Saturday, December 29, 2007

Sweeney Todd - mini-review

My oh my - I haven't seen a movie with that much blood in it since my last Tarantino/Rodriguez outing. If you can stomach the blood, go see this in the theater. It deserves to be seen larger than life and with the music swirling around you.

Burton's typically dark and twisted settings are perfect for the revenge story of a barber whose wife and daughter were stolen from him by a greedy London judge. Fifteen years after being wrongfully transported, the barber returns to reap vengeance. Initially frustrated in his attempts, Todd snaps and murders folk at will, assisted by his neighbor and landlady who bakes the bodies into her meat pies.

Johnny Depp as Sweeney Todd is fabulous, inhabiting that dark soul fully and singing his little heart out. At the moment when Todd succumbs to the madness he was attempting to hold at bay, I remember coming out of the movie a little to think, "He better get nominated for a Best Actor come Oscar-time." I am a huge Depp fan - ever since his 21 Jump Street days - but he really is marvelous here. Helena Bonham Carter is her usual creepy, wonderful self as Mrs. Lovett; Alan Rickman made my skin crawl as the evil Judge Turpin. Young Toby, played by newcomer (?) Ed Sanders, has the best voice of the lot but Depp and Bonham Carter do themselves proud as non-singers.

I've never seen a stage production of Sweeney Todd (although I think my college put on a performance my senior year) and I did wish I'd been familiar with the songs: there is very little actual dialogue that is not sung so understanding the lyrics is important to understanding the story. I'm pretty sure I got the gist but folks who know the show better will have gotten nuances that I'm sure I missed.

Gore-o-phobes (Mr. Mouse, this means you) will not like this film. Devotees of the movie musical genre will not know what to do - even Little Shop of Horrors ain't nothing like this. Tim Burton afficionados may be surprised at the buckets and buckets of red heretofore unseen in TB's catalog. But if you are not in the least put off by the sanguinary decadence, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street is a treat.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Book review: The Girls by Lori Lansens

This is the second book I read over my long Christmas weekend with Mr. Mouse's family, the first being the soccer/Mafia one. Mr. Mouse was very cute, noticing me turning the pages much more quickly: "Like this one better?" he asked. "Oh, yes," I said, "I'm only half a chapter in and it's already a better book." To be fair, this is the author's second novel, so she's had a chance to feel comfortable in her voice; on the other hand, I'm guessing she figured out how to develop lush characterizations, an interesting and suspenseful plot and convincing dialogue in her first book too.

The Girls is a lovely and well-written story about Rose and Ruby Darlen, Canadian conjoined cragiopagus twins, age 29. Framed as the twins' written memoirs as their inevitable mortality looms closer, the novel takes us - in both present time and flashbacks - through the girls' birth, childhood and adult lives together. Each of Rose and Ruby has her own voice and her own perspective on their unavoidably shared experience and the author does a nice job allowing each sister to provide commentary on the other's narrative. At no time does the reader feel revulsion or pity for the Girls: as Lansens says in her afterword, they're normal girls ... who happen to be attached at the head.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Book review: St. John of the Midfield by Gerasamo Maccagnone

St. John of the Midfield is the first novel by the author of a short story collection and a children’s book. It’s a valiant attempt that falls a little short, and by “short” I mean 169 very small pages of very large print. In addition, the characters are not as fleshed out as I would like for a full-length novel – the plot is there, just not actualized as it might be. There are also two very brief short stories tacked onto the end of the book. It’s almost as an afterthought, as though Maccagnone had wanted to put them in his previous short story collection but didn’t quite have room, so he just adds them here to give them exposure. They’re little more than anecdotes: the first a disjointed story about juvenile pranks and the second an ode to a good dog.

The story is set in Michigan, outside of Detroit, and is narrated by Mario Santini whose son, Luca, is a young soccer prodigy. Luca tries out for a youth soccer club and makes the Rochester Crusaders. The Crusaders are coached by Bobo Stoikov, a former World Cup soccer star who defected from Bulgaria some twenty years earlier. Injured during his escape from Bulgaria and no longer able to play himself, coaching soccer is all Bobo has left. He is a wonderful coach, focusing on developing ball skills and passing techniques, encouraging the boys to play elegant European-style soccer.

In his devout, Slavic idiom he describes the positions with apostolic metaphors: defenders are like Peter, “tough and strong. Judas is a striker. He play[s] for himself.” But midfielders are like St. John: obedient, generous, smart. Luca Santini, a good Italian Catholic boy, is a midfielder, one of the best in the league. The boys (and their parents) quickly love the eccentric Bobo and soon the team is winning all of their games.

Trouble comes in the form of another soccer coach, an ex-con who is envious at the great team Bobo has built. He starts a smear campaign against the Crusaders, culminating with a false accusation that Bobo is a pedophile. The team falls apart and people end up dead, although we only hear about it offhandedly, which seems to be a bit of a chickening out storytelling-wise.

Interwoven with the soccer is the narrator’s own story. Luca’s father is the legitimate son of a made man. Mario is struggling with his mother’s building insanity over losing a daughter in a car accident years ago. He and his wife, Luca’s mother, are having difficulty having another child and Mario ends up unconvincingly having an affair with another soccer mom. Mario also has to deal with his family’s Mafioso legacy, his father and uncles using violence to solve the problems of the family’s trucking business. It is here that St. John of the Midfield breaks down - it doesn’t need the Mob. I suspect the lengthy delving into Mario’s father’s history was intended as character development, but I found it distracting from what I was really interested in: the soccer.

It seems as though the author had two good ideas for his book – the soccer and the impact of a connected parent on a legitimate family – but he didn’t quite have enough material for either story for a full-length novel, so he smushed the two together. Maccagnone should have trusted himself enough to commit to one of his themes. St. John of the Midfield would have worked wonderfully as a long short story by focusing on Bobo and his soccer team, with Mario’s marital woes and Sicilian temper as a counterpoint. As a novel, however, it’s not quite enough.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Christmas Past and Present

Funny how the holidays are the same date, every year, and yet every year Christmas sneaks right up on me. Wasn’t it just Thanksgiving? This year marks a milestone for me: this is the first Christmas in thirty-seven years that I will not be spending with my parents. Can you believe that? One year I even dragged them over to Crete after a semester abroad. After 36 Christmases in a row you start to get some traditions in place. A parental Mouse Christmas goes something like this.

On Christmas Eve afternoon we all traipse over to my uncle’s house for hors d'œuvres, cookies and presents. We have to be careful, however – no matter how tasty the snacks, we’ve got a long evening of food and drinks ahead of us. It’s important to take it slow. After a couple of hours, my uncle’s family heads off to church and we more heathen Mouses head to my parents’ house. Now the drinking can begin in earnest, as there’s no more driving to be done. One year my dad and I accomplished hot buttered rum, home brew, wine just before dinner, champagne with dinner (more on dinner later), more wine after dinner and then a bit of single malt scotch after the after-dinner wine. Mr. Mouse was appalled and I had a small headache on Christmas morning. We’ve since learned to (a) cut out the hot buttered rum entirely, (b) sometime substitute limoncello for the scotch, and (c) drink a glass of water for every glass of alcohol. Everyone’s happier that way.

I need to go back and tell you about the traditional Christmas Eve dinner. The family legend goes that when my folks were very young and very poor, they wanted to splurge on something decadent on one Christmas Eve. They decided on champagne and caviar, buying the best they could afford – which was about a $7 bottle and a $1.50 jar – and they’ve been having champagne and caviar on Christmas Eve ever since. The quality (and price) has gone up considerably since then. In addition, we have Raclette cheese, melted in front of the fire (the only time all year the fireplace in the den gets lit), and served with a good baguette, boiled potatoes, dill pickles and pickled onions. It takes forever since you have to wait for the cheese to melt in between rounds, we all end up in shorts and t-shirts because the room gets so bloody hot with the fire going, and you have to keep a close watch on the dogs who are extremely interested in the big plate of melting cheese right at nose level. Christmas Eve is my favorite.

Christmas Day has gotten a little over-the-top in recent years: everyone gets a fully loaded stocking; there's homemade challah pulla bread, coffee, broiled grapefruit and either stuffed French toast or egg, cheese and sausage strata for breakfast; we open presents for hours. If there’s enough snow, we’ll take the dogs on a short cross-country ski; if there’s not enough, we’ll walk. Christmas dinner in recent years has been prime rib and Yorkshire pudding, and often a chocolate stout cake; there was once an attempt at a goose, but that mistake was not repeated. Regardless of the entrée, Mr. Mouse and I roll home, stuffed, sated and possibly in need of a detox.

This year we’ll have Christmas with Mr. Mouse’s family. I’m looking forward to learning new traditions and, as he hasn’t been with his folks for the holidays in ten years, Mr. Mouse will be learning them as well. I love Christmas and seeing how different families celebrate being together - I hear there will be Christmas Eve visits with aunts and uncles and family friends, not so different after all. And I’m even bringing a bottle of champagne to share, because after thirty-six years some traditions are too good to let go.

Note: if anyone is interested in recipes for anything mentioned here, let me know in the comments and I'll try to rustle 'em up for you. Merry-merry and happy-happy, everyone!

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Hot Fuzz - mini-review

Man oh man - how much fun was this movie? From the minds of the mad geniuses who created Shaun of the Dead (on my all-time top-twenty list for certain) comes the buddy cop action flick nonpareil, Hot Fuzz. I want to shake all those movie reviewers who didn't like this one. Did they not get it? Did they not get that this is an homage to all those over-the-top cop flicks we all know all too well? I'm feeling almost morally obligated to rent Bad Boys II after having enjoyed this movie so much.

