Flashback - Out in a swamp somewhere, a wooden box is being hauled to the surface. When the box is set on the dock, it is opened and young Jesse is dragged out, blinking, sweating, dazed. An old woman - her face obscured - asks the boy his name. When he says "Jesse Custer," she tells her henchmen to "Put him back." The men shove Jesse back in the box, fastening the lid down while he screams and pleads. And then they put that wooden box back down into the swamp. Guess it's more waterproof than I thought at first glance.
Now - Out in a swamp somewhere, Tulip has forced Jesse to raise the truck in which he trapped the Saint of Killers. She's pissed and a little frightened, but she seems to accept Jesse's explanation that he just couldn't send another soul to Hell. Here's the problem: when Jesse opens the truck up, the Saint is not inside.
Meanwhile, at Grail HQ, Featherstone and Hoover report to Starr the Jesse and Tulip goings-on, since he has tasked them with splitting the pair up. Featherstone thinks that it would just be quicker if they could kill Jesse. Starr explains his plan for the preacher - "The Messiah is a moron. I understand that you might find this disappointing." - and says he wants them to join him. Which, considering the alternative is summary execution, they do.
Hell - The administration is [ahem] administering tests to find out which of the inmates isn't supposed to be in Hell. After his test, the fratboy is confident that he's going to be let out and he makes Eugene force Hitler to show them his worst memory-hell. Hitler apparently used to be custodian in Hell and kept a key (keeps it up his butt, actually) and with a convenient distraction, the three of them sneak back into Hitler's cell. When the memory-hell starts up, it's pretty banal: the restaurant is out of plum cake which Hitler finds disappointing; the art gallery owner says Hitler's paintings are mediocre; and his girl leaves him. Afterwards, the fratboy is all, "They ran out of plum cake and you blew up Europe?" But Hitler explains that that was the last day he was a good man and thus, that is his worst memory.
New Orleans - Cassidy has gotten Dennis a chihuahua (and I spent the whole episode waiting for Dennis to snap its neck or drink its blood, because Dennis is kind of an asshole, but he doesn't). Cassidy and Tulip are fretting that the Saint is coming back after them and shouldn't they maybe leave or double-bolt the door or something. Jesse's all, he's coming for me and I'll take care of it. But it's been stressful and maybe they should get out of town for a while. Cassidy suggests Vancouver: "It's got good meth and nice hiking." Jesse's like, I saw this place on Youtube - it's got catamarans and topless beaches ... and Tulip and Cassidy are all SOLD. They jump up to start packing but then Jesse puts the brakes on because "we've got to find God first." The other two are like, nope, done that, we've looked. Jesse breaks in and is all, "Guys, I met Jesus." Cassidy: "Do you mean Jesus-Jesus or just some random Latino guy?" Jesse explains that JC's twenty-fifth great-grandson is a complete imbecile and God is necessary and if they weren't so selfish, they'd want to find him too. Tulip gets PISSED because they've pretty much done everything what Jesse wanted them to do since Texas. Everyone is shouting at each other and in the other room, Dennis's dog is barking its little head off. Jesse storms into Dennis's room and stares at the dog, and then he remembers the Messiah's drawings of a black and white dog, and then he remembers the dude in the dog suit and it comes to him. The dude in the dog suit is God. Tulip and Cassidy just stare at him and he's like, "You're not going to come with me?" They're like, nope. So he rushes across town, into the club, through the kitchen, down the stairs, across the alleyway and into the basement where the dude in the dog suit had been. But the dude in the dog suit isn't there now.
Hell - Later on, as Hitler mopes on his bunk, Eugene asks Hitler if he's still willing to help him escape. Hitler: "You trust me?" When Eugene is called for his screening, Hitler says that he'll come for him and they'll go out through the back door, a secret door. After the administrators have taken Eugene away, Hitler gets the attention of the other detainees, saying that he needs them to do something for him. Fratboy is all, why would we do anything for you, plum cake? And everyone giggles. "Because I'm ADOLF FUCKING HITLER!"
New Orleans - Jesse is at a loss and goes to see Starr to see if he's got any information. Even when he uses the Genesis Voice, Starr doesn't know where God is right now. But as part of his campaign to win Jesse over, he has procured Heaven's tape backups of all Jesse's prayers all his life. And we listen to them, a lifelong litany of asking for forgiveness for smoking, drinking, wanking, blasphemy, losing his temper, falling asleep in church, fighting, disbelief, shirking chores, "shooting a komodo dragon," thieving, lying, cheating and, once or twice, wishing for his dad to be killed.
Meanwhile, Tulip has enlisted "Jenny"/Featherstone to help her get rid of the Saint's pistols and saber. They go to a metal smelter to melt it all down (learning in the process that no one except the Saint can fire or unload those guns). While they wait, Jenny/Featherstone continues to wage her campaign to break Tulip and Jesse up. It doesn't seem to be working, at least not quickly. The smelter dude calls them back in: the smelting equipment is over 4,000 degrees and the Saint's weapons haven't even warmed up, much less melted away. So Tulip wraps them up, puts a bunch of postage on them and shoves them in a mailbox, addressed to Brazil. I'm going to guess that's not going to work.
Hell - The administrators are called out of Eugene's screening because all the detainees are holding hands and singing "Michael Row Your Boat Ashore." Hitler finds Eugene and opens the door to the Hole, saying that's the way out. Eugene is too afraid and Hitler reassures him that he'll be behind him every step of the way. He then shoves Eugene into the Hole and for a moment it seems like a double-cross. But then Hitler jumps in after him.
Back at the Grail, Starr stops the tape of Jesse's prayers and scoffs that there's pretty much no way to get off the hook for all that. "If you want to save your soul, you need to do something big. You need to join me." Starr then plays him the last one and it's back to that swamp box flashback: the old lady pulls Jesse out of the box and asks him his name again. The boy is defeated now and answers: "Jesse. Jesse L'Angell." The old lady - her face still obscured - tells him he's a good boy. But he's not done and she prompts him to finish: "Thank you God for killin' my father and bringin' me home." The old lady pats his head and tells him, "Your grandma loves you." And the camera pulls back to reveal a sign ANGELVILLE GATOR TOURS. Yeesh. No wonder that Angelville poster gave him the wiggins a couple of episodes ago.
In the now again, Starr offers to make copies of the prayers for Jesse, if he'd like to take them. Jesse says no, thank you, but why don't you SHOVE THEM UP YOUR ASS. He walks out and tells the office staff to LET ME OUT. The Genesis Voice doesn't seem to work, however, so he repeats the command - twice, before they open the doors for him. That doesn't bode well - why didn't it work?
After Jesse has gone, Starr gets on the phone with Hoover telling him that he's up, and nothing less than the eternal dignity of the Grail is at stake. Of course, he's bent over his desk, shoving the unspooled prayer tapes literally up his ass at the same time.
Out in a warehouse somewhere, Hoover's voice comes out of an armored truck, one that looks like the one Jesse sunk into the Angelville swamp. Hoover says: "I'm glad we could come to this understanding. Now, just do what you do." Then the truck doors swing open. Hoover hops out and runs away, as fast as he can, not looking back.
Previously on Preacher / next time on Preacher
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