The Walking Dead S8E9 "Honor" 2/25/18

Here we go, what may be the last The Walking Dead recap on Friend Mouse Speaks (I don't really know when Mr. Mouse is cancelling our cable).  And you know what, I am not going to miss this show at all.  I've been recapping it since the beginning - October 31, 2010 - and in the beginning, it was exciting and new and like nothing anyone had ever seen on television.  But over the last eight seasons, it has become a slog, a chore to watch, a suffer-fest not even enlivened by good writing.  I much prefer I, Zombie these days: there's still zombie action but with intricate plots, humor and characters I actually enjoy spending time with.  So, once more into the fray, my friends.  

In a nutshell: we have two through-lines this time around.  Carl got bit and he dies SPOILER throughout the episode; and Carol and Morgan rescue Ezekiel.  I just saved you 83 minutes.  Seriously, there is NO REASON this episode had to be 83 minutes long.

I'm sorry but I just rolled my eyes the whole time.  I have never liked Carl and to be honest, he got more character development in the initial Carl's-last-day-on-earth montage as he hid Sadiq away, took photos and painted hand prints with Judith, planted a tree and wrote letters to everyone.  Then, picking up right where the last episode left off, when Rick and Michonne catch up to everyone cowering in the sewers while the Saviors burn Alexandria down overhead, Carl lifts up his shirt to show them the bite on his stomach.  Throughout the rest of the episode, he gets paler and sicker and Rick and Michonne sweat and emote their pants off and everyone else sits around and looks sad.  In dying, Carl has become this missionary of peace: he has a vision of Rick rebuilding society, humans no longer killing each other but living together, making things grow and bloom.  He tells Rick and Michonne that they mustn't be sad or vengeful but must be strong for each other and Judith.  He also tells Michonne that she's his best friend which .... okay?  When did that happen?  Must have been earlier this season when we didn't see either of them for multiple episodes at a time.

Eventually the Saviors get bored with all the destruction and leave.  Rosita, Tara and Daryl decide to take the Alexandrian survivors - all of whom Carl did save, so there's that - to safety at Hilltop.  Daryl has Judith in his arms and promises a tearful, shaky Rick that he will protect her.  They leave, casting teary looks behind at Carl.  As he deteriorates, Rick and Michonne sweat and cry and stroke his face.   Then they decide to bring him up out of sewers because who wants to die there.  They manage to get him to the burned-out church where, after more sweaty, teary emoting, Carl grasps his pistol.  He says that he wants to do it while he still can, not wanting to put them through that.  They protect weakly for a little while.  Then, as Rick and Michonne stand on the front steps, we hear a faint shot.  They bury him.  Thus endeth Carl.

Interspersed among all the Carl death scenes is the more interesting Carol and Morgan show.  Carol leads the Kingdom survivors to her little cottage, telling them to hunker down there while she goes back to rescue the king.  Woman in a head scarf: "You versus all of them?" Carol: "Yeah." WiaHS: "They don't stand a chance."  Because Carol fucking rocks.  Young child Henry wants to help her - because Morgan taught him the staff and she taught him the gun - but Carol's all, no, you're staying here.  She sneaks back into the Kingdom (as does disobedient Henry), where Whatsisname and his squad of Saviors has captured Ezekiel, loading him and supplies into a truck to take back to Negan.  Carol runs into Morgan and the two of them systematically start taking out the Saviors.  Morgan has completely abandoned the way of the leaf (or whatever) and methodically stabs the Saviors to death with the sharpened end of his staff.  Carol is all, dude, you're getting a little scary, but this is what he does now.  Between the two of them, they take out about eight men, Morgan stabbing each through the skull after they're down to keep control of the zombification.

Whatsisname figures out things are going south when he can't raise his men on the walkie so he and his remaining Saviors grab Ezekiel and take refuge in the auditorium.  Carol and Morgan have collected semiautomatic guns from the Saviors they killed, however, and it turns into a full-fledged shoot-out.  Carol and Morgan and Ezekiel are ultimately successful but the Eeeeuww Moment of the episode comes when Morgan is wrestling with a Savior: the dude has a bullet wound in his belly and in order to beat the much bigger man, Morgan shoves his hand wrist-deep into that gut wound and pulls out the man's intestines with a squish and a splatter.  Whatsisname, fleeing with a superficial leg wound, looks back in time to see this and is all, HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT IS FUCKED UP.  He runs off but Carol, Ezekiel and Morgan find him outside.  Morgan has to be talked down from stabbing Whatsisname to death.  He relents to Carol and Ezekiel's convincing - and then the man is stabbed through the neck from behind from young Henry.  The adults are slightly aghast.

The last scene, after all of the Kingdom rescue and all of the interminable dying of Carl, is Rick, red-eyed and blinking in the sun, sitting under a tree from which stained glass windows have been hung.  He seems to be alone, and bleeding from an abdominal wound.  Who even knows what that may be about.

If I find a way (without spending extra $$, I'll pick this series back up because I don't like leaving things unfinished (abandonment of True Blood recaps notwithstanding), but only until they kill off Daryl.  That really will be the last straw.  Ciao for now, those of you who only came for these TWD recaps.  Stop by for little movie reviews when you get the chance.

Previously on The Walking Dead / next time (...?) on The Walking Dead