The Walking Dead S8E13 "Do Not Send Us Astray" 3/25/18

Did anyone watch The Terror?  I didn't although that episode was appended onto the TWD episode in our DVR and before I realized that, I was quite terrified to think that I was going to have to recap a full two hour episode.  Thank goodness for small favors.

So, Morgan is seeing things: Gavin (is that his name?), the dude who Henry killed with a spear through the neck, haunts Morgan, saying ominous things.  So there's that.

The battle between the Hilltop and the Saviors, this time led by Simon, begins. Maggie's got a pretty good plan and it works pretty well to start.  Lookouts warn the Hilltop of the approach.  The Saviors don't show up until after dark and thus fail to see the spike strips laid out, slashing their tires.  Daryl rides through them on his motorcycle, guns a-blaze.  The Hilltop opens their gates to allow him in and the Saviors, sensing an opportunity, rush in.  But Maggie is ready for them and blocks their ingress with the school bus, and then the Hilltop jumps up, surrounding the Saviors on all sides, and lets loose with the guns.

As the Saviors start to advance, the Hilltop retreats, shutting down all lights.  The Saviors press their advantage and then the lights flood on and another wave of gunfire and arrow warfare ensues.  There's casualties on both sides but the Hilltoppers don't know about the sneaky trick with the zombie-blood-soaked weapons.  Simon, dragging Dwight along with him, almost shoots an unsuspecting Tara in the back but Dwight tags her with an arrow instead, not enough to wound her seriously but enough to make Simon turn his attention elsewhere.  It is my opinion that Dwight did not soak his arrows in infected zombie junk as he was so horrified by Simon's suggestion to do so.  I guess we'll see.

Finally, Simon either realizes that he's not going to actively kill all the Hilltop OR it's part of his plan, to have infected enough Hilltoppers to do the damage from the inside.  The remaining Saviors retreat to lick their wounds and/or gloat.  Both Maggie and Rick are somewhat put out that Negan was not in the attack group.  The Hilltop starts to tend to the wounded, putting things to right.  Rick is pretty much mute in the aftermath of the fight, grief over Carl making its way back in.

That night, stupid Henry - whom I dislike just about as much if not more than I ever disliked Carl as a little kid - steals a semiautomatic rifle and goes out to the pen where Maggie is keeping the Savior prisoners.  He wants to know which one of them killed his brother.  He's gonna fuck this up for sure, poor dumb kid.

Meanwhile, in the house, the wounded Hilltoppers are succumbing to the zombie infection in record time.  No, seriously.  While it took Carl more than a day to die from an actual walker bite, these people are turning zombie in a couple of hours - the show even provides us with shots of a clock so we can see the time.  It is stupid carnage: no one hears any screams or growls at first, even though a whole bunch of people are sleeping in a pile in the middle of the floor; no one hears a zombie falling down the staircase.  The zombies manage to kill off a lot of nameless, faceless (and now throatless) Hilltoppers before the main characters - Rick, Michonne, Morgan, Carol, Daryl, etc. - figure shit out and put down all the walkers.

Afterwards, they stand around and are all, WTF?  Most of those turned weren't mortally wounded.  Rick remembers that when he fought Negan, Lucille (the barbed wire baseball bat) was soaked in gore and they all put it together, that these motherfucking Saviors infected their wounded on purpose.  Then Daryl's like, OMG Tara.  They all go to the upstairs bedroom where Rosita and Tara are defending some children or wounded people.  Everyone brings Tara up to speed and they all have sad faces.  I reiterate my belief that Dwight didn't infect his arrows.  Since Tara doesn't look sick at all - and since all the other wounded Hilltoppers turned so quickly - here's hoping she doesn't commit preemptive suicide before they figure out that Dwight is still on their side.

Oh, and Henry did indeed fuck things up.  He unlocks the pen and goes in to start shooting Saviors, but then a zombie shows up and starts chewing on people, and the Savior prisoners break out of the pen.  Some of them leave Hilltop entirely, heading back to the Sanctuary.  A few others decide to stay and cast their lot with the good guys.  Which is good, I guess, because the good guy population just took a pretty big hit.  Hey! On the plus side, there are fewer mouths to feed now!

