Thursday, September 14, 2017

Preacher recap S2E13 "The End of the Road" 9/11/17

Flashback.  Jesse Custer as a teenager, collecting money (and picking pockets) at the gate of Angelville, his family home, which does seances, Tarot card readings, divining and fortune telling, 'gator tours, finding lost pets, "gift shop closes at 5."  Around lunchtime, a truck comes out from the main house to give him his lunch and collect the morning's takings; when Jesse tries to hold out, one of the guys ("TC" and "Jody") grabs him and wrenches his arm.  After the truck returns to the main house, Jesse is so upset that he kills a friendly chicken that has been scratching around in the dirt.  He feels so badly about this that he runs back to the house and tearfully begs a woman - his grandmother, I presume - to make it right.  The woman reminds him that there is always a price for such a thing.  Jesse seems willing to pay it, whatever it is, as he gently lay the little carcass on the table in front of her.

Now.  Herr Starr has a plan in place to market Jesse as the new Messiah.  While Jesse isn't interested in wearing a fancy 11th century cloak, he is willing to give speeches in front of carefully selected groups.  In this case, a group of Catholic schoolkids.  When his speech is interrupted by "the Armenians" brandishing guns and knives, Jesse takes them all on.  First, he tries to use the Genesis Voice to get the men to drop their guns.  The Voice doesn't work - which takes him aback, and makes Starr raise an eyebrow - so he then resorts to fisticuffs.  Now, even though all the kids and nuns (and press, once notified) think he's a hero, the "Armenians'" guns were loaded with blanks and it was all arranged by Starr.  Jesse is displeased at being used but Starr is all, it went viral and now we're booked on Kimmel so this is how we get the word out about you.

In New Orleans, Featherstone and Hoover are packing up their apartment - they are no longer required to stake out the apartment since Jesse is on board.  Meanwhile, Cassidy is doing laundry (getting distracted by a thong of Tulip's in amongst his t-shirts).  When he puts away some of Dennis's clothes, he checks out a website on his son's laptop: it's a vampire site of sorts, with videos of screaming people.  He is transfixed for a moment before snapping out of it - it seems as though being good and not feeding on people is more difficult than he might have let on.  When Tulip comes back from shopping for their road trip to Bimini (lots of SPF100 and a value-sized jug of vodka), she sits beside him on the bed and talks to him about what's to come with the two of them.  It isn't clear that it's a fantasy until they start gettin' busy and Cassidy latches onto her neck, ripping out her throat with a big spurt of blood.  Seems as though Dennis's worse proclivities are getting into his father's head.  When Tulip REALLY comes back from shopping, she checks in on him and then goes to pack as he stares numbly out the window.  Something's gonna have to give here.

On the outskirts of Hell.  Eugene and Hitler run and run and run until they find themselves on the shore of a river.  Hitler tells Eugene to ask the ferryman (Charon) for passage out since he doesn't belong here, then get on the boat and cross over.  Eugene asks Hitler to come with him but the other man demurs.  A nervous Eugene approaches Charon who summons the boat and who generally seems like a nice guy.  So it's surprising when the Hell Administrator comes up to drag Eugene back to the cells and shoots Charon in the head with a (?) crossbow quarrel.  Then Hitler comes up behind her, knocks her out and clambers onto the boat with Eugene.  Blah blah blah  they get back to the world and when Eugene invites Hitler to come home with him and meet his dad, Hitler runs off and darts down an alleyway.  Because what this world needs now is Hitler on the loose.  Also, I am really not that interested in Eugene and Hitler's adventures.  I'm having a really hard time figuring out how this storyline connects with Jesse, Tulip, Cassidy et als.

New Orleans.  Tulip finishes packing (she packs pretty light) but on her way out to load the car, she notices one of the little spy cameras that the Grail installed in their apartment.  She shows it to Cassidy.  He wonders if they should tell Jesse but she's all, what difference would it make?  Tulip goes out to the car.  Cassidy grabs up the dog to leave but stops when Dennis finds Tulip's underwear in his room.  Dennis taunts him some and Cassidy is forced to admit that he doesn't think he can control himself with Dennis around.  So he pushes Dennis out the window, into the sunlight, and cowers inside as his vampire son dies a pretty horrible, burning death.  I'm not going to miss Dennis at all but that whole storyline just seemed a little pointless.

Cassidy and the dog join Tulip in the car, but then she gets out again and goes back inside to say goodbye to "Jenny," her only friend.  (After she goes, Cassidy lets the dog go.)  Jenny/Featherstone takes a few moments to get to the door and while she waiting, Tulip finds a trace of the same sticky gum that had been on that little spy camera.  When Jenny/Featherstone finally comes out, she's holding her revolver behind her back.  Tulip is also armed - but only with a screwdriver - and when the shit hits the fan, it's pretty obvious who's going down.

Jesse is about to board the Grail jet (to go to L.A., or wherever Kimmel is) when he gets a panicked call from Cassidy.  He rushes off - and Starr immediately gets on the phone to Featherstone and Hoover, calling them idiots and telling them to cancel the ambulance Cassidy has called.  Jesse gets back to the apartment to find Tulip bleeding out on the kitchen floor and Cassidy trying to save her.  The bullet went right through her and there is blood everywhere.  They can't stop the bleeding.  Cassidy begs Jesse to use the Voice and Jesse tries it, but it still isn't working.  A frantic Cassidy decides that the only way to save her is to turn her into a vampire but Jesse pulls him off her.  They fight, Cassidy nearly feral, as Tulip convulses and struggles to breathe.  Jesse holds Cassidy back and Tulip breathes her last as they watch.  Cassidy is all why? I could have saved her and she might not have been like Dennis.  Jesse, reluctantly, is all, there really is another way.

So then they are in Tulip's car, her lifeless body in the backseat, driving to Angelville.  The fear and sadness on Jesse's face is palpable.  Cassidy can't believe that Jesse let her die and says, "There's something I want to say.  Something I been meaning to tell you for a long time.  I hate you."  Jesse all but rolls his eyes: "You hate me now?  Just you wait."  And as they turn down the L'Angell driveway, that damn chicken runs across the road.

The tag: God is still alive, in a hotel room somewhere, jazz on the radio, dog costume hanging up, beer cans and pill bottles strewn across the rumpled bed.  We don't get to see Him, but when the toilet flushes and the bathroom door opens, the room is flooded with glory and light.

Previously on Preacher / next time on Preacher

Wednesday, September 6, 2017

Preacher recap S2E12 "On Your Knees" 9/4/17

We start off back in Hell, where Eugene and Hitler have landed in the Hole.  As they go into another running of Eugene's personal hell, Hitler reminds him that he has to work his way out of it so they can get out the back door.  They run through a couple of iterations - Eugene kissing Tracy and her shooting herself; Eugene turning her down and her shooting herself; the two of them agreeing to just be friends, Tracy asking to see his penis and then her shooting herself - before Eugene figures it out and gets through a scenario that doesn't end with her shooting herself.  Hitler tries to open the bedroom window but it's still stuck, so Eugene hasn't worked through everything yet.  Next: Eugene's scout leader in a furry mascot suit (who apparently abused Eugene on a camping trip (unnecessary) so Eugene shoots him); and then Eugene's dad (with a ass-face from shooting himself).  When Eugene and his dad work through their shit and tell each other "I love you," Hitler finally can get the window open and he and Eugene scarper.  I'm just really not sure how all this Eugene in Hell with Hitler stuff fits in with the larger Preacher story.

Back in Louisiana, we spend a couple of weeks with the Saint of Killers as he's stuck in that truck at the bottom of the Angelville swamp.  In flashback, we get to see him happy with his wife and child, then their deaths that sent him over the edge, etc. etc.  In the now, eventually, the Grail hauls the truck out of the swamp - replacing it with an empty one which Jesse and Tulip found last episode - and takes it to an empty warehouse.  Hoover is in charge and he leaves the Saint in there for another week, until the killer is willing to listen.  The Grail says they can't get him what he wants (entry to Heaven for eternity with his wife and daughter) but he agrees to work with them anyway.

