Mr. Mouse complained after last episode that even though he was in the other room, trying not to pay attention to the television, all he could hear was the screaming. Mr. Mouse is not a fan of screaming. Not that he reads this blog anymore, but there was hardly ANY screaming in this episode.
Talbot and Franklin get a little hissy with each other while Franklin waits to see the King. Wiping the stripper's blood from their chins, Russell, Lorena and Bill get back to the mansion just before things get nasty. Tara's eyes go wide and she moans, "Bill?" hoping that he'll help her. But he totally blows her off. Russell and Franklin retire to the study so Franklin can make his report. Tara begs for help and Bill flat out refuses her.
Franklin shows the King the Stackhouse file he found at Bill's house and Russell pages through it before asking why Franklin is dragging another girl around - he's tired of cleaning up after the Brit. "This girl is spectacularly different," enthuses Franklin, "She's such a fucking disaster - we could be twins!" Russell: "Franklin, you're a HUGE freak. But I like your work." He muses that Sookie got away the last time he sent a wolf after her, maybe he should send Franklin this time. Franklin grins that he doesn't have to go anywhere: Sookie's in Jackson.
Alcide is driving his truck like a mad man down some back road, still riled up from that mass shifting he and Sookie just escaped from. She wants to know more about Russell Edgington - wants to meet him, in fact. "No fucking way!" shouts Alcide, reminding her that Eric wants him to protect her.
Speaking of Eric, he's just arrived at the King's mansion. He is requesting permission to hunt for the missing Bill Compton in Mississippi because Bill is wanted for selling V in Louisiana. Russell's like, "Really? Let's ask him," and Talbot laughs: "He's much too square to sell V." Bill himself saunters in, sneering that it was in fact Eric selling the V at Queen Sophie Ann's behest. Eric backpedals, saying that he lied about Bill because the Master will kill his "progeny" if he doesn't bring Bill back to Louisiana. Russell snarls - he hates the Magister and all the power he has. The King invites Eric to stay the night while he ponders what to do. Eric sips from a martini glass of blood and gives Bill a knowing look.
Sookie is awoken by a loud fight Alcide and Debbie are having in the other room. Alcide is shirtless again - yay! When Sookie comes out of the bedroom, Debbie lunges at her, accusing her of sleeping with "her wolf." Sookie snaps that Debbie's an idiot for leaving Alcide for "a dumb biker who's half the man and half the wolf" Alcide is. Alcide has to hold Debbie back from ripping Sookie's head off. Then Sookie asks Debbie where Bill is. Debbie just thinks, "Who the hell is Bill Compton?" and Sookie's all, rats.
Franklin has dressed poor Tara in a horrible, old-fashioned, high-necked frilly nightgown and tied her to the bed. He whispers crazy sweet nothings to her before hoisting her phone and demanding to know who this Lafayette is who is sending her texts - she said no boyfriends! He pounces on her, choking her, until she finally gasps out that Lafayette is her cousin. Oh, Franklin simpers, love you!
The next morning, Jason shows up at the sheriff's department, ready for his first day of work. This storyline sucks so let's just say Andy sticks him with a desk job, which Jason totally fails at, and then outside washing the squad cars. At least he's shirtless that way.
Sam helps the Mickenses move their van load of broken-down boxes and ripped trash bags into one of his rental cottages. Terry shows up with his own truckload of stuff, ready to move in with Arlene. Sam tells him congratulations and gives him a big hug. Then Sam and Tommy head off to Merlotte's for work.
Sookie overhears Alcide thinking that he'd better consult with the packmaster for guidance. She wants to know what a packmaster is. After he gets annoyed with her for reading his mind, Alcide tells her that a wolfpack isn't a democracy - "wolves ain't that smart - you saw, they're all teeth and fight and sex" - the packmaster makes the big decisions and keeps the other wolves in line. She wants to come with him and he reluctantly allows it, with an adorable little growl and glower. Joe Mangianello ain't that great an actor but I sure do think he's purty.
While Franklin sleeps the day away, Tara loosens the knots with her teeth. She sneaks out of the mansion but doesn't get halfway across the lawn before the werewolves tackle her.
Jesus comes by Merlotte's to see Lafayette: it's his day off, but Lafayette has to work until 11:00 p.m. Jesus says he'll hang 'til then - "It's only nine hours." Lafayette: "Oh lordy." Aw!
When Alcide and Sookie talk to the packmaster, he's blustery but in fact is terrified of Russell and his Nazi werewolves: "He's the fucking King of Mississippi and he's had a pack serving him for centuries!" Sookie overhears the packmaster's thoughts and tells Alcide to let him go, "He can't help us, he's afraid." Alcide touches her shoulder and tells her that he trusts her.
