Eighth Annual FMS Scarelicious October Movie Series: #9 Zoombies

I don't know what possessed me to pull Zoombies up on Netflix the other night.  My very first note reads: "There is NO WAY this is any good.  I predict lots of bad CGI."  And holy shit, was I right.  This may be the worst "movie" I have ever watched in my life.  The introduction feels like a TV movie from the 1990s.  The acting is terrible, especially by the one child actor.  The story, as it were, is this:  for some unknown reason, the animals at an endangered species sanctuary*/zoo become infected with a virus (maybe) that turns them all into zombies on the day before the zoo opens, and all the people working there - including some truly insipid "college students" there on internships - try to get out alive.  On the plus side, the virus is not transferable to humans; on the negative side, if it had been, this whole thing would have been over much faster.

Here's a list of the completely awful CGI Zoombies inflicts upon its viewers:

• zombie capuchin monkeys
• eyeballs getting plucked out of a veterinarian's face by said zombie capuchins
• zombie giraffes (I actually kind of loved that)
• non-zombie elephants (later possibly zombified but that wasn't clear)
• zombie lions
• humans riding on CGI non-zombie elephants
• zombie gorilla (also sometimes an actual dude in a gorilla suit, so points for practical effects)
• zombie lemurs
• CGI skull-crushing/blood spurtings
• zombie lions chasing the jeep
• truly appalling CGI zip-lining by remaining humans
• zombie macaws pecking their way through glass
• zombie eagle on fire

Other items to be duly noted.  Most of the zombie attacks/killings happened off-screen - WTF is the point of that?  This apparently took place in Canada because a rescue helicopter had ONTARIO written on its side.  When something got infected, a zookeeper said, "I have some ointments" which were obviously just a giant tub of Vaseline.  Here's one of the really good lines some guy said: "I don't see any animals.  Then again, they could be in hiding."  OSCAR-WORTHY SCREENPLAY RIGHT THERE.

I could go on, I guess, but I won't.  Here, unequivocally;  DO NOT WATCH ZOOMBIES.  Unless you're planning a drinking game around it, in which case go nuts.  (I do kind of like the poster, though.)