Friday, September 30, 2011

True Blood episode recap "Everything is Broken" (S3E9)

Immediately after staking Talbot, Eric flies back to Fangtasia and tells Pam that they need sanctuary, and now.  Pam: "Are you panicking? Should I be panicking?"  But it's too late because that hardcase Nan Flanagan and her Vampire Rights League (or whatever) goons have arrived.  The vote to ratify the Vampire Rights Act (or whatever) is just three days away and Nan is furious that she's back in the deep South, cleaning up messes when she should be wining and dining politicos - and that's Tru-Blood dining only for Nan, of course.  She orders the vamp goons to "silver" Eric.

Russell gets back to the mansion to find what's left of his lover lying in gooey strings and clumps on the carpet.  He falls to his knees and clutches the gunk to his chest.  When he see the Viking crown has been taken, he knows exactly who is responsible and screams in rage.

Meanwhile, back in Bon Temps, Sookie and Bill shower together and engage in a little biting, bloody shower-sex.  Then they go downstairs to clean up the dead werewolf that Bill left in the living room.  She asks him why he's keeping that secret file on her and her family and he says that he's trying to find out what she is exactly, and thus why Eric is so interested in her.  Sookie's like, you know, that file is kind of creepy, plus you can't think of me as a thing that needs protecting - I took care of Debbie all by myself, after all.

Jason gets back to his house to find Felton in there with Crystal.  She's told her fiance that Jason kidnapped and raped her, is why she's there.  When Felton starts choking Jason, Crystal beats him over the head with the butt of the shotgun.  She tells Jason that they need rope and lots of it - Felton is stronger than he looks and can escape handcuffs.  They take him out to the boondocks and make an anonymous call to the sheriff's office, reporting him.

There's a lot of talking in this episode, much of it as Nan Flanagan interrogates Eric about the Magister's disappearance in view of webcams so the members of the Authority can hear firsthand.  Blah blah blah: ERic tells her about Russell's history with the werewolves, how Russell wants to take over the world, how Russell hates the Authority, how Russell killed the Magister and forced the Queen to marry him, that he didn't report any of this because he's holding a 1,000 year old grudge and wants to kill the King himself.  Nan thinks this all might be bullshit, especially since Russell just donated $500,000 to the VRL (or whatever).  She puts Eric and Pam in coffins until the Authority can make a decision.

Back at Sam's trailer, he tries to get Tara to talk about her ordeal.  He's very gentle with her but is interrupted when Terry and Arlene call to complain about the ruckus Tommy and a lady friend are making next door.  It's quite a ruckus.  Sam goes over there and finds Tommy and a naked blonde bimbo partying hard.  Tommy thinks Sam is a fuddyduddy; Sam just asks him to keep it down.

Both Ruby Jean and Jesus have spent the night at Lafayette's house, but Jesus has spent it in his bed.  In the morning, Jesus takes Ruby back to the clinic, promising to come back soon to see Lafayette.

Jason and Crystal swing by the sheriff's office in the morning and learn that the deputy who went out to investigate Felton was mauled terribly and is in critical condition.  I guess Crystal didn't tie him as tightly as she thought.  But a bag of V was found at the scene, along with some guy's empty clothes, and Jason points out that if they can tie the V to the meth dealers at Hotshot (the white trash warren up in the hills where the meth dealers live), they can raid them again.  Andy thinks that's actually a decent idea.

Tara has made her way to a rape survivors' support group, but is startled to see Holly, the new death's-head Merlotte's waitress there.  Holly is very welcoming and warm, though, and tells her story to get things going. Tears roll down Tara's face as she listens.

Sookie gets a phone call from her cousin Hadley and meets up with her.  Hadley wants Sookie to meet her son, Hunter, to see if he has the same mind-reading gifts that Sookie has.  Hunter does and Hadley panics, convinced that the vampires will come after her little boy the way they're coming after Sookie.

That evening at Merlotte's, Arlene thinks Tommy is stealing her tips.  When Sam takes her side, Tommy accuses him of never standing up for himself.  Holly finds Arlene crying in a back room and comforts her, enough so that Arlene confesses about being afraid of the possibly evil baby she's carrying.  Holly asks if she wants the baby and Arlene cries no.  Then Holly asks if she wants to go to a clinic but Arlene can't face that, so Holly tells her that "there are other ways to resolve it."  Is Holly a witch?  Because I heard witches were going to make an appearance on this show at some point.