Previously on The Walking Dead / next time on The Walking Dead

The Walking Dead S8E12 "The Key" 3/18/18

Holy moly - here I am, back again.  I promise that it's not a mouse who cried wolf with respect to the cable cutting ... just not yet.  And another plus: this episode was only half bad (Rick and Negan, Daryl's neutering (metaphorically speaking) and the crappy writing for Michonne, Maggie et als).

As Negan smirks, Dwight frets and Simon looks disapproving, the Saviors goop up their weapons and prepare to attack the Hilltop.  Negan is holding firm to his plan to gross out/infect the Hilltoppers rather than just massacre them all.  A caravan heads out with the goopy weapons, Simon and Dwight driving one truck, and Negan pulling up the rear in a sedan, Lucille marinating in a bucket of walker guts on the seat beside him.  The whole gooping up scene is all sorts of gross.

The good guys all reconvene at the Hilltop.  Maggie, Enid and Michonne are a bit at odds with Enid  sad about Carl and being all, KILL THEM ALL, and Michonne sad about Carl and being all, THERE MUST BE SOMETHING MORE.  Boring.  The Hilltoppers know that the Saviors are coming to retaliate for the Sanctuary being shot up, so they set up a series of look-outs.  Daryl checks in with Rick before they head out and whereas Daryl used to be a rough, gruff, scruffy anti-hero type, now he's all, "Are you okay?" and "It's sad that some people are gone when others are here."  Look, I love me some Daryl but ugh.  Can he and Carol just go hang out and be badasses together?

After the look-outs are in place, Rick spies the goo-caravan en route.  He makes to contact the next look-out as planned and then stops cold because he recognizes that Negan is alone in the last car.  Instead of sticking with the plan, Rick jumps into his SUV and ambushes the Savior caravan, broadsiding Negan's car.  There's a bit of a car chase so as to separate Negan-and-Rick from the rest of the Saviors and then there's a car crash.  When Negan climbs out of his wrecked car, clutching Lucille, Rick shoots at him.  As has been said before, for someone who can put a walker down at 50 yards with a pistol, Rick is a crap shot with an actual semiautomatic rifle.  Negan flees into a warehouse.  And here is where I just began to fast-forward through all the Rick vs. Negan scenes.  They stalk each other, fall through rotting floors, dodge zombies and shout at each other about their various points of view.  They each take turns bludgeoning each other and zombies with Lucille, who at one point catches fire - and then the zombies catch fire, which is kind of cool.  In the end it is all for naught, though, as Negan gets away.

While all this is going on, Simon has halted the Savior caravan in the middle of town.  He instructs the rabble to stay put while he and Dwight go see if they can find Negan.  Simon has been testing the waters with Dwight a bit: he says that he's not convinced that Negan has it right, that the Hilltoppers (and Alexandrians and Kingdomites) have survived everything that has been thrown at them and have not gotten scared by the Saviors.  He seems to be trying to get Dwight to say something disloyal about Negan and Dwight is clearly unsure about where this is going.  They find Negan's burned out, shot up car and continue their conversation.  Simon is all, we need to just move on with [the Hilltoppers] and if Negan is out there dead, or not quite dead, then maybe they need to just move on without him.  He presses Dwight, asking if Dwight hasn't ever wanted to fight back against Negan.  Dwight's voice is saturated with sarcasm when he replies, "When he stole my wife and burned my face?  No, I never once wanted him dead."  Simon's like, well, let's see what we can do about that.  A sliver of hope crosses Dwight's ruined face.

While all this is going on, the sentries at the Hilltop notice a crate with a banner in the field outside the walls.  They all think this is weird but they bring it in to check it out: it's a message with coordinates, saying that if they bring the crate filled with food and/or records, they'll get "a key to [their] future." Since the Hilltoppers are on the verge of starving, Maggie thinks that they can't pass this up, even if it may be a trap.  She, Enid, Rosita and Michonne head out to the coordinates on the note.  There's a van waiting for them there and three women: Georgie, Hilda and Midge.  They seem a little odd but they are clean and well-fed.  Georgie sets forth her deal again: something valuable for food or music (no spoken word).  Michonne is inclined to take whatever she's offering but Maggie feels the need to stretch things out a little longer and instead they bring Georgie and her crew back to the Hilltop for further discussion.  After seeing the Hilltop, Georgie amends her deal: she has noticed that people are looking a little scrawny so in exchange for their record albums, she will give them two crates of food, plus this binder of plans for medieval-level technology like windmills, watermills, etc.  This gets through Maggie's hardened shell, because it was she who always saw the Hilltop's potential, she who wanted to grow things and build community.  She takes Georgie's deal with a small smile and Georgie promises that she will come back once they've started to rebuild, to see what they've done and see what else they can barter.

