Heroes recap: “Fight or Flight” - airdate 10/22/07 (S2E5)

The dropping: Monica adds double-Dutch jump rope to her list of superpowers. Nathan and Parkman start dealing with some of Parkman’s daddy issues and end up having a WAY better fight scene than the Peter vs. Sylar finale from last year. Mohinder has still not grown much of a spine, no matter how much I yell at the television. And Kristin Bell does her best Veronica Mars with a ‘tude impersonation – shocking! (Later, you’ll see just how bad that last attempted joke was.)

Ugh: we start with a Mohinder-voiceover. Luckily, my brain has adapted and I just don’t listen, although I think he gives us the episode title in there somewhere. Anyhow: Molly is still in her coma or whatever and Matt, feeling very guilty, decides to go after his father. He attempts to get more information out of Angela Petrelli before he goes, but instead runs into Nathan who wants to tag along. Matt points out that they could get there faster if Nathan would, you know, fly. Nathan: “I’m not a cargo jet.” Me: hee hee. In New Orleans, the police are asking Monica what happened with the would-be Burger Corral robber but she refuses to ID him, fearing reprisal. Her friend Camille is concerned about her, but Monica just can’t deal, saying she’s going home.

In Ireland, Peter and Caitlin suck face – at least then she’s not talking. (I think she needs her eyebrows waxed a little.) Little do they know that Veronica Mars is poking around down at the docks, looking for Peter, and the guy he almost TK’d to death earlier points her in the right direction. She works for The Company and has been sent to bring him back. And she has electric fingers. That’s not supposed to be dirty. (I apologize for calling her Veronica Mars but I don’t think we’ve been told her name yet.)

Caitlin’s brother Ricky shows up to inform Peter that an American girl is in town looking for him. Ricky then suggests that Peter and Caitlin lay low at Caitlin’s flat for a bit while Ricky handles the little blonde. Dude, you wouldn’t have wanted to tangle with her when she was just a high school PI – now she’s a natural born taser. Good luck with that. Parkman and Nathan bust into Parkman Sr.’s apartment, manhandling him into cuffs. Parkman Sr. insists that he’s in danger too and shows them his piece of the group photo with the red helix drawn over his face. Turns out he can read minds like his son – and more, but he won’t explain what the “more” is.

During the commercial break, I decide that even the trailer for Bionic Woman is lame. Could they have found a lead with less charisma?

Micah is playing the piano when Monica gets home. She sits beside him to enjoy the music and, before you know it, she’s playing too. It’s not just what she sees on television – this is even better! She wigs out until Micah, who really is smart, figures it out and shows her what he can do. He pulls out a St. Joan comic book (?) and says that he thinks his cousin is a “muscle-mimic,” basically a copycat. Monica likes the sound of that and they decide that the best, and most fun, thing to do would be to test out her newfound ability. Mohinder, panicking about Molly’s worsening condition, calls Mr. Bennet (who’s in the Ukraine with the Haitian) to say he’s taking Molly into The Company for help. Mr. Bennet thinks that’s a bad idea, reminding Mohinder that The Company is not to be trusted: “Remember whose side you’re on.” Parkman Sr. says he has some useful historical stuff from the first generation of Heroes. Like a dope, Parkman follows him into the other room, against Nathan’s better judgment. Bang – the door slams shut. The lights come up and Parkman is somehow locked in a jail cell, being roughed up by a burly guard. When Nathan busts down the door, he bursts onto the penthouse balcony in the middle of the apocalypse, NYC ruined and burning. Evil Parkman Sr. closes the door to his apartment, smirking “pleasant dreams” to the boys locked inside.

