Book review: Ready Player One by Ernest Cline

In 2044, humans have pretty much murdered the Earth.  Nearly all the fossil fuel has been depleted, leading to a serious energy crisis; the environment is shot to hell what with climate change, people are starving, plants and animals are dying off in record numbers, the seas are rising.  It's a crappy world outside and so most people, if they've got the means, spent most of their time in the OASIS - a massive virtual reality program.  School is taught there, people's jobs (if they have them) are there, and in your free time you can live and game in limitless scenarios.  The guy who created OASIS, James Halliday, was an eccentric genius, obsessed with the 1980s.  When Halliday died without heirs, he launched a game, hiding an Easter egg in a series of complex puzzles located throughout the OASIS.  The person who finds the Easter egg gets all of Halliday's money.

Wade Watts, Ready Player One's narrator, avatar name: Parzival, is one of tens of thousands of gunters ("egg-hunters") who are obsessed with the quest.  He and his online friends - no one ever meets each other in real life, because real life is too depressing - have spent years delving into '80s pop culture trivia: movies, music, arcade games, video games, RPGs.  But when Parzival unexpectedly finds and solves the first puzzle, the game is on like Donkey Kong and it's a race to the finish.  Not everyone will make it, either: a powerful corporation has hired hundreds and hundreds of gunters whose only job is to find the egg, and they will stop at nothing - not even murder - to reach the prize first.

Ready Player One is written by Ernest Cline, screenwriter of Fanboys, the 2009 movie about Star Wars fanatics.  Cline clearly knows his 1980s pop culture as this first novel of his is stuffed to the gills. I grew up in the 80s so I recognized a lot of the references, although since I am not nor have ever been a gamer I missed a lot of those.  At first the 80s overload seems a little forced, like Cline is just listing stuff to prove how much he knows.  But as the novel progresses, the info-dump becomes more organic.  It's a fun little book, nothing too strenuous, a combination quest/coming-of-age tale flavored with just enough science fiction and fantasy.  I did feel like it was written to be made into a movie but I can't imagine trying to secure the rights to all the books, music, movies, games, etc., dropped into the story.

Girl panic!

I am a longtime Duran Duran fan, from way back in the earliest of the '80s and I am super-thrilled to see the boys back in very fine form in this long-form music video for their song, "Girl Panic."  The sound recalls their glory days and the video stars supermodels, of course - with Naomi Campbell, Cindy Crawford and Helena Christensen playing Simon, John and Roger.  For the record, Cindy is smokin' hot here and Naomi doesn't look to have aged a day in the last couple of decades.  Watch it - enjoy!

Two men enter, one man leaves

In a much needed break from packing today (I've been up to my elbows in boxes straight through since Friday, and for weeks before that ... our house is Very Small - where the hell did all this stuff come from?), I watched Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome while Mr. Mouse went for a bike ride. I am a HUGE Road Warrior fan - a young, impossibly gorgeous, Aussie-accented, leather-clad post-apocalyptic Mel Gibson wreaking havor on punks in the Outback? what could possibly be better? - and I had forgotten how much MM:BT sucks and disrespects the source material. Is MM:BT even rated R? Because it clearly goes for the "funny" as opposed to the "blatantly violent." And way-way-way too much '80s saxophone on the soundtrack. Not to mention that incredibly annoying gaggle of Lost Boys*-esque children. Ugh. Not even Tina Turner in chain-mail stilettos had any chance of saving this movie.

In retrospect, I shoulda kept with the boxes, especially since my "break" from packing tomorrow comes in the form of recapping a damn two-hour Heroes season starter. Why can't they just open with one hour? Why must they torture me like this? And could I whine any more than I am right now?

* Lost Boys a la Peter Pan, not awesome '80s vampire movie.

Big hair and rotting flesh

I thought I was a late bloomer when it came to my love of zombie flicks. But no, I've apparently loved them since the early 1980s:

Duran Duran's "Nightboat" video is actually a mini-zombie movie!





Who knew?

Gleeful

Did you all watch the "Director's Cut" of the Glee pilot last Wednesday night? 'Cuz you should had. And if you didn't, you can catch it on Hulu, and you should. 'Cuz it's awesome.

It's about a glee club in an Ohio high school. The glee clubbers are misfits, of course, and the club has no funding, all available monies being siphoned off to the championship cheer squad. It is up to the teacher in charge, Will Schuester, to get his group together, polished and performing, and hoping to make a name for themselves in the regional competitions.

I thought the pilot was great. It's very well-put together, with some big production numbers. Although at first glance the characters seem to be caricatures, there's actually some depth and quirk to most of them. The musical numbers are organic - performances, rehearsals - and not of the spontaneously breaking into song whilst walking in the park variety. There are no big name actors here - Jane Lynch, hilarious as the Evil Cheerleading Coach, is probably the most widely recognizable - and I suspect they've blown the show's budget on music rights.

Hopefully in this American Idol-ized world this little show will make it, people being more accustomed to song and dance these days. (Yes, yes, the original Fame television series, I know, leave me alone.) It's on Wednesdays on Fox.