Edgar Wright (writer/director) and Simon Pegg (writer/lead character "Nicholas Angel") nailed all the clichés from all those action movies: from the long establishing shot of Nicholas walking into work, to the montage of his accolades, to the icy reception he receives in his new assignment, to the eventual loosening up under the influence of his new friend, to the "ironic" cutaways, to the apocalyptic crescendo of the big gun battle. For the first few minutes I was distracted by Pegg, thinking, "That's the guy who played 'Shaun.'" But soon enough I was sucked in by his new deep action-voice and steely single-mindedness - fanastic!

I just loved this movie, inching forward to the edge of my seat by the end of it. I did feel a little guilty watching Nicholas and Danny beating on a bunch of senior citizens, but the glee I felt during the Godzilla tribute in the model village soon pushed all flares of conscience aside. Genuis, I say. I cannot wait to see what Wright and Pegg come up with next now that they have conquered both the zombie and the buddy-cop genres.

P.S. - the shot when Danny opens his DVD closet? A movie-phile's dream - I want that closet.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Hero Worship

Disclaimer: this is an entertainment blog and therefore the "heroes" discussed herein will be fictional, not actual people. You'll have to find a meaningful blog if you want to read about that.

In view of the DVR wasteland where a Heroes episode should have been, I was thinking a little about some of the other fictional heroes I’ve discovered through the years. I generally prefer flawed heroes to the golden boys – I think most people do. They’re more human. There’s something identifiable about a hero who has been chosen and forced into action against his or her nature or someone who, but for the whims of chance, illimitable funds or a superpower or two, could be us. Faith is more fun than poor, put-upon Buffy. Achilles, pouting in his tent, is more interesting than noble Hector, while that sneaky trickster Odysseus is more interesting still than Achilles. Wolverine is way more compelling than Superman.

One of the first heroes I latched onto was Bigwig (Thlayli) from Watership Down. This bruiser could have been nothing but the muscle, an enforcer, yet he put his faith in the little brainy fellows leading the rebellion and grew to be much more than a brute soldier. His bloody battle against General Woundwort was epic and his military experience was instrumental in finally freeing the colony. But Bigwig was more than a fighter; he was impatient, funny, grumpy, forgiving, loyal and loved a good story. Oh hell yeah - I'm talking about rabbits.

I fell a little in love with Howard Roark the first time I read The Fountainhead in the 1980s. This talented, brilliant, unrelenting man who knew what he wanted to do and did only that fascinated me. To be able focus entirely on the work you were creating, with no regard for fashion, fortune or fame, was a heady concept to someone struggling with the cliques of high school. I never delved too deeply into Ayn Rand’s Objectivist leanings, however, preferring to simply see her protagonist as an icon of individuality and creativity, unburdened by too much philosophy.

Medea, specifically the character in Euripides’s play of the same name, captured my attention for my senior essay at university. Not a heroine as such is usually found in the Greek tragedies, Medea is a classical hero whose fixed purpose - to avenge the wrong done to her and bring honor back upon herself – is the focus of the play. After she is betrayed by her husband, Jason, she does not veer from her task; she adopts the heroic creed of “hurt your enemies and help your friends” despite the fact that she has no friends left and her current enemies used to be people she loved. She takes on enormous forces (her husband, three kings, her affection for her children, the traditional and powerless position of women ruled by men, the civic conventions of the time) and vanquishes them all, using her clever brain and her skill with poison to do so. Classical heroes do not normally possess the craft and persuasive powers that Medea does (with the exception of Odysseus, and he is almost as conventionally amoral as she is) but her character needs these strengths as her female physicality will not carry her through. Although her final revenge is unthinkable– she murders her own children to hurt their father – she must do it as the unspoken rules of classical heroic conduct do not allow for half-accomplished revenge. She must destroy Jason’s house no matter the cost and she does so by entering a form of aristeia [a transcendental state in which the hero archetype is able to go beyond the capacity of normal human behavior]. Madwoman, foreigner, mother, victim - Medea was many things to the ancient Greeks; Euripides made her one of the only female heroes as well.

Everyone needs a hero in his or her life. Hopefully, yours is a neighbor or father or big sister. But if you’re having difficulty tracking down real flesh-and-blood inspiration, crack a book. Joseph Campbell believed the same hero wore a thousand faces, showing up over and over again in mythology throughout human history. That means there are innumerable heroes out there, just waiting for someone to turn their pages.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Strange but weird - Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere

I can't remember exactly how I discovered Neverwhere. I think I was checking the definition of "malevolent" for a Deadwood recap and hilariously found (on the first page of the Google search, no less), which was created by Neil Gaiman. I poked around there and found a link to Gaiman's main site which lists all the stuff he's done: comics, books, theater, movies.

Neverwhere was a six-part television series made for the BBC in the 1990s - and each of the six parts is only a half hour, so it's a pretty quick viewing. The DVD also has a BBC interview with Gaiman that I only watched a few minutes of, but he mentioned that part of his inspiration came from the London Tube map with its imagination-firing place names: Angel Islington, Earls Court, Turnham Green, Piccadilly Circus, Hammersmith, Limehouse, Goodge Street. Set in those underground tunnels and sewers below London, this is the story of how a normal guy, Richard Mayhew, gets sucked into a nightmarish alternate world, all because he stopped to help a hurt girl. The girl is somewhat of a princess in London-Below and Richard helps her on her quest to avenge her murdered family, along the way discovering hidden depths about himself.

This little series is nuts - like a really, really, REALLY low budget Time Bandits. It looks as though it was filmed on videotape; the special effects are giggle-inducing. But all of the actors are playing it straight and they manage to nearly sell this crazy world. Two of the characters, Mr. Croup and Mr. Vandermar, steal every scene they're in: they're murderers for hire and do their job with much humor and relish. "Can't make an omelette ..." says Mr. Croup near the end, and Mr. Vandermar (who likes to eat the rats and frogs he kills in his spare time) finishes, "... without killing some people." Hee.

Having now seen both Stardust and Neverwhere, I'm intrigued enough by Gaiman's work to want to move Mirrormask up in my queue and also to pick up some of his books, comic and regular. I'm not sure I'd recommend Neverwhere as the introductory course in a Gaiman education but it is definitely worth it as an elective along the way.

Monday, December 10, 2007

I got nothin' to recap tonight

But this meme is silly and kind of fun. I got it from this guy who got it from this guy. Go to the Wikipedia home page and click "random article." That is your band's name. Click "random article" again and that is the name of your album. Click "random article" fifteen more times: those are the tracks on your album.

Band name: Nusselt Number
Album name: City of Casey

1. Subdivisions of Galicia
2. Thermography
3. Gustavo Cerati
4. Lesser White-toothed Shrew
5. EMD G16
6. 1882 U.S. National Championships (tennis)
7. Beneficium inventarii
8. Glenn Knight
9. Iran at the 1982 Asian Games
10. Gregory Boyer
11. Singularity
12. Stanghelle
13. David Špiler
14. Traveler
15. Godin

I'm not really sure what we sound like (I'm leaning towards Bob Mould crossed with ABBA crossed with Bjork) but Track 4 is by far my favorite.

Sunday, December 9, 2007

New feature here at Friend Mouse Speaks

Perhaps you have noticed the new search box over there to your right. This is part of my little blog's recent Amazon Associates affiliation; the other part will be the new click-through product links I'll put in some of my posts. If you like a review/recap you've read here and are interested in purchasing the supporting medium, you can click through from here to and, at no extra cost to you and no extra hassle, toss a few cents my way. Same thing with the search box: if you search from here and then buy something, they'll reward me with a teeny little bit of money because I sent you to them.

I know, I know: sure didn't take long for Friend Mouse to sell out. And, personally, if I can buy something at my favorite local independent bookstore, that's what I do. But if I'm ever going to quit my day job and support myself solely by watching television and reading books and then reporting back to all y'all, I'm going to need some sort of income stream. So, buy buy buy (especially if you were going to get it at anyway)!

To make it extra enticing for you - and to practice my HTML coding - here are some previously reviewed products. Enjoy - and warm up those credit cards.

Friday, December 7, 2007

People like cookies too

I got to thinking and, really, why should the dogs get all the treats? My mom was kind enough to pass along some of the family's traditional Christmas cookie recipes - from her to me to you.

Spice Cookies - from my Grandma Bee. Bee was a great cook: her chicken-n-dumplings are legendary and are my homecooked birthday meal of choice. Her cookies ain't bad either. These spice cookies are best when dunked quickly in cold milk.

1 lb. butter
1 1/2 c. brown sugar
1 1/2 c. white sugar
5 c. flour
1/2 Tbsp. ground cloves
1 Tbsp. allspice
1 Tbsp. nutmeg
1 Tbsp. cinnamon
1 Tbsp. baking soda
1 c. chopped nuts (doesn't specify but don't go with peanuts)

Cream the butter and two sugars together well. Dissolve the soda in 1/4 c. boiling water and add to the creamed mixture. Then sift the flour and spices together and add to the mixture. Stir in the chopped nuts; mix well. Refrigerate in rolls for at least a couple of hours. Slice the chilled dough thinly and bake at 350-375 for 10-20 minutes on an ungreaseed cookie sheet.

Grandma's Christmas Cookies - these are amazing cookies that I hated when I was little. But I loved making them because my folks would invite a bunch of people over to chop the nuts and dice the fruit; we'd all sit around the kitchen table, talking and laughing, the occasional brazil nut flying across the room. Now I like eating them too.

