Watchlist, spring edition

 And this is what I've done since December 5, 2021:

• Finished S1 of Wheel of Time.  I think it finished stronger than it started - I actually wanted more when I wrapped up the last episode - but I very much take issue with what they're doing with Mat Cauthon's character.  I've been sporadically rereading the book series (midway through Book Four) and Mat is not evil and not a coward.  He's a charming troublemaker, and a reluctant hero, who does the right thing in spite of himself, with a big part to play.  This is not what the series is doing and I'm not happy about it.  I'll be waiting for S2 to see if they course-correct.
• I stalled out on Cowboy Bebop and am halfway through S6 of The Expanse.  I am just not interested in the Philip storyline and it's taking up too much time away from the core characters so I am having difficulty rallying to the finish.
• I watched Hellbound and while I very much enjoyed it while I was watching it, I can barely remember it now.  Pretty gnarly violence (CGI blood and burning).
• If you're a fan of stop-motion animation (I am), The House is fun.  Three tangentially connected stories, the first is very creepy and the next two are more charming and clever than eerie.  
• Loved Only Murders in the Building (Hulu).  Selena Gomez holds her own against legends Steve Martin and Martin Short.  Mr. Mouse actually wants to watch it so I'll watch it again with him.
• Got through WandaVision and Loki; started but fizzled out on The Falcon and the Winter Soldier.  WandaVision was fantastic and heart-breaking - kudos to Elizabeth Olsen.  I enjoyed Loki too but wanted much much more time with all the multiverse Lokis.  AlligatorLoki!
• Speaking of watching things with Mr. Mouse: we powered through all eleven (?) seasons of the live action Trailer Park Boys.  The first half of the series is very, very funny (being from Maine, we could recognize a lot of the Nova Scotia stereotypes and tropes); the last few seasons were a little too shouty but we needed to complete it.  Will not be continuing with the movie or the animated series.
• We also completed Money Heist.  The first heist was terrific.  The second heist had diminishing returns but we were vested in the characters at that point.
• I don't know where I stand on The Woman in the House Across the Street from the Girl in the Window.  I adore Kristen Bell and I liked the show ... but the tone was odd, swinging from tongue-in-cheek to playing it straight.  I would have been happy if it was all satire (I mean, the title alone) but also it was an actual thriller.  Just pick a side.
• I did a rewatch of the original 2001 Wet Hot American Summer movie (last day of camp) and also the revival series for the first day of camp.  Absolutely brilliant, so fun to see how young that massive cast was for the movie, before they all got famous.  Paul Rudd.
• Is It Cake?  Yes, I binged it.  Doesn't hold a candle to the Great British Baking Show/Bake-Off but isn't really trying to.  It is a silly, silly show and yet I got sucked in because all the contestants were supportive of each other and the host seemed to be enjoying himself and them.

Next up: finish The Expanse, plus Archive 81 and Wentworth, Moon Knight and The Mandalorian.  I've also been sucked into Happy Endings, which found a rerun home on Netflix.  That is an underrated sitcom that got better as it went along - laugh out loud funny.

Watchlist

 Hey, y'all!  Shockingly, I thought I'd check in and update this little blog with what I've watching for the last 35 days - instead of waiting a whole eleven months.  I have been diligently working through my watchlists, finishing languishing series and plowing through whole new ones.  This is what I've done since Halloween:

