. The latest less than stellar offering? Open Water, a tepid hybrid of when-animals-sort-of-attack and man-at-the-mercy-of-the-elements, based-on-a-true-story film about a couple who are inadvertently left behind on a diving trip in shark-infested waters. Spoilers ahead, mateys!
The pluses: independent, low-budget movie, shot realistically (on video?) with natural light and no CGI, real sharks, actors actually bobbing about in the ocean and not in a shark cage or indoor tanks.
The rest of it: the actors, unknowns, are pretty bad, although in their defense they weren't given much to work with. When Daniel and Susan resurface and find the tour boat missing, they take it too calmly - it isn't realistic. I think there would be some immediate panic, then subsiding to calm/shock. Their physical condition didn't deteriorate as the hours passed: even though they were in tropical waters, hypothermia will set in after prolonged exposure, not to mention dehydration and salt sores. Once Daniel was bitten by the shark, I don't think the other sharks would have left him alone to bleed out overnight - I think they would have gone after him, and Susan too, what with all the blood floating about. And I found Susan's death unsatisfying: I can see how she would just give up but she was wearing a wetsuit and would have been far too buoyant to slip beneath the surface to drown, especially since she'd dropped her dive weights.
The whole thing was just unsatisfying. I've read reviews saying that people expecting Jaws will be disappointed, that Open Water is more about fear and dread and hopelessness. Which would have been fine if any of that had been conveyed by the actors. Instead, this mercifully brief movie is boring, basically amounting to watching two unlikable characters tread water for 81 minutes. Ugh.
P.S. I did manage to get Mr. Mouse to watch it with me and he gets points for calling: (1) no survivors, (2) Daniel dying first; and (3) the camera being found.
That's it for Max Headroom, I guess. Blockbuster.com sent me one more disk, but all that had was extras (long-winded British people talking and talking and talking), so the series ends with "Baby Grobags." In truth, I was getting a little tired of the show, especially once they pushed ol' Max to the periphery but now that I know I can't have any more, I want more.
Mr. Mouse has control of the remote tonight, watching some exceedingly boring biography of Robert E. Lee or a documentary on dry erase boards or something (I can't be bothered to pay any attention to non-fiction). But two new Blockbuster DVDs were delivered today: another Spartacus (!!!!!) and Get Him to the Greek, so stay tuned.
So this is what we've seen so far, new season of television-wise. Note: this post will not include anything about the season premieres of The Office or Community because we had houseguests arrive on Thursday, thus curtailing the television viewing somewhat. And by "somewhat" I mean "in its entirety."
How I Met Your Mother - It's too bad that Ted is the purported focus of this show because he is far and away my (and Mr. Mouse's) least favorite character. We like Barney. We'd like HIMYM to be pretty much all Barney, all the time. Also: gratuitous lesbian ratings kiss with Rachel Bilson. She's not the mother, btw.
House - SPOILER House and Cuddy are making a go of it. And while this premiere episode was quite funny in spots, and fun to see House acting human/happy for a bit, I really feel this show is at its best when it sticks to the formula: in the hospital, solving cases, not getting bogged down in the characters' relationships outside of the hospital. I worry that the new Huddy relationship will muck things up. Made me giggle: Chase asking Thirteen to have sex.
Hawaii Five-0 - Plus: James Marsters as the bad guy! Minus: not giving James Marsters anything to do as the bad guy! Scott Caan is great as Danno: very funny and with good timing; Daniel Dae Kim was solid with what he was given (not much). Grace Park was hardly given anything to do at all, except stand around in a bikini/take her clothes off, and I hope her role will be expanded because I really like her. The weak link here is the lead, Alex O'Loughlin. Both Mr. Mouse and I were entirely unimpressed with him - and Mr. Mouse didn't even have the Moonlight residue tainting his opinion. Still, we're not giving up on this one ... yet.