In the New Orleans apartment, Cassidy finds Dennis poking around in his bedroom, looking for something.  The older vampire kicks his son out, then opens the wardrobe, where he has hidden the chihuahua puppy.  He gives the puppy an ear rub and tells him he'll be safe there.  I knew Dennis would want to eat that dog!  Cassidy wanders out to the kitchen where (1) Tulip is moping about Jesse and (2) Featherstone and Hoover are watching them - bored - over the CCTV.  Cassidy and Tulip are developing a nice rapport, giving each other massive amounts of shit, although Cassidy does get a little distracted by the pulse of blood coursing through the vein in her neck.  Jesse finally comes back.  He doesn't want to talk about the search for God but he's looking for a drink.  Luckily, Cassidy has a homemade "potash" in his room.

The boys head to Cassidy's room while Tulip takes out the trash.  On her way back down the hall, the Saint shows up.  She quakes for a moment then regains her mojo and launches herself at him.  Unfazed, he swats her away, knocking her into the wall and knocking her out.  The Saint stalks through the apartment (you can hear Cassidy and Jesse talking from a couple rooms away), pausing to pick a knife out of a kitchen cabinet.  He takes a smaller one than you might expect.  He pulls down a blind, then stands in the shadows, observing his quarry.  Music is coming from Dennis's room, however, and he goes to investigate.

On the balcony outside Cassidy's room, the boys are sipping at a bright green concoction in a mason jar.  Jesse chokes down a mouthful, spluttering.  Cassidy: "What? Too much Neosporin?"  Heh.  They decide to switch to beer and go back into the apartment.  Jesse notices the adjusted blind.  Behind him, Cassidy squeals as he gets tossed down the hallway.  The Saint comes in and confronts Jesse but when Jesse tries to use the Genesis Voice on him, it doesn't work for some reason.  Cassidy attacks the Saint from behind and the killer nonchalantly throws him headfirst into the built-in bookcase.  Jesse holds his own for a while with some fisticuffs, then a reawakened Tulip goes after him with a fireplace poker.  He tosses her aside again, grabs Jesse and forces him to his knees.  The Saint is just about to scalp Jesse - yikes! - when the cavalry arrives.  It's the administrators from Hell, called in by Herr Starr, and here to take the Saint back to his Hell cell.  He doesn't put up a fight because they tell him his cell is empty and must be filled - if not by him, then perhaps by his wife or daughter.  "You can't do that," he growls but the administrator shrugs: "God is gone.  Who's gonna stop me?"

As the Hell wagon drives off with the Saint, Tulip and Cassidy go off to the hospital in an ambulance.  But the logo on the ambulance reads A DIVISION OF GRAIL INDUSTRIES and it takes them to Starr's office instead.  Starr tells him the situation: Jesse is in position to become the Messiah and they're just holding him back.  "Given that the fate of the universe is at stake, how shall we proceed?" he wants to know.

On t.v., the Pope tells the faithful that God is gone, really gone.  But the Messiah, or a reasonable facsimile thereof, is poised to step up.  Jesse shuts off the television and when Tulip and Cassidy get back, with WTF looks on their faces, asks them if they want to go get breakfast.

They go to a diner and after Cassidy spins some yarn about seeing a unicorn, they get down to asking Jesse WTF.  The problem is, Jesse thinks he can do it, thinks he can be the Messiah.  And Cassidy is all, I'm not really down with this - following you around and being all glory to Lord Jesse and all does not sound that fun.  Tulip is biting her tongue but can't stop rolling her eyes.  She looks at him sadly.  "I love you, Jesse, 'til the end of the world.  But you gotta be honest with me.  What do you need us for?"  And he can't answer her.

As the Saint walks into his Hell cell, he tells the administrator, "Tell Satan I want a word."  She replies, "He'll want a word with you as well."  So that could be fun!

Jesse leaves the diner - Tulip and Cassidy already long gone - and goes to Starr's office.  He asks Starr what happens next.  Starr gets up from behind his desk and kneels at Jesse's feet, placing the preacher's hand on his bald head in benediction.  Oh, that's just going to feed Jesse's ego big time.

Previously on Preacher / next time on Preacher

Thursday, August 31, 2017

Preacher recap S2E11 "Backdoors" 8/28/17

Flashback - Out in a swamp somewhere, a wooden box is being hauled to the surface.  When the box is set on the dock, it is opened and young Jesse is dragged out, blinking, sweating, dazed.  An old woman - her face obscured - asks the boy his name.  When he says "Jesse Custer," she tells her henchmen to "Put him back."  The men shove Jesse back in the box, fastening the lid down while he screams and pleads.  And then they put that wooden box back down into the swamp.  Guess it's more waterproof than I thought at first glance.

 Now - Out in a swamp somewhere, Tulip has forced Jesse to raise the truck in which he trapped the Saint of Killers.  She's pissed and a little frightened, but she seems to accept Jesse's explanation that he just couldn't send another soul to Hell.  Here's the problem:  when Jesse opens the truck up, the Saint is not inside.

Meanwhile, at Grail HQ, Featherstone and Hoover report to Starr the Jesse and Tulip goings-on, since he has tasked them with splitting the pair up.  Featherstone thinks that it would just be quicker if they could kill Jesse.  Starr explains his plan for the preacher - "The Messiah is a moron.  I understand that you might find this disappointing." - and says he wants them to join him.  Which, considering the alternative is summary execution, they do.

Hell - The administration is [ahem] administering tests to find out which of the inmates isn't supposed to be in Hell.  After his test, the fratboy is confident that he's going to be let out and he makes Eugene force Hitler to show them his worst memory-hell.  Hitler apparently used to be custodian in Hell and kept a key (keeps it up his butt, actually) and with a convenient distraction, the three of them sneak back into Hitler's cell.  When the memory-hell starts up, it's pretty banal: the restaurant is out of plum cake which Hitler finds disappointing; the art gallery owner says Hitler's paintings are mediocre; and his girl leaves him.  Afterwards, the fratboy is all, "They ran out of plum cake and you blew up Europe?"  But Hitler explains that that was the last day he was a good man and thus, that is his worst memory.

New Orleans - Cassidy has gotten Dennis a chihuahua (and I spent the whole episode waiting for Dennis to snap its neck or drink its blood, because Dennis is kind of an asshole, but he doesn't).  Cassidy and Tulip are fretting that the Saint is coming back after them and shouldn't they maybe leave or double-bolt the door or something.  Jesse's all, he's coming for me and I'll take care of it.  But it's been stressful and maybe they should get out of town for a while.  Cassidy suggests Vancouver: "It's got good meth and nice hiking."  Jesse's like, I saw this place on Youtube - it's got catamarans and topless beaches ... and Tulip and Cassidy are all SOLD.  They jump up to start packing but then Jesse puts the brakes on because "we've got to find God first."  The other two are like, nope, done that, we've looked.  Jesse breaks in and is all, "Guys, I met Jesus."  Cassidy: "Do you mean Jesus-Jesus or just some random Latino guy?"  Jesse explains that JC's twenty-fifth great-grandson is a complete imbecile and God is necessary and if they weren't so selfish, they'd want to find him too.  Tulip gets PISSED because they've pretty much done everything what Jesse wanted them to do since Texas.  Everyone is shouting at each other and in the other room, Dennis's dog is barking its little head off.  Jesse storms into Dennis's room and stares at the dog, and then he remembers the Messiah's drawings of a black and white dog, and then he remembers the dude in the dog suit and it comes to him.  The dude in the dog suit is God.  Tulip and Cassidy just stare at him and he's like, "You're not going to come with me?"  They're like, nope.  So he rushes across town, into the club, through the kitchen, down the stairs, across the alleyway and into the basement where the dude in the dog suit had been.  But the dude in the dog suit isn't there now.

