Movie mini-review: Night Watch (2004)

I just enjoyed the hell out of Night Watch (Nochnoy dozor in its native Russian). A fantasy/sci-fi/horror thriller that owes a whole lot to The Matrix et al., this movie is exciting, confusing and ultimately pretty satisfying. In fact, I have the sequel, Day Watch, queued up and ready to go - and I can't wait to see it.

In a nutshell, a long time ago the forces of Light and Dark battled against each other. These beings, the "Others," were more powerful than humans but were evenly matched and, in order not to destroy the world with their fighting, finally agreed to an uneasy truce. The Light Others, called the Night Watch, would make sure the Dark Others didn't step out of line; the Dark Others, or the Day Watch, would keep an eye on the Light. Fast-forward to present day Moscow, where the truce is just barely still in effect. The Night Watch are, in effect, police, making sure the Dark doesn't succumb to their evil impulses. But if the Night Watch ends up hurting or killing a Dark Other, the balance must be kept and a Light Other must pay the price.

Into this mix is Anton, who only just discovered his Otherage a few years ago when he went to a fortuneteller for help with his cheating wife. Now Anton is an officer of the Night Watch and is set to find a young boy who is about to awaken to his other Otherness; when a new Other awakens, it is up to him or her to choose Light or Dark - and the Light doesn't want to lose this boy.

There is a little bit of everything in this movie: vampires, shapeshifters (with cool effects for both a tiger and, to a lesser extent, an owl), medieval swordfighting, videogame footage, computer hacking, car chases, wire-works combat. Some of it is confusing - what's with all the mosquitos? why wait to give Anton a partner until more than half the movie has already passed? what's with the videogame-as-prophecy? and was the Russian pop singer really a necessary character? - but most of it is good stuff. Best of all (for me): as the young boy sits in his living room, whittling a stake since he recently discovered that vampires are real, he's watching a scene from "Buffy vs. Dracula" (BtVS Season 5).

I think this movie can hold its own against others in the genre. It's not as sophisticated or clean as many similar Hollywood movies, but I enjoyed it a whole lot more than that Underworld nonsense or even Blade (which has better fights, I will grant you). Please don't be put off by the subtitles - Night Watch is one fun ride.



P.S. #1 - (10/13/08) I forgot to mention in my original post how much I loved the subtitles: they were supercreative, something I'd never seen done before in that when a vampire supernaturally called out to the boy, the subtitles were in red and faded away all wavy-like, and when one of the vampires lost his temper and shouted, the subtitles were IN CAPITALS and a larger font than the normal subtitles. You didn't need this extra layer but it showed a nice thought process on the part of the subtitler.

P.S. #2 (also 10/13/08) I have since seen Day Watch too and boy is the sequel not even close to the first movie. In the midst of the over the top action I was completely bored since Day Watch is unfocused and unruly, frittering away time on a worthless vampire star-crossed lover subplot and other frippery. By the time we got to the apocalypse, which happened because two Great Others were fighting over something they both wanted, I was completely uninvolved because the movie had spent NO TIME developing why these two wanted what they wanted or why either of them should care if they had to share. It's a shame because I really liked the first movie; there's supposed to be a third coming in 2009, Twilight Watch, and I suppose I'll see it because I've invested this much time already, but I really really hope they get some focus for #3.

DVD review: Rain Shadow Series 1

Filmed entirely on location in a naturally-occurring rain shadow (a region on the lee side of a mountain range, where precipitation is markedly decreased compared to the windward side) in the Adelaide Hills, the Australian television drama Rain Shadow is centered around the relationship between two female veterinarians, laid over a harsh socioeconomic situation existing in a struggling farming community.

Episode 1, “The Long Paddock,” introduces us to Jill (Victoria Thaine), a fresh-faced young veterinarian who is assigned to assist the current vet, Kate McDonald (Rachel Ward), in drought-stricken Paringa. Kate is gruff and brusque to her new assistant: she has fired or chased off the last nine assistant veterinarians the agency has sent her; she describes her home of Paringa as “walking road kill,” what with the ten-year drought having sucked all the juice out of all the residents. Dour Kate is not entirely without heart, however, but makes quick, pragmatic choices when Jill discovers a sick itinerant drover, taking his equally sick sheep down the “long paddock” (the stock roads).

In Episode 2, “You Can’t Eat Scenery,” a drought relief workshop has come to Paringa. Tensions run high as the farmers try to figure out what might save their dying farms. One farmer in particular, Fred Kline, is at the end of his tether with his sheep showing signs of a contagion. The wealthiest landowner, Balfour, asks Kate if Jill will be a “problem” but Kate assures him she can manage her new assistant; unbeknownst to Kate, Jill has sent some samples from Fred’s sheep off to the lab.

Another new face comes to town in “Paringa Rules” (episode 3): Akmed Aziz, an Iraqi scientist sent to learn about Australia’s dry land farming and animal husbandry techniques. Aziz’s arrival causes more consternation among Kate and the more successful farmers. Kate tasks Jill with taking their guest around only to certain farms with healthy sheep. When Jill receives her lab results from Fred’s sheep, Kate is furious: if the lab blows the whistle, the district is doomed.

“Black and White” (episode 4) starts with Kate getting injured as she treats some cattle, so Jill must take all the house calls while Kate orders her around by phone from the house. Kate takes advantage of Jill’s absence by telling Balfour that Jill received the lab results; when Balfour insists that Kate send the new sheila out to see him, Kate wryly warns him that Jill will not be intimidated by him regardless of how hard he tries. Jill and Kate butt heads yet again, but begin to work together to fix things in the district that Kate so loves and Jill is learning to understand.

In Episode 5, “The Call of the Wild,” Aziz’s departure is imminent and everyone is worried about what he will report about the district’s sick sheep. When Kate invites the Iraqi scientist to lunch to set up a strategy for containing the truth, Jill’s dad and brother (who want Jill to move back to the city to work at the family business) arrive for an unexpected visit, as does the itinerant sheep drover (who wants Jill to go walkabout with him) from the first episode. The afternoon proceeds awkwardly until a feral dog pack decimates a local goat herd and the entire lunch crowd must work together to save the wounded animals.

The final episode, “The Soldier’s Choice,” finds Jill calling in some favors and breaking some rules as she tries to both treat Paringa’s sheep from the rampant disease and save Kate’s practice from a greedy blackmailer.

I’ve never thought very much of Rachel Ward as an actress, but she does well here, letting occasional glimpses of humanity shine through the cracks in her tough exterior. She also looks fantastic and rocks that Aussie shepherd’s hat. Australian Victoria Thaine gets better and better as the episodes go on, steely resolve peeking out from innocent eyes. The music is gorgeous, reminiscent of the themes from Deadwood; the blues/roots band are the Audreys from South Australia. The real star of Rain Shadow, however, is the landscape: sere, sunburned hills in every shade of red, yellow and brown, sprinkled with dry washes and thirsty trees, rolling up to pale dry skies – and in the distance, out of the rain shadow, green mountains sucking the rain from the clouds.