The Event - Mr. Mouse did not watch this one, just me. I'm vaguely sucked in (much like I was with V and FlashForward) but am not as blown away as I was with Lost. There's lots of jumping around, back and forth through time, and the fact that they had to caption the people's names and the time-frame makes me a little leery. And fer chrissakes would someone give Jason Ritter a razor? He is NOT pulling off that scruffy almost-mustache thing in any sort of good way. I'm still going to watch this - for now. But I'm not completely convinced.
The Biggest Loser - Yes, we watch this. It's the only "reality" show we watch - aside from Mr. Mouse's "History of Dirt" etc. on Modern Marvels - so give us a break. This season: really fat people cry and go to the ranch where Bob and Jillian will make them cry some more. It appears that this season has lots of drama: dead mothers, dead brothers, abused daughters, etc., etc. I like the workouts and the competitions and challenges and weigh-ins. I hate the tears and drama and forced finding of oneselves.
Glee - I've got a DVR-scheduling conflict on Tuesday nights: The Biggest Loser, Glee and No Ordinary Family (starting next week) all at the same time. Unfortunately for NOF, I really enjoyed watching Glee on the t.v., as opposed to the computer which is where I'd watched all of the first season. Typical over-the-top fabulousness, as expected, although I thought they went a little far with Rachel's nastiness to that AMAZING little exchange student. Also, is the new football coach Whatshername from friggin' Porky's?
Modern Family - We love this show - Mr. Mouse laughs out loud a lot during each episode. I only wish that we'd started watching it from the beginning of its first season.
Terriers - is already RIP in our DVR after the first episode. I hope that turns out to be a mistake, that we'll end up missing a great show, but it just didn't click for us despite having better writing/acting than that Hawaii Five-0.
Mr. Mouse always complains that the only movies in my Blockbuster.com queue are ones I want to see. Hot Tub Time Machine is a perfect example of why that is: he requested it and neither of us ended up liking it very much. When it's one of "my" movies, it's a pretty fair bet that at least one of us will enjoy it.
Plot synopsis: John Cusack (looking old, haggard and with a blotchy spray tan), Craig Robinson ("Darryl" from The Office, looking fat), Clark Duke (playing a slightly less nerdy version of his GREEK character) and Rob Corddry end up transported back to the 1980s via the title macguffin so that they can do something about how lame their 2010 lives have become. Hilarity (not) ensues.
Rated R for the occasional nekkid boobs and the plethora of f-bombs, this is just not a very funny movie. Mr. Mouse noted that none of the four leads were at all sympathetic and they hardly played the '80s pop culture, fashion and music for laughs at all. Plus at 100 minutes it was longer than it needed to be. The best part about Hot Tub Time Machine is the soundtrack, every song of which I already have on my '80s-heavy iPod - except for the Poison and Motley Crue tunes.
Next up in the queue: Max Headroom - absolutely not a Mr. Mouse request.
Damn, I'm putting up more of these filler posts of late than I would like. Sorry about that. But I promise substantive stuff soon: I just finished A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin and will review that; I'm almost done with Missing Joseph by Elizabeth George and will write a little something there; I've watched one-third of The Men Who Stare at Goats and will dash off a sentence or two on that as well (Mr. Mouse didn't like it when he saw it on a plane recently but since he and I have nearly opposite tastes in movies, I'll probably end up loving it).
In the meantime, what should I watch next? These titles are bouncing around in my Blockbuster.com queue: tell me in the comments what I should move up to the top:
Thirst - Korean vampires Tron - haven't yet seen it Hot Tub Time Machine - requested by Mr. Mouse Sherlock Holmes - the RDJ and Jude Law version Max Headroom - I have been waiting for YEARS for this Daybreakers - non-Korean vampires Splinter - monster movie set in a quickie-mart, from what I can tell Big Love S1 - I do live in Utah now, after all Trucker - Nathan Fillion! Mad Men S1 - I watched Kristina Hendricks in Firefly before she got famous, btw
It's been far too long since my last bacon post, I realize. I don't have any new products or links or restaurant encounters for you, but what I do have is my recent epiphany.