Hell - Later on, as Hitler mopes on his bunk, Eugene asks Hitler if he's still willing to help him escape.  Hitler: "You trust me?"  When Eugene is called for his screening, Hitler says that he'll come for him and they'll go out through the back door, a secret door.  After the administrators have taken Eugene away, Hitler gets the attention of the other detainees, saying that he needs them to do something for him.  Fratboy is all, why would we do anything for you, plum cake? And everyone giggles.  "Because I'm ADOLF FUCKING HITLER!"

New Orleans - Jesse is at a loss and goes to see Starr to see if he's got any information.  Even when he uses the Genesis Voice, Starr doesn't know where God is right now.  But as part of his campaign to win Jesse over, he has procured Heaven's tape backups of all Jesse's prayers all his life.  And we listen to them, a lifelong litany of asking for forgiveness for smoking, drinking, wanking, blasphemy, losing his temper, falling asleep in church, fighting, disbelief, shirking chores, "shooting a komodo dragon," thieving, lying, cheating and, once or twice, wishing for his dad to be killed.

Meanwhile, Tulip has enlisted "Jenny"/Featherstone to help her get rid of the Saint's pistols and saber.  They go to a metal smelter to melt it all down (learning in the process that no one except the Saint can fire or unload those guns).  While they wait, Jenny/Featherstone continues to wage her campaign to break Tulip and Jesse up.  It doesn't seem to be working, at least not quickly.  The smelter dude calls them back in: the smelting equipment is over 4,000 degrees and the Saint's weapons haven't even warmed up, much less melted away.  So Tulip wraps them up, puts a bunch of postage on them and shoves them in a mailbox, addressed to Brazil.  I'm going to guess that's not going to work.

Hell - The administrators are called out of Eugene's screening because all the detainees are holding hands and singing "Michael Row Your Boat Ashore."  Hitler finds Eugene and opens the door to the Hole, saying that's the way out.  Eugene is too afraid and Hitler reassures him that he'll be behind him every step of the way.  He then shoves Eugene into the Hole and for a moment it seems like a double-cross.  But then Hitler jumps in after him.

Back at the Grail, Starr stops the tape of Jesse's prayers and scoffs that there's pretty much no way to get off the hook for all that.  "If you want to save your soul, you need to do something big.  You need to join me."  Starr then plays him the last one and it's back to that swamp box flashback: the old lady pulls Jesse out of the box and asks him his name again.  The boy is defeated now and answers: "Jesse.  Jesse L'Angell."  The old lady - her face still obscured - tells him he's a good boy.  But he's not done and she prompts him to finish: "Thank you God for killin' my father and bringin' me home."  The old lady pats his head and tells him, "Your grandma loves you."  And the camera pulls back to reveal a sign ANGELVILLE GATOR TOURS.  Yeesh.  No wonder that Angelville poster gave him the wiggins a couple of episodes ago.

In the now again, Starr offers to make copies of the prayers for Jesse, if he'd like to take them.  Jesse says no, thank you, but why don't you SHOVE THEM UP YOUR ASS.  He walks out and tells the office staff to LET ME OUT.  The Genesis Voice doesn't seem to work, however, so he repeats the command - twice, before they open the doors for him.  That doesn't bode well - why didn't it work?

After Jesse has gone, Starr gets on the phone with Hoover telling him that he's up, and nothing less than the eternal dignity of the Grail is at stake.  Of course, he's bent over his desk, shoving the unspooled prayer tapes literally up his ass at the same time.

Out in a warehouse somewhere, Hoover's voice comes out of an armored truck, one that looks like the one Jesse sunk into the Angelville swamp.  Hoover says: "I'm glad we could come to this understanding.  Now, just do what you do."  Then the truck doors swing open.  Hoover hops out and runs away, as fast as he can, not looking back.

Previously on Preacher / next time on Preacher

Thursday, August 24, 2017

Preacher recap S2E10 "Dirty Little Secret" 8/21/17

Jesus.  Hey! It's Jesus, earlier in the night that Judas betrays him, having raucous sex with a married woman.  She is really, really into it and he's pretty stoked too, since it's his first time and all.  When it's over finally, he gets dressed and tells her that he loves her.  She's all, ????? but it's because he's Jesus and he loves everyone.  The disciples collect him at the door and they go off, unfortunately never to make it to the getaway donkeys.  One disciple knows what's up, however, and gives the woman a knowing look; nine months later, that guy (Thaddeus?) is back to whisk away Christ's child.  He has the woman killed, right there in her bed, so she can't tell anyone and thus the company to be known as The Grail comes into being.

Jesse.  In the here and now, Starr is actually being very reasonable while talking to Jesse in the bar.  He explains what The Grail is, roughly speaking, and brings out a couple of three-ring binders for Jesse to look at.  Jesse is not interested in binders (whacking Starr upside the head with one and bloodying his nose) and uses the Voice to ask WHERE IS GOD?  Starr answers honestly - because he has to - that he doesn't know.  But he suggests that maybe Jesse would want to come with him to HQ and maybe they could get some more answers there.  So Jesse agrees to a bag over his head and they go to The Grail HQ, where the Pope and the Archibishop of Canterbury are waiting for them in Starr's office.  Jesse is, to his credit, slightly taken aback.  Recovering somewhat, he asks the two august gentlemen [close-minded white patriarchs...] where God is.  They don't know but have some ridiculous theories about it: the Archbishop thinks a traitorous cabal of angels have betrayed God, who is now on the run; on the other hand, the Pope scoffs, saying that God has given up on humans because we have failed Him (like he gave up on the dinosaurs, when they failed Him) and is in the process of creating a new ten-foot tall species .... Jesse's all, you all have no fucking clue, do you?  The pope also let slips that maybe "the boy" might know where God is - and maybe it's time for him to lead.

But he was paying attention and asks Starr, what did the Pope mean, "the boy?" Starr is all, you weren't supposed to hear that but he's the Messiah.  Jesse: *...*  Also, Jesse is like, maybe this Jesus descendant knows where God is.  Starr equivocates so Jesse uses the Voice: TAKE ME TO HIM.  And Starr does - because he has to.  Planes, trains and automobiles later, they get to where the Messiah is being kept safe.  Jesse is surprised and horrified to learn that this twenty-fifth great-grandson of Jesus Christ is, in fact, an inbred moron who pees on the people he likes, flashes his peepee at guests and was filling a notepad with roughly-drawn pictures of a black and white dog,* while Jesse pages through while the Messiah is patting Starr's bald head.  Jesse tries using the Voice to ask the Messiah where God is and the moron wails and cries and it doesn't go well.

*  We're all now certain that the dude in the dog suit from E3 is God, right?  Yes, I think I neglected to mention that scene when I was recapping because it seemed like a throwaway.  My bad.

They go back to New Orleans and Jesse's all, well, you weren't any help but I'm still going to look for God.  Starr says he can't do it by himself and Jesse's all, I got friends.  Starr thinks: For now, anyway.  Starr points out that they're all fucked if the world ends and God is still missing and the Messiah won't be any use.  So maybe Jesse should team up with him, use the power of Genesis and basically be God himself and bring some order to this shit-stained world.  "Why go on looking for God when you can just be him."  Jesse, scandalized: That's blasphemy!  Starr: Semantics.

Cassidy.  Cassidy is celebrating Dennis's birthday with hookers and video games and umbrellas so they can go out without being burnt up by the sun.  But Dennis is a young vampire and pretty much unable/unwilling to control the impulse to drink human blood, no matter how much Cassidy tells him not to.  At the end of the episode, Dennis wanders back to the apartment, face and neck drenched in a victim's blood.  Before this season is over, Cassidy is going to have to deal with that.

Tulip.  Tulip is still struggling with her Saint PTSD.  When Featherstone shows up at the apartment in her "Jenny" guise for some girl-bonding, she is able to manipulate the distracted Tulip, pushing her to distrust Jesse about whether he really sent the Saint back to Hell.  This is Starr's plan, you see, to isolate Jesse so he has to turn to Starr.  It does seem a little uncharacteristic for Tulip to be so easily manipulated - she's usually such an unflappable badass - but I suppose they're using this to show how much damage the Saint can do.  Featherstone has Hoover pose as "Jenny's" abusive and alcoholic boyfriend and the girls get into a little scuffle with him.  Featherstone gets a cut on her face and Tulip takes her into the bathroom for bandaging.  Featherstone notes that loose tile (which she already knows is Jesse's hiding spot for the Saint's weapons because of the surveillance cameras) and suggests that Tulip should fix it since she's so handy.

