Wednesday, August 27, 2014

True Blood episode recap "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" S5E9

The renegade Authority/Lilith-lovers proceed with their plan to destroy all the TruBlood factories and munch on naked humans, this time a guy - full-frontal fear for everyone!  (On a side note, Russell and Steve are flirting quite a lot - Russell wants a new boyfriend to replace Talbot.)  Eric is really not on board with all of this and searches for a way to escape.  He approaches Molly/Vampire Mac (Tina Majorino), who has had her clearance revoked and doesn't want to play with the new regime either.  Molly: "We're totally fucking fucked, unless ... it's a totally stupid idea and will probably get you killed."   Eric: "Perfect."

Back in Bon Temps, Sookie and Lafayette catch up until all the spirits crowding the house interrupt.  Gran's spirit has a message for Sookie: she's glad the fairies are looking out for her granddaughter and, if she wants a clue about Warlow, she's sleeping on top of it.  Sookie pokes around under her bed, dragging out a box of photographs and knickknacks.  Also, Sam and Luna are determined to use their shifter senses to track down the redneck vigilantes.  Also, Terry decides to offer Patrick a fair fight to the death to lift the curse, over Arlene's hysterical protestations.

Jessica is at the sheriff's office with Jason, trying to figure out what happened to Hoyt.  She can't sense him anymore, so he's either unconscious or dead, and she's beside herself with worry and fear.  The sun is about to come up, however, and she needs to go to ground, so Jason promises to find Hoyt.   Meanwhile, a knocked-out and tied-up Hoyt is being dragged through a barn.  Sometime later, Andy and Jason get a lead that the redneck vigilantes are being led by "the Dragon," much like the Klan back in the day.

At Fangtasia, Pam and Tara discuss strategy now that TruBlood will be in short supply.  Pam: "We keep our heads down, our tits up and the TruBlood flowin' [so our vampire customers don't eat our human customers and put us out of business]."  Tara: "My god, it's gonna be a bloodbath out there, isn't it?"  Tara notes that Pam is worried about Eric and offers to listen if she wants to talk about it.  Pam: "Just because we drank a bitch together does not make us Oprah and Gayle.  Get the fuck back to work."  Tara, undeterred: "Suck me, Vampire Barbie."  Pam: *eyebrow and eyeroll*

Eric approaches Bill and is all, WTF are you up to?  Bill's like, what if this is for real?  What if God really is a vampire?  It sounds like he's drinking Salome and Nora's Kool-aid.  Eric lets him in on the escape plan Molly came up with.  I don't think Bill can be trusted, though.

Sookie and Lafayette find an old clipping saying that former Sheriff Bud Dearborn was the one who found Sookie's parents' bodies.  She decides she should go talk to him.  As she talks with him, she picks up that he's hiding something but then Bud's fat girlfriend ("Sweetie") comes up behind Sookie and whacks her on the head with a cast iron frying pan.  Later, Sookie wakes up in a barn, surrounded by squealing pigs.  Hoyt is over there in the corner too, drugged three sheets to the wind.

Pointless flashback: Alcide as a teenager - Robert Patrick as his father - learning that the pack is more important than the individual.  Pointless now: Alcide goes to see his father, now a slovenly, drunken pack outcast.  A lone wolf, just like his son is now.

Sam and Luna tell Andy that they went back to the house Jessica had been held in and they picked up the scent of five or six people and also pigs.  When Andy blows them off, they shift into the form of flies so they can eavesdrop.  Andy and Jason poke around on the redneck vigilantes' website, watching the videos posted there, and finally figure out that Bud Dearborn is the vigilantes' leader.  Sam and Luna buzz away.  Andy and Jason rush out to Bud's house, but he's not there, but then Jason remembers that Bud's ex-wife's family owned a pig farm.  Out at said pig farm, Sweetie - who is the real leader of the vigilantes (as well as the Squaredancin' Champion of Louisiana) - and Bud force Sookie to drink some oxycontin-laced soda, knocking her loopy.

Arlene goes into work at Merlotte's where Patrick is lying in wait.  He makes her call the other staff to say that the restaurant is closed for the day.  Once it gets dark, Terry finally shows up.  Patrick has a gun to Arlene's head.  Terry proposes a fair fight between the two but Patrick's all, you're stronger and a better soldier, so no - either I kill you or I kill Arlene.  Terry drops to his knees and Patrick lets Arlene go, stepping up to his old friend.  With a shriek, Arlene stabs Patrick in the neck with a pencil and then Terry launches himself at Patrick.  They beat on each other until Arlene grabs Patrick's gun.  "Don't move, motherfucker, or I will blow your goddamn brains out!"

Back in New Orleans, blah blah blah Nora goes on and on about fucking Lilith to Eric, and Bill and Salome have sex, Bill hallucinating that she is Sookie, and then biting her, and then she changes to a bloody Lilith, and then back to Salome.  Yawn.

As Sweetie, Bud and the redneck vigilantes prepare to feed Sookie and Hoyt to the pigs, Sam suddenly shifts out of one of the pigs and administers a serious beat-down to the vigilantes.  Sweetie cuts and runs; a big dog chases her, shifting mid-leap into a naked Luna who tackles her and beats the living shit out of her.  Andy and Jason show up in time to help Sam, and end up shooting Bud.  Sookie (once again saved through no agency of her own) and Hoyt are okay.  Sam and Luna, happy at the evening's outcome, decide to go fetch Emma from Martha.

At Merlotte's, the Iraqi woman's spirit appears to a shaky Terry, encouraging him to do what's right.  Terry steels himself and shoots Patrick.  The woman's spirit is satisfied; the ifrit appears and engulfs Patrick's body and then disappears; Terry and Arlene clutch each other.

Things are hopping down in Fangtasia.  Pam (with terribly crimped hair - what are the costume designers doing to her this season?) sees a young Lestat-wannabe draining a human whilst sitting in Eric's throne.  She gets in his face but he puts her in her place, saying that the monarchs have lifted the ban on feeding off of humans, plus the Authority has named him Sheriff in Eric's place. Then he backhands her across the room before announcing to the room that humans are up for grabs.  He's absolutely awful.

As they walk through the Shreveport woods towards a barn, Russell waxes poetic about werewolves on V, while Steve muses that he's never had a pet.  Russell pats his cheek and tells the younger vampire to stick with him.  He throws open the barn door, surprising JD and his wolf pack, celebrating JD's victory over Alcide.  So Russell is JD's vampire source.  Russell sweeps in, congratulating JD on his new position, then biting his wrist and feeding the eager, greedy werewolves.  The vampires spy Martha holding puppy-Emma.  The older woman refuses to drink Russell's blood so Russell darts forward and snatches the puppy.  He hands her to Steve, who coos over his new pet.  Martha wails and JD comes forward, saying that Emma is part of their pack.  In an instant Russell's demeanor changes, his ostentatious Southern accent disappearing.  He grabs JD by the neck, growling, "Did you think my blood was free, you stupid, stupid dog?" before tossing him aside.  I love Russell but I really love scary Russell.

Eric manages to get Nora alone and knocks her out with an injection Molly provides.  He grabs her and he and Molly find Bill, and get ready to bolt.  But Bill, as I predicted, is a traitor, and arrives with Salome and a whole bunch of commandos.  There's nothing Eric can do.  As poor Molly watches, helpless, Eric retracts his fangs, hands the unconscious Nora over and submits to the commandos' handcuffs.  He doesn't even glare at Bill as he is led away.

Previously on True Blood / next time on True Blood

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