The DVD extras are slim: a Rachel Ward biography/filmography; a snippet about the Audreys; and a “behind the scenes featurette” that is largely scenes from various episodes and short interviews with cast and crew.

I had never heard of this series and greedily devoured the all-too-few episodes. Luckily, Rain Shadow has been picked up by Australian television for a second season so there is more drama in Paringa yet to come – maybe it will even rain. In the meantime, I highly recommend that U.S. viewers pick up the Series 1 DVDs when they are released here in the States on October 21, 2008.

Should I start recapping these too?

I realize you all were expecting the next Fringe recap but instead of the show there was some political thing on television last night ... so I went out and found you something even better: James Gunn's PG Porn on Spike.com - "[f]or people who like everything about porn. Except the sex."

This is a new online series featuring Real Live Porn Stars and regular actors doing porno scenes. But with no sex. It's got everything: the excellent acting, the high quality sets, the great music, the riveting plots. And this first installment also has Nathan Fillion! It doesn't get any better than that.

Heroes recap: “I Am Become Death” - airdate 10/06/08 (S3E4)

Mohinder is looking bad, the skin of his back peeling off in large chunks. He calls it a “rash.” Tracy learns that she is one of three identical triplets: Tracy, Niki and Barbara/Bobba, endowed with special abilities. She wants her ability removed and gets angry when the doctor says he can’t or won’t; she almost freezes him in her fury but reins it back in time. Ugh: Parkman’s African vision quest again. I’m bored.

Four years in the future: ScarPeter and Regular Peter are in NYC. It looks just like regular New York, except tons and tons of people have superpowers now, having purchased or stolen the injection. ScarPeter says that these powers are the new weapon of choice and the earth is in danger – people aren’t using restraint. ScarPeter says that it’s up to regular Peter to find Sylar as Sylar's ability-absorbing power will enable him to save the world. Just then, Dark Claire shows up with a gun and shoots ScarPeter and it looks like she kills him. Peter makes a dash for it as she aims at him; he races past the Haitian, who is standing there nullifying everyone's abilities, and strikes him down for some reason. Dark Claire is pissed that she let a Peter get away.

After the commercial, Dark Claire and Future Daphne look at ScarPeter lying on a morgue slab. Future Daphne has straight hair – looks kind of like Elle. Knox is there too: apparently they’ve all been tasked with killing Peter. Claire shares the bad news that there’s a second one they have to get now too. Knox says they should use Molly since she can find anyone but Daphne is reluctant to do so. Dark Claire puts on her resolve face, however, and I bet Molly will be enlisted.

In the present, Hiro and Ando bicker in their Level 5 cell: Ando’s feeling are hurt that Hiro doesn’t trust him. A rift is forming. At Nathan’s office, they’re picking out furniture (WTF?). Invisible/imaginary Lindeman flits around and Nathan thinks he may be a figment of brain damage from the shooting. They go back and forth and it’s boring even when Lindeman tells Nathan his path is leading to the presidency.

Maya and her breasts visit Mohinder in the lab. The place is a mess and she tries to wheedle him into spending some time with her. He snaps at her and she storms off. I could NOT care less about these two. Mohinder is way stressed because the “rash” is spreading, as is his aggression.

In the future, Peter finds the lab, which looks to be long abandoned. Some of Isaac’s old paintings are still there – I kind of miss Isaac. “What do you want?” comes from out of the shadows. It’s Mohinder, growling and hooded and scaly and scuttling about in the depths of the room. The formula he injected himself with is wrong, he says. Well, duh. Peter says he needs to find Sylar; Mohinder won’t tell him where Sylar is but Peter pulls the location out of his head and teleports away as Mohinder protests ineffectually.

Peter finds himself at Claire’s old house in Costa Verde. Mr. Muggles is there (!), as is a cute little boy who says, “Hi, Uncle Peter!” Sylar comes over to Peter and gives him a big hug, clearly glad to see him. Peter stands there, jaw on the floor, unable to form any coherent thoughts whatsoever. And then Sylar Junior asks, “Where’s your scar, Uncle Peter?”

Future Sylar takes then Peter in the other room, correctly deducing that he is from the past. He acknowledges that it must be a surprise for Peter to come here to learn that they are brothers (“Brothers?” grunts Peter) but that he’s sorry, he can’t/won’t help. “I’m not going to give my ability to you … [the hunger] turned me into a killer, a monster … and I am not going to willingly condemn you to hell.” Peter says that if Sylar he doesn’t help him, this world that has Sylar’s family in it will end. He challenges Sylar to paint the future to see if he isn’t right. Afterwards, Sylar teaches Peter how to access his ability.

Still in the future, Parkman is holding a crying baby while Daphne tries to get him to let her use Molly – who is sitting sadly on her bed in another room. Parkman wants Molly to be a normal girl, not used like a bloodhound. She points out that Peter is the murderer and the villain, not her. Parkman says she’s a wife and a mother and she needs to slow down (ha ha) and spend some time with her family. Daphne is persuasive, however, and she gets Peter’s location out of Molly. Dark Claire and Knox are waiting for her in the hallway and the three of them set off for Costa Verde.

My timeline is all screwed up now because the next thing we see is Knox holding onto Sylar’s boy (whose name is “Noah” – awww!) and Dark Claire holding a gun on Sylar and Peter. She says all she’s after is Peter: she’ll let Noah go when he’s dead and one bullet to the back of the head should do it. Peter pleads with her – what happened to you? – and as she answers, he darts forward and punches her straight on the jaw.

And the fight begins: Daphne darting around, landing punches that Peter can’t avoid; Knox drawing fear from poor little Noah as the boy crouches behind the kitchen table. Sylar recognizes what Knox’s power is and notes that he’s not afraid of him. Knox nods to Noah and says “he is,” before beating the crap out of Sylar and throwing him across the room. To land on the kitchen table and crush his own son against the wall. Holy shit – that’s harsh for NBC. Peter and Daphne are horror-struck and I think Sylar’s about to revert to his old ways.

Peter recovers first and takes advantage of the situation, TKing Daphne into the wall and knocking her unconscious. Sylar starts POUNDING on Knox and – uh-oh – his fists are starting to light up like Atomic Ted’s used to. Dark Claire raises her gun but she’s too late: screaming for his dead son, Sylar goes fully nuclear and there’s nothing left of Costa Verde but a mushroom cloud. Damn.