As Jason washes the squad cars, that blonde girl he saw in the woods by the meth dealer's house drives by in a beater pickup. He jumps into one of the squad cars, still shirtless, chasing her down and pulling her over. They flirt and he tries to get her number but she's coy and eventually drives off, leaving him with nothing but her name, "Crystal." He calls after her that he'll be at Merlotte's in an hour.
At Merlotte's, Arlene is bitchy to Jessica so the baby vampire hypnotizes all the people she seats to not tip their waitress. When Hoyt comes in for a date with a tiny, annoying girl, Tommy asks Jessica why she looks sad. She points out Hoyt as her ex and Tommy laughs, "Him? He looks like he got bombed by radiation on his way to middle school!" He tells her that she's a "smokin' hot vampire" and way too good for Hoyt.
That night, Franklin is rather upset that Tara tried to escape. "But you tied me up!" she pleads. "To keep you safe - what other reason could there be?" is his rationale. And then he starts bawling and pounding his head against the wall. Tara's mind races: she apologizes, saying that it's not him she's afraid of, it's all the other vampires here at the King's mansion. "I'll never let them touch you," Franklin promises, deadly serious, folding her into his arms. Tara's eyes are like a trapped wild animal's.
Downstairs, the King asks Bill about that Stackhouse file but Bill disclaims having ever seen it before. Russell's theory is that Bill is trying to unearth Sookie's heritage, thinking there's a payoff somewhere in there. Bill chuckles, saying it's a nice theory, but since it's not his file, he really couldn't say. Cooter interrupts to speak with his boss and Russell sends Bill away. Later, Cooter pays a visit to Bill in his room, saying that Russell has seen through Bill's bullshit, plus they've heard that Sookie is fuckin' a werewolf right here in Jackson! (Debbie can't keep her mouth shut about nothin'.) Bill totally loses his cool, beating up Cooter and pushing a guard vamp's face up against the silver lining the door before running out to find Sookie.
As the evening at Merlotte's wears on, (1) Tommy asks Sam if he can stay with him tonight and Sam is like, okay, but WTF is with you and Joe Lee; (2) Lafayette and Jesus play pool and flirt; and (3) Crystal is outside the bar when Jason walks out, and they take a walk and talk earnestly and smooch and it's BORING. He's smitten, she's secretive and it's clear that she's meant to be a supernatural something or other, white trash notwithstanding, but I just don't care. They almost have sex but she runs off. Whatever.
Russell has an errand to run and asks Eric to keep Talbot company. Talbot gives him a tour of the house and when they get to Russell's collection of ancient arms, a Viking crown send Eric into a flashback: A thousand years ago, Eric was a wastrel prince, fucking his way through the serving wenches while his king father wished he'd straighten up. One night, wolves attacked the castle, killing everyone - Eric's father, mother and baby sibling. Eric manages to kill one of the wolves and it turns into a naked man, with Russell's brand on his neck. Another wolf takes the crown from Eric's father's head and takes it to a cloaked figure. The figure tells Eric not to be a hero and walks off into the mist, taking the crown with him. The accent is different, but the voice is Russell's.
That night, Joe Lee comes drunk off his ass to Sam's trailer, pounding on the door and bellowing for Sam to give Tommy back. Sam throws his ass out and looks at his little brother, "WTF was that?"
Franklin finds Tara in the mansion's dining room, staring at a bowl of day lilies that the house vamps have brought her to eat. After he chases off the guard, Tara looks at him and tells him that they have to talk. Franklin: "Don't say that. Women say that and everything goes black, and I wake up surrounded by body parts." Heh - I think I love Franklin, even though he is a bugfuck crazy psychopath. But Tara assures him that she is really into him. He says he'll take her somewhere nice tonight to celebrate her last night as a human - he's going to turn her. "Will you be my vampire bride?" he asks, kissing her hand. Tara looks like she's about to lose her mind.
Bill finds Sookie at Alcide's apartment. She throws herself into his arms and he embraces her, but tells her that she has to get out of here and fast. But it is too late: Russell and his henchmen have arrived. The henchmen immobilize Alcide and Bill and Cooter goes after Sookie. She back up a little and then that white light flashes out of her hands, throwing the werewolf across the room. Bill and Alcide goggle and Russell just throws his head back and laughs, "Fantastic!!!"
Previously on True Blood / next time on True Blood
48 minutes ago