The Fourth Annual FMS Scarelicious October Movie Series - Movie #5: Ravenous

Ravenous (1999) is a weird, little, kind of gory, kind of funny, low budget movie - just the thing for this month's movie series.

Captain John Boyd, Mexican-American War hero, is a troubled man.  First, he's not really a hero: left for dead on the battlefield, he was dragged behind enemy lines and stuck in a pile of dead soldiers, their coagulating blood running into his mouth.  With a surge of vigor, he climbed out and single-handedly took over a Mexican fort.  His commanding general thinks he's weird, however, and sends him off into the California wilderness to be stationed at the remote Ft. Spencer, deep in the Sierra Nevadas.  There are eight soldiers there - Boyd, Colonel Hart, Private Toffler the chaplain, Private Cleaves the layabout, Private Reich the psycho soldier, Captain Knox the drunkard, and a pair of Native American siblings, Martha and George.  When a starving man (Colqhoun) wanders out of the wilderness, babbling about his wagon trail being stuck in the mountains and reverting to cannibalism to survive, the bored soldiers head out to see if they can rescue anyone.  It's a trap, of course, and Colqhoun is the wendigo - the man imbued with strength and power from consuming other men - and he makes mincemeat of most of the rescue party.  Colqhoun recognizes a kindred, cannibal spirit in Boyd, and delights in tormenting him.  Boyd doesn't want to eat human flesh again because it's wrong from a moral standpoint; Colqhoun is the wily devil's advocate and, out in the middle of nowhere, it's difficult to resist him.

First of all, Ravenous has an amazing cast for a movie I never even heard of before:  Guy Pearce as Boyd; Jeffrey Jones (the principal from Ferris Bueller's Day Off) as Col. Hart; Robert Carlyle (The Fully Monty) as Colqhoun; Jeremy Davies/Toffler (Lost), David Arquette/Cleaves, Neal McDonough/Reich (most recently the blond psycho from Justified) and John Spencer (Leo McGary from West Wing) as the grumpy general.  The music is incongruous, perky compared to some of what goes on on-screen.  The gaping wounds and spurting blood are over the top but not particularly gruesome.  Jones and Carlyle have some pretty funny lines and seem to be winking at the camera more often than not, while Pearce is his usual dour self.  The movie is a little slow in spots and runs a tad long - at 100 minutes, they could probably have trimmed at least 10 minutes away - but I thought Ravenous was a surprisingly entertaining, if not awfully scary, scary movie.

Next:  Land of the Dead

Mini book review: Red Country by Joe Abercrombie

Man oh man, don't I just love me Joe Abercrombie's books.  No other fantasy writer I've read - and I've read a lot - writes action like he does.  The world he's built is populated with fascinating, deeply flawed characters who have a propensity for violence and adventure.  With Red Country, Abercrombie has added yet another great book, taking place some years after the events of The Heroes, which was after Best Served Cold, which took place after the First Law trilogy.  When Shy South's brother and sister are kidnapped and taken west, into the Far Country, she and her stepfather Lamb give chase.  Shy is a tough cookie, struggling to forget the evil deeds of her youth. Lamb is a giant Northman, quiet, scarred and with only nine fingers.  Shy thinks he's a coward.  She's going to change her mind about that.  As they follow the trail of the kidnappers, they join a wagon train heading to the wild west town of Crease.  Red Country has a  Western flair - quite different from the Mediterranean aspect of BSC - and the wagon train's journey brought Lonesome Dove to mind, while the nasty little settlement of Crease makes Deadwood look like Paris.  Like Abercrombie's other books, Red Country is full of great characters, several of whom have appeared in previous volumes: Captain-General Nicomo Costa is there, with the cleaver-wielding Sgt. Friendly and assorted other of his mercenaries; Caul Shivers and Glama Golden have cameos; and the mysterious Mayor of Crease seems awfully familiar.  The wild West tone is slightly jarring compared to the previous books but Red Country is great fun and a solid entry in Abercrombie's bibliography.  I'm starting to think I should buy these books.