1 10 oz. package of dates
1/2 c. in-the-shell brazil nuts (it's more fun when they're in the shell)
1/2 c. in-the-shell almonds
1 c. in-the-shell pecans
1/2 c. candied pineapple
1/3 c. candied cherries
1/2 c. butter
1 egg
1 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1 c. flour
3 Tbsp. fruit juice

Cut the dates into medium pieces. Shell the nuts and chop them, and the candied fruit, coarsely. Combine butter, sugar, egg, salt and spices and blend well. Sift flour with baking soda and stir into creamed mixture with the fruit juice. Add nuts and fruits and mix well. Drop rounded tablespoonsful onto lightly greased cookie sheets about 2 inches apart and bake at 350 degrees for 15-18 minutes. Let the cookies cool a little before taking off the sheet - they get sticky.

Giant Ginger Cookies - Mom usually doubles this recipe. These cookies are so good (I really like ginger) and nicely chewy.

2 c. flour
1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. ground cloves
1 tsp. ground ginger
1 tsp cinnamon
3 tsp. baking soda
3/4 c. shortening (butter is recommended)
1 c. sugar, with extra sugar set aside for sprinkling
1 egg
1/4 c. molasses

Sift the flour with salt, spices and baking soda. Cream the butter and work in the cup of sugar. Stir egg and molasses into creamed mixture. Add in flour mixture gradually; mix well. Shape the dough into 1 1/2 inch balls. Roll in the set-aside sugar; place on ungreased cookie sheets. Flatten the dough balls with fingertips and sprinkle with sugar. Bake at 350 degrees for 8-10 minutes.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

My faux paws, really

Becky wanted me to relay to you all that she was extremely put out that I would mention "homemade dog biscuits" in my last post and then not provide the recipes. So, in an attempt to right this dastardly wrong and appease my dog, here they are. As an extra added bonus, these dog cookies are perfectly edible by humans so if you ever get stuck between grocery store runs, you won't go hungry.

Tasty Only to Dogs Dog Biscuits - Becky loves these ... but she loves everything so if your dogs are wicked picky, they may turn their snoots up at them.

1 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup whole wheat flour
1/2 cup wheat germ
1/2 cup powdered dry milk
1/2 tsp. salt
6 Tbsp. margarine, lard, chilled bacon fat or the shortening of your choice
1 egg
1 tsp. brown sugar

Combine the flours, wheat germ, powdered milk and salt in a bowl. Cut in the shortening until the mixture resembles corn meal. Beat the sugar separately with the egg. Then stir the egg mixture into the dry mixture, adding enough water to make a stiff dough (about 1/2 cup water). Knead the dough on a floured board until smooth, then roll to 1/2 inch thick. Cut into shapes [I have cookie cutters in the shapes of a pig and a dog bone]. Bake at 325 degrees for 25-30 minutes or until lightly browned. [I've found that dogs don't seem to mind if they're a little overdone.]

For variety, liver powder, dried vegetable flakes or cooked mashed green veggies or carrots may be added. You'll have to adjust the water accordingly.

Newf Breakfast Bars - compliments of my Newf friend, Annie. These treats actually look kind of like Clif Bars. Note: recipe can be halved easily and if you have a dog smaller than a Newfoundland, you might want to do that. Also, Annie says that "the treats should be kept in the fridge if you won't be using them within a week … since there aren't any preservatives in them they can turn into a science project." Thanks, Annie!

12 cups oatmeal
4 cups whole wheat flour
8 eggs
3/4 cup vegetable oil
2/3 cup honey
1/2 cup molasses
2 cups milk
1 large can pumpkin (optional)
3-4 mashed bananas

Preheat oven to 325. Grease two cookie sheets. Dump ingredients into a very large bowl and mix thoroughly. Pat onto cookie sheets; bake for 1 hour. Turn oven off, crack the door and allow cookies to cool. Remove pans and break the bars into whatever size you want.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Get the Christmas Spirits

'Tis the season - if you hadn't figured it out already from the Christmas crapola lining the store shelves since just after Halloween. I went to my first holiday party last Friday night; I've got one to go to this Saturday and then another next Saturday. I can hardly pack it all in: the multiple parties, the skiing, the beer-drinking after the skiing, the television-watching and matinee-going. I'm very busy, y'all.

Over the last few years I've made lots of Christmas treats for friends and family - infused vodkas, sugared- and spiced- nuts, homemade dog biscuits - I just don't know if I'll be able to do any of it this year, which is kind of sad. So, to alleviate my seasonal guilt just a bit, I thought I'd share some holiday recipes. That way YOU can make the sugarplums in case I don't get around to them.

Wassail - if you know the words, you really should sing them. Personally, I get lost after the first verse and a half.

1 gallon hard (or sweet) cider
10 cinnamon stick
1 Tbsp. allspice
1 bottle Calvados or Applejack
1/2 c. lemon juice
2 c. sugar (or less)

Combine all ingredients except for the Calvados and bring to a boil. Simmer for 15 minutes; add the Calvados and serve hot.

Hot Buttered Rum - it's a drink! it's a dessert! it's the most amazing thing ever! [N.B. This recipe makes a really lot so share with your friends or you'll be drinking it 'til Memorial Day.]

1 lb. butter, softened
1 lb. light brown sugar
2 tsp. cinnimon
1 lb. powdered sugar
1 qt. soft vanilla ice cream

cinnamon sticks/whipped cream/2 tsp. nutmeg

Cream the butter, sugars and spices until light and fluffy. Add the ice cream and stir until well blended. Spoon mixture into 2 qt. freezer container and freeze until ready to use (thaw slightly to serve).

Place 3 Tbsp. of the mixture and a shot of dark rum (or more or less to taste) into a large mug. Fill with boiling water and stir. Garnish with cinnamon stick, whipped ccream and a sprinkle of nutmeg.

Rum Balls - I got this recipe from a dear college friend from New Orleans who used to throw the most fabulous Christmas parties. He got this recipe from his mom, I think. I almost always make these; you just don't want to snack and drive with these cookies on your breath.

1/2 lb. vanilla wafers, ground or crushed.
1 c. powdered sugar, plus another cup set aside in a bowl
2 Tbsp. cocoa
1 c. chopped pecans
1/2 light corn syrup
1/4 c. rum (bourbon would work too, but then you can't really call them "rum balls")

Combine the dry ingredients; add the pecans. Mix the wet ingredients separately [according to my friend, the amount of rum can be doubled and usually is!]. Combine the wet and dry ingredients; stir until stiff. Coat clean and dry hands with powdered sugar and roll the dough out into little balls, then roll in the held-aside powdered sugar. Let stand until the sugar is absorbed by the rum balls, then roll in the powdered sugar again.

Monday, December 3, 2007

Heroes recap: “Powerless” – airdate 12/03/07 (S2E11)

Mohinder, bearing the cure-all blood, returns to his apartment in New York City where Sylar and Maya are waiting for him. “Hi, Dr. Suresh. What happened to your nose?” snarks Sylar. Things go downhill quickly when Maya lets slip that Sylar has lost his powers. Sylar pulls out a gun and Maya freaks, firing up the black eye goo of death until Sylar orders her to get it together. It is decided that they should all go to Mohinder’s lab for some blood work, and then Mohinder can cure Sylar and Maya. Nathan, Parkman and Mrs. Petrelli have a brief confab, then Mrs. Petrelli tells them where the virus is being held (Odessa, Texas) and the boys head off after it. As they leave, she thinks at Parkman that if he can’t change Peter’s mind, he may have to kill him: one shot through the head, just like Adam. Speaking of the devilishly handsome, he and Peter are strolling through Primatech in Odessa, Texas, when Hiro freezes time on them. Hiro and Peter spar a bit until Peter grabs the samurai sword and sends some voltage through it, knocking Hiro out. Time unfreezes and Adam looks down at his old friend Carp, then takes the sword, saying, “I believe this is mine.” Both Adam and Peter are looking delicious today, I might add.

Claire going through her father’s stolen files, adamant in her decision to go public and expose the Company. Her mom thinks it’s a dangerous idea but Claire is not to be dissuaded, snottily tossing her a you-don’t-know-what-it’s-like-since-you-don’t-have-abilities. Back at the Company, Elle is getting a serious dressing-down from her father. Bob tells her she can’t go out in the field any longer and stresses how disappointed he is in her. Elle is really upset, upset enough to apologize. When that doesn’t work, she goes to see Mr. Bennett and pretty much begs him to tell her what her father did to her. Bennett tells her that Bob had ordered the testing on Elle to continue even after she passed out from the stress and pain. She was seven years old at the time. Yikes. Elle runs out when Bob stops by to tell Bennett that Claire is causing trouble. Bennett is sassy at first and then starts to worry about his little girl.

In New Orleans, Ali Larter is trying really hard to act like a worried mom. Fortunately, Micah comes home soon and convinces her to help him find the kidnapped Monica. Primatech employees are getting tossed all over the place as Peter and Adam stride through the halls looking for the virus. “I believe it’s up to the left,” says Adam and, at a you’re-kidding look from Peter, protests, “Oh please, it was 30 years ago!” They find a big old vault and Peter gets to work opening it because he still stupidly trusts Adam. Plus, Adam reminds him that “the woman [he loves] is trapped in some horrible future … you can change that.” Oh whatever. Peter just needs to get over Caitlin already.