• Finished The 100.  I really liked the first three or so seasons but it really started dragging towards the end.  I do try to be a completist, however, and so I finished the last season.
• Finished the last season of Lucifer when the episodes were released.  When I started this show way back when I thought it was dumb, then I gave it a second chance and quite like it.  It was time for it to wrap up, though.
• Watched S1 of Reservation Dogs.  That was great and Mr. Mouse even watched it with me and enjoyed it.  Looking forward to S2.
• Got caught up on The Great British Baking Show when the most recent series was released on Netflix.  This show makes me so happy - everyone is so wholesome (although I am not a huge fan of Matt, sorry) and it's just a balm for the soul to watch.
• Watched S1 of Y: The Last Man.  I'm hearing that this may not be renewed which is too bad.  I didn't love it (could Yorick be more annoying?  I know, I have the comics, he's supposed to be) but there's so much story left to be told.  Strong cast.
• Started and am keeping up with The Wheel of Time.  I loved those books and own volumes 1-12  (Brandon Sanderson was the wrong person to finish it out - don't get me started) so I was intrigued to see how the show would be.  Again, I don't love it but it's getting better as it goes on.
• Got caught up by watching S5 of The Expanse.  This is a terrific sci fi show based on fantastic books.  I think it's getting one more season?
• Started a rewatch of the original Cowboy Bebop and have watched the first couple of episodes of the live action one.  Don't love the live action version but John Cho is certainly giving it his whole heart.  Needs more Ein!
• Watched Squid Game.  Loved it.  Hear they're making a S2 and think that's a bad idea.
• Watched Arcane only because Lindsey Stirling mentioned doing some violin work for it.  I know nothing about the game it's taken from but I really liked it lot.  Looking forward to more episodes.

Next on the list: I was going to start Wentworth (Australian prison drama, highly recommended by a friend) but I think I'm going to do Hellbound first.  I do love Korean horror and this has gotten good reviews.

What are you/have you been watching?

Twelfth Annual FMS Scarelicious October Movie Series: #14 Gretel & Hansel

 From director Oz Perkins - also director of The Blackcoat's Daughter and I Am the Pretty Thing that Lives in the House - comes the latest art house horror movie, Gretel & Hansel.  It isn't a strict retelling of the famous and gruesome Grimms fairytale but it is close:  Gretel (teenagerish, played by Sophia Lillis from IT) and her younger brother Hansel (annoying AF) flee their home after their mother descends into madness.  Ostensibly heading for a distant forestry encampment - Hansel dreams of being a woodcutter - they wind up at the house of an old woman (Alice Krige, very difficult to understand).  She takes them in and, in exchange for chores, feeds them from an abundance of delicious foods - despite there not being a garden or livestock anywhere nearby.  

Gretel, who may have second sight and who certainly has nightmares, begins learning herb craft from the witch (of course she's a witch) but becomes suspicious of the witch's intentions.  The old woman only wants to eat Hansel, however, and is trying to bring Gretel into her own witchy, womanly power.

This film is kind of a mess.  At 83ish minutes, it's either too short or too long.  The British-ish accents are all over the place and anachronisms abound (the witch's modern house, modern idioms).  It is gorgeous to look at, however, beautifully and unsettlingly shot, trippy and atmospheric.  It's slow, however, and really nothing much happens.  This is the third of Oz Perkins's horror-adjacent movies I've seen: atmospheric with nothing much happening seems to be his modus operandi.

That's it for this year.  I've been a little frustrated with finding good ( or even "good") horror movies to watch: the standard streaming services just don't offer much and a lot of what they do have is PG-13.  I've still got some DVDs in the queue, though, so maybe I'll come up with a hidden gem or two in the next couple of months.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to finish The 100, get caught up on The Great British Baking Show and start watching Squid Game.  Happy horror to you all!

Twelfth Annual FMS Scarelicious October Movie Series: #13 Till Death

Here was, quite literally, my biggest gripe with the decent thriller, Till Death, starring Megan Fox, the whole time I was watching: shouldn't it be 'Til Death?  I was wrong, apparently, because both 'til and till are correct usage as being short for "until" (and "till" has actually been around longer!).  To me, though, "till" made it seem like this was going to be a farming horror movie. Or maybe about a murderous cash register.  You learn something new every day, I guess.

