Mini movie review: Kong: Skull Island

I'm not going to lie to you: 2017 has been a rough year.  I mean, I have had it exceedingly easy compared to most people.  But I have been anxious/unhappy/frustrated/sad/angry under our country's current administration.  I have needed to escape in pop culture that has no connection with current events, the more fantastical the better.  That's how I found myself watching Kong: Skull Island the other day. 

I liked Peter Jackson's King Kong film, finding myself appreciating and connecting with Andy Serkis's Kong.  This iteration does not have that personal connection: Kong disappears from the screen for long periods of time and when he is onscreen, he is all rampaging warrior.  His posture is strange: upright, like a human; but there is no personality peering out of those big brown eyes this time.  Still, K:SI is hugely entertaining.  And as has been said, sometimes you don't know you needed to see a gas-mask-wearing Tom Hiddleston slicing mutant pterodactyls with a samurai sword until you see a gas-mask-wearing Tom Hiddleston slicing mutant pterodactyls with a samurai sword.  Escape accomplished.

 

The Walking Dead S8E8 "How It's Gotta Be" 12/10/17

One of the problems with The Walking Dead is that there is no spatial sense or sense of time.  How far are Alexandria, the Hilltop, the Kingdom, the Sanctuary and Oceanside from one another?  In some episodes, it seems like just a few miles; in this episode, people seem to be driving for hours and hours and hours.  And how long has this all been taking, this carrying out of Rick's plan against Negan and its subsequent breakdown?  Days?  Hours?  Also, how long does it take to die of a zombie bite - one that doesn't rip your throat out but a flesh wound that merely introduces the virus into your bloodstream?  Asking for a friend.

Rick stares down into the Sanctuary, stunned by the epic falling apart of his plan.  At the first return of gunfire by the Saviors, Jadis and her garbage people cut and run and we never see them again for the rest of the episode.  So they were super-helpful.  Carol drives up, Jerry riding shotgun, and Rick dives into the car.  The three of them talk over each other, expositing that (a) the Saviors got out and (b) the Saviors are going to hit back with a vengeance so they need to warn the other communities ASAP.

This is interspersed with a flashback to Carl telling Rick that they need to stop fighting and start working on how everyone is going to live in the future, after this shit with Negan is over.

Back at Alexandria, WTF Daryl, you don't even stick around to see if your plan worked?  No, he didn't and he will be surprised to find out that no, it didn't, not really, since the Saviors got out.  In a house, a weirdly shaky Carl is writing what looks like goodbye notes - of course, if Negan has his way, there won't be anyone around to read them.  He has crap handwriting, btw.  That night, Michonne catches him dropping food down into the sewer; he's got Sadiq stashed there.  Then, they hear a pounding at the gate.  Michonne: "They got out!"  It's Negan, giving them three minutes before he huffs and puffs and blows their house down.

At the Kingdom, Ezekiel finally snaps out of his funk when the Saviors arrive and start throwing their weight around.  He hides, sneaking around, and setting off a big explosion.  The Saviors give chase, knowing that Negan wants his head on a pike.  In the confusion, some of the Kingdom people start to fight back, which is particularly notable since none of those left are fighters.  Carol directs the people on where to meet up outside and then she sees Ezekiel.  He has Shiva's old chain in his hands and he smiles at Carol as he closes and locks the gates, himself inside with the Saviors.  Carol's all, NO! And he tells her to save his people like she saved him.  Then the Saviors come up and knock him unconscious.  Luckily, Morgan is lurking there, outside the Kingdom's wall.

Out on the road, Maggie, Jesus and some Hilltop redshirts get ambushed.  Maggie: "They got out!"  One of the Hilltop redshirts gets shot and the Saviors throw their weight around, menacing and threatening.  The Hilltoppers are finally allowed to return home and toe the line.  When she gets back, Maggie calls one of the imprisoned Saviors out of the holding pen and, in front of a shocked Jesus, shoots him in the head.  She orders him tossed out of the Hilltop with a message: WE HAVE 38 MORE.  STAND DOWN.  "We aren't even but it's a start."  Then she starts planning for Hilltop to make the last stand against Negan.

In Alexandria, Carl has decided he is in charge and his plan is for everyone to run and hide in the sewers.  His goal is to save lives for what comes later.  Michonne protests that they can't just give their home up to Negan.  Carl's all, no - all we have to do is survive the night.  As Negan continues his countdown, Carl climbs up to the top of the wall and offers himself up: Kill me, if you have to punish someone, and leave everyone else alone.  Negan's all, that's tempting but it's much less fun when you volunteer.  So then Negan starts firing off grenades or RPGs or some such, exploding some of the houses.  Carl drops back down and as the Alexandrians start to scatter, they toss around smoke bombs so that soon the town's streets are full of smoke.  As Negan and his goons stroll through the town, Carl skulks around, unseen, heading for the sewers.

