Sookie continues her freak out from last week, because of naked Sam at the foot of her bed. He pleads with her, saying he’s got to tell her something about himself and she freaks even harder: you killed my grandmother! She jumps out of bed and hides in the bathroom, brandishing a loofah on a stick for protection. After a couple of moments, she peeks out of the shower to see the dog sitting in the middle of the room. The dog takes a few steps forward and then morphs back into naked Sam. Dang - nice butt! Sookie’s jaw hits the floor. “I’m not a killer,” says Sam, “I’m a shapeshifter.” Sookie gets this fantastic expression on her face – amazed and incredulous and gobsmacked – and says, “Shut the fuck up!”
At Miss Jeannette’s, Tara is preparing herself for her own exorcism. There’s a ritual involving herbs, spit, nasty drinks.
Amy is still bleeding Eddie, pounding on his arm to break up the clots. She finds the empty bottles of Tru Blood that Jason fed Eddie and starts to get a little crazy, thinking that Jason is hiding things from her. Eddie pleads with her, saying that Jason loves her.
Sam explains to Sookie that “shifters” number in the tens of thousands, and while shifting is hereditary, he was adopted so he doesn’t know anything about his birth parents. She asks if he can turn into anything – cats, birds? Cats sure; birds yes, but flyin’s hard. Dogs are easiest for him, plus everyone likes dogs and other animals tend to leave them alone. He cannot, however, turn into another person because “humans are too complex … despite what you might think from the bar.” He can change whenever he wants but it wears off when he falls asleep, and when there’s a full moon, he can’t help the change. But do NOT call him a werewolf: he’s not, plus werewolves are dangerous. Sookie’s mind is blown: “Life is getting too weird too fast.” Sam moves to comfort her but she snaps at him not to touch her. Poor Sam thought she of all people would understand but she shrieks that she’s never hidden what she is and rushes in the house. Poor Sam - c’mere and I’ll rub your belly.
Back to the exorcism. Now poor Tara is laid out on the ground, shivering and groaning, twitching. She vomits, huge quantities of fluid, and Jeannette shouts for the demon to show itself. Suddenly, Tara sees herself as a little girl walking out of the trees. Jeannette looks and there’s nothing there that she can see, but she gives Tara a knife. Tara lurches towards the vision and slashes at it, losing her balance and falling to the ground. The little girl vanishes and Tara stares at the knife, which is dripping blood. Sobbing, she casts it away and Jeannette comes to her, stroking her hair, murmuring that her demon is gone and everything’s okay.
The next morning, Amy wants to talk to Jason about Eddie. She says that their treatment of him has been uncivilized and while they can’t let him go, they can make him more comfortable. She explains to him what Stockholm syndrome is and, once Eddie loves her like he loves Jason, they could keep him like a pet. Stupid Jason is down with that. Amy heads out to the store to fetch some Tru Blood for their pet Eddie and Jason adorably leans into the mirror, smiling at himself: “My god, you are even better lookin’ than you were yesterday.”
Tara comes home and tells Lettie Mae that she had her exorcism and it worked. Lettie Mae hugs her daughter, saying they’ve been saved. Tara tells her momma to get dressed: she’s taking her out to celebrate.
At Merlotte’s, they’re decorating for Arlene and Rene’s engagement party. Sookie is some wicked bitchy to Sam. Then Sam has a flashback to the first time he shapeshifted as a young boy, changing into his family’s pet beagle right in front of his adoptive parents. It looks traumatic.
Ooh, Lafayette. He’s waxing his chest and watching black and white movies when his state senator stops by. The senator isn’t there for sex, however, he wants some V to amp up for tonight’s speech. Lafayette’s sold out (and apparently doesn’t know yet about Eddie’s kidnapping) but offers up some more prosaic sexual shenanigans to relax his guest instead.
Tara and Lettie Mae are driving back from a crawfish shack when Lettie Mae starts to feel a little ill from overeating. “I told you not to suck the heads,” remarks Tara. She stops off at a drugstore to get some Pepto-Bismol and, lo and behold, the clerk is none other than Miss Jeannette. Tara is furious, slamming the other woman up against the shelves and threatening to call the cops for conning her and her mother. “I actually thought you fixed me – I am such a fuckin’ dumbass!” shouts Tara. She tells Jeannette that her mother will start drinking again if she finds out that Jeannette is a fake and storms off, muttering “Fuck … fuck … fuck …”
Party! Sam hired an awesome band. Sookie sulks in a corner, drinking an orange pop. Terry Bellefleur tries to cheer her up but all she can really say is that she wishes Bill were here. (Hey, you know what? I haven’t missed ol’ Bill at all!) Terry nods, and says that there’s some dead people he wishes were still around too. Aw.
Oh, here are all the vampires. They’re at the tribunal, in some place that looks like Thunderdome sort of. There’s a vamp in the center of the crowd, chained and on his knees: his crime was feeding on a human that belonged to another vampire. The sentence, handed down by the Magistrate (some small, bald character actor that I know I should know) who is sitting in the back of an El Camino, is to have his fangs ripped out and to starve for the months until they grow back. The vampire’s mouth gushes blood and saliva as his teeth are ripped out; the audience vamps snarl in response. Bill’s case is up next.