Back at present time Level 5, Hiro and Ando are still trying to escape through the vent. Ando manages to open the grate and tells his former friend, “good luck with your escape” – he’s not going because it’s clear that Hiro doesn’t want him around. Of course, Hiro needs a boost to get up there. Also of course, mid-escape the Haitian appears to ruin everything. Back at the lab, Mohinder is discouraged that he is unable to remove the abilities from himself or anyone else.

Tracy, feeling all guilty, tries to turn herself in for freezing the reporter to death but, in her angst, freezes the telephone she’s trying to use. Later, Nathan is praying again when Tracy stops by to hand in her resignation. She seems very somber, saying “I know what I have to do now.” As she heads out (to a bridge to kill herself), Lindeman sends Nathan after her to save her, which he does with the flying. She’s pretty surprised. They go back to her/his? apartment and he pours her a drink, asking “You okay?” She just stares at him: “So you can fly? … I have to show you something” and freezes his bourbon solid. He thinks it’s cool (pun intended), marveling that her hands are still warm. She leans in for a kiss.

Four years in the future: President Nathan and First Lady Tracy give a press conference to mourn the total loss of Costa Verde. In Dark Claire’s morgue, she and the Haitian have tied Peter up next to dead ScarPeter. Claire snarls that over 200,000 people died in Costa Verde and she wants him to feel pain for every death. Then she picks up a scalpel and starts cutting: “One … two …” She is interrupted when Nathan comes in, wanting to speak with his brother. “Is this the president or my father speaking?” Claire wants to know. It’s both, says Nathan.

He clears the room and starts to untie his brother, saying that he knows that Peter is trying to keep the world from splitting in two. But Peter can’t do it alone: Nathan’s mobilizing an army of people with abilities. Peter is aghast. “Congress has agreed to full proliferation because of Costa Verde, because of you.” Peter doesn’t know what to think and tries to read Nathan’s mind … then TKs Nathan against the wall, whispering “I know you think what you’re doing is right” before slicing open his brother’s forehead a la Sylar. As the Secret Service pounds on the door, Peter teleports out, completely shocked at what he just did

Level 5, present day: Sylar sits in his cell as Peter teleports in, launching himself across the room and pinning Sylar against the wall. Peter growls that he took Sylar’s ability in the future and now needs to know how to control it. Sylar grimaces, chuckling, realizing that with the ability, Peter also took the hunger. “You’re just like me … brother.”

As Parkman continues his vision quest, Future Parkman and Molly watch the aftermath of the Costa Verde explosion on television, shaken. There is a knock at the door: it’s Daphne. She smiles wanly at her husband and murmurs, “I wasn’t fast enough.” As she falls into Parkman’s arms, we see that the entire back of her body is incinerated with radiation burns. Parkman snaps out of the vision and insists that he must find Daphne. There’s some more mystical animal guide stuff but I refuse to pay attention to it.

Back at the Company, Angela Petrelli has Hiro and Ando in front of her. She wants to know where Hiro’s father’s half of the formula is. She tells them that the formula will grant powers to all regular people and since the formula is lost, it is Hiro’s fault that the world will end. But she goes on to manipulate the gullible Hiro, saying he will be able to unlock the key to the mystery – in fact, he’s the only one who can. Why? Because he’s got to go to Japan to rescue Adam … who is still looking gorgeous after all that time trapped in his coffin! He’s a little pissed off at Hiro, however.

Next time on Heroes / previously on Heroes

True Blood recap S1E5 (10/05/08)

Bill and Sookie pull up at Sookie’s house not long after Bill glamoured the cop last episode. Sookie is pissed off about the way Bill dealt with the cop, plus she’s pretty shaken after the vampire bar. Bill says he won’t call on her again and drives away, sad. From the bushes, a dog watches, unseen. Hi there, Sam!

Someone is pounding frantically on Lafayette’s door at 3:00 a.m: it’s Tara. “Stupid fuckin’ bitch!” she shrieks at him, “When did you start dealin’ V?” She tells him how the ER had to drain Jason’s penis using a needle the size of an ice pick … twice. Lafayette promises to check on Jason in the morning.

The next morning, Adele is getting an earful from someone on the phone that does not want to have Bill speak at their church group. Sookie stomps in, full of pout. She doesn’t think she and Bill have very much in common. Her grandmother thinks that Bill could offer a nice world perspective; Sookie thinks that fine, but isn’t sure the vampire should be her boyfriend.

Later, at Lafayette’s, Jason demonstrates how the doctor lanced his johnson using a meat thermometer and a boudin sausage. “Without anesthesia,” he says pointedly. Lafayette is suitably flinchy. When Jason complains that he doesn’t know how he’ll ever look Tara in the face again either, Lafayette waves it off, saying that Tara’s been in love with Jason since she was eight – this latest escapade won’t do anything to deter that. Jason is incredulous but takes it in stride. He rails at Lafayette to stop dealing the V; Lafayette insists that, taken correctly, V will clear his head and change his world. Being a slave to his own sex drive, Jason allows Lafayette to sway him and they each do a hit of vampire blood.

At Sam’s bar, Arlene chastises Sookie about going to that vampire club, having heard it’s “all freaks … and people from Arkansas.” Sam eavesdrops unstealthily as Sookie says she isn’t going out with Bill again. He takes advantage of the situation to ask her to go with him to the “Descendants of the Glorious Dead” talk that Sookie’s grandmother has organized. The entire bar watches as Sookie first asks him if he’s asking her out, and then says yes.

Detective Andy, eating at the end of the bar, asks Sookie if it’s true that Jason and Tara were seeing each other. Sookie thinks that’s ridiculous and Andy gets immediately suspicious. Sookie corners Tara in the bathroom and asks about Jason; Tara ‘fesses up that she’s providing an alibi and then asks since when is Sookie dating Sam; Sookie gets flustered since it only just happened. She stares at her best friend and Tara does this hilarious thing where she thinks “lalalalalalalalalalalalalala” in her head so Sookie can’t hear her thoughts.

The church is packed for the DGD presentation and some attendees are concerned that the big shiny crucifix at the front of the room may cause their undead guest of honor some distress. Bill collects his thoughts in the church kitchen as folks take their seats. Jason pauses outside the church, rapturously tripping on the tab of V he took. He sits next to Tara, Sam and Sookie as Adele makes her introductions. There is a smattering of applause as Bill walks out.

He is much more personable and charming up on stage than he is one on one, talking about fighting for Louisiana in the “war for Southern Independence.” Some rednecks in the audience load up a garlic press and wave it around; Bill wrinkles his nose but carries on. Later, an audience member asks Bill if he knew his great-great grandfather who was in the same division and we get a flashback to the Civil War. The mayor speaks up, having found an old tintype photograph: a picture of Bill, his wife and children. The last time he saw them was 1862 when he went to the war, because he was turned to a vampire before he could return to them. Bill tears up a bit, looking at the photograph: his tears are bloody. The DGD talk is a success and everyone wants to shake Bill’s hand or take a photo with him afterwards.