Later, Tulip decides to fix that tile.  She pulls it up and then reaches down inside, under the floorboards.  Her face falls when she realizes what's hidden there.  She's sitting at the kitchen table, the Saint's two revolvers and the saber laid out in front of her, staring at the front door, waiting for Jesse to get back.  He's gonna have some 'splainin' to do.

Previously on Preacher / next time on Preacher

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Preacher recap S2E9 "Puzzle Piece" 8/14/17

Herr Starr's office is readied for him, the file marked "Jesse Custer" placed in his in-box.

We get a flashback to when Jesse's dad was shot in front of him and then it's straight to now in New Orleans, Jesse struggling with that remembrance.  He's also struggling with his search for God and has been reduced to checking on "sightings of God" videos on YouTube.  Like, faces on toast and whatnot.  Cassidy gives him a little bit of a hard time as he heats up some frozen blood on the stove.  He remarks that Dennis is feeling better, didn't need Jesse's help after all, but Jesse isn't really listening.  Tulip straggles in, bruises from another round at the Hurt Locker spreading up her chest, a big wad of cash in her hand.  She is ragged and she shrieks at Jesse when he suggests that she get some sleep.  So he uses the Voice on her - "SLEEP" - and she collapses into his arms.  "She was tired," says Jesse when Cassidy raises an eyebrow.

Meanwhile, the Grail teams is observing on CCTV.  Herr Starr is bored - "What kind of a world is it when a woman obeying a man is seen as a superpower?" - and late for a date, so he tells his team ("Jenny" and her pudgy partner) to just kill them all.  So a white-suited strike team is sent in, wearing night vision goggles and ear protection.  The insertion is cool, filmed first-person POV via the team member's cameras (like Aliens), and there's no sound other than what comes over their comm system.  They get into the apartment and Cassidy immediately attacks them.  While the vampire keeps five or so of them busy, the last team member searches the apartment, shooting Dennis in bed before tangling with Jesse.  There are fisticuffs until Jesse is able to rip the guy's ear protection off.  The preacher uses the Voice to tell the guy to shoot his remaining friends.  But then, just as Jesse is about to question the last team member, Dennis tackles him and bites his throat out.  Guess that answers that.

On Herr Starr's creepy date (with the governor's daughter, no less), he admits to some ennui with his current situation.  She tries to connect with him, saying that she too had some dissatisfaction, like being a puzzle with a missing piece.  But when she relays the cliche that was her missing puzzle piece, Starr is unimpressed.  He instructs her to stand up, take her top off and tuck a stick of butter under her chin.  (For some reason, she does all this without seeming too discomfited.)  Thankfully, before this date can go any further, Starr gets a message about the strike team's failure against the preacher.  He leaves, the governor's daughter still standing there.

At Starr's office, a tarp is laid out and Starr prepares to shoot "Jenny" (whose name is Featherstone) and her partner Hoover.  His gun jams though so Featherstone offers to fix the gun for him, which she does, while offering an alternative scenario to getting at Jesse.  She thinks they should activate Brad.  Starr is intrigued by this.  He also has an ongoing rape fantasy so Featherstone says she'll get Brad going while Hoover sets up the fantasy scenario.  "One of those no-means-yes things."  Yuck.  Starr is amenable but says he's going to leave the tarp out in case they fail again.

Back at the apartment, Tulip, under the Voice's command, slept through the attack last night so when she gets up in the morning, she is surprised to find six bodies and a bunch of police in the kitchen.  Jesse has commandeered the police using the Voice to try to find out who the team was and also to set up protection. "YOU WORK FOR ME NOW."

Featherstone and Hoover are back in the apartment down the hall.  She calls Starr to report that Brad is in transit and to suggest that Starr might like multiple prostitutes.  He concurs and then hangs up the phone to watch the CCTV footage, focusing on Jesse exclaiming that God is missing and without God, there's no structure.  Starr is intrigued where he wasn't before and starts paging through Jesse's file.

Dennis pours a mug of warm blood for Cassidy, who was fairly severely wounded in the fight against the strike team.  When Dennis inadvertently burns himself in the sunlight coming through the window, Cassidy comforts him and give his son some blood to drink as well, cautioning that this is the only time he's to drink human blood.  (What are the chances that Dennis, as a baby vampire, will heed that warning?)  Jesse comes in and asks Cassidy why he didn't tell him he'd turned Dennis.  Cassidy asks if Jesse would have been cool with that and Jesse is all, yes, of course.  Jesse says that the men in white will be back, probably tonight, so they've got to get ready.  Cassidy assures him that despite only having half an intestine and no liver currently, he'll be good to go.  But he's not who Jesse should be worried about.

So Jesse takes the hint and goes to talk to Tulip.  She does seem better for having gotten some sleep, although she is sad that he used the Voice on her.  But what seems to make her better than anything else, Jesse reminds her, is getting into a fight.  And since he thinks the men in white are coming back, he's got a fight for her.  She's like, okay, but I need a gun.  And where does she go to get said gun?  Right down the hall to "Jenny's" apartment.  While Hoover, who is on the phone with the hooker service, hides in the bathroom, Featherstone jams the Jenny wig on quickly and answers the door.  She gives Tulip her gun and says to let her know if she needs help.  When Tulip is gone, Hoover's all, now she's armed.  Featherstone: "A gun's not going to stop Brad."

As night falls, Jesse starts to get anxious.  The cleaner that Jesse had asked the cops to bring in has showed up to work on the kitchen; the cops are in their perimeter positions, checking in; Cassidy is pounding blood to speed up the healing.  And Dennis has picked right this moment to crank up the old timey French music and dance around his room.  No one can hear anything over the music and the cleaner is starting to look a little squirrelly.  Outside, a huge, half-naked man in a mask - Brad? is that you? - has approached one of the cops.  As the music swells, shouts of "Officer down!" as the other cops converge.  Jesse's all, "They're here! Don't shoot - I need one alive!" and rushes out of the apartment.  He's but halfway down the stairs when he hears a shot from behind him in the apartment.
When he goes back inside, Tulip has shot the cleaner.  She thought he had a gun (spray bottle of cleaning fluid).  Oops.  And outside, the cops have determined that the naked man in the mask was just a drunk.  They call an ambulance and try to regroup.

That'll be tough because Brad is actually B.R.A.D.: a Battle-ready Remote-operated Aerial Drone.  Yeah, a gun's not going to stop B.R.A.D.

As the drone approaches New Orleans, the prostitutes show up at Starr's office.  But Hoover has made a mistake and hired three men, not three women.  But these guys are professionals and have their instructions: "No means yes."  So Starr resignedly gets bent over his desk.  But as all that is going on, he catches sight of the Jesse Custer file and exclaims, "The missing puzzle piece!"  When it is over, he calls Featherstone and tells her to call the drone off.  It's close but she manages to reroute it - sending it to Harry Connick, Jr.'s house instead.  Heh.

ONE WEEK LATER.  Everyone is looking a little bedraggled since that strike that Jesse was sure of still hasn't showed up.  He releases his team of cops from their duty, instructing them to forget any of this ever happened.  Then he goes to a bar.  Which is where Starr finds him.  The German puts down a drink and tells Jesse that he came alone.  He introduces himself and says that he's heard Jesse has been looking for God.  "Perhaps I can help."

Previously on Preacher / next time on Preacher

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Preacher recap "Holes" S2E8 8/7/17

In which Cassidy becomes the most interesting character on this show.