Sylar, Mohinder, Maya and Molly go into Mohinder’s lab (formerly known as Isaac’s studio). Mohinder is none too gentle taking a blood sample from Sylar to see what kind of virus he has. As he draws the blood, he looks up at the smoke detector … which is a hidden camera feed that Elle pulls up on the computer in Bob’s office. When Sylar turns towards the camera, she jumps up eagerly. “Sylar! Oh, Daddy, you’re going to be so proud of me.” That poor girl needs some serious therapy. I am really enjoying Kristin Bell in this role. Back in New Orleans, the thug has tied Monica in some derelict building. He splashes some gasoline around while she tries to reach her cell phone … which Micah is tracking by talking to it through his mom’s cell phone. He’s also changing all the traffic lights to green in their favor. Neat!

This next bit is hilarious. We hear, “Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down!” and Nathan, with Parkman riding piggyback, touches down on front of the Primatech building. Parkman jumps off and a grimacing Nathan stretches out his back, which totally cracks me up because Greg Grunberg is roughly twice the size of Adrian Pasdar. “We don’t talk about THAT ever again,” insists Parkman. “Agreed,” moans Nathan. As they turn to go into the building Hiro appears before them on the loading dock. He sees Nathan: “Flying man!” Parkman’s like, “Who is this guy supposed to be?” and Nathan tries not to roll his eyes too obviously.

West interrupts Claire and asks her to not go public with all the Heroes’ secrets, telling her – and rightly so – that exposing all the Heroes is not going to bring her father back. She hands him his Company file and tells him to get the hell out, turning around so he can’t see her sad face. Mr. Muggles yaps at her, then yaps at the front door which opens. Mr. Bennett walks in, “Hello, Claire-bear.” Claire’s face turns bright red and she tries not to faint at the sight of her alive and looking-good-in-all-black dad.

At Mohinder’s lab, Molly tries to locate Alejandro for Maya. She tells the older girl that her twin is dead – “he’s not anywhere” - and, predictably, Maya does not take that well. Just as Mohinder discovers that the Company injected Sylar with the same strain of virus that Niki has, Maya shrieks, “You killed my brother!” But before her eyes can rain black death upon everyone in the room, Sylar rolls his own eyes and shoots her. It’s friggin’ awesome. And long overdue, if you ask me, given how annoying Maya has been. “Now look what you made me do,” Sylar grumbles. Hee hee hee. While Molly whimpers, Sylar insists that Mohinder test the cure-all blood first on Maya and then, if it saves her, use it on him. A beaten Mohinder pulls the cure-all out of his bag and Sylar sighs. “You had it here all along? You and I have trust issues, Doctor.” Hee hee.

The Bennett family is fuh-reaking out over the return of their patriarch. Mr. Bennett tells Claire that she must cease and desist her quest to expose the Company. He has made a deal: if Claire lies low, he’ll go back to work for the bad guys. Claire sobs as her father, a Company man once again, walks out. In the Primatech basement, Peter has wrenched the vault door open. Hiro pops in to stop them and Peter telekineses him against a wall, choking him, as Adam goes into the vault. Parkman storms up, mind-pushing with all his might: “Let Hiro go. Go after Adam – he’s evil.” Unfortunately for Parkman, Peter is a much quicker study and starts mind-pushing back. Just as he’s about to smash Parkman into the wall, Nathan steps out to talk to his brother. Nathan uses his real superpower, Brotherly Love, and convinces Peter that Adam hasn’t been on the up and up. Peter rushes to the vault.

Meanwhile, inside the vault, Adam, who is holding the super-virus behind his back, and Hiro are in a standoff. There’s some back and forth (you were my friend, you killed my father, I’m going to live forever, etc.) before Hiro grabs onto Adam and teleports away … but not before Adam drops the vial containing the virus - uh-oh! Luckily, Peter enters just then and snatches up the vial before it can shatter. That was a close one. Peter destroys the virus with a finely controlled radioactive flare. The three amigos decide that the only thing to do is to hold a press conference and expose the Company for what it is. Nathan suggests that Parkman can use his mind-push to make sure that the public really hears the truth. However, the vault is of course on a hidden camera in the vent and while we aren’t shown for sure, I’m pretty sure Bob is watching that feed.

At the lab, the cure-all brings Maya back. Oh well. Sylar is way more psyched than I am and wants his shot right now. Elle picks now to come in, shouting Sylar’s name, fingertips crackling. He shoots at her. There’s much breaking glass as she hits him with some serious voltage but he manages to run out, clutching the cure-all. Down in New Orleans, Monica is about to get extra-crispy as the thug sets the basement on fire. Micah and Niki have tracked her down, however, and Niki swerves her little sedan in front of the van to stop the thug’s getaway. Even without her super strength, she pounds him – a swift kick to the nuts, then some pistol-whipping (this may be the first moment in this show’s history that I’ve actually liked Niki) –and runs into the burning building to rescue Monica. Monica makes it out but Niki is trapped. The building explodes, right in front of poor, probably orphaned Micah. Well, she wasn’t much use without her multiple personalities anyway.

Hiro teleports back to Japan and informs Ando that Adam/Kensei will never hurt anyone again: Hiro has teleported him into a coffin in the Nakamura family graveyard plot. Can someone who can’t be killed die of starvation? That’s pretty horrible. And damn cold – Hiro is one step closer to being a bad ass. Elle returns to the lab, moping that Sylar got away from her. She perks up a little when Mohinder thanks her, saying they owe her their lives. She is grateful for their gratitude.

Parkman and the Petrellis have set up their conference in the Odessa police department. Nathan starts speaking and goes on WAY too long with the introductory comments, although this gives the producers ample time to flashback on almost every important scene in the show’s 1.5-season history. But, because he takes too long, Nathan gets shot twice in the chest before he can tell anyone his secret. Peter clasps his (dying? not if they can get his birth daughter’s magical blood to him in time!) brother in his arms as Parkman gets a glimpse of the assassin. It looks like Mr. Bennett. A little while later, in New York, Angela Petrelli is on the phone with someone, tears glittering in her eyes. She says, “I know, it was unavoidable,” then adds, “You do know that you’ve now opened Pandora’s Box.” And that’s the end of Volume Two.

Volume Three: “Villains” – Sylar, a bit crispy around the edges from Elle’s high voltage blast, shoots up in an alleyway with the cure-all blood. His wounds quickly heal and he reaches out, fingers quivering. An empty can (spinach) flies across the alley, compliments of his newly returned telekinesis. “I’m back,” he growls, satisfied. It would have been funnier if he’d said, “I am what I am,” what with the spinach can and all, but I guess they weren’t really going for funny. And that’s all the Heroes we get until 2008.

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Book review: The Rozabal Line by Shawn Haigins

The Rozabal Line is a new thriller á la The DaVinci Code in which the author, through his fictional characters, investigates an actual world myth. In this case, the myth is quite controversial: what happened to Jesus after the crucifixion. We all know what the Bible says - even those of us who aren’t religious. This novel offers up another point of view.

Haigins’s far-flung plot is incredibly convoluted. At its simplest, a priest, Father Vincent Morgan, has been the recipient of visions of the crucifixion as well as some of his past lives. As he sets out to follow the clues contained in his visions, he stumbles upon the alternative religious theory that Jesus did not die upon the cross but was instead rescued and taken to India where he lived out the remainder of his life as a prophet, a husband, and a father. Obviously, the Catholic Church’s leaders do not want Father Morgan to find any proof of these theories and they send an assassin to stop him.

Further complicating things is the involvement of thirteen fringe terrorists (the leader of which it is insinuated may be descended from Christ and the twelve other men, when they are finally killed, are each murdered as each of the Twelve Disciples were killed) who are attempting to bring about Armageddon. This fringe group ultimately works for Osama bin-Laden who in turn is being manipulated by Opus Dei and the Illuminati (recently made popular in Dan Brown’s books).

Amid the religious quest and terrorism plot is an enormous amount of comparative religion information, some imparted as exposition-heavy dialogue between the fictional characters but mostly set forth in narrative flashbacks. There’s a lot of ground covered: for example, one chapter alone bounces from North India 3127 B.C., to the Indo-Nepal border 566 B.C., to the Judean Desert 26 A.D., to Persia 1000 B.C., to Syria 2000 B.C., to Egypt 3000 B.C., back to Persia 600 B.C., returning to Judea 23 A.D., then North India in 2001 A.D., Constantinople 337 and 553 A.D., France 185 A.D., and finally Turin, Italy 1988 A.D. The Christian Gospels, Judaism, Roman Catholicism, Hinduism, Buddhism and Shinto, the Dead Sea Scrolls and the Apocrypha all get discussed in a fair amount of detail, as well as the cult of the divine feminine and the beliefs of the ancient Greeks, Romans and Incans. There’s even some tantric yoga and past-life regression hypnotherapy thrown in for good measure.

The story part of the story is difficult to follow because of the many, many jumps between plotlines and timelines. In addition, I found that I really didn’t care what happened: so little time was spent with any of the various fictional characters that I was unable to relate to them. I was actually more interested in the comparative religion discussions than I was in the fiction. At one point, Haigins points out that many world religions have “gods, prophets, messengers or angels who [share] commonalities with Jesus Christ.” He mentions, among others, Osiris and Horus (Egyptian), Perseus, Hermes, Hercules and Adonis (Greek), Mithras (Indo-Iranian), Baldur (Norse) and Quetzalcoatl (Aztec), all of whom existed in legend prior to Jesus, and each of whom shared something with - or contributed something to - the Christian Messiah, whether it be virgin birth, performance of miracles or resurrection after death. I am not a religious person, but I have always loved to read different mythologies and I found this fascinating.