And on the back side of town, Daryl and some cohorts bust through the walls, with Dwight and some Saviors giving chase.  The Alexandrians get out far enough and then set up their own ambush: Daryl, Michonne, Tara and Rosita with big ol' guns.  There's a shootout, during which one of the Saviors realizes that Dwight betrayed them, then Daryl and his posse prevail, killing everyone but Dwight, who has gotten wounded.  It looks touch and go for a moment, whether Daryl et als. will let him live but in the end, they scoop him up and take him with them, sneaking back into Alexandria and into the sewers, as Carl planned (except for Michonne - she won't go down there).  Daryl does ask Dwight what happened, if what Daryl did allowed the Saviors to get out, but Dwight says that Eugene figured out how to get out.  Which begs the question: with all the recent focus on Eugene, why didn't we get to see this brilliant idea?

Back at the Sanctuary, Eugene's conscience gets the better of him.  He takes care of the guards (dosing them with laxative - heh) and gives Gabriel keys to a car just outside so the priest and the Hilltop doctor can get away.  Amazed, Gabriel asks him to come with them but weird ol' Eugene just leaves them to it.

When Rick finally makes it back to Alexandria - seriously, where the fuck has he been? how long does it take to drive from the Sanctuary? - he goes to his house and starts yelling for Carl and Judith like a fucking lunatic.  Negan is there, waiting for him, and the two of them have fisticuffs, Rick managing to dodge Lucille more often than not.  Eventually, Rick gets himself tossed out a window and just makes a run for it.

Michonne finds him, out there on the smoky streets, and leads him down into the sewers.  Everyone is there, sad and quiet, but safe for now.  Rick glares at Dwight and Sadiq, is relieved to see Judith.  He and Michonne go to Carl who for once is not wearing that STUPID FUCKING HAT.  And then Carl pulls up his shirt and shows them the walker bite on his stomach.  It's been there a while - hence the goodbye letters, hence the attempt to offer himself up to Negan since he's going to die anyway.  Michonne falls to her knees (and now I'm thinking that's why everyone else is so sad and quiet too) and Rick just stares at his son, stricken.

Previously on The Walking Dead / next time on The Walking Dead

Overdue notice

Oh yes, the latest recap of The Walking Dead is super-late.  I don't really have any excuses other than I just haven't been able to make myself do it yet.  WHY OH WHY IS IT AN EXTRA-LONG EPISODE?  There is absolutely no reason for it - they easily could have cut it down to a regular length episode (and still not much would have happened).  What could they have cut out?  All the "artsy" close-ups of people's faces.  Shots of characters grimly driving cars.  And Aaron/Enid's entire storyline. 

Here it is:  Aaron and Enid are going to Oceanside because Aaron thinks he can convince Oceanside to join the fight against Negan even though not so long ago, the Alexandrians raided their community and took ALL their guns and ammunition.  To sweeten the deal, Enid stops at a distillery - that somehow has not been entirely looted since the zombie apocalypse happened (which is bullshit, because no one is going to leave a distillery unplundered) - so they can load up a truck full of hooch.  They park outside Oceanside and that night, when Aaron confronts an Oceansider lurking nearby, Enid shoots her.  It turns out to be the community's matriarch so I'm pretty sure that's not going to help Aaron and Enid's bargaining position.  So what was the point?

Recap up tonight.  Promise.

The Walking Dead S8E7 "Time for After" 12/3/17

First of all, WTF kind of strategist is Rick if his plan hinges on the cooperation of Jadis's junkyard people?  He thinks he's just going to walk into the junkyard with no back-up and convince them - using his silver tongue or effervescent charm - to join with him against the Saviors?  How's that working out for you, Mr. Stuck-in-a-Box?  What happens to the rest of your people when the junkers kill you?  Did you plan for being stuck in a box?  Also, I am not a Eugene fan so this episode was excruciating.

Prologue - Rick is let out of the box for a few moments so Jadis can photograph him and some other junker dude can make a quick sketch.  Jadis tells him this is so she can sculpt him: "After."

Eugene - At the Sanctuary, Eugene is being all Eugene-ish.  He has a face-to-face with Dwight and instead of picking a side - joining Dwight to help take down the Saviors or ratting Dwight's betrayal out to Negan - he simply decides to keep his mouth shut as long as Dwight keeps his activities quiet and doesn't let any innocent workers get hurt.  He spends some time with a dying Father Gabriel (apparently gooping oneself up with zombie guts can led to some fucking nasty infections (which of course Negan has not caught)) and rebuffs Gabriel's pleas for aid in getting the doctor back to the Hilltop.  He misses a deadline negotiated with one of Negan's "wives" for fixing her boombox but manages to cadge the bottle of wine she promised in payment because he needs help sleeping.  He has a one-on-one with Negan, who blows all sort of smoke up his ass, making Eugene feel important.

Daryl and Tara, et als. - Daryl, Tara, Michonne and Rosita go over the plan: crash the garbage truck into the Sanctuary, busting a hole in the building so the walkers swarm in and take out as many Saviors as possible, with the hope that the workers won't get caught in the crossfire.  Morgan, who has been in a nearby building on sniper-duty, joins them.  Rosita and Michonne are all, why can't we stick to Rick's plan?  Daryl's like, well, we don't have the numbers to take out the Saviors now that the Kingdom has been wiped out.  Rosita and Michonne bow out, which begs the question why they even bothered leaving Alexandria in the first place.  Also, Daryl seems to have a bit of a death wish going on, saying that it doesn't matter if he survives this operation - he just wants it to work.