Hell.  Eugene is determined to prove that he is not a nice guy because, as y'all might remember, nice guys finish last (and get punished) in Hell.  He's still in that holding cell with the rest of them.  Other interesting tidbits from Hell:  all the candy bars in vending machines are Zagnuts and toilet paper is duct tape.  Fun!  As it turns out, the reason the individual cell mechanisms are glitching is because the system is overloading due to someone being in Hell who isn't meant to be there.  The commandant is determined to find out who it is.  Because he still feels so guilty for what happened to Tracy, Eugene doesn't admit that it's him.  Hitler isn't buying his act, though, and after Eugene gets tossed in the Pit  for a while (where his personal hell is exacerbated to include Tracy, alive, but giving Jesse Custer a handjob while Eugene watches), Hitler tells him that he wants to help Eugene escape.

1946.  Daylight.  A not-yet vampiric Cassidy croons an Irish lullaby to his newborn son Dennis.

Now.  Dennis's insides appear to be liquefying.  Cassidy tries to help his dying son but all Dennis wants is for his father to turn him into a vampire, thus saving him.  Cassidy won't do it.  He goes into the kitchen and finds Tulip there, trying to stay awake so she won't have nightmares about the Saint of Killers.  She tries to get him to go out with her but he thinks he should stay with Dennis.  And Jesse is asleep, needing rest since he's full-on searching for God in the morning.  Tulip shrugs and then sneaks out, ostensibly back to the Hurt Locker.

In the morning, as Jesse dresses for his day, we see that Dennis's apartment has been bugged: the fake lounge singer lady and her pudgy partner - Grail operatives - have set up down the hall, doing surveillance until Herr Starr joins them.  Back in Dennis's apartment, just before Jesse heads out, Cassidy asks him if he might be willing to use the Genesis Voice on Dennis.  Jesse is taken aback and says no, he doesn't think that would work, plus he doesn't think that's what it's for.  To his credit, Cassidy just nods - and doesn't retort that maybe taking down a whole household of New Orleans gangsters because he's jealous over his girlfriend's husband isn't really what Genesis is for either.  (I'm not sure I would have had such restraint.)  Jesse runs into Tulip coming in as he is going out.  She is in rough shape, a shadow of her former self, but the two of them just can't seem to communicate with each other.  Jesse tells her that he's off to a Best Buy knockoff, taking the shooting fake God video with him to see if the techs can zoom in on the gun's serial numbers.  Tulip thinks for a moment and then goes with him.

At the "Dork Docs" counter, the guys take the DVD and start to see what they can do.  Tulip has wandered off and Jesse finds her purchasing a new fridge - to replace the one in Dennis's apartment that was plugged by the Saint's bullet.  While Jesse stays to wait for his video, she returns to the apartment to accept for the fridge delivery.  Cassidy is tending to Dennis, who is getting worse and worse.  He asks Tulip what she thinks about his being a vampire, the living forever bit.  She shrugs, saying that the whole not-dying thing is pretty handy.  Cassidy runs through the counterarguments: no more sunlight, boredom, outliving everyone you ever cared for.  Tulip: "Yep. That sucks."  Later, as Cassidy cleans Dennis up, his son pleads, in English, "Papa.  Papa, please."  Cassidy hangs his head.

Back at the tech counter, the dork docs confirm that there's no way the serial numbers can be read: they think Jesse is the shooter and doesn't want to be identified.  He explains that he does, in fact, want to identify the shooter so they try some other techniques.  But no, there's nothing.  Jesse gets angry and shouts that he's just trying to find God!  And the dorks are all, whoa, dude, chill out.  Frustrated, Jesse stomps off and the dorks put the DVD in the shredder.  As the disk goes down, we see "PROPERTY OF GRAIL INDUSTRIES" stamped into the plastic.  Too bad Jesse didn't notice that.

In the apartment, Tulip pushes the new refrigerator to one side and looks through the bullet hole in the wall.  Bothered by the hole, she patches it and plasters over the patch.  Then she goes into the next apartment and patches those holes.  When she goes to the apartment at the end of the hall, she is surprised to find the door locked.  That's the Grail operatives' apartment, you see, and they have to scurry to hide their equipment before "Jenny," a new tenant who is on the run from her abusive ex, opens the door.  "Jenny" lets Tulip in.  Tulip patches the bullet hole.  They talk a little and then, just as she's leaving, Tulip asks if she's ever strapped on a bullet-proof vest and gotten shot in the chest.  "Jenny" is all, "I can't say that I have ... it sounds fun."  Tulip:  "It is! We should go sometime."

Meanwhile, Cassidy is on the phone with "Seamus."  Seems like this Seamus is another vampire but it's never said.  Cassidy tells Seamus that he has a son who is dying.  Seamus asks what he's like, what his prevailing temperament is.  When Cassidy isn't that forthcoming (because he doesn't know), Seamus says, "Don't do it.  Let him die."  Cassidy hangs up the phone and goes into Dennis's bedroom.  He walks slowly towards the bed, singing that lullaby.  Dennis opens his eyes, gasping for breath.  Cassidy stares at his dying son, serious, intense, more than a little sinister.  Is he going to save Dennis or is he going to put him out of his misery?  That appears to be the question.

Previously on Preacher / next time on Preacher

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Preacher recap "Pig" S2E7 7/31/17

Vietnam.  Nighttime.  In a village.  An adorable and very fat pig snuffles around.  In a house, a couple eats dinner.  The wife looks out the window and screams.  In the morning, a one-eyed man in a white suit has arrived in Vietnam.  (Remember the first time we saw him?  His name is Herr Starr and on his desk were several files, one labeled "Jesse Custer" and one labeled "Pig.")  Starr walks to the center of the village where a huge crowd is gathered.  Some people are on their knees, praying; American tourists are taking cellphone videos.  Why?  That adorable and very fat pig is levitating, floating a couple of feet off the ground.

New Orleans.  As the night bleeds into morning, two carts make the rounds in the French Quarter: one is labeled DRUNK and one is labeled DEAD.  The drivers stop whenever they see a body lying on the ground.  They zap the body with a cattle prod.  If the body flinches and whimpers, it gets tossed onto DRUNK.  If not, it gets tossed onto DEAD.  Meanwhile, Jesse, Tulip and Cassidy (and Dennis, who is coughing and bitching en Francais per usual) have just finished checking out THE LAST JAZZ CLUB IN NEW ORLEANS (according to the title card).  They still haven't found God and Jesse is getting discouraged.  He glumly stares at a crazy person on the corner, shouting about the end of the world.  But Cassidy is all, there is more to do in this city!

Cassidy, by the way, is wearing a very excellent corgi t-shirt.

So, they go to The Hurt Locker, a club Cassidy knows about where you wear a bullet-proof vest and rednecks shoot you and if you can get back up after it, you win a lot of money.  Tulip, Cassidy and Jesse run a clever (and funny) little scam, fleecing all the rednecks and drinking all their booze.  Tulip appears to be self-medicating.  She isn't sleeping - having horrible nightmares about the Saint of Killers - and drinks to keep the PTSD away.  She and Jesse snipe at each other for a while but then get past it and go home, leaving Cassidy behind.  Dennis is trying to talk to him but Cassidy doesn't understand a word.  A plot device dude at the bar/French professor translates: Dennis is dying and wants Cassidy to save him.  As in, Dennis wants his vampire father to make him into a vampire to save his life.  Cassidy is horrified and refuses and Dennis sulks and continues to die by inches.  Later that night, Cassidy is passed out after an entire bottle of Armagnac and when the cattle prod doesn't produce a response (vampire = no vital signs), he gets dumped on the DEAD cart and locked in a morgue drawer.  "Shite.  Not again." - when he finally wakes up.

Vietnam.  Starr figures out what he's going to do to deal with this miraculous pig.

2004.  We get to see how Starr auditioned for his current position.  He is a horrible person who is fascinating and entertaining to watch without being at all an attractive (in all senses of the word) character.  Self-serving, efficient, ruthless.  These scenes are funny - a series of varied tests and tasks - but I'm not going to recap them.  Suffice it to say, Starr is perfectly suited for this job: he works for the Samson division of the Grail, which division cleanses the earth of false prophets so that when the true descendant of Jesus Christ (who is living, hidden away and protected by Grail men with machine guns) is revealed after the end of the world, there will be no competition.

