Wednesday, September 17, 2014

True Blood episode recap S5E12 "Save Yourself"

One episode and two seasons to go ...

Picking right up where we left off, all the fairies blast Russell with all the light they've got, but it doesn't do anything but whet his appetite due to the Elder's blood he just consumed.  But Eric to the rescue!  He sneaks up and grabs his old enemy from behind, planting a stake well into Russell's heart.  Russell grins, mutters "Oh fuck," and disintegrates into lots of bloody goo.  Eric, getting his vengeance after a thousand years: "Well, that felt even better than I thought it would."  Afterwards, Sookie rushes out to check on the unconscious Jason.  Nora immediately starts drooling, "What is she? She smells delicious!" Eric grabs his sister, saying that Sookie is nothing but a waitress that saved his life many times and that Nora is not to eat her.  "But I want her!"  Eric makes Nora swear on Godric that she will leave Sookie alone; sulkily she swears.

Down in the Authority HQ, when Sam is brought before Bill, Bill is all, well, now you know too much.  Sam says that he's just here to get Emma back and he doesn't care what the crazy vamps are up to, but Bill fangs up and approaches menacingly because he's completely gone over to the crazy-dark side.  So Sam shifts into a housefly and buzzes off into the ventilation system.  Bill growls at the Authority guards, "In case you haven't noticed, we've been breached."  Then there's some Bill-speechifying (ugh), as Salome watches approvingly.  He sends the guards out to scour every inch of HQ, telling them to kill every bit of vermin they find - and if it doesn't shift back into human form after it's dead, keep looking!  Once the guards are gone, Bill kneels before Salome and lies/tells her that Lilith appeared to him and told him that Salome was to lead them all and that he was to protect and serve her.  Salome breathes ecstatically.

Meanwhile, Eric and Nora go to Fangtasia, Nora still marveling over the fact that she never encountered a delicious fairy before.  Then Tara comes out and tells Eric that the Authority got Pam.  Eric immediately goes into the basement and starts loading up light-tight coffins and oodles of cash.  Nora complains that they can't go rescue Pam - she's nothing but a prostitute - and Eric snaps at her that Pam is family.  When Nora and Tara growl at each other a bit, Eric points out that Tara is family too.  Back at the Stackhouse farm, Jason is having hallucinations of his parents when Eric, Nora and Tara show up.  Eric is all, Sookie, I need to you help me rescue Bill, Jessica and Pam from the Authority; Tara growls, "You owe Pam."  Nora: "You smell like something I once dreamed of."  Sookie: "Eric, tell your sister to stop looking at me like that."  Heh.  Jason's hallucinations urge him not to help the vampires but Eric explains what is going on, saying that if anyone can get through to Bill, it's Sookie.  Tara:"And you owe Pam."  The Stackhouse siblings agree and everyone mounts up.

Sam goes back to the cells, gives Luna the update that "apparently [Bill] has lost his motherfucking mind."  He tells her that if the guards come for her, she should shift and hide in the ductwork, and then they'll come back later for Emma.  Later, he comes back and says he's got a plan.  In another part of the cells, Jessica tells Pam that Bill and Eric are acting like they're in a religious cult.  Pam's like, I can totally believe that about Bill.  Heh.  She also remarks that one of the worst parts of being immortal is having to watch the same stupid shit happen over and over and over again:  "It's usually just the humans, though.  I guess this just proves we're just as fuckin' retarded as they are."

Ugh: Alcide and his dad grill up a buck they took down that morning.  Blah blah blah.  Then Martha drives up with Ricki (the hot she-wolf Alcide has been banging) screaming in the backseat.  She's on the verge of ODing on the low quality V she's been forced to ingest.  They take her inside Alcide's dad's trailer to detox her.  As she gets more lucid, Ricki tells the others how JD forced her to take the V and how the older wolves forced themselves on the younger females.  This is clearly not how packs work and Alcide gets all het-up about it.  His dad says the only way to fight JD is to play at his own game: he just happens to have some high quality vampire blood in the fridge and if Alcide takes just a little, it'll up his game enough to beat JD.

Back in Bon Temps, at Merlotte's, Arlene, Holly and Lafayette takes advantage of the boss being away to get their drink on and dance a bit.  Then Andy and pregnant fairy Mirella come in.  Andy ruins Holly's buzz by telling her about Mirella.  Holly gets pretty damn pissed.  But then Mirella goes into labor and Holly has to play midwife, laying the fairy out on the pool table and delivering four (!) babies while Arlene and Lafayette watch, fascinated.  Then Mirella hops up, kisses Andy on the cheek and says that the babies are his to take care of now.  She skips out of the bar and Holly gives Andy some serious stinkeye.

Sam's great escape plan is for Luna to skinwalk into Steve Newlin, fetch puppy-Emma out of the cells and take her for a walk, while housefly-Sam hitches a ride.  Steve-Luna almost makes it out of HQ  but (1) the receptionist gets suspicious when s/he forgets to use the real Steve's Southern accent and (2) Roslyn accosts Steve-Luna in the elevator, saying it is time for his television broadcast.  Things fall apart quickly as Luna starts to get sick from the skinwalking in the studio, unable to hold the shift and changing back into herself.  Roslyn starts to lose her shit and housefly-Sam awesomely flies down her throat AND THEN SHIFTS BACK TO HIMSELF WHILST INSIDE HER.  That was SO GREAT.  Then Luna passes out.

Back to the werewolves: Alcide finds JD and his followers stringing up a vampire in the middle of the woods, looking to bleed him for more V.  Martha and Alcide's dad have his back as Alcide starts pummeling JD: "I think you won this one, son."  But Alcide isn't finished and snaps JD's neck.  The rest of the pack kneel before him as he lays down the law for them.  "Tonight, we choose the pack."

Salome goes to the Lilith shrine, intending to drink the blood and accept her calling.  But Bill intercepts her.  She drinks the blood but he has switched it out for blood laced with silver.  They struggle a little as she realizes his betrayal and then he stakes her.  Thus endeth Salome.  Meanwhile, Eric and Nora drive back into HQ, with Sookie, Jason and Tara tied up in the back as "prisoners."  Once inside, everyone gears up and Jason takes great light in offing as many Authority vamps as he can.  The rest of them go deeper into HQ, Eric and Nora slaughtering a whole squadron of guards without batting an eye.  Sookie and Tara go to the cells while Nora and Eric go to the control room to disarm and unlock everything.  Pam, to Tara: "What the fuck are you doing here?"  Tara: "Rescuing your ass, bitch."  When the cell doors open, Tara walks in and plants a big ol' kiss on her maker.  As they make out, Sookie's jaw drops while Jessica grins: "I knew it!"

Eric sends everyone else out while he and Sookie track down Bill.  They find him in the chancellors' chamber, clutching the real Lilith blood.  They try to reason with him but he is way too far gone (I just don't buy this from the character - Bill has always been searching for something but this religious crap doesn't fit for me).  As they watch, he drinks the Lilith blood.  He shudders, shakes and then dissolves into a pool of blood!  Sookie cries out, burying her face in the equally stunned Eric's chest.  But then the pool of blood shimmers and moves, and Bill re-emerges, fully formed, naked and blood-covered.  (Sookie: "Fuck ....")  Bill's eyes open and his fangs pop out and he roars at them.  Eric shoves Sookie behind him, screaming, "Run!"

There you go, True Blood.  That's the sort of episode I've been waiting for all season.  Try to keep it up for S6.

Previously on True Blood / next time on True Blood

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