Monday, May 31, 2010

Italian Cowboys vs. Southern Vampires

The plan had been to get my True Blood S2 DVDs up and running so as not to lag in the recap action, but and I seem to have a disagreement as to what "available" means: I think it means they should have shipping me the first TB S2 disk, while they think it means skip over the TB set and send me Extract instead. Which I don't have anyway because of the holiday.  Life as an unpaid t.v./movie blogger is so hard.

However, Mr. Mouse and I have managed to get through 3.5 movies in our spaghetti western 20-pack.  We've decided to keep a list and rank the movies as we get through them, not giving them grades but ranking the whole twenty from favorite to "OMGthatwastheworsthingever."  So far we've seen Beyond the Law (1968), in which Lee Van Cleef plays a former bandit turned Western town sheriff; Apache Blood (1975, a/k/a "Pursuit") where Ray Danton stars as an Apache chief out for blood when all of his people are killed by white soldiers; and This Man Can't Die (1967), starring Guy Madison as a government agent who returns home after years away to find his parents brutally murdered and his youngest sister raped by the parent-murdering banditos.  We're also halfway through Gunfight at Red Sands (1964, with Richard Harrison) but have had to pause in our viewing of it because we both fell asleep due to the extreme slowness of the film. 

Thus far, TMCD is at number one, then BtL, GaRS and AB pulling up the rear.  AB is a really, really bad movie and the reviews and comments on it at IMBD are hilarious.  The acting is bad, the directing is bad, the editing is gawdawful, the story - which could have been accomplished in 40 minutes - is stretched to 90, and even that is too long.  It's rated R for some reason - maybe for "Really boRing" - but certainly not for the violence because the editing cuts away from all the kill shots ... and there could have been good ones, including death by cactus and a man vs. bear fight.

We're enjoying watching these though and are interested to see if any of the other sixteen as-yet unseen movies can top Apache Blood in sheer awfulness.  And if they do, you can be sure to hear about it here.

1 comment:

  1. Apache Blood sounds awful. Good luck with the remaining 16.