While Eric is tangling with Russell, the werewolves attack, dragging Alcide away and separating Bill and Sookie. Russell breaks free and menaces Sookie a bit, drawn to her by her fairy-ness until she blasts him away with her glowing hands. Alcide tosses the attacking wolves around, killing - and recognizing - at least one. Eric tackles Russell and hauls out a stake; Bill convinces him that they need to bring him back to the Authority alive ... but what luck: the Authority has arrived with a bunch of black-suited commandos, Peter Mensah in charge (Doctore, from Spartacus, but I can't be bothered to look up his character's name here).
Back at Fangtasia, Pam finally breaks up the fight between Tara and Jessica. Jess limps away, grumbling that the friendship is off apparently; Hoyt watches her go. Pam reminds Tara that this is her bar and she is in charge and, while she did a good job holding her own in the fight, she needs to watch herself. In Bon Temps, Luna and Sam are rushed to the emergency room, bleeding and screaming (what will human doctors discover about shapeshifters?) while Emma, in wolf-puppy form, runs to Martha's house to safety. When Luna and Sam are out of surgery, Luna frantic about her daughter, Sam has come out of it better and promises to go back to Bon Temps immediately to find out what happened. Just then Martha and Emma (now human again) show up and Martha and Luna call an uneasy truce, since Luna needs the older woman to watch after her daughter.
A captured Russell Edgington is a riled-up Russell Edgington. He is led away in cuffs, ranting about the Authority's blind idiocy in following the cult of Lilith. After he is gone, Peter Mensah mentions his concerns about the humans (Sookie and Doug) and the werewolf (Alcide) having seen too much. As PM goes to deal with Doug and the shackled humans down the hall, Eric glamours Alcide so he won't remember, implanting an extra command that he will henceforth find Sookie sexually disgusting even though he will protect her with his life; Bill pretends to glamour Sookie but doesn't really, instead "commanding" her to live her life apart from him, as a human, in the sun.
Note: the DVD skipped a bit so I've missed something but really, who cares. I mean, really. One thing that is a little important, however, is that once the Authority thugs load all the rescued humans, plus Doug, onto a bus to ostensibly drive them home, Peter Mensah steps aboard the bus and in a massive splatter of blood, kills ALL THE HUMANS. Now, that doesn't seem like it's in line with the get-along-with-humans Authority party line.
In other things no one cares about, Terry and Patrick are driving home, still way freaked out about the ifrit. Terry flings himself out of the moving car and runs into a field, screaming how they're both dead men. Oh, harden the fuck up, Terry. When he gets back to town, he finds Arlene and tells her about the village in Iraq, and how they killed everyone, and how they're now cursed and being hunted by "an evil smoke monster" [Lost shout out?]. He says that he has to leave her and the kids for their safety. Arlene's like, honey, you're off your meds again, aren't you? He is adamant, however, and she lets him go.
Lafayette goes to the nursing home to see his momma who tells him that she saw a vision of Jesus's decapitated, mute head. She tells her boy that his dead lover wants to talk to him but Jesus's father has captured him. "You gots to go, Lala. Jesus is in trouble! You gots to save Jesus!" When Sookie goes into her next shift at Merlotte's, Jason finds her there and tells her what he found out about their parents' death at the fairy "nightclub." She's like, you have to take me there, fairies are big trouble. Also, Sam insists that Andy help him with the investigation into the shapeshifter murders because, as a shapeshifter, he can go places humans can't. Also, Alcide strides into the wolfpack, accusing them of being V addicts and working for vampires [meaning Russell], and saying that he's assuming control of the pack. One of the wolves says that he's got to fight for leadership and Alcide's like, okay. And then a gorgeous she-wolf volunteers to fight at Alcide's side as his second. I don't know any of these characters' names. I don't care.
When Bill and Eric return to the Authority HQ, the chancellors applaud their success and Molly the tech takes their iStakes off. Tina Majorino is ADORABLE here. As much as I dislike the boring Authority scenes, I hope she gets more to do and sticks around for a while. Salome informs the boys that Nora has confessed her sanguinista leanings. Pompous old Roman swaggers in, happy as can be about Russell's capture, with a very old bottle of blood to celebrate. Blah blah blah. Salome says she needs to go interrogate Russell some more but Roman is all, don't bother - we're going to execute him tonight, here in the council chamber. She says she'll give him a half dose of silver to keep him tame and bring him up. After she leaves, Eric asks for permission to talk with Nora. Roman's like okay, but don't miss the execution.
Andy and Sam investigate an anti-vampire sporting goods shop. After being questioned for a while, the clerk gets a little twitchy and Sam ends up shooting him with a crossbow right before the clerk can shoot Andy, saving his life - Sam had "sensed him go into survival mode," because apparently that's something he can do now. Meanwhile, Hoyt is getting sucked off [not THAT way, perverts] by a vampire in an alley somewhere when some rednecks - quite possibly the same ones who shot Sam and Luna - drive up, stake the vamp and drive off with Hoyt. That night, Sookie and Jason make their way into the fairy "nightclub," asking about what happened to their parents. They meet up with one who is actually a little forthcoming, who tells them what he'd heard: that one night long ago, a vampire was drawn to an old bandaid of Sookie's in the backseat of the Stackhouse car - he was attracted to her blood. Sookie's all, STFU you lying liars!
As Salome brings a ranting and raving Russell out from the cells, Eric tries to get Nora to talk to him. But she is transported with Lilith-ecstasy, saying that God's plan is happening and that everything will come to pass. Eric's like, WTF is your deal? before realizing that it was Salome who released Russell, who has been orchestrating all of this. Up in the council chamber, Russell is still raving: you use Lilith to justify your bloodlust for power - "you're a hypocrite! I want human blood but not because some Bible tells me to. I like it, it's fun, it makes my dick hard!!!" Roman has heard enough, and shouts that this is about balance and mercy and order and peace. He presses the remote for the iStake on Russell's chest but it doesn't go off. Instead, Russell lunges to his feet and slams Roman down on the table, pressing a real stake to the Guardian's chest. The former King vampire sneers, "Peace is for pussies!" before gloriously staking Roman while Bill, Salome, Molly, a just-arrived Eric and the other chancellors watch. Down in the cells, Nora leans back and spreads her arms wide, praising Lilith's name.
Damn, everything is better with Russell Edgington, isn't it?
Previously on True Blood / next time on True Blood
4 hours ago