At Sam’s bar, Jason’s trip is continuing. Tara sees it immediately but Jason starts to work his mojo on her, stroking her arm and kissing her fingers. She tries to be tough but that torch she carries burns too hot. On the other side of town, Sam and Sookie are having pie and coffee. Sam asks if she’s taken advantage of his offer to open his thoughts to her; she says no, she’s tried but his thoughts are different from other people’s – fewer words and more senses and waves of sound. IT’S BECAUSE HE’S A WEREDOG. Outside, they kiss and it’s WAY hotter than when she macked with Bill. Sookie gets a little freaked out, however, what with only just having broken up with Bill and all, and Sam gets mad that she smooched the vamp. They argue and she flounces off, leaving Sam to pout home alone.

As Bill walks up to his house, he has a vision of his wife and children waiting for him on the porch. He is interrupted by the sheriff and Andy who want to ask him some questions. Ever the gentleman, he invites them in and offers them Frescas. Hee. They ask him if he knew Maudette and Dawn; he only knew Dawn from Sam’s bar. After a few more questions, Bill asks if the women had been exsanguinated. Since neither of them was, Bill points out that vamps could not have killed them because no vampire would have been able to resist a fresh human body full of blood.

Bill gazes into the fireplace after the lawmen are gone and then we get another flashback to the end of the War, after the South surrendered. On his way home to Bon Temps, a very human and starving Bill meets up with a pretty widow. She wants to feed him more than just food but he is honorable and wants to return home to his wife. Problem is, this widow is a vampire and she muckles onto his neck, slavering and drooling as she drinks him down. When he awakens in her bed, there are moldering corpses stacked against the walls: other soldiers she has preyed upon. The widow straddles Bill, slashes her own neck and makes him drink, first reluctantly, then with greed. Modern-day Bill comes out of his fugue and starts smashing up his living room, enraged at the memory.

At the bar, Tara takes the garbage out only to find Jason doing some blonde floozy doggie-style behind the dumpsters. She upends the garbage over their heads; the floozy shrieks at Jason, “Don’t you stop!” and they keep banging away.

A cab drops Sookie at her house after the debacle date with Sam. Someone watches from the shrubs again but we don’t see if it’s the dog again. Sookie goes into the kitchen and HOLY SHIT: Grandma Adele is dead on the kitchen floor, her throat slashed and blood everywhere. I did not see that coming, I tell you what!

Next time on True Blood / previously on True Blood

Niblets and bits

Woo-hoo! Did y'all notice? That last Fringe recap was my 300th post! I rule!

The in-laws arrived today and, due to the silly way Mr. Mouse and I have set up our home, have blocked all access to the television because they go to bed early (our guest room = t.v. room in an attempt to seem grown-up and not have the television dominate the living room ... which consequently never gets used because we're always up in the guest room watching television). So this weekend you will not be getting a review of Night Watch, the Russian vampire movie with subtitles that I am DYING to see; nor will I be able to catch up on S3E1 of Dexter which has been languishing in the DVR whilst I typed my little fingers off to bring you True Blood, Heroes and Fringe.

No matter. I got to watch S2E1 of Pushing Daisies last night - yay! - and while I am thrilled to have this fantastic/fantastical show back, I was less than thrilled with the get-Olive-to-a-nunnery storyline. Olive is, in large part, what makes Pushing Daisies awesome and sticking her in a convent is Just Not Going To Work For Me.

What else? Fryeburg Fair tomorrow: the latest, biggest fair in Maine -what would be the State Fair if this state had such a thing. Lots of animals (pig scrambles, oxen pulls and harness racing, oh my!) and LOTS of food: pulled pork sandwiches, chopped brisket sandwiches, corndogs, maple cotton candy, kettle corn, funnel cakes, birch beer ... I anticipate well-earned indigestion by tomorrow night.

And finally, because I firmly believe that nothing is better than bacon (unless maybe Johnny Depp and Eddie Vedder in a pillow fight), I offer you these links, compliments of Justin Ellis of the Portland Press Herald: The Holy Church of Bacon (seems a bit silly) and Bacon Today (which may just end up getting added to my RSS feeder).

Fringe recap S1E4 (09/30/08)

Brooklyn: A bald guy orders a roast beef sandwich in a deli, with eleven jalapeno peppers on the side and room temperature water. He’s weird. He watches some construction across the street through fancy binoculars, and takes notes in some sort of hieroglyphics, then douses his sandwich in black pepper and half a bottle of Tabasco, in addition to the peppers. He’s really weird (although Mr. Mouse would totally dig a sandwich like that). After eating his sandwich, he looks at the construction site again and then there’s an earthquake and an explosion in the job site. Weird guy drinks his water; a crater emerges in the construction site; weird guy pays his tab and leaves the deli, heading into the demolished site. He makes a call: “It has arrived.”

Boston: Walter is once again keeping his son awake by reciting chemical formulae (for root beer) in the middle of the night. The next morning, Peter goes to see Olivia, bitching about having to live with his father. Peter wants out, not just because he’s sick of his dad but also because he doesn’t like to stay in one place too long. Olivia says that Peter must stay because Walter has stated he will return to the mental hospital if his son leaves.

Chelsea, Massachusetts: The FBI has collected something from the explosion in Brooklyn. They don’t know what it is. It looks like an egg-shaped warhead with flashing blue lights spiraling around it. Apparently, this cylinder tunneled up from the earth to the surface. Another one of these things showed up in 1987 and Olivia is sent to meet with the military guy who was in charge of the situation back then. As she heads out, Peter tells her he’s leaving after this one. Walter wants the cylinder taken to his lab and throws a hissy fit when the FBI hesitates. He needs his equipment, damnit!

The military guy tells Olivia that in 1987 the cylinder that emerged from the ground at Quantico transmitted something they couldn’t decode and then, after several hours, exploded downwards, into the ground, and disappeared. He thinks she should stay as far away as she can from this cylinder.

A tough-looking guy in a watch cap takes a machine gun – that fires blue sparks - and shoots up all the soldiers guarding the Chelsea installation. He asks the remaining scientist where the cylinder is. We know it’s at Walter’s lab where he’s shaking a tuning fork at it. Watch-cap goes to see Olivia’s military guy and zaps him with his special gun.

That night, Olivia gets a phone call from … dead agent John Scott, she thinks. She has the FBI trace the call but they have no record of any calls coming in to her cell at all. She is weirded out by that. Speaking of weird, Walter is still frigging around with the cylinder. It might be a subterranean torpedo that he worked on some time ago, but he’s not saying for sure.