Magic frame indeed

My undying gratitude to Mr. Mouse for finding the most bestest thing I've seen on the interweb in weeks: the A-ha music video for "Take On Me" ... with lyrics that play by play the onscreen action. It is hilarious, especially to those of us who are unhip and behind the times and loooove '80s music. I am just so amazed at how creative people are; someone had to think to do this - and it's awesome. This video has already got over 2 million views on YouTube - so it's not like it's breaking news or anything - but I think it's worth a little extra promotion.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to kick some ass with my own pipe wrench.

Get into the groove

I've been stuck in a serious '80s rut - must stem from watching the unbleeped version of The Breakfast Club last weekend. The "Eighties Mix" playlist has been the only thing in rotation on my iPod of late. Here's what the last ten tunes turned out to be:

• Nightboat - Duran Duran
• Life During Wartime - Talking Heads
• Runaway - Bon Jovi
• Expresso Love - Dire Straits
• Ignoreland - R.E.M.
• Love Is the Drug - Roxy Music
• (Do Not) Stand in the Shadows - Billy Idol
• Letter Never Sent - R.E.M.
• Burn For You - INXS
• Ship of Fools - World Party

Now, if I were to switch over to the main library which contains the entire Mouse music collection, the next ten would be a little bit different:

• Shellshock - New Order
• My Way - Frank Sinatra
• Hard to Be - The Vaughan Brothers
• Hot Tub - Don Campbell
• In The Rapids - Genesis
• Let My Love Open the Door - Pete Townshend
• Take Me to the River - Talking Heads
• Let's Go Crazy - Prince
• Carry On - Crosby Stills Nash & Young
• Hips Don't Lie - Shakira

Can you tell which of those came from Mr. Mouse's CDs?

Oh, the shame of it! Guilty pleasure

I was listening to my iPod on the drive into work, which I always do because the radio in my town is pretty bad and the morning programs are simply horrible. I ask you, why do radio stations assume that their listeners want to hear moronic DJ banter in the morning? The last thing I want to do before I've even had caffeine is listen to inane talk from people who are not nearly as smart or funny as they think they are.

Then this one song came on that made me laugh out loud, glance around sheepishly, and then sing at the top of my voice. It was truly the lamest song on my playlist and I reveled in it. What is this embarrassing song, you ask, your curiosity piqued? Well, let’s run down the top contenders:

It’s not a song by Duran Duran. In seventh grade I discovered this Fab Five and have been a stalwart fan ever since. Their Rio album is fantastic and, while they’ve wavered in some of their other offerings, their 2004 singles were pretty darn strong for such aging New Romantics. (Plus: John Taylor? Still very pretty.)

It’s not a Bon Jovi song either. Another ‘80s mega-band who has actually done really well with their comeback, these Jersey boys’ 2005 hit, “It’s My Life,” prompted me to purchase several tracks off 1986’s Slippery When Wet from iTunes. I was singing “Living on a Prayer” on this morning’s commute as well but I’m not ashamed of that. (Also, Jon Bon Jovi? see above re: John Taylor).

It isn’t from N’Sync or the Backstreet Boys. I like to jog to N’Sync because they’re peppy little fellows. And I only have two BB songs: the one featured in Napoleon Dynamite and the one with that half-concept (movie monsters)/half-dance video.

It’s not even by the Pussycat Dolls. I would normally draw the line at these pop-harlots but a dear friend of mine made me a CD which had the Dolls on it, as well as a bunch of fun music from Sofia Coppola’s Marie Antoinette.

Here it is: I am very embarrassed to say that the most cringe-inducing song on my iPod is “(I Just) Died In Your Arms” by the Cutting Crew (1986). It’s a terrible song by a one-hit ‘80s band, one of those synth-heavy, not-quite-a-ballad monstrosities so prevalent in the mid-1980s. It’s awful … and I sing along every time it comes up – which is not often, thankfully.

So, ‘fess up: what’s the guiltiest pleasure on your iPod?

Top Ten Cover Songs on my iPod

If you were to take a scroll through my iPod (that is, if I were to let go of it long enough for you to do so), you would almost immediately see that I am an '80s and '90s kind of person. Sure, there's both newer and older stuff in there too, but I am predominantly stuck in a retro sort of place. I'm fine with that.

One little subgenre for which I've discovered an affinity are cover songs, with some partiality for modern bands covering songs from the 1980s. My Top 10 are listed below, in alphabetical-by-band order.

• Smooth Criminal covered by Alien Ant Farm
• I Will Survive covered by Cake
• Sweet Jane covered by the Cowboy Junkies
• Land of Confusion covered by Disturbed
• Shout covered by Disturbed
• Suspicious Minds covered by Fine Young Cannibals
• Word Up! covered by Korn
• Oops! I Did It Again covered by Richard Thompson
• Dear Prudence covered by Siouxsie and the Banshees
• I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself covered by the White Stripes

My current favorite is the Richard Thompson - you gotta love a folk god covering Britney Spears. Runner-up is Word Up! (best played really, really loudly). If anyone has other good cover song suggestions, I'm interested!