This is how you cook bacon when it's 94 degrees out:
I don't know why I didn't do this before (well, mostly because I never had a grill with a side burner before, but still) because it's genius. The house doesn't smell like bacon for the next three days; the dog licks up any stray bacon grease splatters on the deck; and I get to be outside with a cocktail. Brilliant.
The whole reason I was needing to fry bacon - other than, duh, wanting some - was that I was trying out a new recipe for a homemade, non-processed energy bar to take with us on all the hikes we've been doing. Store-bought granola bars and energy bars can be too sweet and I had seen something on television during the Tour de France where the Radio Shack team's nutritionist whipped this up. It's cooked sushi rice, a couple of scrambled eggs and bacon mixed together with a little soy sauce, balsamic vinegar and grated Parmesan cheese. Pack it down into a pan, sprinkle a little brown sugar on top. Let cool then cut into bar sizes and wrap in foil paper.
Mr. Mouse and I tried them on our hike today. Pretty good, although I might go with less soy sauce and more brown sugar next time. Still, if it's good enough for the RS boys to eat, it's good enough for us. Plus, bacon!
I'm working on - new stuff, that is. I just watched the last two S2 True Blood episodes, so the recaps should be up soon. I've read The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (by Steig Larsson) and Stealing Buddha's Dinner (by Bich Minh Nguyen) but haven't bothered with reviews because on the first book, I'm hoping to eventually incorporate it into that ragingly successful FMS blog series (that has had exactly one entry to date), "Read It Watch It Watch It Again" - sidebar: I wasn't going to because I'm annoyed that Hollywood seems compelled to yet AGAIN remake a successful Swedish film like a year after the original came out, but yum, Daniel Craig plus Kristen Stewart will not be playing Salander - and on the second book, it's a memoir and I didn't really care about it one way or another. Currently reading: Fables: Volume 10, The Good Prince, by Bill Willingham.
I don't know what I'm going to watch once the TBS2 recaps are done. I had Big Love S1 lined up, which I feel compelled to watch what with living in SLC and all, but I kind of want to see some movies - Thirst, original Tron, Men Who Stare at Goats and Hot Tub Time Machine (the last is a Mr. Mouse request).
I'm superexcited for Rubicon to start, have Memphis Beat clogging up the DVR, and am gamely plugging away at Persons Unknown and The Gates. Mr. Mouse came in and sat down during the last Gates episode and watched for a while. He shook his head and told me, "This is so bad - worse than your True Blood because at least that has boobs from time to time." He's not wrong. Boobs definitely make trashy supernatural television better.
Mr. Mouse is involved in an epic battle with Comcast (stupid effing cable company) which may result in our canceling our cable. Before the end of Lost.
I am trying to remain calm. It's only a T.V. show.
In which I have invested YEARS of my life. I need a drink.
Mr. Mouse and I had to go to Best Buy this weekend for something and as we were standing there in the checkout line, we spotted what may be one of our best buys (har har) ever: a 5-disc DVD set of spaghetti Westerns, twenty movies, over 32 viewing hours, all for $6.99. We watched the first movie last night - a gem entitled Beyond the Law and starring Lee Van Cleef and Antonio Sabato*. Mr. Mouse is mostly excited because these movies are all short, between 85 and 114 minutes; I'm happy because other stars include Jack Palance, Klaus Kinski and William Shatner. * Father of General Hospital's former hunk, Antonio Sabato Jr. And boy howdee, do those two Antonios ever look alike!
I am a sucker for westerns: cowboys, lawmen, saloons, horses, ridin' and shootin'. I am also a sucker for Ed Harris (mmmmmmmmmmmm), so when Appaloosa came up in the Blockbuster Online queue, I got all giddy. Pluswhich, westerns are one of the few genres Mr. Mouse and I like in common and it'd been a while since we watched a movie together. (As I may have mentioned before, Mr. Mouse does not like science fiction, fantasy, really violent thrillers - with the exception of some gangster movies - foreign films, animated movies, movies based on videogames or comic books, period pieces or horror flicks. That pretty much leaves dark comedies, some gangster movies and westerns for us to share.)