Simon and Dwight return to the Saviors, saying that they can't find Negan.  There is some worried muttering but Simon says that it's not a problem - they're all Negan and together they can continue, can move on.  And, as Dwight stares in disappointment and horror, by moving on, Simon means they are going to slaughter the fuck out of the Hilltop - they're going to kill them all, not just scare them like Negan wanted to do.  Simon is even scarier than that blowhard Negan, IMHO.

Speaking of that blowhard Negan, he is passed out in the front seat of a car.  When he wakes up, he - and we - sees that the car is being driven by Jadis and she's holding a gun to his temple.  "Well, shit," he grins.  Jadis snarls, "Shut up" and clocks him in the head with her gun.

Previously on The Walking Dead / next time on The Walking Dead

A couple of itty-bitty book reviews

Norse Mythology by Neil Gaiman.  I usually LOVE Neil Gaiman.  I love his world-building and the intelligence of the language he uses.  I also love mythology.  When I was a kid, I would take out all the mythology books in my grade school library; I especially liked Greek, Egyptian and Norse, reading the myths and stories over and over again.  Perhaps that's why I didn't love Gaiman's 2017 Norse Mythology: I already knew all the stories he told, so none of it was new.  I also didn't feel like his voice came through at all, which would have freshened the myths up a bit.  For people who don't know the old stories about Thor, Loki, Odin, Baldur, Freya and the rest, this is a nice, accessible introduction.  But for me, it was a bit of a waste of time.

Vampires in the Lemon Grove  by Karen Russell.  This one, a short story collection by the author of Swamplandia (which I know I've read but apparently didn't review here), was not a waste of time.  Each story is touched with a bit of fantasy - vampires, human silkworms, American presidents reincarnated as horses - and each is very different from the other.  Some agreed with me more than others but all were very original, building specific, interesting worlds in just a few pages.  Lots of fun, that one.

The Walking Dead S8E11 "Dead or Alive Or" 3/11/18

Once more into the breach.  This time, I really do think this is the last TWD recap.  Although I realize it's a boy-who-cried-wolf scenario at this point.  Because it's easier, I'm going to do a story-line grouping for the recap, like last time, even though this episode isn't structured that way. 

Daryl, Rosita, Tara and Dwight.  The Alexandrian escapees, led by Daryl, Tara and Rosita, make their way to the Hilltop, trying to stay off the roads so as to avoid Savior patrols.  Things are a little tense (moreso than usual) because both Daryl and Tara would rather kill Dwight outright, not trusting him for past offenses, but Daryl at least sees that he could be helpful - after they reach Hilltop, they'll evaluate.  Dwight, who has been protesting that he HATES Negan and can't go back to the Saviors, suggests that they cut through a nearby swamp since the Saviors avoid it, deeming it too dangerous.  While Daryl and Sandiq (?) clear out the numerous and squishy swamp zombies (kudos to the sound department for some horrific oozy noises there), Tara decides to take Dwight matters into her own hands.  She chases him through the woods at gun point and almost shoots him when a group of Saviors comes into view.  While she hides, Dwight sacrifices himself, so to speak, rejoining that Savior squad and leading them off, away from the hiding Alexandrians.  Tara is amazed that he would do that, especially since he's liable to be killed if any Saviors know of his betrayal back in that coordinated attack.  When she rejoins the rest of the Alexandrians, Daryl is pissed off that Dwight returned to the Saviors but Tara sticks up for Dwight.  They all make it to the Hilltop and share news of Carl's death; Enid is very, very sad.