The Rozabal Line is Haigins’s first work of fiction. According to the “About the Author” note, he is currently working on two more books, another novel and a non-fiction book on the history of religions. Given this current novel’s strengths and weaknesses, I think the history text will be very interesting as Haigins obviously has a comprehensive knowledge of and affinity for the subject. I just may wait a little while before picking up his next cliff-hanger.

Friday, November 30, 2007

The Mist - mini-review

Frank Darabont gets my vote for most successful adaptions of Stephen King's works - which are notoriously difficult to adapt (Sometimes They Come Back, anyone?). Sure, I thought DePalma's Carrie was a bucketful of fun, Kubrick's The Shining gave me nightmares (creepy little twin girls in creepy giant hotels) and Rob Reiner's Stand By Me (from King's novella The Body) is lovely. But those were one-shots by accomplished directors. Darabont has come up with a solid trifecta: The Shawshank Redemption, The Green Mile and now The Mist, which makes him plenty accomplished in my book.

The Mist, set in a small town in Maine (surprise), is the story of what happens to people placed in extreme circumstances. In this case, the circumstances are getting trapped in a grocery store when a strange fog rolls into town ... and horrific beasties roll right in with it. The CGI beasties are okay but not great - I've read that there wasn't a very big budget for this movie and that's where it comes out. There's violence and blood (although torture-porn fans won't be impressed) and some icktastic deaths.

Darabont's cast is, for the most part, right on the money. Ollie, the assistant store manager, is a great character, forthright, brave and a surprisingly good shot. Thomas Jane's tragic hero is wonderful: he's human, he gets tired and terrified and is slightly confused when the others start looking to him for leadership. (Plus he drives a damn cool old Toyota Landcruiser - I covet that truck.) Marcia Gay Harden's character, Mrs. Carmody, is by far the most terrifying thing in the whole movie. A religious fanatic, she whips most of the store refugees into a frightened mob. (SPOILER - when Ollie finally shoots her, someone in the back of the theater shouted "Yes!" END SPOILER) The reason you want to see this movie is for the people - how they deal with terror, how they interact, what they change into under duress. What would you - or I - do in this situation? Try to fight no matter what? Hunker down and hope for rescue? Place faith in a higher power? Fall in with the panic and persecute a scapegoat? It's really scary stuff.

The ending has been changed from King's original story and man, is it bleak. Some purists will, of course, take issue with the change but I, a huge Stephen King fan, did not. Darabont's ending is ghastly (in a good way) and haunting. Nothing jumps, nothing gushes or oozes or rips. It's just harsh.

Finally, I'd like to report that seeing The Mist has gotten me a new little crush on Thomas Jane. The man is very pretty. He and Nathan Fillion should be put in a movie together. With puppies and a lot of chocolate. I'd pay good money to see that.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Heroes recap: “Truth and Consequences” – airdate 11/26/07 (S2E10)

The dropping: Everyone’s travelling this week. Easily leading Peter astray, Adam racks up the frequent flyer miles, going from Montreal to Maine to Texas, in search of the Shanti virus. Hiro, not needing frequent flyer miles, jumps from present day Japan to somewhere in 1977 to present day Texas, in search of Adam and the virus. Mohinder takes some of the anti-virus in his carry-on bag from New York to New Orleans, hoping to cure Niki. And Sylar and Maya, this year’s sketchiest couple, finally make it to New York, dumping some excess baggage along the way.

I can’t believe this boring and annoying episode is the follow-up to last week’s great one. Sigh. Peter for some reason is obsessed with saving that annoying Irish chick (about whom I’ve already forgotten) but Adam wants to “save the world,” not just one girl. They track down Victoria Pratt, who developed the Shanti virus, to make her tell them everything she knows about the virus. Bob delivers Bennett’s supposed ashes to the remaining Bennett family members and promises to leave them alone. Then he goes out to his car and tells Elle that it was her fault everything went wrong. She is ordered to follow Claire and keep an eye on her. Mr. Bennett awakens in the Company’s hospital cell and finds Mohinder there. “Didn’t you shoot me?” Bennett asks. Mohinder insists that he didn’t have a choice and has subsequently saved Bennett with Claire’s blood. Mohinder goes on to whine about all the good the Company is doing. Mohinder sucks.

Niki has come to New Orleans to tell Micah that she’s sick with the virus … but don’t worry, Mohinder is working on a cure. Meanwhile, Micah’s moronic cousin Damon takes Micah’s backpack containing his collection of rare comic books (and the medal D.L. received for firefighting valor) and gets the pack stolen by a bunch of thugs. Micah is pretty upset about this and wants Niki and Monica to use their powers and help him get the medal back. Niki refuses but Monica looks like she’s considering it.

EEEEEUUUUUWWWW and, also, boring: Sylar and Maya are drinking wine together in a park. He manipulates her into controlling her own power, thus obviating the need for Alejandro. Maya is annoying and Sylar is creepy. Hiro and Ando are going through Kaito’s belongings, looking for a clue as to where Kensei might be hiding these days. They find a photo of him from 1977 and, luckily, it has his new, non-1671 Japanese name written on the back. Hiro time-travels back to 1977 to learn more. He watches his ‘70s-era father lock Adam up for trying to spread the pandemic virus; then he watches ‘70s-era Victoria Pratt try to convince Kaito to shut down the Company’s virus program. Hiro totally misses the point that his father was promoting the production of these viruses and therefore was not entirely a good guy.

Adam and Peter have found Victoria Pratt in “Searsmont, Maine” – I don’t think it looks much like Maine, actually. Victoria tries shooting them both but she misses their heads so they just heal. Peter uses his stolen Parkman-power to pull the location of the mutated virus out of her head and then Adam kills her. Peter is stupid enough not to get worried about his new partner’s itchy trigger finger. Also, Milo Ventimiglia is making some weird acting choices here. Maya tells Alejandro that she can now control her own power and isn’t it wonderful! Ever the buzzkill, he shows her an article he’s found saying that Sylar is wanted for the murder of his own mother. Sylar talks his way out of that one, even tearing up a little. Stupid Maya argues with Alejandro, saying that she too is a murderer and she chooses to stick with Sylar. Soon afterwards Alejandro confronts Sylar alone and Sylar quickly stabs him in the chest, killing him. Maya knocks on Sylar’s door to thank him for all he’s done for her and they totally start contrivedly making out. Maya and Peter could start their own “I’m stupid” club.

West finds Claire searching through the moving boxes, looking for the wind chimes that will summon the Haitian: she wants him to delete all her memories of her dad because it hurts so much. West comforts her as best he can, telling her that forgetting her father is not the way to go. She realizes he’s right. Mohinder has put together a cure for Niki’s virus using a combination of his and Claire’s blood. He’s going to take it to Niki in New Orleans. But before he does that, he gets all manly and tells Bob that he wants to hunt down and destroy all the remaining viral strains. Like Bob’s going to take orders from you, you hack. In New Orleans, Monica and Micah sneak out to get the comics and the medal back. Monica downloads some sweet climbing moves from her video iPod and infiltrates the thugs’ house. Unfortunately, they come back while she’s in there. They grab her, knock her unconscious and throw her in the back of their van. Why doesn’t her fancy muscle memory kick in from all she’s learned before – she doesn’t even fight back! Unseen and in way over his head, Micah runs for help.

Claire spreads what she thinks are her dad’s ashes by the ocean and sniffles that she’s sorry. As she’s saying goodbye to West, she sees Elle who is not so stealthily drinking a supergiant Slurpee in her car. Elle drops her drink because she’s clumsy with her arm in the sling. There’s an odd editing jump and then she gets out of the car to confront Claire. I don’t know why she doesn’t just zap Claire – maybe she can’t spark so well if she’s wounded – instead letting the younger girl get all up in her face. Veronica Mars would never have put up with that from a cheerleader. Punching in the car window for effect, Claire says she’s going to go public with her abilities and tell the world what the Company did to her father. Mohinder, in a New Orleans cab, gets a phone call: it’s Sylar and Maya, calling from Mohinder and Parkman’s apartment in NYC. Mohinder wigs, understandably. I don’t know why little Molly is alone there in the apartment – where is Parkman? He wouldn’t leave her there by herself.

Peter and Adam have gotten to the Primatech Paper Co. in Odessa, Texas, and are heading to the labs in the lower levels. Suddenly, everything freezes but Peter: it’s Hiro, stopping time, but since Peter can do that too, he is apparently immune to the effect. Brandishing his sword, Hiro says that he’s here to avenge his father’s murder. Peter says he can’t let Hiro hurt Adam. Um, hello? He’s, like, invincible, you incredible dumbass. Hiro says he’s got to try anyway and rushes at Peter, sword raised. Peter starts to spark up and prepares to fight.

Next week: Mr. Bennet comes back (thank god!). And it looks that that fool Mohinder has dropped the syringe with the magic Claire+Mohinder blood cocktail so that Sylar can find it, inject himself and get back to being a bad guy.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Fall television report card update

I should probably wait to do this post until the networks completely run out of new episodes due to the Writers' strike but since they're going to run out any minute now, I figure what the heck. Way back in the beginning of September I outlined my hopes and dreams for the fall 2007 television season. In this post, a little bit later, I gave Pushing Daisies an A, Chuck a B+, Reaper a B-, Bionic Woman a C and Moonlight a D+. Now it's three months later, the end of new television episodes is looming large and I'm superthankful that I have a Blockbuster Online queue with 300+ DVDs in it.

Shows that I have long since broken up with: Reaper - even the great Ray Wise cannot overcome a boring relationship storyline that insists on pushing itself to the forefront. Moonlight - I tried one more ep recently and yup, it's still awful. Bionic Woman - Katee Sackhoff left BSG for this dreck? Her agent should be beaten. Desperate Housewives - there's not nearly enough Nathan Fillion to make me want to suffer through Susan and Gabi's bullshit.