Oh crap, Ando and his secret scrolls. A couple of them have been damaged so he goes to some scroll-repair guy (like the sword-repair guy from last season that worked out so well) who is able to decipher the faded writing: Hiro and Kensei are getting along; Kensei is doing all the great feats he’s supposed to; and Kensei and Yaeko (that’s what her name is!) are falling in love. Whatever. Mohinder, that dumbass, has brought Molly into The Company and they hook her up to some IVs and a machine. Ned Ryerson then tells Mohinder that he needs to go into the field and collect another new Hero; he gives Mohinder a taser since sometimes the newbies have difficulty controlling their powers. Good thing he has that, because just then Jessica, the poster child for no self control whatsoever, busts down the door. She tosses Mohinder into the wall and starts choking Ned Ryerson until Mohinder drops her with a taser shot to the back. Convenient!

Peter and Caitlin get to her enormous studio flat with giant windows where, also conveniently (as we’ll see shortly), she is an amateur painter in her spare time. Peter decides he’s finally ready to open that box that holds all his past – and it’s a big let down, containing only his passport, some money, a photo of him with Nathan, and an open ticket to Montreal. Frustrated, he starts pacing until his eyes go white-visiony a la Isaac Mendes. He grabs a paintbrush – see, convenient! – and starts in on a canvas. Caitlin is pretty sure she doesn’t like his eyes all white like that. Down at the pub, Veronica Mars shows up, flirts a little with Ricky, and asks after Peter. Ricky is mostly polite but entirely unhelpful and she gets all voltage-y on his ass. Looks bad for old Ricky, methinks. When Niki comes to later, sans Jessica, Mohinder makes to free her from her restraints and bust her out. She stops him, saying she came to The Company of her own volition to be cured of her “sickness.”

This next scene is so very excellent. Nathan meets Alternathan (himself with the burned and scarred face) up on the NYC balcony. In his cell, Parkman’s ex-wife Janice and a baby suddenly appear. Janice says he abandoned the baby just like Parkman’s dad abandoned him, then the burly guard throws him against the wall. Alternathan taunts Nathan and they too start to fight. When Alternathan head butts Nathan, it cuts to the guard head butting Parkman. The shots cut back and forth between the two scenarios – Nathan punching Alternathan and the guard reeling back from the blow Parkman just dealt him, etc. - until we (and Parkman) figure out that Parkman Sr. has Nathan and Parkman actually fighting each other, believing they are fighting separate adversaries. Parkman snaps them out of it somehow and they awaken in the middle of Sr.’s apartment. It’s really cool so I rewind and watch it a third time. They regroup, aware that they don’t know where Sr. went – until Nathan finds Ned Ryerson’s photo with the red helix. “Looks like he’s next,” sighs Nathan.

Yawn: 1671 Japan. Kensei, Hiro and Yaeko get ready to battle some White Beard to rescue Yaeko’s father. Problem is, White Beard has such a hugenormous army that even Kensei can’t come up with something sarcastic to say. And suddenly the scroll ends, too badly damaged for Ando to read how the adventure ends. “But I must know what happens next!” he cries, getting all meta on us. Ando, if you’ve been following along, the other stories are much more interesting than Hiro’s, actually. In New Orleans, Monica and Micah confer again about their specialness and what they may be fated to do with their gifts. Just then, a knock at the door: it’s Mohinder. Apparently Monica is the newbie he’s been assigned to bring in. I hope she ends up kicking his ass for being such a weenie.

In Ireland, Veronica gets a call from the office. When she ‘fesses up to having killed Ricky (“just some guy,” as she puts it), she is ordered to return home. She gets all petulant: “I’m sorry, Daddy, it won’t happen again.” She must be Ned Ryerson’s daughter, poor girl. Peter snaps out of his vision-thing and he and Caitlin guess that the picture he’s painted is of some place in Montreal (since the street signs are in French), just like the plane ticket. Caitlin’s phone rings. Cut to the pub, where Ricky is charred to a cinder. Peter embraces a sobbing, flailing Caitlin, muttering, “I can’t hide anymore” and promising to find out who did this.

Can I just say that all these different storylines are a BITCH to recap. Of course, this seems to be more like comic book storytelling, using short snippets of narrative that are just enough to keep you wanting more when the action suddenly stops. Still, my attention span is pretty long and I find all this jumping around a little frustrating. Although I guess I should be grateful because it means minimal Mohinder. As you can see, I’m torn.