At the Hilltop.  Maggie - who still doesn't look the slightest bit pregnant, wtf? - is very stressed because supplies are running low.  With the Hilltoppers already on short rations, she decides to stop feeding the Savior prisoners (and Gergory) entirely and denies the prisoners' requests for some exercise outside of the pen.  At the end of the episode, after the Alexandrian escapees have arrived, she relents.  Also, she is happy to learn that Sandiq (?) had some medical training before the zombie apocalypse happened, since doctors are in such short supply.

Negan and Eugene.  At the Sanctuary, Negan tells Eugene that he needs to start making bullets ASAP since they so depleted their supply clearing a pathway through the walker swarm an episode or two ago.  He sets Eugene and a small crew up at that machine shop.  Later, when Negan stops by to check on them, he is unimpressed with their progress.  Eugene tries to explain that it is a slow process and suggests that maybe in the meantime he could rig up some old school catapults and they could just chuck rotten zombie pieces over the Hilltop's walls, to traumatize and demoralize the denizens.  Negan's eyes light up and later he speechifies about how they're all going to coat their bullets and edged weapons with zombie guts: the plan is to wound the rebels, not kill them outright, so that Rick's people die slowly as walkers via infection instead.  I'm not sure that the science is right: people have been dousing themselves in zombie guts for camouflage purposes and no one has gotten infected from that.  Whatever.  I don't really care.

Carlson and Father Gabriel.  Father Gabriel and Dr. Carlson are the odd fellows, struggling to get back to the Hilltop after their Eugene-aided escape from the Sanctuary.  The car they took died and Gabriel's infection is affecting his eyesight.  Carlson is all doom and gloom and yet Gabriel continues to have a smile on his face and faith in his God to lead them where they need to go.  The doctor's skepticism takes a beating as (a) Gabriel hears wind chimes that lead them to a fairly well-stocked house with (b) antibiotics, which Carlson gives to the now nearly-blind Gabriel for the infection, (c) a map, showing them how to get to the Hilltop, (d) a gun with bullets and (e) keys to a jeep in the garage.  En route to the garage, Carlson steps into a beartrap that has been set to catch zombies.  His screams attract the attention of a few walkers.  As the wounded and snared Carlson struggles with a walker, Gabriel manages to find the gun and - nearly miraculously - shoots the attacking walker, saving Carlson's life.  The doctor is amazed; the priest merely believes his God is getting them through.  However, the gunshots have attracted the notice of a band of Saviors, who capture Carlson and Gabriel just as they try to drive off.  Gabriel is still calm and Carlson notices, then remarks that maybe God is indeed giving them opportunities - and he grabs a gun out of a Savior's holster.  But another Savior shoots the doctor dead - despite the group's leader bemoaning the fact that they were supposed to leave him alive, since doctors are so valuable.  They shove Carlson's body off the truck and drive off with Gabriel sitting in the bed, stricken and heartbreakingly wailing "NO!" to the heavens.  He is utterly devastated, seemingly betrayed by his God, and it is truly one of the saddest moments in this show's run, watching him lose his faith.

Previously on The Walking Dead / maybe next time on The Walking Dead

The Walking Dead S8E10 "The Lost and the Plunderers" 3/4/18

I'm back!  Mr. Mouse hasn't cancelled our cable yet so here's another TWD recap.  And the show structured things a little differently this time, sort of focusing on one character at a time and separating things into chapters, making it much easier to summarize.  Of course, no Carol or Daryl, so boo.

Michonne.  Michonne and Rick finish burying Carl and pack their things to leave Alexandria.  Random zombies wander through the village, coming in through the broken wall.  She looks a little stunned but still manages to take a bunch of them out as necessary.  On their way out of Alexandria, they see that a gazebo is on fire: apparently Carl used to sit on the gazebo's roof (?) so they are compelled to jump out and try to douse the flames.  They can't quite put it all out before the walkers move in and they are forced to get back in their van and drive off.  As they drive, Rick decides that they need to swing by the dump and try once again to enlist Jadis and her garbage people (or Scavengers, or whatever) to the cause.  He and Michonne enter the Scavengers' dump and manage to trip a trap that brings a bunch of junk down in front of the ingress/egress, effectively trapping them in the junkyard.  [For a chapter titled "Michonne," this segment was nearly as much about Rick as it was about her.  At least she had a decent role in Black Panther.]

