Godric wastes no time snapping Gabe’s neck, then looks over at Sookie, telling her that she should not have come to this place. Then Eric shows up, late to the party but thrilled and cowed in the presence of his maker. Suddenly, lights start flashing and a siren blares: Godric tells Eric to take Sookie and get out of the church. Eric doesn’t want to leave without him but Godric snarls that he can take care of himself and instructs Eric to shed no blood on his way out. Eric grabs Sookie’s hand and drags her upstairs.
Out in the woods, Jason picks himself up off the ground: Sarah shot him with a paintball gun. She starts screaming him, saying that she gave him everything for a lie: “You’re worse than Judas?” “Why?” asks Jason, “What did he do to you?” Oh dear lord, he’s serious. Frustrated with the lack of higher brain function, Sarah shoots him in the crotch with a paintball. Heh. Finally she tells him that the Church has captured his sister: “You Stackhouses are nothin’ but a bunch of lying, two-faced vampire-fuckers.” Jason, as we know, does not take kindly to people talking smack about his sister. He grabs the gun out of Sarah’s hand, knocking her to the ground in the process, then drives off in the truck, calling out, “If any of you people have hurt [Sookie] I’m comin’ back and it won’t be with no fuckin’ paint gun!”
Back at the Church, the congregation is being evacuated from the building while the Soldiers of the Sun hand out stakes and silver chains. Sookie notes that Eric is following Godric’s orders and realizes that Godric must be Eric’s maker. Eric: “Don’t use words you don’t understand.” Sookie: “You have a lot of love for him.” Eric: “Don’t use words I don’t understand.” Aw. When the Church doors are closed, Eric decides to try some subterfuge, walking boldly out to a group of churchgoers. He uses a silly accent to try to gain their trust, and then tries to glamour them into letting him out of the building. It doesn’t quite work, so after he knocks them all unconscious, he and Sookie try to get out through the sanctuary. That’s no good, however, because Reverend Steve and a whole bunch of soldiers soon surround them. Trying to keep the bloodshed to a minimum, Eric gives himself up to them.
At the hotel, Lorena has Barry the psychic bellhop pinned up against the door. He begs to be let go – Bill grumps that she should let him go, but doesn’t lift a finger to actually help him – but Lorena wants a bite first. After a couple of sucks, she pulls back, wondering, “What are you? I’ve never tasted anything like you!” And then Bill hits her on the head with a giant plasma TV. Awesome. She goes down hard and Bill grabs Barry. They burst into Jessica’s bedroom, interrupting Jessica and Hoyt’s coitus just as the I’m-a-virgin pain is subsiding for the girl. She shrieks and Hoyt jumps out of bed; Bill can’t look either of them in the face. He growls that if Hoyt really cares for Jessica, he’ll drive her back to Bon Temps right now. Hoyt: “Now?”
Speaking of Bon Temps, Lafayette is doing a Tarot reading for Tara after they’ve closed the bar. He tells her that “in matters of the heart, [she’ll] have to make a choice, a sacrifice.” The next card is Justice – and just then Eggs bursts in, all freaked out after having lost the last few hours – you know, when he was killing Daphne for Maryann. Tara takes him home. Lafayette watches them go with a concerned look on his face.
Jason pulls up to the Church where some parishioners are standing guard. They offer him some guff until he says that he’s a cadet with the Light of Day Sun Soldiers and points to his honesty ring. Burly silver-chain wearing parishioner: “Dude! Honesty!” and they bump rings. Heh. Once inside the church, Jason knocks the other guy on the head with his paintball pistol and sneaks into the sanctuary.
On-the-lam Sam, sleeping in his truck, is wakened by his ringing cell phone: it’s a hang-up from Merlotte’s. So, Sam, being cute but not all that bright, drives over to his bar which is dark and closed. Except for the walk-in cooler: the door is open, the light is on, and Daphne is in there, dead and with her heart ripped out. Sam starts to wrap her in some big black garbage bags but he’s interrupted by Sheriff Bud knocking on his door before he can ditch the body.
Where’s Daphne’s heart, you ask? Maryann is flambéing it with vegetables. The heart is exceedingly bloody as she chops it up. Ick.
Now Reverend Steve has Eric down on a table, smoking and burning from the slver chains draped over him. Steve is just considering perhaps tying Sookie to Eric for the sun ceremony - so they’ll both burn together - when Bill bursts in, fangs blazing. Steve aims a gun at Sookie’s head, warning Bill to keep back; Bill tells him that if anything happens to her, everyone in this church will die. Steve rolls his eyes, looking at Sookie: “Honestly, what do they see in you?” Heh. Things are starting to get tense and then it’s Jason to the rescue: he nails Steve with paintballs, first in the hand so he drops the pistol and then in the forehead. Steve squeals and falls to the floor. Hee hee hee!
Sookie takes the chains off Eric. The church folk grab Jason. Eric grabs Steve. Bill grabs Sookie. And then – oh dear – Stan and a bunch of leather-wearing vampires stride on in, Stan grandstanding about how he’s had enough of Steve’s bullshit and now it’s time to kill him just like he killed his family. Steve starts raving and the vampires spread out, muckling onto whatever human they can find. Bill tries to get Sookie to come away before the bloodbath starts, but a quiet voice rings out from the balcony: it’s Godric – wearing white and backlit so as to look like a Christ-figure - and he tells the Texas vampires to stand down. He does not wish any bloodshed and asks Steve if he will agree to a truce if they walk out now.