Meanwhile, Olivia recognizes the bald guy (caught in a photo at the Brooklyn explosion) as someone she saw at the hospital two weeks ago (when John was there). She’s got a surveillance photo from the hospital to prove it. She brings this to Broyles’s attention and he takes her to a room filled with surveillance photos of the bald guy. They’ve recorded him at over three dozen scenes connected with the Pattern but they have no idea who he is. They call him “the Observer.”

Olivia gets notification about the attack on the Chelsea facility and warns Peter. Peter tells his dad that someone is after the cylinder and Walter says they must protect it. He needs aluminum foil. This will contain the cylinder’s transmissions. Peter grumpily goes out to fetch some. While he’s gone, Walter injects Astrid (Olivia’s FBI assistant who is fortunate enough to have been assigned to hang out with Walter in the lab) in the neck with something and she collapses. When Peter comes back, Walter and the cylinder are gone.

During this time, Watch-cap has strapped Military Guy down and inserted a bunch of probes up his nose and possibly into his brain. He wants Military Guy to think about the FBI agent who visited him. After some electroshock (?) encouragement, Military Guy does what he is told and Watch-cap captures his thoughts via the iPod earpiece he’s wearing. Don’t ask – because I certainly can’t explain it better than that. Then, having gotten what he was after, he shoots Military Guy with that machine gun.

Walter has gone out for a root beer float when the Observer joins him. He offers some of his drink to the Observer who politely declines, saying he wouldn’t taste much anyway. Because of all the damage the hot peppers and hot sauce have done to his taste buds. The Observer then thanks Walter for hiding the “beacon” since he can’t touch it himself; he tells the mad scientist that soon he will have answers to many of his questions. Back at the lab, everyone is very flustered about Walter’s disappearance – until the cops pick him up, walking on the median of I-95.

Olivia and Peter catch up to Walter at a holding cell. He won’t tell them where the cylinder is, but admits that he is hiding it from whoever is coming for it. He has a theory that he only has to hide the cylinder for another four hours – the Observer told him so. Peter thinks his dad made up this bald man and Walter gets very angry with his son for treating him like a child.

After his dad’s outburst, Peter walks out. He goes to his dad’s lab and packs up some stuff, making some phone calls in the meantime, looking for work anywhere out of Boston. He doesn’t see Watch-cap lurking in the shadows. Some time later, Astrid calls in to report signs of a struggle in Walter’s lab. Watch-cap has taken Peter and hooked him up to the probes. I don’t want anyone shoving anything up my nose like that, thank you very much. Watch-cap gives Peter a charge to let him know what he’s in for.

Olivia obtains a surveillance photo from outside Walter’s lab – showing Watch-cap entering – and shows it to Walter, saying that she thinks Peter’s been kidnapped. Walter is very worried that Peter will lead Watch-cap to the beacon. Even though he doesn’t know where it is. Back at the torture chamber, Walter’s fears are realized as Watch-cap seems to be getting all the information he needs from Peter’s brain.

Watch-cap puts Peter in the trunk of his car and drives out to an old cemetery. Peter’s grandfather (?) is buried there. Peter doesn’t look so good but Watch-cap makes him start digging. Olivia drives up, somehow not alerting Watch-cap with her headlights or the slam of her door. She does manage to step on a twig, however, so he bolts, dug-up cylinder in hand. She chases him, shooting him many times and finally bringing him down.

Just then the fallen cylinder explodes, downward, and tunnels into the earth. Olivia thinks: “That was weird.” Also weird: the Observer watching from the shadows and phoning in his report of “Departure on schedule.” He is interrupted as Peter tackles him, knocking him to the ground. Peter demands to know what the cylinder is, but the Observer reads his mind and speaks the words simultaneously as Peter is speaking them. Peter thinks this is quite disturbing. And then the Observer shoots Peter with some sort of non-bulleted gun that just knocks him out so the Observer can get away.

Charlie fetches Walter out of the holding cell to take him back to his hotel. First, however, Walter wants to apologize to Astrid. He offers to let her inject him to even up the score. Astrid won’t even look at him and he looks sad as he leaves. Olivia and Broyles meet up at the hospital where Peter is being treated. Broyles tells her that the cylinder got away. He seems to be warming to Olivia more and more with each case.

As Peter and Olivia walk out of the hospital, Peter tells her about his experience with the Observer. “What if Walter is right?” he says, “what if this is just the beginning?” When Olivia doesn’t hear him, prattling on that he should be able to leave if he wants to, Peter insists that he is not leaving until he gets some answers to the weirdness that surrounds them.

Later, back at the hotel with his dad, Peter wants to know how Watch-cap got the location of the cylinder out of his head when he didn’t know where it was. Walter tells him that he must reconsider his concept of communication - that Peter knew where the cylinder was because Walter knew where it was. Walter relates a story about a car crash many years ago, when Walter and Peter fell through the November ice and would have died, except that the Observer somehow rescued them from certain death. (Peter only remembered this crash as Walter saving them both.) Today Walter protected the cylinder for the Observer out of his debt of gratitude to him.

That night, Olivia goes home after work, pours herself some cereal and some scotch. Well-balanced dinner – my kind of girl! Someone moves in the doorway: “Hello, Olivia.” It’s Dead John Scott. Olivia at least has the presence of mind to drop the bowl of cereal and not her drink.

You know, I liked this episode MUCH better than the first three because they’re not trying to explain via weird science WHY things are happening (like why Watch-cap is able to extract the information from these people’s brains, for instance). They’re just showing it to us and letting our imaginations fill in the gaps. Isn’t that a rule in television: Show, don’t tell? It might should be, if it isn’t already.

Heroes recap: “One of Us, One of Them” S3E3 (09/29/08)

Back at Level 5, Angela Petrelli tells Sylar that she gave him up for adoption and she’s sorry for it. She’s all creepily up in his face, close-talking. She calls red-shirt “Bridget” into the cell: Bridget can see the entire history of any object she touches. Angela tells Sylar that Bridget is there to “feed” Sylar and, as she walks away down the hall, we can hear Bridget’s screams echoing off the cement walls.

In Washington D.C., Tracy bemusedly plays with her new freeze power in her apartment while Nathan paces in his new office, waiting for her. He turns to find Scar-Peter behind him and plays the voicemail Jesse-Peter left for him. We segue to Jesse-Peter and his escaped Level Fivers (I like the way they play with the Peter/Jesse reflections) going into a bank - and not to make a deposit, I betcha. Jesse-Peter just stands there, useless. I can’t wait to find out what Jesse’s power is (so horrible that Mr. Bennet wouldn’t tell Claire what it was!) and, while we’re speculating, where did Jesse himself go when Peter was put in his body?