Negan.  Back at the Sanctuary, Negan is experiencing some pushback from an antsy Simon.  Simon wants to full-on attack Rick and company and Negan has to remind him that people are resources.  He tells Simon that he is to go to the Scavengers and remind them of their deal with the Saviors.  "Deliver the standard message, take one out and the rest will fall in line.  Just one, Simon."  Simon presses his point, saying that the local communities are not falling in line as they should.  Negan snarls at him, "What we do, saving people, is hard.  But it damn well works."  Simon: "Not lately."  Negan says once they put Rick down, everything will be aces again.

Enid.  After killing the beach people's leader (Natanya), Enid and Aaron are brought into the village and shackled to a radiator.  It's up to Cindy, as Natanya's granddaughter, to decide what to do with them.  After a little while, Cindy et als come back, Enid's all, you shouldn't kill us because ultimately we're on your side even though we killed your leader and took all your guns.  Cindy decides to let them go, so they are walked out to a clearing a ways away and released, with a warning to never come back.  Aaron sends Enid back to Hilltop to tell Maggie what happened and where he is; he is going to stay and keep trying to convince the beach people to join up.  Because that seems likely.  Enid gives him a hug and walks off, back to their truck.  Aaron crouches down by a tree.  Whatever.  This was completely pointless.

Simon.  Simon grabs his crew and heads off to the landfill.  There's a bit of a standoff between Simon and Jadis, with their respective people gathering behind each of them, guns at the ready.  Simon - who seems rather crazier than Negan these days - demands an apology and all of the Scavengers' guns.  Jadis stands up to him as best she can but eventually, over the protests of her seconds-in-command, she capitulates, handing over all their guns.  When Simon reiterates his need for her apology, she punches him in the face.  He gets up and shoots two of her people, splattering her with their blood.  Then he signals his people and they mow down all of her now-defenseless people, taking care with body shots only, no head shots.  Jadis can only watch, shaken and upset.  When the Saviors return to the Sanctuary, Simon lies to Negan, saying that they did as instructed, collecting the weapons and leaving the Scavengers alive.  Liar!

Jadis.  Rick and Michonne are quickly surrounded by the now-zombified Scavengers.  They climb atop the piles of junk and find Jadis there.  She is barefoot, wearing only a white slip (did Simon take all her clothes?) and now speaking in full sentences, not the affected speech pattern we've heard until now.  She explains that the Saviors killed all her people, took away this new community she created after the zombie apocalypse.  Rick and Michonne don't have any time for her self pity, however.  They put together makeshift shields and make a run for it, slaughtering as many zombies as they can on their way out the way they came.  Jadis asks to come with them but Rick's all, [you're] no help to us anyway and they leave her behind.  After Rick and Michonne are gone, Jadis figures out how to save herself:  she positions herself on the far side of a trash shredder/compactor and as the former friends/now zombies approach, they fall into it and are chewed into bloody sludge.  It's a truly disgusting visual so kudos to the show for coming up with something new.  After the zombies are disposed off, she slurps down a can of applesauce (?) and ponders her options.

Rick.  En route to Hilltop, Michonne is looking through the letters Carl wrote.  She tells Rick that not only is there one for him, there's one for Negan.  Rick pulls over and grabs the letters, staggering out into a field.  He starts to open his letter, then instead reads the one to Negan.  He gets on a walkie-talkie (scavenged from a dead Savior before they left Alexandria) and demands to speak with Negan.  When Negan answers, Rick tells him that Carl is dead.  Negan seems genuinely sorry to hear this.  Rick then tells him that Carl wanted the two of them to stop fighting and work together but Rick ain't having none of that.  He's going to kill Negan.  And as Rick starts sounding crazier and more ragged, Negan can't help himself but preaching his own sermon: he's going to kill Rick and subsume all the outlying communities, taking them into the Saviors, etc., etc.  "You failed as a leader, Rick, and you failed as a father.  Just give up."  So much for Carl's hope for peace - I don't see it ever happening with these two dumbasses still in charge.

Previously on The Walking Dead / next time on The Walking Dead