Appaloosa is set in 1882 New Mexico. Virgil Cole (Ed Harris) and Everett Hitch (a finely-mustachioed Viggo Mortensen) are lawmen for hire, partnered these last dozen or so years. They've been hired by the Town of Appaloosa, NM, to clean up the town - specifically to deal with crooked rancher Bragg (Jeremy Irons, with a dubious accent) who has recently shot the town's marshall and deputies. Virgil and Everett immediately make it known that they are the new law and, more importantly, they are really good shots. At some point, a young ranchhand promises to testify against Bragg and Virgil and Everett are able to take him into custody.
It's a woman who screws everything up. Alison French, played simperingly by Renee Zellweger, is a widow who comes to town with nothing but a dollar, the ability to play piano and the ambition to catch herself a man. She comes between Virgil and Everett, although not exactly as you would think, and manages to get herself taken hostage when Bragg's men try to bust him loose. I won't give it all away but there are shoot-outs and broken hearts and just one of the heroes rides away into the sunset.
Appaloosa is an okay movie, not great. Based on the novel by Robert B. Parker, the film was co-written and directed by Ed Harris himself. He's got a nice eye for framing shots - many of which are quite lovely - but the story and characters seem lightweight somehow. It could be the fault of the source material, I suppose, but I haven't read the book. Viggo Mortensen does a nice job with what he's been given: his Everett is in the unlucky position of being smarter than his boss, the uncomplicated Virgil. But they're a good team, both the characters and the two actors portraying them - there's a sense of trust and loyalty between them.
When we turned the movie off, Mr. Mouse said, "Eh," which while not a ringing endorsement, at least proves that he stayed awake for the whole thing which is something in and of itself. If you enjoy westerns, you'll like Appaloosa well enough but I wouldn't bother rearranging my movie queue to get it to your mailbox any sooner.
Hi, all. We just got back from a well-needed vacation (poor Mr. Mouse hadn't had a week off for a year1) and are now making our way through the mountains of laundry that need to be done. We had decent weather, dry enough that Mr. Mouse was able to get his 25-80 mile bike ride in nearly every day; I, being not so much with the bicycling, read ten books. Since you're about to be inundated with book reviews, therefore, here's how it broke down.
11 library books and 1 loaner
9 read cover-to-cover and the loaner book finished up
of the read books: 2 British murder mysteries, 2 medical thrillers, 2 modern novels, 3 fantasy novels (1 classic, 2 modern) and 1 novel set in pioneer Missouri
of the unread books: 1 nigh-imprenetrable fantasy novel and 1 "jolly romp" of a 1960s English novel
I'm not saying that I watch a lot of television or anything, but this past Monday, June 15, 2009, Mr. Mouse and I finished watching the last episode out of all five seasons of House that we hadn't yet seen ... and we didn't even start watching the show until New Year's Day 2009.
That's like 110 episodes or something, given a short first season and the writers' strike. We were flipping channels on New Year's and found that both Fox and USA were in the habit of running House marathons. One packed DVR and six months later, I can confidently say that (a) I prefer the initial team of Chase, Cameron and Foreman, (b) Kutner's suicide was bogus, (c) there's no way Thirteen should have hit the #1 spot on Maxim's "Hot 100" list as she's too damn skinny and (d) Cuddy definitely looks better without bangs.
I recorded this one into the DVR and watched it over the course of three nights, in little short installments after Mr. Mouse went to bed. I couldn't quite admit to him that I was actually watching this classic 1980s horror flick. And by "classic 1980s" I mean "containing feathered hair on both the women and the men (plus mullets!), jewel-toned eye shadow a la Pat Benatar and scary Cosby sweaters." And by "horror" I mean bloody skinless adulterers and disgusting scorpion/slug monsters, sadomasochisism and some necrophilia. You know, something for everyone!