New Orleans.  In the morning, Tulip is struggling with her dealings with the Saint.  She does point out that Jesse was late and the Saint almost killed her - would have killed her had Cassidy not stepped in.  Jesse (with a bit of a pout) says that he did have his hands full himself but he did get back and stopped it.  Tulip:  Don't you feel it?  That something's not right?  But Jesse can't.  She's been touched by the Saint and damaged somehow; Jesse gave up 1% of his soul and now he's damaged too.  And this damage is keeping the two of them from connecting with each other.

Jesse goes out and find that crazy end-of-the-worlder and talks with him for a while.  I'm not sure why we're spending so much time with this random dude - do you suppose he turns out to be God in a couple of episodes?  By the end of the conversation, Jesse works up enough courage to ask the guy if giving up even a tiny part of your soul to help someone is a good thing to do.  The guy is pretty much, NOPE.  Meanwhile, Tulip is searching for a way to get back to herself.  She goes back to the Hurt Locker, tells the rednecks that she ripped them all off.  And then she asks them who has the balls to earn their money back.  She straps on a bulletproof vest and the first shot sends her flying.  The rednecks gleefully count out the seconds - and are stunned into silence when she gets back on her feet in six seconds.  "Again," she says, a tiny glimmer coming back into her eyes.

Vietnam.  Starr takes a phone call, accepting his next assignment: New Orleans and Jesse Custer.  He's solved the floating pig problem, you see, by poisoning the village well and killing not only the adorable pig but also all the villagers.  Yeesh.

Previously on Preacher / next time on Preacher

Thursday, July 27, 2017

Preacher recap "Sokosha" S2E6 7/24/17

A polite business man ("Ando," from Heroes) negotiates with a middle-aged couple: the price is per unit, but if you go above 10%, you double your money.  He says that the procedure doesn't hurt but some people do experience some side effects.  "Trust me," he says, "You won't even miss it."  The man lies down on the couch; Ando gets out his machine and feeds a syringe into the man's leg.  Using an arthroscopic (?) camera, he feeds the tube up into the man's body and then extracts - something.  When the counter hits 15%, the extraction stops and a tiny bit of pale liquid halfway filled a small test tube.  After giving the man a sedative, Ando gives the wife a check for $150,000, packs up in a high-tech armored van and drives away with two armed guards watching over him.  Their next stop is a New Orleans mansion [the one that featured in American Horror Story: Coven, I believe.] An older man meets Ando at the door, fretting, having second thoughts.  But his wife is walking around the house pantsless with a vacant look on face.  Those second thoughts are vanished.  Ando uses a personal item of the wife's to determine a match, then uses a centrifuge to turn a vial of that pale liquid into a little pill.  The wife takes the pill and immediately comes back to herself.  The husband hands over his credit card - $2,700,000 - and the deal is done.  Ando goes back to the armored van - which is full, floor to ceiling, with those tiny vials, and the guards drive away.

Jesse steps out of the shower and smiles at himself in the foggy mirror.  It's a new day.  Time to go find God.  As Tulip puts together a horrifically sweet breakfast (pancakes with hot fudge, whipped cream, marshmallows and candies and syrup), Cassidy hears Dennis coughing and tries to help him get dressed.  The old man shouts at him in French and storms out.  As Jesse and Cassidy sit down at the kitchen table, Cassidy apologizes for being a bastard yesterday.  But when he asks Jesse if Jesse has anything to say to him, the preacher is all just, "You're forgiven," which is not exactly what the vampire was hoping to hear.  But they all tuck into breakfast, laughing and giving each other a hard time and discussing how best to find God.

Out in the hall, however, Viktor's daughter has brought the Saint of Killers to Dennis's apartment building.  She can't remember exactly which apartment is was, however, so when the Saint starts in on the far end of the hall, she skedaddles.  The Saint works his way through the apartments, firing one shot - which goes through the victim's head and all the interior walls of all the apartments - and then using his saber for the other tenants.

While Cassidy and Tulip riff off each other, Jesse hears a little thump come from the fridge.  He gets up and notices a bullet hole in the back of the fridge; a yogurt cup is leaking and he fishes a burning hot bullet out.  He looks up (outside, the Saint is approaching their door) and says, "Hey, guys - "  Just a moment later, the Saint bursts in. Jesse, Tulip and Cassidy have all escaped out the window but the Saint notices JESS spelled out in M&Ms on the remainder of Jesse's pancakes.  He knows he's found the right place.

Jesse, Tulip and Cassidy hunker down in an alley.  Jesse calls the casino and confirms that Fiore is dead, shot by "a cowboy."  Cassidy suggests that they run; Tulip suggests that Jesse stop using the Word so that the Saint can't track them.  Jesse's all, we can't run forever and I need the Word to find God.  Surely the Saint has a weakness, something that Fiore promised him to take the deal to kill the preacher.  So they go to the library.  In a funny, clever scene, Cassidy reads comic books, Jesse pores through history books and Tulip listens to a book on tape, whose narrator explains the Saint's backstory: with the loss of his soul, what with being such a horrible Confederate killer, even Satan is rumored to be afraid of him.  They learn about the death of his family and Jesse figures that is what Fiore offered the Saint: getting out of Hell and going to Heaven to reunite with his wife and daughter.   Just then, Cassidy jumps up: "Holy mother of bleedin' shite - I forgot about Dennis!"  He calls Dennis to warn him not to go into the apartment but it's too late: Dennis goes into his apartment and just has enough time for one shot on his inhaler before the Saint grabs him.  Jesse gets on the phone and uses the Word: "I'M HERE.  DON'T HURT HIM.  I'M COMING."

Jesse goes to the apartment and confronts the Saint, saying that (1) he should let Dennis go and (2) since Fiore is dead and God is missing, if the Saint kills him, the deal is off and the Saint will never get to Heaven.  He says that he can get the Saint what he wants.  The Saint says, you know what I need? and Jesse says yes.  So the Saint says he has one hour but Tulip, Cassidy and Dennis have to stay in the apartment as hostages.  Tulip is rightfully anxious about this but there doesn't seem to be any way around it.  This is their one shot.

Jesse goes straight to Papa Bebe's House of Voodoo and tells the proprietor that he needs to buy a soul right now.  The man dissembles but Jesse cuts through the bullshit, knowing a whole lot about the procedure of extracting and selling souls.  The man is all, who are you?  And Jesse, reluctantly, says, "I'm Jesse L'Angell."  The man recognizes the name and is willing to help, except that the Japanese have pushed out all the local soul-sellers (except Angelville (the name of the town that gave Jesse the willies an episode or so back) which is just hanging on by a thread).  As luck would have it, however, that armored car - Soul Happy Go Go is the name of the company - pulls up out front.  Jesse's all, there are souls on that truck?  He dashes out but can't get into the truck, which is soundproofed so he can't use the Genesis voice.

Tulip calls him to tell him to hurry because Dennis is sick (the Saint crushed his inhaler).  Jesse's all, okay but how do I break into an armored truck?  She walks him through it, using the resources of a handy local hardware store, but when he sets it off, it doesn't even leave a mark.  

When Tulip hangs up, Cassidy walks in, sad, regretting that after all this time he never bothered to learn French.  Tulip: "He's your dad or uncle, isn't he?"  Cassidy:  "He's my son.  Hard luck, eh, havin' me for a da'."  He strokes Dennis's face.  Tulip gets a determined look and marches into the kitchen where the Saint is sitting.  She tries to talk him into letting Dennis go and he doesn't respond at all, but when she makes the mistake of mentioning his dead family, he lunges at her, grabbing her by the throat and then tossing her across the room.  She pulls herself together and goes back into the other room.  Cassidy looks at her, concerned, and asks if she's all right.  Tulip: "Uh.  He touched me."  She does not seem all right.

