Bill drives the girls back to Bon Temps, very fast, very angry. He pulls over so he and Sookie can scream at each other while Jessica sobs and shrieks in the backseat. Finally, Sookie has had enough of Bill’s condescension and gets out of the car, stomping off into the darkness. Jessica points out that Bill should go after her and kiss her and tell her he loves her; Bill insists that Sookie will come back when she calms down.
As Sookie continues down the dark, forested road, she senses something behind her in the darkness. There’s something there all right: a Minotaur with huge, three-fingered hands tipped with nasty claws. The Minotaur gives chase, catches up with her and slashes at her, tearing deep and awful gashes in Sookie’s back. Sookie screams and collapses, hard.
Back at the car, Bill hears her and comes after her with all his preternatural speed. She can hardly speak, choking out what she saw: “Bull … man.” She gasps that she can’t move so Bill bites into his forearm to feed her his healing blood. She gulps at it then gags, foam billowing out of her mouth. “Gross!” exclaims Jessica. Bill scoops the convulsing Sookie into his arms, ordering Jessica to go get the car. They drive to Fangtasia where Bill takes his lover inside and sends his pouting daughter home.
Things are not going well at Merlotte’s. Sam is brooding over Marianne and when the new waitress Daphne comes in to tell him that her checks are $64 short, he snaps at her, telling her that she’ll have to pay him back. Tearfully, she throws all her tips at him and runs out. Tara saunters in, noting that Daphne will never improve without some positive reinforcement. Sam snipes that Marianne must have told her that. Tara wants to know WTF is his problem with Marianne: “You don’t even know this person!” “Neither do you!” shouts Sam and stomps out.
A tiny, crotchety little doctor is tending to Sookie’s wounds. They are deep and really awful looking, and infected with some sort of bacterial toxin. Bill is agitated, frightened that Sookie might die. The little doctor sends him and Eric out of the room so she can work. – which work includes digging into the wounds. It’s really, really nasty and Sookie screams a lot. While the vampires are waiting for the doctor to finish up, Eric notes that in 1,000 years he thought he’d seen everything, but he’s never heard of a poisonous man-bull who is so toxic that vampire blood can’t cure it. He sends Pam and Chow (?) out to investigate, over Pam’s protestations that she’s wearing really cute shoes tonight. Eric rolls his eyes. I think I like Eric. When the doctor has finished her work, Bill gives Sookie his blood again. She slurps greedily which is pretty nasty too.
At church camp, Jason is having nightmares whereby Eddie the Vampire (played by Stephen Root - I totally couldn’t remember either the actor’s or the character’s name) is in bed with him, nekkid and gnawing on his neck. Once awake, Jason tries to pray but can’t help dropping an f-bomb in there, so an annoyed Luke pegs him with a pillow and tells him to shut up.
When morning is about to dawn at Fangtasia, Eric offers Bill a guest coffin and they leave Sookie to rest where she is. Bill thanks the sheriff for his assistance and Eric smirks, saying he’s sure he can come up with some way for Sookie to repay him. Bill glowers impotently.
Tara joins Marianne in the kitchen for a cup of coffee. Karl is cooking up a storm in anticipation of a big party the boss lady is throwing this evening. The two women chat, Marianne rolling one of the biggest joints known to man while she continues to build Tara’s self esteem. She hands Tara the doobie and holds out a light. Tara grins and fires up: “Aw, fuck it. I don’t have to be at work ‘til 4.”
Over at Sam’s, he’s loading up his truck: he thinks he might have to leave town, at least for a while. Terry drives up and Sam asks him if he’ll run the bar for him ‘til he gets back. The thought of all that responsibility makes poor, shell-shocked Terry nervous and he says he wouldn’t be his first choice for the job. Oh, you’re not, replies Sam, and hilariously runs down all the other people he wanted before settling on Terry: Sookie, Lafayette, Arlene, Tara … “You’re all I got.” Terry sighs, realizing he’s got no choice. Then, thinking about it a moment, he notes that Sam’s just going to cut and run from whatever is bothering him: “I wouldn’t want to be in a foxhole with you. Coward!” It’s Sam’s turn to sigh now.