Emma (a still completely gorgeous and up for it Fox) has been having an affair, feeling trapped by her controlling and menacing husband.  On a surprise anniversary trip to their lake house - they never go there in the winter - said husband lets her know that he knows about the affair in no uncertain terms.  SPOILER although it's pretty much given away in the trailer: she ends up handcuffed to his dead body, dragging him around the property (from which he has taken all phones/sharp objects/etc.) first trying to escape him, then trying to escape the two bad guys who have come for her.

There is absolutely a Gerald's Game + Weekend at Bernie's + Home Alone + Sleeping with the Enemy vibe going on her.  I am a fan of Megan Fox (she's so good in Jennifer's Body and I thought she was fantastic in New Girl) and she is absolutely a final girl to root for here, despite the clunky dialogue and obvious plot.  It isn't at all a horror movie (I continue to be amazed at what the streaming services designate as "horror") but it is a fun and slightly gory little thriller.

Twelfth Annual FMS Scarelicious October Movie Series: #12 The Wolf of Snow Hollow

On the plus side: as I was watching, I recognized an overhead canyon road shot - "Is that Little Cottonwood Canyon?" - and a ski lift shot - "Is that Solitude?" - and when I checked, The Wolf of Snow Hollow was indeed filmed on location in Utah, mostly in Kamas.  So that's cool!  On the negative side: almost* everything else.

Let me quote from the Netflix DVD sleeve:

A small town cop, struggling with a failed marriage, a rebellious daughter and a lackluster team of officers, is tasked with solving a series of brutal murders that are occuring on the full moon.  As he's consumed by the hunt for the killer, he struggles to remind himself that there's no such thing as werewolves ...

Boy howdy - struggle is right.  This is a tiny indie film ($2,000,000 budget; $186,026 box office (which certainly wasn't helped by a 2020 release)) but sometimes tiny indie films (The Blair Witch Project, Paranormal Activity, etc.) are fantastic so it wasn't the lack of money.  This was Robert Forster's last film and he was actually pretty good; Riki Lindhome was another bright spot.  But writer/director/lead actor Jim Cummings needs (a) acting lessons, (b) directing lessons and (c) screenwriting lessons.  Other than Forster and Lindhome, the acting was terrible.  The editing was awkward and confusing.  The music choices were sometimes so bizarre that I wondered if this was supposed to be a horror comedy; even after watching it and reading several reviews, I still don't know: parts were laughable but it certainly wasn't funny.  This was one of the longest 82ish minutes of my life.

*  I definitely appreciated the practical werewolf effects - I am such a sucker for dudes in wolf suits!  And the poster is really great.

Twelfth Annual FMS Scarelicious October Movie Series: #11: Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter

I watched the first and second Friday the 13ths back in 2010, and the third (3D) one in 2013.  Given the gap of eight years, at least I'm watching them in order.  By all accounts, however, this is the last good installment of F13, so maybe I won't seek out later ones.  On the plus side, this fourth - and not at all final - chapter has a baby Corey Feldman and a youthful Crispin Glover, who was pretty cute in 1984 but who soon proves that he has been a total freak right from the beginning.

Here's the plot, which picks up immediately after the events of #3, with police and ambulances collecting all the bodies, including Jason's.  They take his "corpse" to the hospital - wheeling it right in the front door, for hell's sake - and take it to the morgue.  The morgue attendant is too busy trying to make time with the cute nurse to notice Jason's reanimation.  He kills the morgue attendant and then the nurse, and then a chubby hitchhiker the next day on his way back to Crystal Lake.

Meanwhile, at Crystal Lake (I guess, although GOSH I might vacation elsewhere if there had been that many recent murders), Mrs. Jarvis, her 20-something daughter Trish and young son Tommy (Corey Feldman), plus Gordon the golden retriever, have moved in for the summer.  At the rental right next door, six horny teenagers/early 20-somethings show up for some R&R, wasting no time going skinny-dipping.  They meet up with two cute-and-horny twins and soon the party starts.  Also, Trish and Tommy meet Rob out on a country lane: he is ostensibly a hunter but he's really out there because his sister was one of Jason's victims.  All of this, by the way, is pretty decent character-development for a slasher.