Mr. Bennet strides through Level Five, finding Angela staring into the empty cells. He tells her that he is only working with the Company to put the psychopaths back in their cells, and then he’s going back to his family. He says he wants his old partner, the Haitian, back again: “You know how it works – one of us, one of them.” Angela tells him that the Haitian is busy doing a pick-up job for her and introduces him to his new partner, Sylar. Mr. Bennet watches Sylar washing Bridget’s blood off his hands and his expression is equally horrified and schooled into blankness. Sylar turns and smirks, just ever so slightly. What the hell is Angela up to here?

Back at Claire’s house, things are a little tense with Claire’s biological mom, Meredith, hanging around. Pluswhich, Claire has decided that since her life will never be normal, she doesn’t have to go to school anymore. Meredith tries to take Claire’s side but Mrs. Bennet is having none of it, and sends her recalcitrant (but unkillable) daughter off to school. Meredith checks in with Claire outside. Claire wants to fight the bad guys and wants her bio-mom to teach her. “We’re going to play hooky today,” says Meredith.

Mr. Bennet is extremely displeased at having to partner with a psychopath to chase down the escaped psychopaths. Angela says that she is putting Sylar into play regardless of whether Bennet will help; it’s up to him whether Sylar gets some supervision or not. Now, just how is Bennet going to have any sort of control over Sylar – seems like the only person (that we know of) who might be able to rein him in would be the powers-dampening Haitian.

Hiro and Ando pop into existence in Berlin, just before Daphne arrives. She says she’s already delivered Hiro’s half of the formula to her boss and received payment for it; she’s here in Berlin to pick up the second half. She is very confident and sassy and cute. But when Daphne turns to speed away, she can’t: she’s only running real-speed (and she totally runs like a girl, btw). I think it must be the Haitian, here on Angela Petrelli’s orders! Yup, Hiro’s powers don’t work either and shortly thereafter, the Haitian strolls into the theater carrying a metal briefcase.

Nathan goes to see Tracy. She shows him the video of Niki and Nathan in Las Vegas and wants to know who the hell Niki is. Nathan’s having a hard time getting past the whole “you’re not Niki Sanders?” bit. Tracy’s found Niki’s New Orleans address and with an eye roll at the dim Petrelli, heads out to find her doppelganger. For the record, I like Tracy a whole hell of a lot more than Niki.

Back at the bank, the cops have arrived because Knox (the fear-feeder) called them: the money wasn’t the only score he’s after – he wants revenge too and he’s gaining strength from the terror emanating from the hostages. The German metal manipulating guy is ready to go but when he challenges Knox, Knox punches his fist right through the guy’s chest and into the ATM. Excellent: one less Level Five psychopath for Mr. Bennet to retrieve. Fire-starter Finn wants to know what Knox’s plan is. Knox is waiting for Bennet to show up so he can “beat his horn-rimmed glasses right into his skull. Right, Jesse?” Jesse-Peter pauses, then grins uncomfortably.

Oh dear lord: Matt Parkman’s boring-ass African spirit walk. His guide brings him to a bunch of boulders where he has painted many, many scenes from Parkman’s life … and apparently Parkman’s life only. Well, that’s a fairly limited (and stupid) power. You know what, I’m just not going to recap any more of this Parkman thread until something interesting happens. It doesn’t in this episode, I promise.

Angela approves of how Sylar looks in his new suit. He is freaked in a general sort of way, wondering if she’s really his mother. She sort of sidesteps the answer. Mr. Bennet has found the Level Fivers in their Poughkeepsie bank. Angela tells him that Peter is stuck in Jesse’s body and remarks that he doesn’t yet know what Jesse’s power is. Mr. Bennet looks resigned as he asks if his new partner is ready; Sylar actually looks a little nervous to be starting his new job.

Berlin. Hiro and Ando watch the Haitian watch a Buster Keaton movie. Daphne pops up, munching popcorn and pushing all their buttons. When the Haitian leaves the theater, the Japanese do too. The Haitian meets with a woman who hands him the formula, saying that it hasn’t been moved in years, so why now? He replies that Mrs. Petrelli deemed it wise to keep her half closer to home.

Poughkeepsie. Knox figures out that Jesse isn’t really Jesse currently and tosses him across the room. I wish Francis Capra would get to be himself and not just Milo Ventimiglia’s reflection. Outside, Bennet and Sylar, the new Men In Black, drive up. After Bennet tells him to keep quiet, Sylar starts channeling Tommy Lee Jones from The Fugitive, bossing the local cops around, taking over the operation and generally being very funny and in charge. Bennet stares at him, impressed but trying not to be. Inside the bank, Jesse-Peter ‘fesses up as to who he is, saying that he came along with the Level Fivers to make sure civilians didn’t get hurt. Knox and Finn are all whatever, you schmuck.

Sylar thinks Bennet is nuts to go in the bank alone and unarmed. He says he wants to help. Bennet says Sylar can debrief the hostages once Bennet sends them out but under no circumstances is Sylar to “go near that buffet in there.” Sylar grunts, looking as though he’d actually forgotten about his quest to collect powers for a little while there.

Meanwhile, Tracy has arrived in at the New Orleans address. There’s a coffin in the living room. She opens it and gazes upon herself. Micah is there too. He looks at Tracy, saying immediately, “You’re not my mother.” But when she decides to leave, he asks her if she has a power too, and tells her about Niki’s super-strength and his own technopathy. He then goes to his computer and pulls up all cross-references between Niki and Tracy: they were born on the same day, in the same hospital, under the care of the same Dr. Zimmerman. Then, sweetly, he grabs onto this stranger with his mom’s face and gives her a big, desperate hug.

Hiro and Ando unbelievably ambush the Haitian and take the formula … but Daphne swipes it and speeds away. When Hiro tries to stop her, his time-freezing doesn’t work any longer because the Haitian has woken up from his brief unconsciousness. And he is quite pissed off, it would seem.

Bennet enters the bank and Knox lets all the hostages go. Knox then sits Bennet down and get ready to open some whup-ass on him. From the corner, crouching on the floor, Jesse-Peter pleads with Knox to just let it go. Knox won’t hear of it and Jesse-Peter gets a little amped up, shouting, “No one dies today!” And by shouting, I mean that sound-wave force fieldy thing that Echo did in the Heroes webisodes this summer. Peter, a quick study for once, realizes that Jesse’s power can be useful and aims it at Knox.

But then, time freezes and Scar-Peter walks in and physically pushes Now-Peter out of Jesse’s body. Peter is pretty pissed at his alterna-self but Scar-Peter wants to clarify things. Over Peter’s objections that they have to help Bennet, they teleport out of the bank. Time unfreezes and Knox and Bennet go flying from Jesse’s shout. Bennet looks up at Jesse and says thank you, thinking he’s Peter. But Jesse is back in his body and, snarling that Peter’s not here anymore, grabs hold of Bennet. This would be a good time for Sylar to disobey orders and save the day. (However, I really wish that Kristin Bell and Francis Capra would get a scene or two together before they get rid of Jesse.)