Mini movie review: True Grit (2010)

Mr. Mouse and I like Westerns and we generally like the Coen brothers' films, so I was glad when we finally got around to see their remake/retelling of True Grit.  I loved the look of the movie and thought Hailee Steinfeld and Jeff Bridges were terrific (even tho' I had a difficult time understanding a lot of Bridges's lines).  Mr. Mouse thought it was a little slow and I do concur that it seemed like there was a whole lot of build up ... and then not much time spent on the resolution - we were looking and looking and looking for Tom Chaney (Josh Brolin) and then hardly saw him at all before he was dealt with.  I guess I'll put it here in my listing of favorite Coen brothers' movies: Fargo, The Big Lebowski, O Brother Where Art Thou?, True Grit, Raising Arizona, Blood Simple, The Hudsucker Proxy, Barton Fink, Burn After Reading.  (Yes, No Country for Old Men and The Man Who Wasn't There are on my "why haven't I seen these yet?" list.)

The First Ever FMS Scarelicious October Movie Series - Movie #6: The Burrowers

In the 1879 of The Burrowers, in the badlands of South Dakota, a family of settlers are attacked and abducted.  The folks investigating, including Ethan Rom from Lost (William Mapother), Brother Justin Crowe from Carnivale (Clancy Brown) and Eugene Tooms from The X-Files (Doug Hutchison - also on Lost), think the attackers must have been Indians, despite the bizarre and bloodless wounds on the dead bodies left behind.  The rescue party heads out and in short order - the movie is only 96 minutes long - learn that they are up against giant, fleshy cicadas with bloodworm-type mouths - the eponymous burrowers.  These critters tend to sneak up on you at nighttime, stab you with a claw and then vomit a paralysing goo into the wound, incapacitating the victim.  Then the burrowers drag them off and bury them alive, waiting for the innards to liquefy into a tasty snack.  They are nigh impossible to kill too - bullets don't even faze them.

This movie rather felt like an extended X-Files episode - but without Mulder and Scully and you know, set in the Old West.  It was fairly suspenseful (I jumped several times and peeked through my fingers once), gritty with washed-out colors.  The filmmakers smartly didn't let us get a good look at the burrowers until the end; I preferred the practical effects to the CGI, which were well-enough done, but just didn't have the immediacy that practical effects do.  It was medium gory, with people and horses getting shot, amputation (from a distance) and lots of squishy noises.

The horror western is an under-appreciated genre, in my opinion. While certainly are plenty of options should you so choose to explore the "Weird West," (lists of films found here and here), most people just don't think of combining the two. Is the thinking that in westerns you already have tough, scrappy people struggling to survive - and to add slashing maniacs or horrific beasties to the mix is just too much? I don't know - but I do know that The Burrowers (2008) is a solid little B-movie and a nummy treat for those of us who think that horror films and westerns are two tastes that taste pretty good together.

Italian Cowboys vs. Southern Vampires

The plan had been to get my True Blood S2 DVDs up and running so as not to lag in the recap action, but Blockbuster.com and I seem to have a disagreement as to what "available" means: I think it means they should have shipping me the first TB S2 disk, while they think it means skip over the TB set and send me Extract instead. Which I don't have anyway because of the holiday.  Life as an unpaid t.v./movie blogger is so hard.

However, Mr. Mouse and I have managed to get through 3.5 movies in our spaghetti western 20-pack.  We've decided to keep a list and rank the movies as we get through them, not giving them grades but ranking the whole twenty from favorite to "OMGthatwastheworsthingever."  So far we've seen Beyond the Law (1968), in which Lee Van Cleef plays a former bandit turned Western town sheriff; Apache Blood (1975, a/k/a "Pursuit") where Ray Danton stars as an Apache chief out for blood when all of his people are killed by white soldiers; and This Man Can't Die (1967), starring Guy Madison as a government agent who returns home after years away to find his parents brutally murdered and his youngest sister raped by the parent-murdering banditos.  We're also halfway through Gunfight at Red Sands (1964, with Richard Harrison) but have had to pause in our viewing of it because we both fell asleep due to the extreme slowness of the film. 