Meanwhile, a cop pulls up and arrests Jesse.  Jesse uses the Voice to get the cop to make the armed guards open up the Soul Happy Go Go truck.  A punch in the nose and some judicious use of the Word later, Jesse is sitting down with Ando, trying to find a match to the Saint's bullet as the guards drive like mad men through the streets to New Orleans towards Dennis's apartment.  There isn't any, not in all the thousands of souls on the truck.  They have to find a close enough match - like organ donation - or the body will reject the soul.  Jesse reluctantly pulls out some of his own hair and they test it against the bullet.  It's close enough.  Jesse flinches and asks what is the smallest amount he can give.  It's 1% - "You won't even miss it," says Ando - and that's what he does.

He just barely makes it back to the apartment in time: the Saint has Tulip on the floor and Cassidy is clinging to his saber, trying to keep him from killing her.  All of the vampire's fingers get sliced off, just as Jesse bursts in with the soul pill.  Cassidy tapes up his mutilated hands and Tulip takes him and Dennis to a hospital.  Before she goes, however, she asks Jesse how he knows about these souls.  Jesse: "Family business."  

When they are gone, Jesse gives the Saint the soul-pill.  The Saint's eyes brighten immediately.  Jesse snarls at him, using Genesis:  GET ON YOUR KNEES.  The Saint crashes to the floor, shocked, and Jesse expositions that the only reason why the Word didn't work on him before is because he didn't have a soul.  Now that he has a little bit of one, Jesse is in control.  He also tells the Saint that there's no way a killer like him is going to Heaven.  The Saint is all, okay, then send me back to Hell - but I'll take your soul with me.  Jesse hadn't considered that and apparently that is not something he is willing to risk.  So he Voices the Saint into the back of the abandoned Soul Happy Go Go truck and drives him out to the swamps of Angelville.  With the Saint locked in the back, the preacher sends the truck down into the swamps, the killer screaming with rage as the truck sinks.  I'm guessing that this is not the end of the Saint but it should hold him for a little while.  Jesse turns and walks back to town when the truck has disappeared.

That evening, after Dennis is back from the hospital (and Cassidy's fingers have started to grow back), the gang settles in for some time at home.  Tulip is staring blankly into space in what must be the aftermath of having the Saint's hands on her.  Jesse, meanwhile, is hiding the Saint's guns and saber under the tiles of the bathroom floor.  When he's done, he looks at himself in the mirror again.  There's no smile this time.  Guess he does actually miss that little piece of his soul after all.

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Preacher recap "Dallas" S2E5 7/17/17

Picking up immediately where we left off last time, Jesse is in the middle of choking Viktor while Tulip tries to explain that she was never in love with Viktor and that she is only here to get him to sign the divorce papers.  Jesse is enraged, however, and not to be reasoned with.  He drags Viktor down to the torture room and strings him up in the harness.  Tulip is all I'M SORRY BUT YOU CANNOT KILL VIKTOR and Jesse snarls and uses the Voice on her: "GET OUT."  Her face is shocked and horrified as her feet shuffle her backwards out of the room.  Her parting shot: "Remember Dallas, Jesse? I don't wanna to do that again!"

Dallas.  Right after the botched bank job, when Carlos runs away without them and Tulip has a miscarriage.

Three months later.  Tulip has a job working for a realtor while Jesse seems to be doing nothing but a little bartending, plus hanging around their apartment, drinking beer and watching t.v. with a pothead buddy Reggie, who takes women's studies classes and uses the pages of a Bible to roll his joints.  One night, Tulip has invited Dani over for dinner - she's making "peanut butter potroast" - and Jesse is unhappy about that.  He seems to like (?) their life and isn't interested in working for Dani again; he has left that life behind.  The Dani scene is funny as she is completely disdainful of their current situation (and Tulip's cooking is apparently disgusting).  She tries to tempt them with some jobs - insurance scam in Santa Fe, connected guy in New Orleans looking for some general subcontracting stuff, killing her ex-husband - but Jesse insists that they aren't doing any of that anymore.

What they are doing is pretty bleak, as shown in a montage of:  them waiting for the results of a pregnancy test (always negative); having joyless, passionless sex; Jesse trudging past a church to the local convenience store to buy beer, cigarettes and a new pregnancy test.  Over and over and over again.  Over and over again.  It is sad and hopeless and it never seems to end.

Now, New Orleans.  Tulip has brought Viktor's daughter Ellie back to Dennis's house while Jesse tortures and/or kills Viktor.  Cassidy rolls with it pretty well.  They send Ellie in to watch t.v. with Dennis and once the door closes, Tulip rips into Cassidy for telling Jesse where she was.  Actually, she punches him in the nose first.  He explains that he was just worried about her - but she sees through him a bit, knowing that he likes her and is only conflicted about doing anything about it because he considers Jesse his friend.  She is worried: "I swear to God, if Jesse kills him, we are done" and Cassidy sees an opening.  He jumps up and says he's going to go talk to "that mad bastard."

Dallas.  After having walked past that church so many times in the montage, Jesse starts to pray when they're waiting for the pregnancy test results.  He even makes Tulip go with him to church; she doesn't look to be getting a lot out of it.  One day, when Jesse and Reggie are bumming around the apartment, the smoke alarm goes off (too many joints).  When Jesse goes to turn it off, he finds a plastic bag of cash stuffed into an air duct.  When Tulip comes home from the "real estate job," he confronts her, asking how long she's been back working for Dani.  It starts to get tense and Reggie tries to leave, but Jesse tells him to stay.  Tulip says that she's doing what she's good at, what they were good at until Carlos.  Jesse starts to get nasty and she reminds him that what happened hurt her too.  Oh yeah, he snarls, then what are these?, and holds up a package of birth control pills.  Her face falls - Reggie tries to leave again - and she apologizes, but says that this life Jesse seems to want seems wrong to her.  "I'm an O'Hare, Jesse!  I don't know how to do it!"  Jesse: "Oh, right.  Or maybe you don't deserve it."  They keep sniping at each other and Jesse gets more and more angry.  Then poor Reggie makes the mistake of saying something and Jesse beats him, really badly.  It's pretty awful.  An untold amount of time later, as Tulip gets ready to leave for another Dani-job, Jesse absently tells her that he's going back to Annville: his dad's church belongs to him and he's going to be a preacher.  Tulip: "Good luck with that."

Now, New Orleans.  Cassidy makes his way into Viktor's house, noting all the henchmen still frozen into position after Jesse's Voice.  He finds Jesse up in Viktor's bedroom, staring listlessly at the photograph of Tulip and Viktor's wedding day.  Cassidy blathers on pointlessly for a while.  Jesse interrupts him to ask why he should ever trust the vampire again after all the lying he's been doing, probably since the casino.  Cassidy:  "Ah, you're right.  I'm a right bastard ... a greedy, selfish, destructive, jealous ... but you see, that's the difference between me 'n you.  If some muppet had their hands on my girl, and I'm not ashamed to admit it, I don't think I'd be very restrained at all ..."  Jesse's all, if I kill him, it'll be over between me and her.  Cassidy, sneakily, passive-aggressively, is all, nah, Jesse and Tulip - that'll never change.  Because, you see, he's hoping to have goaded his friend into it - to be there to scoop Tulip up when she leaves Jesse.

After Cassidy has left, Jesse goes back down to the torture room and sharpens an axe.  Viktor has had about enough of hanging from that harness and he says that the reason Tulip married him was because Jesse was an asshole to her and Viktor was nice.  Jesse grimaces and takes a swing with that axe.

Back at Dennis's, Tulip and Cassidy wait for Jesse to come back.  When Jesse comes in, he goes straight to the fridge and gets a beer.  Tulip:  what did you do?  Jesse: I took him down.  Tulip starts to freak out.  Jesse: What? What's going on?  Why's everyone so - I took him down.  Tulip:  Took him down how?  Jesse: I cut his harness off from the ceiling - I didn't kill him - got those divorce papers instead.  As Tulip throws herself into Jesse's arms, Cassidy is all, "Oh thank god.  I'll go tell the little girl that her daddy is still alive."  Jesse whispers to Tulip, "I'm so bad for you."  She whispers back, "We're bad for each other."