In the bank, Knox and Jesse are getting ready to murder Bennet … who is remarkably calm because, as he points out, he’s the guy with the partner standing right behind them. Sylar easily freezes and/or TKs both Knox and Jesse into inaction but that means both his hands are full and, when Finn stands up with fists a-blazing, Sylar can’t do anything. Startlement and concern flicker across his face. Not a problem: Bennet shoots Finn, putting him out of commission. He snaps at Sylar that he told him to stay put. Sylar snaps back that Bennet only told him that to ensure that he wouldn’t. And then, in a nice little moment, Sylar gives Bennet a look that a son gives his dad when he is looking for approval, and Bennet, with a tight grin, gives that approval to him. Right here, this is where Sylar takes a teensy step over towards Good.

Meredith takes Claire into a storage container. “You sure you want to do this?” she asks, firing up. When she starts to heat up the steel container, Claire gets snotty, saying she already knows how to survive, what she wants to learn is combat. Meredith tells her, “There are some things you just can’t fight,” and slowly Meredith’s fire starts sucking the air out of the container. Indestructible Claire can’t breathe (although her fire-starter mom apparently can) and she falls to the ground, choking and scared. Meredith is in her face, asking over and over, “Why do you want to fight bad guys?” and calling bullshit on Claire’s declared wish to help people. Finally, a wheezing Claire admits that she wants to learn to fight to hurt Sylar, to repay him for the pain and terror he caused her. And right here, this is where Claire takes her first step towards the dark side.

But just so we don’t think we know exactly where this story is leading: when Bennet takes Finn out to put him into custody, Sylar TKs the doors shut and advances on Jesse, coveting that voice. Bennet pleads with him to fight the urge and to prove Angela’s faith in him right. Sylar says he can’t (or won’t) fight the hunger, however, and poor Jesse gets lobotomized right in front of poor Bennet’s eyes. Bye, Francis Capra! I think Knox gets away while all this is happening too.

Back at the Bennets’ house, Meredith apologizes for tricking Claire like that. She urges Claire towards her normal life and gives her a hug, but Claire eyes the Company files that her dad left behind. Later, Mrs. Bennet reads Meredith the riot act about allowing Claire to skip school; Meredith says she just did what she thought would keep Claire here and safe. Claire then comes down the stairs with packed bags: a friend is here to take her to the overnight cheerleader retreat. Uh-huh - and I got a bridge I’d like to sell to Claire’s two mothers.

Tracy has found Dr. Zimmerman in California. He is surprised to see her and calls her “Barbara” (or similar) but when she introduces herself, he says, “Oh, the one from Beverly Hills.” She is shocked and asks if he knows her. Dr. Zimmerman says, “Know you? I created you.” Is this going to be like Eve-6 from X-Files?

Here’s the final voice-over montage: In Africa, Parkman eats some stuff and listens to his guide’s earphones and his eyes go all gauzy-white (that won’t end well, I guarantee); Nathan reads the Bible; Claire drives through the rain with the pilfered files on the seat next to her; Micah clutches a picture of his mom; Hiro and Ando are locked in a Level Five cell; Sylar and Bennet return Finn to his. Angela is there too, and hands Sylar his jailhouse outfit, putting him back into his cell. When he says he guesses she was wrong about him, she just nods, “We’ll see.” In the corridor, the Haitian and Bennet watch Sylar. “Am I being replaced?” asks the Haitian. “Only for a little while,” replies his former partner. “Just until I find his weakness … and then I’m going to kill him.”

Next time on Heroes / previously on Heroes

True Blood recap S1E4 (09/28/08)

Again, please be advised that there are cusswords and sex-talk following. You've been warned.

Sookie screams for help upon finding Dawn’s dead body. Jason walks in behind her, bearing wine and flowers for Dawn as a post-fight apology, and the siblings both start panicking which brings a neighbor lady running. The neighbor recognizes Jason from last night’s fight; Jason pleads that he’s innocent but the neighbor goes to call the police anyway. My recommendation for the rest of the ladies in town: stay away from Jason Stackhouse as he seems to bring death to your bed as well as that finely chiseled body.

Song and credits = still very excellent and possibly the best part of this show.

Folks gather to gossip and speculate outside Dawn’s house. Inside, the sheriff questions Sookie about finding Dawn. Sookie gets distracted listening to everyone’s thoughts: the sheriff, the detective, the coroner and her brother. A little while later, the sheriff takes Jason away again. But once in the cop car, he remembers that he’s got the vial of illicit vampire blood that he bought from Lafayette and downs it all at once. That’s slightly more than the one or two drops Lafayette told him to take.

Sam drives up to see how Sookie is doing. He asks her if he should shut down the bar out of respect for Dawn but she tells him no, that would just deny folks a stiff drink on a day they especially need it. Further, she wants to take Dawn’s shift so as to keep herself busy.

At the sheriff’s department, poor dumb Jason is getting confused by all the questions. What’s worse is that in the middle of the interview, the v-juice starts to kick in: there’s a shot of his lap and a huge swelling pops out and grows down his leg under his jeans. I mean HUGE. He runs to the bathroom and takes his johnson out of his pants; he screams, looks down at his lap (all sadly off-camera is his lap) and gasps, “What the fuck was that?” – and snatching a wad of toilet paper, starts wiping himself off. Out in the corridor, the sheriff is trying to get in the bathroom, concerned by the screaming. Just then, Tara stomps into the sheriff’s department and asks if Jason was Mirandized. He was not. She whisks a sweaty Jason away, after swearing that she and Jason were together last night. Jason is walking very stiff-leggedly. It’s funny.

When Sookie goes to check on her grandmother, the old woman asks her to use her gift to help her brother, fearing that the town will go after Jason if they can’t figure out who it is killing the (loose) women in town. That night at the bar, Sookie listens in to all the prejudicial, suspicious and horny thoughts flying out of the bar patrons’ brains – she looks queasy to hear it all. Tara rushes into the bar, late for her shift, and Sam wants to talk about their having sex last night. But Tara says that they’re to pretend it never happened, and that she’s Jason’s alibi. “Deep down he’s a very good person,” she says firmly.

Speaking of firm, Jason is jacking off (in his grandmother’s living room?) for what looks to be the fifty-ninth time that night. It doesn’t seem to be helping. He can’t say he wasn’t warned. He finishes off, stares in anguish at his never-ending stiffy, and then moans in pain at the giant blister he’s raised on his rubbing hand. Some time later, he manages to pull himself together and hobbles to the bar to find Lafayette. The cook laughs his ass off, hearing Jason drank the whole vial at once. Jason can hardly walk, he’s so stiff and sore. Later, Tara catches Jason hiding in the walk-in cooler with a frozen steak in his lap. She reads him the riot act about taking v-juice and then tells him that she needs to take a look at his priapism. He moves the rib eye; she is shocked and tells him that they need to get to a hospital NOW. When he balks, she snaps at him: “Do you want to keep your dick or not?” The answer is yes.