Thus far, TMCD is at number one, then BtL, GaRS and AB pulling up the rear.  AB is a really, really bad movie and the reviews and comments on it at IMBD are hilarious.  The acting is bad, the directing is bad, the editing is gawdawful, the story - which could have been accomplished in 40 minutes - is stretched to 90, and even that is too long.  It's rated R for some reason - maybe for "Really boRing" - but certainly not for the violence because the editing cuts away from all the kill shots ... and there could have been good ones, including death by cactus and a man vs. bear fight.

We're enjoying watching these though and are interested to see if any of the other sixteen as-yet unseen movies can top Apache Blood in sheer awfulness.  And if they do, you can be sure to hear about it here.

"Those must be the real bandits!"

Mr. Mouse and I had to go to Best Buy this weekend for something and as we were standing there in the checkout line, we spotted what may be one of our best buys (har har) ever: a 5-disc DVD set of spaghetti Westerns, twenty movies, over 32 viewing hours, all for $6.99.  We watched the first movie last night - a gem entitled Beyond the Law and starring Lee Van Cleef and Antonio Sabato*.  Mr. Mouse is mostly excited because these movies are all short, between 85 and 114 minutes; I'm happy because other stars include Jack Palance, Klaus Kinski and William Shatner.
* Father of General Hospital's former hunk, Antonio Sabato Jr.  And boy howdee, do those two Antonios ever look alike!

Movie review: 3:10 to Yuma (2007)

I've said before that I'm partial to Westerns.  I like the grit, the morality play, the harshness of the landscape.  3:10 to Yuma is a strong entry in the genre.  Christian Bale plays Dan Evans, a nearly defeated rancher, a former Easterner wounded in the Civil War, whose cattle are dying of thirst, whose neighbor is trying to force him off his land and whose wife and sons have doubts about his ability to provide for them.  Russell Crowe is Ben Wade, a very successful outlaw, running a scruffy, disreputable crew who has robbed the railroad twenty-two times, to the tune of $400,000.  When Wade lingers in town after his last job, trying to spend some time away from his nasty gang, he is captured, although he doesn't seem to upset about it.  Evans ends up as part of the posse transporting the outlaw to the town of Contention to meet the prison train in order to collect reward money that will keep his ranch, and family, alive.

The cast is a loaded one.  In addition to Bale and Crowe, there's Alan Tudyk as the town doctor, Peter Fonda as the head Pinkerton in charge of bringing Wade in, Luke Wilson as someone scruffy with bad teeth, Gretchen Mol as Evans's wife and Ben Foster, who is fantastic as Wade's obsessively loyal second in command.  Bale and Crowe are both fantastic here, terrific actors who through the course of the film segue from animosity and disdain for each other to a grudging acceptance and even respect.  Bale is particularly good as an honest man getting more than he bargained for while trying to restore his family's faith in him.

The problem, for me, was the very ending of the movie.  Mr. Mouse gave 3:10 to Yuma a C, unable to account for the 180 degree turn Ben Wade makes at the very end (I'm trying to not entirely spoil the thing here).  I'm not judging quite so harshly, surmising that perhaps since Wade has come to like and admire Dan Evans, he is possibly willing to go back to the prison from which he has already escaped twice, to help Evans out.  It even makes sense to me that Wade could turn on his own men in the end, sick of associating with such "animals," as he deemed them earlier.  But still, it's such an awfully big change that seemed to come in a rush at the end that it just doesn't sit quite right.  I don't need everything wrapped up in a happy ending, and, in fact, prefer that many Westerns do not, but I need the characters to stay true to themselves.  Ben Wade changed just too much for me to really believe in it.  However, not everyone feels this way - Roger Ebert loved this movie, for example - and I think it's worth a viewing to make up your own mind about it.

Book review: Heart of the Trail: The Stories of Eight Wagon Train Women by Mary Barmeyer O'Brien

In Mary Barmeyer O'Brien's slim volume, Heart of the Trail: The Stories of Eight Wagon Train Women, we are introduced to eight American frontierswomen who crossed this country by covered wagon.  Thousands of pioneers journeyed through the American West in the mid-1800s: most of the stories and histories are just that - "his stories," records kept and tales told by the men.  But the women kept journals too, and wrote many letters to their friends and families back home, and it is in their words that the human experience may be found.