Shows that are in the doghouse: CSI/Las Vegas - we're still (stubbornly) watching and are hoping that dreary Sarah Sidle's departure will put the spring back in their step. More Warrick! More Brass! Better crimes!

Shows that I am faithful to: Chuck - it's continuing to get better but there should be even more Adam Baldwin. Friday Night Lights - I think they made a mistake in cutting most of the football and replacing it with that stupid Landry-kills-a-guy-for-Tyra storyline; on the plus side, I can't decide if I want Coach Taylor to be my father or my husband (thanks to Anna B. for the paraphrase there). The Office - I prefer the half-hours to the full-hours and the last new episode was depressing as hell (Michael Scott getting grilled by the Dunder Mifflin lawyers about his relationship with Jan) but this show continues to be generally brilliant and so, so funny.

I heart these shows: Heroes - I know, this sophomore season limped along early on but I think Tim Kring has listened to the ranting of the fans and is (or was or will be when the strike is resolved) changing things ... the episode last week was as good as anything last season. [Note: we've had houseguests tonight so I haven't seen tonight's episode yet; recap will be up tomorrow night - sorry!]. Dexter - again, this season lagged a bit at the start but has been building steam nicely. Plus, Dexter's sister is sleeping with Wild Bill Hickok! Torchwood - a couple of the episodes were just cheesy beyond belief, even for a Dr. Who spin-off, but this is generally good sci-fi stuff, including better sex than on most American shows and what was the scariest television episode I've seen since "Home" (X-Files). Pushing Daisies - this has got to be the darling of the fall. Vivid, funny, twisted and clever, it just keeps getting better and better. I love Kristin Chenoweth!

Shows I am waiting (and waiting and waiting) for: Battlestar Galactica - I've got the recent Razor miniseries sitting in the DVR but I don't understand why the third season isn't out on DVD yet. Very frustrating. Lost - I am continuing to be hopeful here but Mr. Mouse is on the verge of giving up (he wants some answers). Plus, more Sayid/Hurley/Jin and less (much less) whiny Jack and Kate, please.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Death Proof - mini-review

As I mentioned a couple of posts ago, I misssed the Grindhouse double feature when it was in the theaters and am only now catching up. I really enjoyed Robert Rodriguez's goofy, gory movie and was very excited to see Tarantino's offering. Unfortunately, I think Planet Terror wins the competition - I was underwhelmed* by Death Proof.

It's too frickin' long is the main complaint. I know Tarantino has a gift for rapid-fire, glib dialogue, but enough already! The story is simple: the bad guy, Stuntman Mike (played by an over-the-top but still excellent Kurt Russell) preys on young women. He picks them out, picks them up and kills them with his muscle car which has been tricked out to be "death proof" for the driver. Now I didn't time it, but it took FOREVER for the first group of girls to get killed, albeit in an impressively and horrifically creative way when it finally happened. Blah, blah, blah - they're young, sassy and sexy and Stuntman Mike likes to take their girl power away from them. Well, fine, but hurry it up. Then fourteen months later, he tries it again but this time the girls he picks are stuntwomen themselves and they fight back, eventually kicking Mike's ass in a big way. The car chase at the end is amazing (no CGI, from what I understand - all old school stunts) but again, by the time it happened, I was pretty bored from all the blah blah blah.

I still wish I'd seen the double feature in the theater - particularly since the DVDs I rented did not have all the fake trailers which were supposed to be outstanding (guess I'll go troll YouTube for them). But I think it would have been tough to sit through what with Death Proof being (or at least seeming) so long.

* Except for the soundtrack which was incredible - as all Tarantino's movie soundtracks seem to be. I especially liked "Chick Habit" by April March.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Mouse Family Thanksgiving 2007

I love Thanksgiving but - oof - I sure do eat a lot! We had another epic dinner at my parents' house: nineteen people, including Mr. Mouse and me, the Mouse-in-laws, my brother, my Maine uncle, aunt and cousins, and two sets of good family friends. The food was just outstanding as it always is. Cheese, crackers, crudites and raw oysters to start: if you've never tried raw oysters with a dab of wasabi and splashed with saki, you're missing a treat - briny and sweet and with a bit of a bite from the wasabi.

My folks make the two turkeys, the mashed potatoes, gravy (my dad makes great gravy - full o' giblets) and the dressing. Usually we have two different kinds of dressings, one that's my grandma's recipe (heavy on the sage - mmmmmm) and one that's got tinned oysters, but this year the tinned oysters were way off so we went with shellfish-free dressing instead. Everyone else brings the sides. We had roasted root veggies (carrots, parsnips, yams and potatoes - maybe salsify?) with a cream sauce, green beans, sweet potato casserole, a great green salad with apples and bleu cheese, cranberry-orange relish and cheesy-onion bread. The recipes for the green beans and the sweet potatoes are below; I'll post the roasted root vegetables as soon as I get the recipe from my aunt/mom.

And finally, pies, spectacular pies, my favorite part of the meal. I'll take pie over cake any day of the week. It's no wonder that I'm loving Pushing Daisies where pie plays a starring role! We had two pumpkins, two pecans, one blue-blackberry, one pumpkin ice cream, one banana cream, one mincemeat (with REAL mincemeat - venison and all!), one five-layer coconut cake (okay, not technically a pie, but still dang tasty and so moist) and twenty-four of those little pumpkin-coconut tartlets, which no one even bothered with because there was so much else to indulge in. Just amazing. I haven't had banana cream pie for years and I can't even tell you when (if ever) I've had real mincemeat. So, so good. And since Mr. Mouse doesn't like pie (blasphemy!), I get to eat all the leftovers we brought home. Guess I shouldn't stop trotting on the treadmill quite yet.

Here are the two recipes I promised. Enjoy them. The beans are wicked easy (you can do them ahead of time which is great) and the sweet potatoes are the best you'll ever taste. If I'm wrong, let me know; if I'm right, let me know too. In fact, I'd love to hear your T'giving stories/favorite pies/any of it.

Green Beans with Tapenade Dressing (from Martha Stewart Living, June 2000).

Coarse salt; freshly ground black pepper
1 lb. green beans
1/4 cup black olive tapenade
1 clove garlic, minced (or more to taste)
1/2 cup coarsely chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley
2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil

Bringa medium saucepan of salted water to a boil. Plunge trimmed beans into boiling water and cook until bright green and tender, 2-3 minutes. Drain, and rinse in cold water to stop the cooking. Transfer beans to a serving bowl and toss well with tapenade, garlic, parsley and olive oil. Season with salt and pepper. Serve at room temperature.

Maryann A's Sweet Potato Casserole (usually doubled for a Thanksgiving crowd)

3 cups mashed sweet potatoes (4 large)
1/2 cup brown sugar
2 beaten eggs
1/2 stick margarine, melted
1/2 cup milk
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla

Combine all the ingredients and spoon into a buttered shallow casserole dish.

For the topping, combine another 1/2 cup brown sugar, 1/3 cup flour, 1 cup chopped pecans and 1/3 stick margarine into a crumble. Spread over the sweet potato mixture. Bake at 350 degrees for 35 minutes. (Serves eight and can be made ahead and frozen, then thawed and baked before serving.)

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Heroes recap: “Cautionary Tales” – airdate 11/19/07 (S2E9)

The dropping: The episode title is “Cautionary Tales” but it should be “Mr. Bennett is all kinds of bad ass.” Elle gets a wake-up call. Hiro grows up a little. Parkman begins to be seduced by his powers. Mohinder completely goes over to the dark side.

The Bennetts are packing up their house and getting ready to leave Costa Verde but Claire refuses to go. She announces that her father is a bad man for what he did to West. Bennett threatens to tie her up to get her to behave but Mrs. Bennett intercedes, sending her daughter off to school. “I hate you,” Claire tells her father through gritted teeth. We cut to Japan, present day, at Hiro’s father’s funeral. Hiro is supposed to eulogize Kaito but he won’t do it, saying he is going back in time to rescue his father. Over Ando’s protests, Hiro blinks out of time and back one week ago to the NYC rooftop as Kaito speaks with Angela Petrelli.

Matt Parkman and Molly are having breakfast together and Molly offers to locate some of the people in the Company group photo. Parkman doesn’t want her to do that and discovers that he get her to do what he wants by thinking the suggestion at her. He no longer just reads peoples’ minds; he gets them to do what he wants. Bob and Mohinder have arrived in Costa Verde. Bob tells Mohinder that they’re there to snatch Claire and “take out” Mr. Bennett. Mohinder is uneasy about the murdering bit so Bob introduces him to Elle, who has been working on her sharp shooting. She looks sassily at Mohinder’s bandaged nose and chirps, “Hey, Fight Club, check this out!” She points her finger at her rum punch and delicately shatters the glass. That’s some fine motor control there! Plus, calling him “Fight Club” is funny.

Claire flags West down on his way to school. She promises him that she wasn’t spying on him for her father and tells him that although her family is leaving town, she’s staying because of West. West wants to believe her but can’t quite, and flies away to figure things out. Who’s she going to stay with if she stays behind? Teenagers never think things through. Parkman’s boss wants him to stop wasting his time with the Kaito Nakamura case. Annoyed, Parkman telepaths forth a suggestion, and the boss suddenly says Parkman has 24 hours and can interview Angela Petrelli again. “Good idea,” smugs Parkman. Ooh, I can see this going to a dark place – Parkman’s going to have a tough time withstanding temptation.