Eugene - While fixing the wife's boombox, Eugene gets an idea.  He fetches Sasha's iPod from the coffin (which is conveniently stashed in some storeroom nearby) and affixes it to a radio-controlled model airplane: the plan is to draw the swarm of walkers away from the Sanctuary by playing music, just like those Saviors were going to do with the speaker-truck last episode before Rosita and Michonne took them out.  Dwight finds him and warns him not to do it.  Eugene actually grows some balls turns the speaker on and launches the airplane.  Dwight considers shooting Eugene in the head and then settles for shooting the speaker-plane out of the sky before it can distract the walkers.

Daryl and Tara - Daryl and Tara, with Morgan providing coverage, put their plan into action: getting the garbage truck in close, then Daryl putting a cinder block on the accelerator and jumping out.  The truck crashes into the building and the walkers swarm in through the gap.  Inside, it's carnage.  Unprotected workers are easily taken down by the walkers; the Saviors wield their semiautomatic weapons but there are a lot of zombies and they have to retreat.

Eugene - Eugene FREAKS THE FUCK OUT, watching the walkers invade the formerly safe Sanctuary.  He runs to Gabriel's bedside and shouts at him that he won't help as all he can do is protect himself.  But he uses a LOT of words and it is super-annoying.  Then he goes to Negan, promising that he can make enough bullets to replace the ammo spent on the walkers so that Negan can go on the offensive against Rick's crew as soon as this shit is cleaned up.  He also alludes to another revelation, something big - but they are interrupted by Dwight and Negan's other lieutenants.  With Dwight in attendance, Eugene is not brave enough to rat him out to Negan, so he just says that he can get the intercoms working again and scurries away.  If someone can explain to me why it was necessary to devote a whole episode to this twit, that would be great.

Epilogue - Jadis lets Rick out of the box, putting him in the center of the junkyard arena in his boxers, hands tied.  One junker stands behind him, keeping him there, while another comes out with a walker.  These junkyard walker designs are pretty awesome, actually: this one has a half-helmet, protecting its skull but leaving its mouth free, and a long pole is attached to the back of the helmet, allowing the junker to control it and stay out of reach.  Rick manages to get free, downing the two junkers by gaining control of the walker.  He uses the pole to fight the men, eventually twisting the walker's head right off, which is fantastic.  Then Rick tackles Jadis, knocking her gun away and wrestling her to the ground, her panicked face just inches away from the walker's still-gnashing teeth.  Rick's all, I'm getting my clothes and my gun back now and leaving, and if you don't join up with me, my people will come back and murder you all.  For some reason, the junkers don't just shoot him where he stands.  Instead, Jadis gives up and agrees to join him.  There's some negotiation - each community will get a fourth of the Sanctuary's supplies - and Rick explains his grand plan: they will go to the Sanctuary, he will offer the Saviors amnesty and then, after they give up, he will kill Negan and everyone has a happy ending.

Except, of course, when Rick, Jadis and the junkers get to the Sanctuary, it is no longer surrounded by a herd of walkers because they are all inside the building, chewing on the living.  I assume Rick recognizes Daryl's garbage truck but he really looks more stunned than anything else.  I dunno: I think I'm with Daryl and Tara in that Rick's plan seemed pretty far from likely to succeed.

Previously on The Walking Dead / next time on The Walking Dead

In brief

It's supposed to be winter - I am supposed to be skiing right now - but the weather gods are not cooperating, keeping our skies clear and dry and mostly too warm for the resorts to make much man-made snow.  Our ski area is open, with just two trails available, so that's enough to get Mr. Mouse out of the house, at least for the mornings (if he doesn't ski, he gets fidgety).  I prefer a greater snow-to-rocks ratio in my skiing so I've opted out and opted for holding down the couch to watch some movies.  Here are some recent successes:

Josie and the Pussycats - Yes, I watched it.  And it is ridiculous in all the right ways (early 2000s fashion! A very young Rosario Dawson! Excellent soundtrack with "Josie's" vocals done by Kay Hanley of Letters to Cleo!), plus it is completely subversive/satirical with respect to all those manufactured pop acts from that time period with their sponsorships and product-placement.

Split - In which former golden boy M. Night Shayamalan puts together an excellent B movie about three girls who get kidnapped by a dude with multiple personalities (twenty-three total, we're told).  It is suspenseful and tense, with interesting cinematography, and James McAvoy is just outstanding as Kevin, the dissociative identity disorder guy.  We only get to see about eight of the alters onscreen but McAvoy plays each one as a separate character and it's fantastic.

Krampus -  'Tis the season!  I think I was hoping for more scares from this admittedly PG-13 flick but the movie has a strong cast (Adam Scott, Toni Collette, Allison Tolman, David Koechner, Conchata Ferrell) and visually it looks great, with some wonderfully twisted takes on holiday classics.  Krampus is an actual folkloric baddie, the yin to St. Nicholas's yang, doling out punishment to naughty children.