A few years back.  Tulip and Viktor, married, are playing Monopoly in their bedroom.  Their rapport is pretty cute but when he tells her he loves her, she can only say thank you.  When he gets called away for a bit of business (possibly in the torture room), she gets a phone call.  It's Dani and she's found Carlos.  By the time Viktor returns to the bedroom, the Monopoly board has been upended and Tulip and all her stuff are gone.  Viktor is sad.

Now, New Orleans.  That night, Ellie is unsurprisingly having trouble sleeping.  She asks her dad to read to her and Viktor is happy to do so.  They are interrupted before too long by the sound of a fusillade of gunfire downstairs.  Viktor tells the little girl to hide in the closet.  The bedroom door explodes into splinters because, of course, the Saint of Killers has tracked Jesse's Voice.  He blows Viktor away with one shot when Viktor won't tell him where Jesse is.  Then, hearing a whimper from the closet, the Saint trains his gun on Ellie.  She's a cool customer, however, and she says, "The preacher?  I know where he is."

Previously on Preacher / next time on Preacher

Thursday, July 13, 2017

Preacher recap "Viktor" S2E4 7/10/17

After relieving Tulip of her gun, Viktor's goons take her to his mansion.  They leave her to wait in Viktor's.  From behind closed doors come three men's voices: two talking, one screaming.  Viktor comes out of the screaming room (he was NOT the one screaming) and just stares at Tulip: "So, what are we going to do with you?"  She can't meet his eyes and is struggling not to burst into tears.  Meanwhile, Jesse has made his way to Dennis's place where he catches Cassidy up on his first night's search for God adventures, and Cassidy too-subtly tries to get Jesse worried that Tulip is gone.  Jesse's all, eh, we're in a fight, it's not unlike her to disappear.  He goes to take a nap while Cassidy frets.

Also meanwhile, down in Hell, the cellblock software running the inmates' individual hell scenarios is glitching.  Everyone comes out of their cells and mills about in the corridor.  [I feel like I should be able to pick out various denizens: there's Tyler, an 80s frat boy, a gypsy woman (whom Eugene defends when the fratboy harasses her), a woman in cat-eye glasses and pearls, a flapper ... and Hitler, of course.  Hitler is quite pleasant, actually, sticking up for Eugene when the fratboy comes for him, and then inviting the boy into his cell when Eugene gets locked out of his own.  Curious to see what Hitler's worst memory might be, Eugene goes in: Munich 1919, Hitler is having lunch with a pretty lady friend in a genteel cafe, where she encourages him to show his paintings to a potential patron and, when a yarmulke-wearing man bumps Hitler's chair, the future Fuhrer apologizes first, saying it must have been his fault.  The software glitch shuts the memory scenario down before things progress, leaving Eugene all, WTF?  That's your worst memory?  You're awfully nice for fucking Hitler!

Viktor's house.  Now Tulip is actually in tears.  Viktor hands her a tissue and tells her to stop crying because that isn't going to fix things.  He says, "I brought you in, trusted you, made you a part of my family.  And in return you made a fool out of me."  He tells her that she better think of an explanation better than "I'm sorry" because that won't fix things either, suggesting that she walk around the house and get a grip on how things stand.  (Meanwhile, Cassidy is incessantly texting her: RU OK?)

Jesse and Cassidy.  After watching a post-Hurricane Katrina infomercial, Jesse and Cassidy recognize one of the actors as the guy who played Fake God back in the church at Annville.  They decide their best/only lead is to track him down.  Also, Cassidy again tries to get Jesse interested in where Tulip might be but Jesse again shrugs it off, saying that since they're in a fight, she's off bein' mad at him - shoppin', shopliftin', cheatin' at cards.

Hell.  The Hell cellblock administrator calls in a tech who says the repair will take a while, maybe a full reset.  She orders Eugene out of his cell (and the tech gives him a funny look when he goes, like maybe this glitch is happening for a reason) and takes him to her office.  She gets a phone call, which on second viewing I realize is about the Saint of Killers: "[her side of the call] What do you mean he's gone?  How could that happen?  Who let him out?  Well, someone better find him or we'll have to answer to You-Know-Who."  After she hangs up, she tells Eugene that she has reviewed his hell scenario and says that he seems like a nice, sweet, kind, loyal boy - and that Hell has no place for that sort of behavior:  "This is Hell.  Act accordingly.  We will be watching."  If he keeps it up, she'll put him in the Hole; the enormous guard pries up a manhole cover in the floor - entrance to the Hole - and Eugene cringes at the screams and wails and growls wafting up out of it.  In the meantime, she'll put him in Holding with the rest of his cellblock.

Viktor's house.  Tulip walks around, trying to talk with goons playing poker, goons and cooks in the kitchen, Viktor's young daughter even, and they all give her the cold shoulder.  The little girl even spits at her and says she hopes her father kills her.  Tulip seems stricken.  But she is still resourceful, trying to break into a gun safe.  One of Viktor's goons catches her, smirking that they changed the combination after she left, so it just takes her three or four punches to knock him out and grab his gun instead.  Thus armed, Tulip heads upstairs.  She finds Viktor in his bedroom and gets the drop on him.  But before she can do whatever she's intending to do, the torturer from downstairs sneaks up behind her and knocks her down.  The torturer offers to take care of things but Viktor waves him off, saying he'll handle Tulip.  Lying on the floor, she can just shake her head, nose streaming blood.

Jesse and Cassidy.  The boys track down the Fake God actor to his agent and, when Cassidy says that they're casting for a Game of Thrones recurring part (possibly series regular), the guy plays right into their hands.  Of course, the agent doesn't actually know where the actor is - he disappeared several weeks ago after the last gig he booked, "an out-of-town understudy part," you know, GOD - but he does give them a copy of the guy's audition tape.  When they watch it, the most notable part about it is that at the end, after the off-camera people tell him he is hired, they shoot him dead.  Cassidy's a little shocked but Jesse's all, well, guess he had to die for them to get him to Heaven.  There's a glimpse of the shooter's hand in the frame and Jesse homes right in on that, trying to figure out how to identify the shooter from just that shot.

Hell.  In Holding, Hitler continues to be friendly and nice to Eugene, baffling the boy.  But then the fratboy gets in Hitler's face and knocks him down, beating him.  Eugene watches in horror as the rest of the group joins him, stomping Hitler bloody as he cowers on the floor.  Eugene stands up and shouts at everyone to stop.  Then he takes a quick look at the closed-circuit camera in the corner of the room, and remembers that the administrator said she was watching, and then Eugene joins him, stomping and kicking and beating the one person who has been kind to him in Hell.

Jesse and Cassidy.  Cassidy finally gets through to Jesse that Tulip might be in trouble.  The vampire is all, but she made me promise not to tell.  Jesse grabs him by the shirt: where is she?!?

Viktor's house.  Jesse wastes no time using the Voice, gaining entrance to the mansion easily.  The torturer catches him unawares but when Jesse regains consciousness, a pretty epic smackdown between the two of them gets underway.  Jesse can't use the Voice on the torturer because the guy is wearing earbuds (blasting "Uptown Girl" by Billy Joel of all ridiculous songs).  Their fight goes on much longer than one might think - particularly since one might think it would be fairly easy for those earbuds to be dislodged or yanked out - but Jesse finally prevails, impaling the other guy.  Just before he croaks, the torturer gasps out that Tulip is in the bedroom.

Jesse marches upstairs and kicks in Viktor's bedroom door.  Viktor and Tulip are sitting (innocently, all clothed) on the bed but Jesse grabs Viktor around the neck, dragging him to the floor and choking him.  Tulip's all, Jesse, stop! Stop!  Nothing is getting through, however, so she steels herself and admits, "Jesse, you can't kill him.  He's my husband."  And Jesse, not loosening his grip much at all, gives her some SERIOUS side-eye at that.

Road into New Orleans.  All that Voice-shouting has caught someone's attention.  The Saint of Killers is closing in.

Previously on Preacher / next time on Preacher