Steve is not interested in truces and pulls open his collar, telling Eric to kill him now, as Jesus will save him. In a dry voice, Godric says, “I’m actually older than your Jesus. I wish I could have known him, but I missed it.” Heh. Godric comes down and grabs Steve by the neck. There is a lot of neck-grabbing in this episode. He asks the parishioners if any of them is willing to die for “this man’s madness.” None are and they disperse. Stan thinks that letting them go is a bad idea but Godric shuts him up with one look.
As Bill, Sookie and Jason make to leave, Steve can’t resist shouting out that come the day of reckoning, they’ll learn who’s going to heaven and who gets hell. With an adorable grin, Jason gets in his face and says, “I reckon I already been to Heaven. It was inside your wife.” Steve thinks for a minute, and then gets it, and then Jason punches him right in the nose.
At the bar, Bud and Kenya are interrogating Sam about Daphne’s body – an anonymous tip told them about it. They’re not willing to cut him any slack, seeing how he doesn’t have any records or history, and he never really explained the rampant nudity last season. Then Andy comes in and tells the law that Sam didn’t kill Daphne: that a bull with claws almost killed Sam at an orgy last night, and the “vic” was one of the people who were helping the bull. Everyone looks at Andy and he realizes how completely crazy he sounds.
Tara and Eggs resolve to not party so much anymore what with all the blacking out these days. Maryann acts supportive, but then invites them to the table for snacks: “hunter’s soufflé,” she calls it. When Tara slices into it, blood oozes out. Apparently it is quite delicious, Daphne’s heart in puff pastry, because Tara and Eggs snarf it down with soup spoons, groaning with pleasure. Maryann just sits there and watches, smirking.
Sometime later, Godric holds court at his home. He tells Jason that he is appreciative of his help tonight; but later, Eric tells Jason that he knows that he used to buy and use V and despite the recent heroics, he won’t be doing that again, now will he? Um, no, quavers Jason. On the other side of the party, Sookie wants to know WTF was going on that Bill didn’t come immediately to her rescue (apparently two days passed with her stuck in the church basement with Hugo). He stalls, saying he was detained, but won’t tell her by whom.
Jessica and Hoyt have made it back to Bill’s house and she is so revved up that she insists on them doing it right there on the living room couch. Only it hurts her when he enters her and she pushes him away, upset. And then she realizes that because of her vampire healing abilities, her hymen has healed – as it will every time. In tears, she tells him, “I’m going to be a virgin forever.”
Bill takes Eric to one side and tells him to back off Sookie – calling in Lorena was a low trick, even for him. Eric smirks, asking if Bill is daring to pick a fight. Bill smiles back coolly and tells him that he will never have Sookie. Meanwhile, Isabel has brought the traitor Hugo to Godric. As everyone watches, amazed, Godric shows mercy and tells Hugo to get out of Dallas, and never come back as it is no longer safe for him here. Hugo skedaddles. Sookie wants to continue her conversation with Bill, but this time Jason wants to have a word with “Mr. Compton.” They go out back and Jason apologizes for not being nice to Bill before – he knows now how good Bill is for Sookie. Then – hilariously – he hugs Bill. The words “uncomfortable” and “awkward” do not come close to describing Bill’s expression. Awesome.
Sheriff Bud has locked Sam in the jail. The next cell is full of townsfolk, all of whom have been arrested for things like losing their pants or sodomizing a pine tree. “What would you want to do that for?” marvels Sam.
Eric sits down with Godric and asks him why he refused to leave when he found him at the church. Godric tells him that he was not being treated badly. He is troubled by the fact that in thousands of years, vampires have not evolved at all: they remain terrifying, brutal and predatory. Even though Godric could have killed all the church folks when they took him, he didn’t see the point of it. It is because of the frightening nature of vampires that the church arose in the first place. Nonplused, Eric just stares at his maker.
Tara and Eggs have managed to eat the whole damn soufflé and are totally high off it. Maryann sips a glass of red wine and watches things escalate. They start to make out, then, giggling, Tara slaps Eggs across the face. He laughs and asks for more, so she slaps him again, then punches him, then kicks him in the nuts. Still laughing, his eyes are zombie-black when he regains his feet and backhands her across the room. Now she is giggling hysterically, eyes zombified, and he hits her a couple more times before she advances on him: “Fucker, I want you so bad right now!” They fall to the floor, tearing at each other’s clothes, and Maryann just grins and sips her wine. Twisted.
Outside At Godric’s house, a man gets out of a car and walks towards the front door.
Inside, Lorena, dressed in a red cocktail gown and a ridiculous 1980s updo, slinks in and finds Sookie at the buffet. She does all she can to push Sookie’s buttons about her connection with Bill and her insinuations about their recent nights together, but Sookie actually holds her own pretty well. She gets right in the vampire’s face: “Bill chose me, and yet you still won’t give up. Don’t you have any shame? … [G]o find someone else, you fucking bitch, you’ve lost this one!” Wild, Lorena grabs Sookie and is about to tear her throat out when suddenly Godric is there, grabbing her by the neck. He doesn’t know who she is and, more importantly, doesn’t care. He kicks her out of his house, telling her to be out of his area before dawn.
The unknown man has entered Godric’s home. It’s Luke, wearing a bulky jacket. Jason goes up to talk to him and Luke pushes him away, telling him to get out of here. Then Luke calls for the crowd’s attention. As all the vampires and humans turn to him, he opens his coat to reveal a bunch of plastic explosive strapped there, with silver chains interwoven through the explosives. Everyone stares. Luke hits the detonator.
Previously on True Blood / next time on True Blood
13 hours ago