But then Mr. Mouse caught me, wandering in just as a character was being tormented by the very excellent Cenobites (I hope that they are used more in the later Hellraiser movies because you really didn't get to see enough of them here - great, creepy bad guys). Mr. Mouse stood there, staring for a moment at the television screen, and then remarked in his best deadpan, "That's really gross. And really fake."
He's completely right. I don't think there's much more I can say that will add value here: Hellraiser is a time-honored horror classic that is both gross and fake. Maybe Mr. Mouse should start writing these reviews instead of me.
Since Mr. Mouse has been less than his usually healthy self of late (he contracted the overwhelmingly exhausting chest and head cold that I had last month - and totally blames me for it), I have managed to see a fair number of movies, having loads of extra free time since he's gone to bed at, like, 6:30 p.m. each night as opposed to his regular 8:00 p.m. bedtime. I don't really have enough to say about any of these flicks individually so here's the short and sweet of it:
I Love You, Man - Mr. Mouse and I actually saw this together when we needed to be out of the house for a showing. Wonders of wonders, we both liked it, laughing out loud a lot, and - bonus - Mr. Mouse stayed awake throughout! Of course, now my crush on Paul Rudd has reached exponential levels: he is totally adorkable in this movie, bordering on excruciatingly awkward when his character tries to say hip, funny things. Jason Segal is great too, and really really tall. Plus there's a puggle named Anwar Sadat and Jon Favreau makes a fantastic jerk. I've got that damn song from Rush stuck in my head now, though.
Spiderman 3 - This was just excruciating. I hated it, fast-forwarding through all the angsty-lovey stuff and generally being bored with all the CGI stunts. Were there any actual people in this movie at all? It was far too cluttered with characters - two love interests, two villains and a half villain/half BFF - so Spidey was spread a little thin. I liked Venom but he got so little screentime that he was all but pointless. Which is sort of what I thought of this movie: pointless. The best part was Bruce Campbell's scene-stealing cameo as the snooty French maitre-d'. Awesome.
Army of Darkness - Speaking of Bruce Campbell, I also knocked off Sam Raimi's third Evil Dead movie. Unfortunately, I liked this the least of the trilogy. I loved the original - a great little low-budget gorefest; I enjoyed the second but noted the tonal shift to a horror-comedy hybrid. This third installment? I pretty much felt like I was watching an episode of Xena: Warrior Princess. You know, except without Xena. I don't think AoD can be considered a horror film at all (even if it is a sequel), more like a fantasy/action flick with a heaping side of slapstick comedy. There's no gore to speak of, and no scary moments and while there's lots of violence, to be sure, it's mostly against skeletons, both stop-action animation and live-action puppets. Still, it's got Bruce Campbell, and thus can't be all bad. It's good to be the king, baby.
I read, ski, drink good beer, go to matinees by myself, honestly believe that the DVR is the world's greatest invention, burn dinner for Mr. Mouse on a semi-regular basis and watch more horror films than I think I do. I like puppies and kittens and baby bunnies and bacon and sunshine and the mountains of Utah and chocolate banana malted milkshakes and puppies and chick flicks (no, not chick flicks) and surprises and classic Mustangs and did I say puppies already? I like sarcasm and snark and tend to have a glass-half-empty view of life because when things turn out, I'm pleasantly surprised. I also like puppies.
But since I'm supposed to say something: "We use cookies to personalise content and ads, to provide social media features and to analyse our traffic. We also share information about your use of our site with our social media, advertising and analytics partners who may combine it with other information you’ve provided to them or they’ve collected from your use of their services." EXCEPT I DON'T: I don't use ads, I don't analyze traffic, I don't have third party/advertising/analytics/social media partners. Enjoy your time here.
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