Each of the eight women profiled in this book are very different from one another.  One honeymooned west, travelling cushily in an armchair in her wagon.  Another was a devoted mother, determined that her three children would survive the hazardous trip, made even more horrifying when her husband went insane on the journey.  One was an African-American woman, a freed slave, who ended up establishing Denver's first Sunday school.  Yet another nearly perished with her family when they were given wrong advice about where to cross near the Great Salt Lake. 

O'Brien has sketched lightly out what these amazing pioneer women's journeys must have been like, utilizing the women's own letters and diaries, and then extrapolating from secondary sources.  This isn't deep stuff - easily read, I could see this being used in middle schools for American history classes (do they teach American history in middle school?) - but it's quite interesting, a look at a chapter in our country's history from a point of view not often considered.  What's more, O'Brien lists her sources and this book is thus a good jumping-off point if folks want to explore the primary materials.

I recently crossed the country with Mr. Mouse, the dog and my most cherished possessions.  We did it in four days, in a pick-up truck and towing our car.  It was a long drive, nerve-wracking during the Midwestern cities' rush-hours and while hurtling down I-80 W into Salt Lake City, and I was so relieved when our journey ended.  My trip can't compare to what these eight women - and the multitudes of others like them - went through during their emigrations, but I believe I can understand their joy and gratitude when their journeys finally ended.

Movie review: Appaloosa

I am a sucker for westerns: cowboys, lawmen, saloons, horses, ridin' and shootin'. I am also a sucker for Ed Harris (mmmmmmmmmmmm), so when Appaloosa came up in the Blockbuster Online queue, I got all giddy. Pluswhich, westerns are one of the few genres Mr. Mouse and I like in common and it'd been a while since we watched a movie together. (As I may have mentioned before, Mr. Mouse does not like science fiction, fantasy, really violent thrillers - with the exception of some gangster movies - foreign films, animated movies, movies based on videogames or comic books, period pieces or horror flicks. That pretty much leaves dark comedies, some gangster movies and westerns for us to share.)

Appaloosa is set in 1882 New Mexico. Virgil Cole (Ed Harris) and Everett Hitch (a finely-mustachioed Viggo Mortensen) are lawmen for hire, partnered these last dozen or so years. They've been hired by the Town of Appaloosa, NM, to clean up the town - specifically to deal with crooked rancher Bragg (Jeremy Irons, with a dubious accent) who has recently shot the town's marshall and deputies. Virgil and Everett immediately make it known that they are the new law and, more importantly, they are really good shots. At some point, a young ranchhand promises to testify against Bragg and Virgil and Everett are able to take him into custody.

It's a woman who screws everything up. Alison French, played simperingly by Renee Zellweger, is a widow who comes to town with nothing but a dollar, the ability to play piano and the ambition to catch herself a man. She comes between Virgil and Everett, although not exactly as you would think, and manages to get herself taken hostage when Bragg's men try to bust him loose. I won't give it all away but there are shoot-outs and broken hearts and just one of the heroes rides away into the sunset.

Appaloosa is an okay movie, not great. Based on the novel by Robert B. Parker, the film was co-written and directed by Ed Harris himself. He's got a nice eye for framing shots - many of which are quite lovely - but the story and characters seem lightweight somehow. It could be the fault of the source material, I suppose, but I haven't read the book. Viggo Mortensen does a nice job with what he's been given: his Everett is in the unlucky position of being smarter than his boss, the uncomplicated Virgil. But they're a good team, both the characters and the two actors portraying them - there's a sense of trust and loyalty between them.

When we turned the movie off, Mr. Mouse said, "Eh," which while not a ringing endorsement, at least proves that he stayed awake for the whole thing which is something in and of itself. If you enjoy westerns, you'll like Appaloosa well enough but I wouldn't bother rearranging my movie queue to get it to your mailbox any sooner.