And then the killings start.  This F13 has a fairly high body count: thirteen!  There is also a LOT of people crashing through windows (including poor Gordon), either being tossed through them by Jason or diving through trying to escape Jason.  As far as Final Girls go, Trish does a whole bunch of screaming but also does a good job of fighting back.  And while I seriously question that Tommy would take the time mid-massacre to shave his goddamn head, he does rally something fierce and save his big sister with a well-placed machete to Jason's head.  It's apparent that poor Tommy is going to have some serious issues in the years to come.

Twelfth Annual FMS Scarelicious October Movie Series: #10 Candyman 3: Day of the Dead

I watched the first Candyman back in 2014 but I don't think I ever saw II.  I suspect it doesn't matter much.  This third installment is from 1999 and is so bad that I'm only going to transcribe my notes so as not to spend any more time on it.

• And we start right off with a sexy, braless blonde: Donna D'Errico, our heroine - "Caroline"

• TONY TODD.  That is all.

• Donna D'Errico = a terrible actress btw

• Who the fuck takes the subway in Los Angeles?

• The Candyman wants Caroline (his great-great-grandaughter or something) to join?/believe in him so he starts killing off all her friends and framing her for it.  Genius. 

• Was Donna D'Errico on Baywatch? [Checks Wikipedia] YES.  She is 53 now and if you scroll through her Instagram [which I did while I was supposed to be watching the movie], #1 she looks younger now than she did in 1999 and #2 she's had so much work done that she doesn't look like she did then.  She looks amazing but ...

• This movie is trying to say something about white L.A. cops' racism against Hispanics.  But it's just so bad.

• Lol a bunch of pierced L.A. goths capture Caroline - they're worshipping the Candyman - and have tied her up with a ball gag in her mouth.  That's funny.

• This is by far the worst of the ten movies I've watched this month 

• I'm sorry but could someone please give this poor girl a bra?

• Such a bad movie BUT I can appreciate that Caroline wore sneakers (and not high heels) throughout - very sensible

Twelfth Annual FMS Scarelicious October Movie Series: #9 Suspiria (2018)

 I can't believe it's been since 2018 that the new Suspiria came out.  Which, incidentally, was when I watched the original, 1997 Suspiria.  Is it a problem that I didn't remember much of the original when I watched the new one?  As it turns out, no: in broad strokes, they're much the same.  But anyone who loves the first one is going to realize that the new one is quite different.  Some spoilers ahead.

Susie Bannion (Dakota Johnson) is a former Amish runaway who has come to 1977 Berlin to join the Markos Dance Company.  Despite not having much formal training, she is accepted and quickly becomes the principal dancer for the company.  The instructors are all witches, you see, and see Susie as the pure vessel they have been seeking for their ritual to resurrect (maybe?) their three goddesses/main witches.  Susie is down with that, especially since the charismatic yet intimidating Madame Blanc (the always amazing Tilda Swinton), the company's main instructor, quickly develops a relationship with the girl.  Meanwhile, other dancer Sara - who was Susie's first friend at the company - begins to think something strange is afoot in the dark rooms and tunnels beneath the dance school; she makes the acquaintance of a German psychologist, a sad man (also played by Tilda Swinton, under very good layers of makeup) who lost his wife to the Nazi camps in WWII (and this subplot needlessly complicates things) and who used to have as a patient a former dancer, paranoid and now gone missing.

This movie must have been percolating in my subconscious because now the plot seems to make much more sense as opposed to when I was watching it when my notes read "Really not sure what's going on but there seems to be a power struggle among three major witches: Markos, Blanc and an unnamed third ... I think Susie may be the third?"  The big finale scene is where all the lurid reds of the original film show up, with exploding heads and gushes of blood.  I was a big fan of the exploding heads, by the way, but my notes: "I don't know what is happening."  