Bill has that dream Sookie had that brings him to Claudine's glowy world.  Claudine is NOT happy to see him.  When she runs from him, he grabs her and she blasts him with that light from her hands.  She accuses him of killing Sookie and stealing her light.  Bill insists that he did not kill Sookie and asks Claudine what she is, because Sookie needs to know so she can protect herself.

Eric's ears and nose are bleeding again when Pam emerges from her coffin.  He warns her about all the shit that's about to come down.  She tells him that he should have confided in her about what happened to his family so he didn't have to carry that burden alone.  They are sad, thinking about what might happen.  He tells her that if he can't go on, she must make a new vampire: it is time for her to become a maker.  Pam bursts into tears and hugs him tight.

Hoyt and Summer come in for dinner at Merlotte's.  Jessica's fangs accidentally pop out when she seats them and she runs off, embarrassed.  But when that annoying Summer goes to the ladies', Jessica comes back to the table and apologizes for scaring Hoyt's new girlfriend. Hoyt bursts out, "I hate her! I fuckin' hate her! She won't stop talkin'!"  Jessica: "So what are you doin' with her?"  Hoyt: "Because it beats sittin' around thinkin' about you."  Jessica bursts into tears and Tommy comes over and ushers her away.  In another booth, Jason tells Crystal about the plan to raid Hotshot and put everyone in jail.  She gets upset, saying those folk are her kin, and lots of 'em don't have anything to do with meth, and it'll be really bad to put them in jail.

Nan Flanagan returns to Fangtasia.  Across the street and unseen, Russell is watching, clutching a crystal urn full of Talbot-goo.  He thinks that the VRL (or whatever) is "protecting a murderer" and flies off before learning that Eric is, in fact, currently a prisoner.  Nan tells Eric and Pam that the Authority is going to pretend all this never happened, while instructing Eric to kill Russell, under the radar and without any outside support.  Eric is apprehensive what with how powerful and old Russell is but Nan does not care: "Bring me his fangs or I'll take yours."

Back at Merlotte's, Crystal's daddy Calvin has come in and is shouting at his daughter, calling her a snitch (and worse).  Sam has had enough and beats the ever-lovin' snot out of Calvin while everyone looks on in awe and horror.  Finally, Hoyt and Jason pull Sam off the unconscious and very bloody man.  Calvin is in really bad shape so Jesus and Lafayette put him in Jesus's truck to go to the hospital. Crystal runs out and jumps in the truck with them, ignoring Jason's pleas to stay.

In the parking lot, Tara watches the truck go and then HOLY SHIT there's Franklin, totally not killed.  He grabs her and drags her around the side of the building.  He's still completely nuts and more angry with her for not mourning his presumed death than actually having tried to kill him.  She takes a stand and tells him that he's a psychopath and she never loved him and he doesn't really love her because he is not capable of it.  Tara:  "Come on - if you're gonna kill me, fuckin' kill me! ... and then I will finally be free of you!"  Franklin seizes her and is about to bite down when Jason steps behind him and cocks his shotgun (not a euphemism).  Franklin, as a vampire, is of course not afraid of any gun and advances, so Jason fires and that big ol' wooden bullet hits the vamp square in the chest, causing him to erupt in a fountain of blood and guts.  See, Tara, that's how you kill a vampire.

Bill and Sookie reconnect and he tells her about his visit with Claudine, and that he thinks he knows why Sophie-Ann, Russell and Eric are so interested in her - he knows what she is.

Nan is in her limo, up in Oregon on her way to her next meeting in Portland.  There's a hot naked chick with enormous boobs in the limo with her and Nan, that big friggin' hypocrite, drops her fangs and starts sucking on the girl's femoral artery.  The limo's t.v. set is tuned to a local station and the anchor is talking about the upcoming VRA vote.  Suddenly, and absolutely awesomely, Russell drops onto the set, punches his fist through the news anchor's chest AND PULLS OUT THE GUY'S GODDAMNED SPINE.  Oh. my. god. Russell fucking rocks.  He pushes the dead guy out of his chair and sits down, still holding the spine in one bloody hand, and starts his rant [paraphrased and shortened]:  "We are nothing like you.  We drink true blood and the VRL is trying to hide this fact from you.  I am the true face of vampires.  Why would we seek equal rights?  You are not our equals.  We will eat you, and after we will eat your children. Now, time for the weather - Tiffany?"

Damn.  That last ten minutes totally made up for all the talking and talking and talking in the rest of the episode.  Outstanding.

Previously on True Blood / next time on True Blood

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