Link me, m'dear

Are you just not getting enough vitamin B ... as in, B-movies? AMCtv.com has the answer to that: BMC has around forty full-length, full-screen online cinematic gems ready and waiting for you in all the genres you could hope for. Spaghetti westerns? You betcha! Sci-fi/fantasy? How does The Saga of the Viking Women and Their Voyage to the Waters of the Great Sea Serpent grab you? There's horror (Devil Doll, The Cat Girl), comedy (Raquel Welch in A Swingin' Summer), action/adventure (Hercules Unchained and Dragstrip Girls) and crime/thrillers (The Crawling Eye, Dog Eat Dog and The Haunted Strangler) - to name just a few. I plan to watch as many of these "unsung classics" as I can stand.

It's like AMC Day around here! I also learned of The. Best. Holiday. Ever. over there on the Horror Hacker blog: World Zombie Day. It's an old post, sure, but still - who doesn't need to know that there is one day when the world's zombies and zombie fans can join together and stagger around celebrate? This year, it's October 11. World-headquarters are in Pittsburgh, of course.

As soon as we sell this frakkin' house and move out to Utah, I'm so going to read every page of this blog: Stuff Unemployed People Like. I haven't poked around on it much yet - want to save it for when I need it! - but it looks to be chockful of very important information, such as "Walking Everywhere to Save Time," "Finally Having Time to Be an Artist" and "Getting Annoyed About Having to Get Dressed."

The AV Club has a good article on how to start reading Stephen King if you want to but haven't yet. As a hugenormous SK fan who has read almost all his stuff, I pretty much concur with their findings. Love those old short stories!

Movie review: The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

I'm going to be honest with you: this is not a movie that Mr. Mouse stayed awake through. He fell asleep during the first half hour (of this 160 minute movie) and eventually got up off the couch and went to bed unasked. I almost always have to ask because of the snoring but he went voluntarily this time. Even I nodded off rested my eyelids a couple of times. TAoJJbtCRF* is a gorgeously filmed and wonderfully acted movie, but fast-paced it ain't.

This film spans (approximately) the year just before Jesse James's death and the year just after. We first meet up with the James gang as they're about to pull off their last train robbery in Missouri. It's a new gang though: Frank (Sam Shepard) and Jesse James (Brad Pitt) are there, but all the other guys are new, including a cousin of theirs (Jeremy Renner), some petty thieves (Paul Schneider) and a few local knuckleheads (Garret Dillahunt - channeling his Jack McCall character from Deadwood).

Included among the knuckleheads are two Ford brothers, Charlie (Sam Rockwell) and Robert (Casey Affleck). Bob Ford has followed Jesse's career of mayhem since he was a boy and is overwhelmed by his nearness to the man. By turns fawning and obsequious, then sullen and angry when his attentions are laughed at, Ford continues to worm himself into the outlaw's life. As the government starts to close in on Jesse, James becomes paranoid, turning on the men in his gang. At the film's climax, when Ford shoots Jesse in the bandit's own living room, the torment on Ford's face is clear: is he killing his idol before James kills him, or is he doing it to grab a place in the spotlight for himself.

Both Pitt and Affleck are outstanding in this film. Affleck was nominated for a Best Supporting Actor Oscar for his portrayal of the pathetic, cringing, lickspittle (but dead shot) Ford. Pitt is extremely convincing as the charismatic James in what may one of his best acting jobs to date. Supporting players are uniformly strong as well, although Mary Louise Parker was wasted in her miniscule role as Jesse's wife.

The problem with this movie is pacing. As in its lack thereof. Long stretches of time go by when nothing happens, and then longer stretches when the supporting characters do nothing but mutter at each other. Because Affleck and Pitt's characters are so compelling, they are sorely missed when they are not on-screen and, frankly, there's too much time without them.

If you've got plenty of time, are well-caffeinated and are a fan of the lore of the American West, then by all means indulge in The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford. If any of those ingredients are missing, however ... well, you've been warned.

* It's also got one of the most cumbersome movie titles ever. I mean, really. I know it's the title of the book but jeesh.