Jason feeds Eddie some allowed Tru Blood and Eddie, clearly smarter than Jason, asks if Amy mentioned finding the empties. She didn’t, and Jason is perturbed, wondering what she’s up to. But there’s no time to dwell: he and Amy are going to the party. They leave, and Eddie’s cell phone starts ringing as he stares at it, longingly. It’s Lafayette calling: he is at Eddie’s house and is concerned about the wide open door and signs of struggle. Then he sees something (?) on the floor and spits, “Jason Stackhouse, you bigmouthed motherfucker!”
Sam cuts in when Rene is dancing with Sookie and asks her for a truce, saying it’s not fair to be mad about something he can’t help. She says he should have trusted her, but continues to be snippy to him, so Sam retorts that he trusted his instincts not to tell her, and his instincts proved right.
Hoyt tells Jason that Amy’s his favorite of all the girls Jason has dated; Rene wants to know if she’s going to be the one that takes Jason Stackhouse off the market for good. Jason says he never felt this way about a girl before and, because of it, he feels like he may have “lost the upper hand in the relationship.” Rene says okay, then take it back – women like that. Ooh boy, I can’t wait to see Jason try that.
Back at Bill’s trial, he tries to explain that the bartender was throttling Sookie, but the Magistrate says that he murdered a higher life form for the sake of one of his pets. Very, very bad. Bill tries again, saying that the bartender was robbing Eric and that the human Bill saved was only there to help uncover the theft. The Magistrate is not quite swayed, but he isn’t bored so that’s in Bill’s favor. He says that the usual sentence for killing another vamp is five years in a coffin, chained with silver, by the end of which the vampire’s body is reduced to leather and sticks and the vampire’s mind is shattered. However, the Magistrate is feeling “a bit creative” tonight – which doesn’t sound that great for Bill either, frankly.
Arlene tells Amy and Sookie that what she loves about Rene, aside from his cute little Cajun butt, is that he’s a good man, who takes care of her and the kids – her four former husbands were all “fixer-uppers.” Amy blathers on about how she loves that Jason is all on the surface like, way to point out how shallow he is. Sookie is still all about Sookie, pouting that she doesn’t see how anyone can trust anyone ever. Then Tara staggers up, FIERCE in the red sequined mini-dress from her prom in 2000. Sookie drags her off to the side, saying that she’s never seen her so drunk – and why didn’t she tell her about Sam? Because it wasn’t any of your business, slurs Tara.
Detective Andy Bellefleur corners Sam at the bar, reiterating that his nudist colony story didn’t pan out. What’s Sam’s story? Cue another flashback: teenaged Sam comes home to find his house empty, except for his bedroom. His adoptive parents, freaked over their freak of a son, ran away and left him behind. Aw. Back in the now Andy persists, saying he couldn’t find any record of Sam before he moved to Bontemps … until Tara staggers onto the scene, spilling her drink on Andy and fastening her mouth on Sam’s for a big sloppy kiss. “Hey, baby … I have a serious situation,” she tells him. She tells Andy off and drags Sam into the office, wanting to scratch an itch. But he’s upset, saying that she’s not the only one who has demons, and what the hell is it that she wants from him anyway? Hurt by the rejection, Tara shouts that she doesn’t want nothin’ from nobody and stomps away.
Oh dear. Lafayette has made his way to the party and is looking for Jason. He finds him, taking a leak off to the side. Lafayette is furious, saying that if the other vampires find out that he’s been selling Eddie’s blood, they’ll kill him. Jason tries to soothe him, saying everything’s fine but Lafayette just knocks him to the ground, saying that Jason better start paying attention to the bodies stacking up around him, because he, Lafayette, is NOT going to be next.
At the tribunal, the Magistrate brings out a human girl. “William Compton, you owe us a life.” Bill backs away, saying no, he’ll take the coffin, please. The girl begs but the Magistrate introduces her to Bill, saying, “Meet your maker.”
Sookie goes into the bar to fetch more ice for the party when the lights go out. “That’s not funny!” she shouts, and then gets a vision (she gets visions?) of a girl getting attacked. And then it’s her getting attacked as a figure lunges at her, grabbing her neck. Sookie struggles with her attacker and gets away, running into Sam at the entrance to the bar. She clutches him, shaking and crying, as they listen for the intruder.
Oh dear. Drunk Tara is driving somewhere, bawling her eyes out and drinking more. Then she sees a naked woman with a huge pig standing in the middle of the road. Tara shouts and swerves away from them, ending up in a field. The woman turns – it’s Admiral Cain from BSG – and walks away with her pig. Seriously, WTF?
Jason and Amy are arguing about what to do about Eddie. I guess this is Jason attempting to regain some control. He wants to let the vampire go and starts unchaining Eddie from the chair. Amy turns, grabs a handy fence picket and plunges it into Eddie’s chest, turning him instantaneously into bloody Silly String that Jason can’t get off his fingers. That is just so nasty.
Bill pleads for the girl’s life but the Magistrate tells him to stop stalling and get on with it. This is Bill’s first time siring another vampire and he’s extremely reluctant. But he is what he is, and he can’t get out of it. So he takes the girl’s hand gently and asks her name, casting a glamour over her, calming her. The Magistrate interrupts: glamouring is not allowed – they want to hear the screaming. Bill asks the girl’s forgiveness and bites down hard, sucking and sucking. The other vampires crowd in, moaning with pleasure as Bill gives himself over to the blood lust.
Previously on True Blood / next time on True Blood
18 hours ago