Final thoughts: The new Suspiria is super weird and over-long but it has been my favorite movie of the month so far.

Twelfth Annual FMS Scarelicious October Movie Series: #8 Fear Street Part 1: 1994

I will admit to never having read any R.L. Stine, upon some of whose works the Fear Street Netflix movie series is based.  I was under the impression that he wrote scary stuff but for kids - this Fear Street Part 1: 1994 has a light touch for the most part BUT when it gets gruesome, it goes allllllll in.

In this universe, there are two towns next to each other: Sunnyvale, where everyone is happy and rich and safe and has pet unicorns (not the last one), and Shadyside, where people are poor and struggling and there are murders every week.  Guess in which town this movie is set? 

Our heroine, Deena, has a support system of a younger brother (Josh, who is way into the brand new internet and a big fan of chatrooms) and friends Kate (smart, cheerleader and also prescription drug dealer) and Simon (Kate's sidekick and not much more character development).  After a Shadyside v Sunnyside candlelight vigil/football game, Deena's ex-girlfriend Sam, who moved to Sunnyvale, and a bunch of her new classmates get in a car wreck after harrassing the departing Shadyside school bus.  Deena, Kate and Simon help Sam, but only after she has inadvertently bled all over the buried bones of the persecuted witch, Sarah Fier.  This awakens the witch, who apparently periodically possesses local folk, sending them on murderous rampages over the last three hundred years.  All the previously possessed individuals start coming for Sam and it is up to Deena and her squad to defeat them.

FYI: Grown-ups do not really factor into things here, other than to stand in the way.

I have a couple of small quibbles with the setting: although I totally dug all the 90s music, some of it was rather on the nose (which I suppose you might not realize if you weren't around in the 90s to listen to it over and over again), plus a couple of those songs were not out yet in 1994; and also I'm a little skeptical that high school same sex romances would be quite that out in the early 1990s.

The acting was okay, the premise was okay and, as mentioned above, when the kills got gruesome they really went for it, but I dunno.  Maybe I was tired but this movie just didn't hold my attention.  Eight horror/"horror" movies in and I still haven't been super-stoked about any of them.  I'm always hopeful for the next one!

Twelfth Annual FMS Scarelicious October Movie Series: #7 Sorority Row

The R-rated slasher, Sorority Row, is pretty standard for a modern (2009) slasher.  I've certainly seen worse and this one had a couple of faces that I recognized: Rumer Willis, Jamie Chung (super-cute) and omg the queen Carrie Fisher as the Theta Pi housemother. 

A prank goes horribly wrong at a house party and a sorority sister (Megan) ends up dead.  Rather than go to the police, four of her sisters (Jessica/ringleader and bitch archetype; Chugs/promiscuous; Claire/second fiddle to Jessica; Ellie/smart and nervous) cover it up, dumping the body down a mine shaft and then blackmailing a fifth sister (Cassidy/heroine and too good to be in a sorority but loyal to her sisters despite their faults) into keeping it secret.  Eight months later, it's graduation and the Theta Pis have one last house party to celebrate.  Mrs. Krenshaw tells them to have fun, be safe and don't damage the house.  SPOILER: they burn it down.

A hooded, masked killer starts picking off everyone who knew about Megan's murder, at first using a tire iron like the one that was used to kill Megan, and then adding knife blades to make it extra.  The bodies pile up, as they do in a slasher: in addition to the sisters getting picked off, several seemingly-random bystanders are killed too, until you realize that they also knew or found out about the murder.  The killer is keeping it secret by killing everyone involved.  Some of the murders are inventive - wine bottle and flare gun, I'm looking at you - others are the standard stabbings expected in this sort of movie.

I jumped a couple of times but generally, this isn't a tension-building scary slasher; it only has a medium amount of blood.  And, in a nice twist, all the male characters looked the same - I literally could not tell them apart.