As I mentioned, this episode is a little slow with not much gore and no explicit sex, plus there's a lot of pillow talk between Sookie and Bill which, while is supposed to be demonstrating how close they are becoming, I just find boring. I prefer to spend my True Blood time with Eric and Jessica and Lafayette and Sam.
Daphne leads Sam out into the woods, away from the party, shedding clothes as she does. He follows, picking up her clothes and as he comes around a tree, he surprises a doe. “Well, hey,” says Sam. The doe transforms into Daphne. “Hey your own self,” she grins. Sam starts to hyperventilate. After the credits, all he can say is: “Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ!” Daphne just smiles and tells him, “You’re not alone anymore.” “Well, yeah!” says Sam. They start to make out but are interrupted by Terry and Arlene, who are themselves looking for a place to get busy. Daphne gives Sam a quick smooch and runs off.
In Dallas, Sookie chases Barry the mind-reading bellhop down the hall, begging him to stop. She introduces herself as a fellow telepath and starts peppering him with questions but he is very, very nervous, not wanting to talk about their “gifts.” Barry begs her not to tell anyone about him and runs away.
Back in the room, Bill is reading Jessica the riot act for ordering that boy off the menu: it’s only True Blood for her from now on. Jessica stomps off to her room, muttering that he’s going to be SO sorry when she gets an eating disorder. Heh. Next, Bill tries to lecture Sookie about being more careful since the Dallas vampires are very, very dangerous. She sort of promises to be good then pushes him down onto the couch and climbs on top of him.
Meanwhile, in her own room Jessica has called Hoyt and he’s just as sweet on the phone to her as he was in person, telling her he can’t stop thinking about her. His momma barges into Hoyt’s bedroom, ranting that any girl that calls so late isn’t ladylike … Hoyt shuts the door in her face and then he asks Jessica if she would like him to read his comic book to her over the phone. Jessica would like that very much. Awww.
Over at church camp, the recruits are rousted out of bed early and put through their paces by a mean drill sergeant: calisthenics, running for miles and miles, obstacle courses. Luke and Jason get competitive with each other, of course. Some time later, however, Luke has overdone it and can’t make it over a chain link fence. The drill sergeant (soon to be known as “Gabe”) gets in his face, humiliating him. Jason’s good heart takes over and he scales the fence, then leans back over and gives Luke a helping hand so he can climb over too. Sarah’s panties just about dissolve at that.
Back in Bon Temps, Tara wakes up in her bed at Sookie’s house, snuggled up to Eggs. She tells him that this was the first birthday she can remember that she enjoyed, all because of him. “First of many, Tara Mae,” Eggs says.
Sookie slips out of bed without waking Bill and sneaks downstairs to find Barry. He’s setting up the hotel’s continental breakfast and is annoyed that she won’t leave him alone. Barry is frazzled, saying that the reason he has to work with vampires is to keep the noise in his head down. Sookie offers to teach him control it but he brushes her off, saying there’s enough people in his brain already.
Back up in her room, she inadvertently wakes Bill up when she gets back into bed. She tells Bill about Barry: he’s not very nice and he’s not very good at it, but it’s good to meet another telepath. Bill is cranky about her slipping off the leash and blah blah blah, there’s lots of talk and I’m bored. Bill is also concerned that Eric is so tense about this Godric business. Whatever, Bill, I’m sure he has his reasons.
Things are a little snippy between Arlene and Daphne at Merlotte’s until Lafayette walks in, to Arlene and Terry’s delight. Lafayette asks Sam if they can talk in private, but then he refuses to answer any of Sam’s questions about where he’s been, just asking for his job back. Sam: “Of course you can have your job back – place ain’t the same without you.” Sam gently asks him what happened but Lafayette just backs away, a shadow of his former self.
When Tara goes down to the kitchen, Maryann has made herself right at home in Sookie’s house, informing Tara that she, Karl and Eggs need a new place to stay: she was just house-sitting at the gorgeous home she’d been in. Tara stutters, saying that Maryann can’t move in here – it’s not her house and Sookie doesn’t know them from Adam. Maryann gets upset and runs out. When Tara confronts Eggs about their being homeless nomads, he’s defensive and says a house doesn’t matter – it’s caring about people that makes a family.