Mr. Bennett shows his wife the other Isaac paintings, including the one where he gets shot in the eye. “It’s all falling apart,” he says. Bennett then calls Mohinder on his cell to ask Molly to locate West, not realizing that Mohinder is in Costa Verde and looking for him. Mohinder reports in to Bob and Elle and suggests setting up a trap for Bennett. Bob reluctantly agrees to try Mohinder’s plan and Elle gropes Mohinder, in a sociopathic way, as she straps him into his shoulder holster. Back in the one-week ago past, Hiro confronts his father after Angela leaves the rooftop and tells Kaito that this night is the night he is killed. Kaito is willing to accept his fate but Hiro won’t and blinks them out of time. Yes, Hiro, apparently you have learned nothing about messing up the space-time continuum from your sojourn in 1671. Back in California, Mr. Bennett stomps out of the house to look for West. Just as he gets out the door, however, West swoops down, grabs him and flies off.

Way up in the sky, West reminds Bennett that he can only fly – he doesn’t have super strength and can’t hold onto him much longer. Bennett reassures West that Claire protected him: “You must be pretty important to her.” West brings them both back to earth. As soon as they touch down, Bennett slams the boy into the ground, growling that West is going to use his influence over Claire to get her to leave town tonight with her family. Bennett’s cell phone rings: it’s Mohinder, who lies that West can be found at the corner of A and B Streets. Bennett, who is kneeling on West’s back, looks up at the conveniently nearby X and Y Street signs and figures that Mohinder is up to no good. He promises to be right over anyway. West wants to know what’s going on. Bennett says Claire’s in trouble and he needs West’s help.

At school, the cheerleaders are practicing to some APPALLINGLY cheesy music when Bob, posing as a school administrator, tries to speak with Claire alone, presumably about the drunken cheerleader incident. He blows it, however, calling her by her real last name and she runs out of there. When Bennett arrives at the corner of A and B Streets, Mohinder jumps into the car and says that the Company just wants to borrow Claire for her blood, to save lives. “You’ve gone native,” marvels Bennett, “you sound like me ten years ago.” He tries to reason with Mohinder but that stupid git just pulls his gun out and tells Bennett to start driving. When Claire gets back to her house, her mom is there … and so is Bob with his own gun.

Bennett and Mohinder drive off to somewhere and get out of the car. Bennett wants to know who Mohinder’s partner is, seeing how it’s “Company policy: one of them, one of us.” Then he sees Elle – they know each other. Mohinder, still holding the gun on Bennett as Elle approaches, looks as though he’s in way over his head. Uh, yeah. Elle starts charging up the blue blazes but before she can deliver, West flies in, grabs her and rams her into the top of a car, knocking her unconscious. Mohinder starts to panic, raising the gun. Bennett takes the gun away and after Mohinder gets in one decent right hook, punches the good doctor right in his broken nose. Yikes - and also, serves him right. Mohinder falls to his knees, cradling his nose in both hands so that it looks like he’s praying. Bennett cocks the gun and holds it to his head: “You lie to me, betray me, you come after my daughter – how’d you think it was going to end?” He is SO fucking scary right now. But a nervous West interrupts, “Mr. Butler, what are you doing?” and Bennett unfortunately does not shoot the annoying, weak-minded and traitorous Mohinder, instead kicking him, quite possibly in the nuts, and slamming his head into the side of the car.

Bennett rushes home to find Mrs. Bennett duct-taped to a chair. Bob has Claire! But Bennett has “collateral,” and West walks in with the still-unconscious Elle slung over his shoulder. Bennett very seriously asks his wife, “Did you pack Mr. Muggles’s doggy bath?” She looks at him as though he’s lost his mind. He hasn’t, though: he chains Elle to a chair and puts her bare feet in the galvanized dog bath, filling it with water. Then he hoses her down to wake her up. “I need to get in touch with your father,” Bennett says conversationally. Elle is furious, “What, do you think this is my first day?” and fires up the charge. She must have missed that day in ninth grade science class because the electrical charge swirls around the chains on her wrists and the galvanized tub and flows back into her. She screams and screams. It’s pretty awful; West and Mrs. Bennett are slightly horrified. “Stings like a bitch, doesn’t it?” notes Bennett.

Oh my word, I’m scarcely halfway done with the episode. I gotta get a move on or I’ll be here all night.

Bennett tells Elle that he knows all about her ability, that he was there when her father brought her in for testing. “The human brain isn’t built to take that much electricity. You poor girl.” When she says that her father wouldn’t have let that happen, he says, “Your father was leading the charge.” Get it? “Charge.” She’s hurt but insists that she doesn’t remember anything. Bennett points out that the Haitian stripped her memories and then Elle starts to feel really bad for herself. Bennett calls Bob on Elle’s phone and sets up the meeting. Bob agrees to it and then siphons out at least a pint of Claire’s blood. She allows him to do so, “Just leave my dad alone. No one has to die.” And on her last sentence, the camera zooms in on her magic blood coursing through the tubing.

Boring. Hiro has brought his father seventeen years ago to Hiro’s mother’s funeral. Whatever point Hiro was trying to make gets rendered moot when he realizes that he needs to honor his father’s wish to follow his fate. He brings them back to the night of Kaito’s death. They exchange their goodbyes and Hiro blinks out. Moments later, Kaito’s mystery attacker (who I think is Adam) grabs Kaito and launches them both off the rooftop. Suddenly they freeze in mid-air: Hiro steps out, saying while he can’t save his father, he can discover his murderer. He takes a closer look and yes, it is Kensei/Adam. Hiro is surprised but none of us viewers are. How unsuspenseful was that?

Bennett and West head off to meet Bob for the blonde girl swap. Bennett is starting to like West because the boy clearly cares for his daughter. It’s kind of cute if you can forget about how West stalked her early on. Bennett tries to say goodbye to his wife, just in case, but she won’t hear of it, insisting that he’ll be bringing Claire back. This makes me think that Mohinder really will shoot him and if they kill off Mr. Bennett while allowing that weenie Mohinder to live, I will be SO ANGRY.

Parkman interrogates Angela Petrelli again. She says she is less impressed with him than she was with his father. Parkman tells her that he is able to “push” now as well as “pull” (ooh – using his mind to “push” people to do things is just like those X-Files episodes! Those were good ones). She’s nervous now and asks him not to do this but she can’t withstand the telepathic insistence on her honesty and begins to answer his questions. She’s fighting him, though - she is one tough lady. She tells Parkman a bunch of stuff we already know (Adam is out for revenge, his cellular regeneration has stopped the normal aging process, etc.). When Parkman asks about the last unnamed woman in the photograph, Angela begs him not to do this: if he pulls this secret out of her head, he’ll become his father. He gives the mind-push and her nose starts to bleed.

Bennett, West and Elle stand on one side of the parking lot as Bob, Mohinder and Claire drive up. Bennett instructs West to fly away with Claire as soon as she’s clear, no matter what happens. Claire and Elle cross to their respective fathers, Elle burning through her bonds. West grabs Claire and flies up with her but Elle turns and sends a bolt of electricity at him; they fall, Claire turning mid-air so she can cushion West’s landing. Bennett, not well pleased, shoots Elle in the arm, dropping her with a cry, and Bob runs to her side. Bennett stalks up to them: “No matter what I do, we’ll always be running. But if you die, Bob, the Company dies with you.” He points his gun at Bob’s head, Elle crying in her father’s arms. As Bennett cocks his gun, that motherfucker Mohinder shoots him right through his left eye, just like in Isaac’s painting. Are you kidding me? That weaselly little twit brings down Bennett? Claire screams and tries to run to her father but West takes her away, successfully this time. Bob looks at his fallen adversary and his expression is enigmatic and a little sorrowful.

West brings Claire home and watches as she goes inside to tell her mother what happened. Mrs. Bennett collapses to her knees. It’s sad. We close with a voiceover – not that asshole Mohinder, thankfully – but Hiro’s eulogy for his father. The shots fade from Kaito’s funeral; to Mohinder staring balefully at his gun; to Bob trying to check on Elle’s gunshot wound and Elle shrugging him off, angry that he directed the Company’s testing on her; to Parkman who has dragged the woman’s name, Victoria Pratt, out of Angela’s head; to the Bennetts, mourning their loss; to an IV bag full of Claire’s blood, dripping into Mr. Bennett’s arm. We see his ruined eye regenerate and he gasps for air, alive. Yes! Mohinder is so going to get his ass kicked.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Deadwood recap – “Boy-the-Earth-Talks-To” (S2E12)

The dropping: Alma and Ellsworth get married, Jane gets a pair of clean drawers, George Hearst gets to town, Wu gets his revenge, Cy gets what's coming to him and Al gets in bed with Yankton.

As his hapless guard snoozes, Wu sneaks out of the Gem and back to Celestial Alley. He summons two henchmen who distract and kill one of Li’s men. As they try to run away, Li appears and shoots one of them. Wu confronts Li and, just as things are about to get really ugly, Johnny (who is in the area purchasing meat for the Gem) drags Wu back to the saloon. The morning stage arrives under Al’s watchful eye. Commissioner Jarry excitedly gets a telegraph, presumably from Yankton. Bullock and Martha have their morning coffee, strangely sitting side by each, staring at the wall. These two just need to get over it and act like normal people. Finally, she asks him if it would be okay with him if she continues with her plan to be the camp’s schoolteacher. She’s going to stay! He reaches out and grabs her hand. Cy gets word that Hearst has arrived in the morning’s coach and sends Con Stapleton to get more information.