Bill walks into the bar and the whole place quietens down immediately. He orders a bottle of blood; Sookie brings it to him, then grabs his hand and drags him outside. She wants Bill to take her to “Fangtasia,” the vamp bar in Shreveport that both Maudette and Dawn used to go to. Bill seems delighted to take her out and she has to admonish him that this is not a date. On the drive to Shreveport, Bill tells her that she looks like vampire bait (she does: her boobs are propped right up to under her chin), and that he isn’t sure he can keep her safe at the bar. They flirt and it is very awkward: these two actors have no chemistry together.

Oh good grief: the song emanating from Fangtasia as Bill and Sookie walk up is “Don’t Fear the Reaper” by Blue Oyster Cult. I hope that it’s because this bar is supposed to be totally cheesy because I’m not sure this show is savvy enough to be playing it ironically. Sookie gets carded at the door and is acting like a total goober just off the farm. There are some tourists buying t-shirts in the back; Bill assures her that things will get more “authentic” as the night goes on.

Sookie asks the bartender if he recognizes photos of Dawn and Maudette; he does, and he says that Maudette came to the bar, looking to die. There’s a bored-looking blond Lestat-esque vampire sitting alone. Bill says the vampire’s name is Eric and he’s the oldest thing in the bar. A wimpy human crawls up to Eric, slavering over his knees; Eric kicks him across the room and dozens of pairs of vamp fangs pop out when the man cuts his head. A leather-clad female vamp whisks him away and Bill wonders if Sookie is taking this place a bit more seriously now.

At the doctor’s, Jason lies about having taken any drugs. His erection, tented under the sheet, is enormous. The doctor takes a look and notes that it “kind of looks like an eggplant - the color and the way it’s all swollen up at the end.” Jason just wants to know if they can fix it. The doctor says yup, but he’s got to drain the blood out of Jason’s penis to do it; grossed out, Tara tries to bolt but Jason grabs her hand and begs her to stay. There is screaming as the doctor gets down to fixing things.

The redheaded waitress asks Sam to walk her to her car after her shift, worried about what’s been happening. Sam of course agrees, but tucks a pair of latex gloves in his pocket as he snaps off the lights in the bar. There is unsubtle ominous music as the camera zooms in on a photograph of Sam and Dawn, grinning, arms around each other.

Back at Fangtasia, Eric summons Bill and Sookie over. Bill is uncomfortable; Sookie continues to be a goober. Eric tells Sookie that if she has questions, she should ask him and she hands over the pictures of the dead girls: Eric notes that Maudette was pathetic and he wouldn’t touch her, but Dawn he tasted. By now Sookie’s had enough but Eric has not, insisting that she sit with him. As Eric and Bill glower at each other, Sookie picks up on an undercover cop’s thoughts that the club is about to get raided. She relays this to Eric but he scoffs, saying nothing happening at the club is illegal. But Sookie also hears the man who was kicked earlier being fed on by the female vampire; Eric wants to know how she knows this and Bill warns her with a terse shake of his head. The cops bust in and Eric, Bill and Sookie scurry out the back, Eric mentioning how pleased he is to have met her.

Tara drives an exhausted Jason home, remembering a childhood episode when Jason stood up for her against her drunk-ass mom and giving us proof that the torch she carries for him is not just because he’s sex on a stick.

Bill and Sookie drive back to Bon Temps from Shreveport. She’s shaken, but apologizes for getting him into trouble. Bill says that vampires are always in trouble one way or another but he prefers to be in it with her. They get pulled over by a cop and things start to get tense until Bill casts his glamour over the policeman. He takes the cop’s gun and gives him a stern talking to, ultimately letting the cop go but keeping his gun. The cop pees himself in terror as Bill and Sookie drive off.

Sam, latex gloves on, lets himself into Dawn’s cottage (he’s the landlord and has a key – I forgot to mention that). And then, I know he’s a weredog and all, but he extremely creepily starts sniffing at her bed, rolling around in the sheets as cheesy song #2 starts up: “That Smell” by Lynyrd Skynyrd. Seriously, whoever is picking the music for this show needs to try a lighter touch.

Next time on True Blood / previously on True Blood

The Fall - movie review

Mr. Mouse is always accusing me of hyperbole but in this case there's no exaggeration: The Fall (directed by Tarsem Singh) is the most gorgeous and visually stunning film I have ever seen. It is absolutely incredible, produced with the director's own money, filmed for over four years in over twenty-four countries around the world (including India, Argentina, Chile, Indonesia, Cambodia, Egypt, Fiji, the Maldives, China, Namibia and Nepal) and incorporating no CGI-effects. And it showed absolutely nowhere in this state, thus forcing me to wait for the DVD.

The plot is simple, a story-within-a-story framework. Cutie-pie Alexandria, a six year old migrant fruit picker, is stuck in a hospital after having fallen out of an orange tree, breaking her arm. Mischievious, curious and bored to death, she likes to wander the halls of the hospital and soon discovers Roy, (Lee Pace, "Ned" from Pushing Daisies) a silent movies era stunt man who is injured during the filming of a movie. Roy, despondent over the accident and losing his fickle girlfriend to the movie's leading man, is nonetheless charmed by Alexandria. He begins to tell her a story about five heroes, unlikely men who have banded together to defeat the evil Odious, a powerful man who has wronged each one of them.

The clever thing is that although we hear Roy's words telling the story, the images we see come from Alexandria's imagination - and it is big and colorful and boundless. As Roy gets to know his little friend, however, he begins to manipulate the story - and her - to his own ends, stopping at the most exciting times and asking her to do things for him, like raid the pharmacy for more morphine. The heroes' predicament becomes more and more dire as Roy's own physical and emotional distress grows. By the movie's gripping and tear-inducing climax, it is completely up in the air if anyone - the main characters or the characters in the story-within-the-story - will survive.

The little Romanian girl who plays Alexandria, Catinca Untaru, was discovered by the director just for this movie and she's just perfect: cute, funny and not at all precious. Most of her scenes with Lee Pace were at least partially improvised and they are lovely together.

For some reason that I simply cannot fathom, the U.S. gave The Fall an R rating for violence but both Iron Man and The Dark Knight were far more violent than this spectacular film. There are some sword fights and guns and arrows but certainly nothing graphic.

The Fall is a feast for the eyes (Roger Ebert called it "a mad folly, an extravagant visual orgy") and a joy for the heart and mind. You will either love it or, if you have no patience whatsoever for fantasy, hate it. I've never seen anything like it before and I loved it loved it loved it.