Back in Dallas, Eric, Bill and Sookie are meeting with the current vampire powers-that-be, Isabelle and Stan. Stan is a big ol’ redneck who believes that the Church has kidnapped Godric (when someone asks how it could be the humans captured Godric, Stan grumps, “2,000 years don’t make you smart.”) and thinks that their only course is to raid the Church, rescue their Sheriff and slaughter all the vampire-hating humans. Isabelle thinks that’s rash, Eric is quickly losing patience, and Sookie is amazed that a vampire could be 2,000 years old.
At the Newlins’ house, Gabe waits off to one side while Steve and Sarah argue. She feels like she’s being shut out – “Why does Gabe always know more than I do? And you two are going too far!” – but Steve doesn’t listen to her, telling Gabe that he’s doing good work. Jason shows up and Steve is pleased to see him, saying that he wants to show him something. They go down-cellar, leaving a pouting Sarah behind, to “the Light of Day Institute of Research and Development” which is a huge weapons cache. Steve says that they don’t quite know all the ways to kill vampires yet, but they’re getting close: a wooden arrow is like a “little bitty stake;” a wooden bullet is more effective than a silver one if shot through the heart; there are huge flame throwers and silver throwing stars; and there’s even a guillotine on order. Of course Steve has to explain what a guillotine is to Jason.
That evening, Karl drives Maryann up to Merlotte’s. She sits there in the car, glaring at the restaurant, and then does some of her magical flickering. Inside Merlotte’s, all of a sudden things get very cranky. Everyone starts picking on each other, and messing up orders. But mostly everyone picks on Tara, yelling at her and dogging her relentlessly. Miserable, Tara tells all of them to fuck off and then leans against the bar, frustrated and angry. Outside, Maryann smiles at Karl and says her work is done. They drive away.
Jason is soaking in the bathtub when Sarah lets herself in and locks the door behind her. He is nervous, eyes wide, and when she sits next to the tub and says she wants to help, he doesn’t know what to do. She rolls up her sleeve and starts washing his chest. Then, unable to restrain herself, she plunges her hand beneath the soapy water. “No!” he protests. “You don’t mean it,” she replies, “After all your trials, heartache and pain, God wants you to have a reward. Let me reward you, Jason.” And then she brings him off, right there in the tub.
Stan and Isabelle are still arguing and the Louisiana contingent is getting fed up. Sookie suggests that she could infiltrate the Church, read some minds and find out if Godric is being held there. Stan thinks it’s a waste of time; Isabelle doesn’t think there’s any other way; Eric says that’s it, we’re doing this. But Bill would like a word with him, privately: It’s too dangerous for Sookie – and just why is Eric so worried about the Sheriff of Area 9?
Flashback to 1,000 years ago: Eric’s a goddamn Viking! Awesome! He’s been badly wounded and a couple of his men are trying to help him, refusing to leave him to die. When they camp at night, a feral-looking earth sprite of a vampire (an earth sprite with wicked big teeth) makes short work of the other two men before deciding that Eric is both pretty enough and an impressive enough fighter to make into his companion. This is of course Godric and he is Eric’s maker.
After the bar closes, Daphne stays to help Sam clean up. Sam is really falling for this girl, thrilled and amazed to finally have met someone like him. Soon enough, they’re naked and having sex on the pool table.
When Tara gets home, Maryann is waiting up for her, dressed like June Cleaver in a housedress and apron, reading a cookbook. She tells Tara that while they haven’t found a place yet, they’ll still leave in the morning; in the meantime, she’s made dinner for Tara and filled the fridge for her. Tara takes her hand and asks her to stay – she’ll talk to Sookie. Master manipulator Maryann just smiles.
Back at the hotel, Bill tries to talk Sookie out of going to the Church but she says that she gave Eric her word. Then they do it. Sookie really likes sex with Bill. However, out in the hallway, a fetching, slinky vampire sashays down the corridor. She pauses in front of their door and as Sookie sighs coitally, “Oh, Bill!” the girl vamp’s fangs pop right out. She looks like trouble.
Previously on True Blood / next time on True Blood
25 minutes ago