Al is furious with his lackeys for allowing Wu to escape and possibly ruining his plan. He even hits poor Johnny (!) before sending E.B. to fetch Hearst for a meet and greet to discuss the potential Chinese conflagration. Hearst (Gerald McRaney) is breakfasting with Wolcott and catching up on the situation in camp. He seems a fairly decent man at first glance, his particular passion being getting the “color” out of the ground. E.B. eels up to their table and delivers Al’s invitation to Hearst. Muttering and swearing to himself, Ellsworth stomps into the hardware store and Sol shoos out a customer to deal with him: the wedding is today and the groom is all a-twitter about the lavender “mittens” (dress gloves) he has to wear.

Hearst arrives at the Gem and he and Al adjourn upstairs, far from E.B. Al has his roughshod charm cranked up to 11 and shouts to Dan to bring Wu up to the meeting. To sum up: Hearst really doesn’t care which Chinese man runs Celestial Alley just so long as he has Chinese labor for his mines. He gives Al the go-ahead for Wu to take control back from Li. As E.B. escorts Hearst back to the hotel, Hearst offers him $100,000 to buy the place, allowing E.B. to remain on premises as manager. E.B., who is getting increasingly crazy with every episode, thinks that will be a fine price. (Mr. Mouse points out that $100,000 would have been a ridiculously large amount of money for that piece of property back then.)

Jarry brings Yankton’s offer to Al; Al chases him out, needing time to review the document. He and Adams sit down to go over the proposal, “study[ing] for our fuckin’ lives,” sighs Al. At the Chez Amie, Joanie convinces Jane to wear a dress, and also underwear, to the wedding, saying that funeral clothing will doom the newlyweds. Cy, who has been feeling increasingly marginalized of late, finds Hearst and tells him that he expects some recompense for cleaning up after Wolcott’s murder spree at the Chez Amie. Hearst has a momentary pause when Cy tells him what happened, but covers and walks away with a nod.

Oh, whatever. Alma walks the thoroughfare, a worried look on her face, and voiceovers to her dead husband her concerns about her impending nuptials and her impending child. She says, “He is a good man - and he whom I love is here as well.” I will be very cross if she strands poor Ellsworth at the altar. Hearst and Wolcott reconvene in Hearst’s new hotel – he’s going to tear down some walls – and the boss man wastes no time demanding an explanation for his employee’s actions. Wolcott really has no explanation and Hearst, nicely enough given the situation, fires him. Wolcott is pretty upset about it.

Al and Adams make some amendments to Yankton’s proposal: the elections will be held in six weeks; voters must have lived in camp at least two weeks to vote; and, although it pains him to do so, Al refuses the $50,000 payment from Yankton to him, not wanting a record of the bribe. Their machinations complete, Al summons Jarry and sends Adams to fetch “his holiness the sheriff.” Sol and Trixie walk by, heading to the wedding, and Al tosses down an envelope with a gift for the bride. Trixie looks very pretty in her decent pink dress. Hearst’s lackey delivers the $100,000 to E.B. who is beside himself with giddiness. Tom Nuttal stops by the Gem to consult with Al about an offer he’s had on his saloon. Al tells him not to sell and reminds him that it wasn’t his fault William Bullock died, then they giggle over the afternoon’s nuptials. It’s a nice little scene.

The wedding takes place in the hotel foyer. It goes on way too long but thankfully we cut back and forth between the actual wedding and the symbolic wedding between Deadwood and Yankton as Al, Jarry and Bullock seal the deal. After the document is signed, Jarry shakes Bullock’s hand; the sheriff surreptitiously wipes his palm on his coat as the commissioner leaves. Then Al holds out his own hand and Bullock shakes it without hesitation. Alma does not back out of her new marriage at the last minute although she does look as though she might faint. And we get a quick glimpse of Wolcott in his hotel room writing a letter. There is a length of rope coiled on the bed next to him. I think he’s taking his firing very badly. Oh, look, Charlie is back – yay!

The ceremony over and it’s time for the party. Some hooplehead leers at Jane in her dress and she decks him for it. Charlie walks up and gives her a big old grin. “Welcome the fuck back,” she grunts. Dan, Adams and Johnny get dressed in Chinese clothing and masks; Wu puts on a mask too and they head out, hefting axes. In another scene that goes on way too long, Hearst summons Cy to pay him for taking care of Wolcott’s mess. There are two big bags of gold on the table but Cy, the greedy bastard, wants a percentage of Hearst’s gold claims. Hearst does not look as though he likes that idea very much.

The masked gang gets to Celestial Alley and begins systematically hacking Li’s people to bits. Wu himself slits Li’s throat as the “San Francisco cocksucker” is getting stoned on opium. Bullock leaves Al’s office but can’t bring himself to depart the Gem quite yet. He grabs himself a bottle of whiskey, not wanting to join the wedding celebration. Everyone really is having a good time at the party, except for Cy who confronts Andy the preacher, taunting him. Andy snarls, “God is not mocked, you sonofabitch.” He steps up close to Cy and sticks a knife in his gut. Bleeding badly, Cy staggers back to the Bella Union. Joanie, who watched the entire interaction between Andy and Cy, has a bemused expression on her face. Another person not having fun at the party is Wolcott who has just hung himself (unnoticed except by Hearst’s lackey) from a balcony near the Chez Amie.

Wu and the boys stagger back to the Gem, tired from their murder spree. Wu and Swedgen reconfirm their alliance and then Wu cuts off his pigtail, saying “Wu – America!” Al goes back inside and sees Bullock, still doing shots at the bar. “Don’t you have a fucking home to get to?” Bullock realizes that yes he does, and goes outside. He and Alma look at each other for a moment across the crowd. On his balcony, Al notices this, because he notices everything, and mutters, “I believe [your home] is to your fuckin’ right.” And Bullock turns away from Alma, to his right, and heads home.

Next episode/previous episode

Friday, November 16, 2007

Beowulf - mini-review

For the first time in my life I can honestly say I wish I had read Beowulf in college. It didn't actually appeal to me all that much back then, which is odd given my predilection for myths, legends and fairy tales (I guess it was a poetry issue). But having seen Robert Zemeckis's film version this afternoon, I feel as though I might have gotten more out of the movie if I hadn't had to struggle for the story amid the accents and the motion-capture facial expressions.

I liked this movie - I didn't love it. I had difficulty sympathizing with any of the characters. Beowulf is brave, yes, but he's a liar and a braggart and gets led around by his libido. The old king is just like the hero, only older and fatter and drunker. The young queen has neither power nor personality. Most of the other folks are interchangeable monster-fodder hidden under their helmets. I think the animation kept me from emotionally investing in the characters: unlike traditional animated movies (like Monsters, Inc. or The Incredibles) where it is clearly a cartoon, Beowulf had nearly photo-realistic moments that drew me in, only to be rudely jarred by the next scene that was less real. Also, there were many shots that had obviously been done for the 3D effect - a little more subtlety would have gone a long way.

I very much agree with Harry over at AICN that it is nice to have an adult story told in this format but I was definitely distracted by the actors' animation. (If you click through to Harry's rave review you can get a plot run-down as well.) The monsters were impressive, however. Grendel took turns breaking my heart with his physical torment and revolting me with his tormented physique. I was thankful that he only had a few lines because I couldn't understand word one of them, Crispin Glover's take on an ancient Danish accent, I suppose. And the dragon who fights Beowulf when he is an old king, well, the dragon is just magnificent. I'm a sucker for a good-looking dragon too.

I'm glad I went to see it in the theater - I can't imagine it'll translate to a little television screen all that well - and I am glad I saw it. It just doesn't hold a candle to 300 (which is funny because, according to imdb, Gerard Butler played Beowulf in a 2005 live action version).

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Planet Terror - mini-review

I did not get to see the Robert Rodriguez/Quentin Tarantino Grindhouse doublefeature when it was in theaters this past spring (summer?), in large part because it was in Maine theaters for all of about six minutes. After watching Planet Terror on DVD tonight, I really wish I'd seen these films all together on a big screen, the way they were supposed to be seen - what a frickin' hoot!

Planet Terror was the first movie of the double bill. Loaded to the rafters with cast (Rose McGowan, Freddy Rodriguez, Josh Brolin, Bruce Willis, Michael Biehn, Sayid from Lost), it's a horror/action flick complete with zombie-like mutant humans, a corrupt government, the best BBQ in Texas and really, really hot women (Rose = thermonuclear level of hot). You want bloody, oozing, putrescent gore? Got it. Explosions and fireballs and loads of weaponry? Check. Cheating wives, go-go dancers and sibling rivalry? You betcha. And Robert Rodriguez is still a clever enough director to yank you out of the orgy of violence and goo with the unexpected (and mercifully off-camera) death of a child by self-inflicted handgun accident. You think you can't be shocked amid all the carnage but yes, yes, you can, first by the dog and then by the boy. Jeesh. But then, lest things get too somber, they give the one-legged stripper a machine gun prosthetic and all is well in this ridiculous world once more.

I thought this movie was great fun. True, some of the jokes ran a little long (enough with the secret BBQ recipe already - and this coming from a serious BBQ fan). And this is a violent and exploitative movie ... which is exactly what it was supposed to be. Anyone looking for anything more is just being foolish and also a party-pooper. Rodriguez set out to give us a grindhouse experience, complete with schlock, seedy previews, scratchy film - even a "missing reel." He did it and I for one am glad he did. I can't wait to see how Tarantino's Death Proof stacks up.

Mr. Mouse - this movie is not for you. You'd like the girls but little else.