Church camp, group session. Sarah Newlin has a bunch of campers sitting in a circle, telling their vampire-centric sob stories. When she calls on Jason, he demurs at first, then confesses that he doesn’t really have a problem with vampires, seeing how his sister is dating one and he treats her real good – except for the biting, but he thinks she likes that. Sarah tries to point out that vampires are evil because they aren’t human but in a moment of clarity, Jason says that his best friend - a human - killed a whole bunch of people, including his gran and his girlfriend, because he had issues with vampires, so the good/evil line is a little blurry there. He gets frustrated and walks out. Sarah chases after him and tells him that he’s special, that God sent him here to her. She asks him to pray with her and they kneel together. As she takes his hands and bows her head, Jason gazes at her, a little flicker of lust firing up in his eyes. Sarah’s a pretty hot little preacher’s piece.
Sookie finally wakes up, feeling much better. Fangtasia’s white trash bartender Ginger is there, offering a peanut butter and chocolate syrup sandwich that she made just for Sookie. Ginger is nervous, however, and quickly lets slip – as Sookie reads her mind – that Lafayette is chained up in the basement. Next, Sookie reads Ginger’s mind about the gun under the cash register. She gets to it first and forces Ginger to take her to Lafayette. She can’t unlock him – Ginger doesn’t have that key – but she swears to him that she will absolutely get him out of this dungeon.
Marianne’s party is underway. Blah blah blah Tara and Eggs – I find Eggs boring. Nice to look at, but boring. Tara, deep into a glass of wine and rocking a 1970s updo and cocktail gown, realizes that she was supposed to be at work 45 minutes ago … but she’s way too trashed to deal with Sam and decides to blow it off.
Once the sun goes down, Bill comes immediately to Sookie, thrilled to see her looking so well. She asks if he knew about Lafayette in the basement, which he didn’t. Eric saunters up and Sookie gets up in his business right away, telling him he ought to be ashamed of himself for treating Lafayette that way and punctuating her tirade with a slap across Eric’s face. Bill, horrified: “Sookie!” Eric, wryly: “I’m glad to see you’re feeling better.” He and Sookie strike a deal: she will go to Dallas to help find Godric and Eric will release Lafayette, pay her $10,000 and allow Bill to come to Dallas with her. I get the feeling that Eric finds her quite amusing, otherwise he wouldn’t put up with her at all. Best lines: After Sookie snits that she can’t stand him, Eric smarms that perhaps he’ll grow on her. Sookie: “I prefer cancer.” Bill: *smirk*
Jessica gets up out of her coffin for the night and is both saddened and put out that she is all alone. So she gets all dolled up and takes herself to Merlotte’s. As she walks down the length of the bar, she is pleased by the lustful stares directed her way. But it is good ol’ Hoyt who is brave enough to approach her. At first she can’t keep her eyes off a vein pulsing in his neck but he is sweet and direct, and she is quickly charmed. When he asks if he can buy her a drink, she takes a deep breath and tells him that she’ll take a bottle of True Blood, B positive. Instead of being horrified by her vampire-osity, Hoyt’s like, “For real? Wow. Awesome!” They’re actually perfect for each other: he’s an unsophisticated good ol’ boy and she’s a newly-vamped home-schooler who’s probably never been on a date.
By now, Marianne’s party is raging: Karl serving some suspect broth or potion to the attendees; music blaring; girls whipping off their tops. Andy Bellfleur drops by to tell Marianne to keep the noise down and catches a glimpse of that giant pig in the backyard. When he asks Marianne about it, she’s all, “What pig?” and when he looks again, the pig has disappeared. She giggles and hands Andy a glass of champagne, inviting him to join the party. “Well,” he grumps, “just one – I am on the clock.”
Church camp. Blah blah blah – The Newlins have invited Jason over for dinner. While Sarah gets supper ready, Reverend Steve is ranting against vampires. Jason is dim as usual (Steve: “It’s a war out there …” and Jason looks out the window. Steve: “Not right there, Jason, but in the world.”) but attentive, just what Reverend Steve is looking for, I suspect.
Jessica brings Hoyt back to Bill’s house. He notices that they have a Wii (rather incongruous in Bill’s decaying mansion) and offers to show her how to play it. Jessica has other ideas, however, and plants a smooch on him. He responds happily, moving to kiss her neck. And then her fangs pop out, to her horror and dismay: “I’d die of embarrassment if I wasn’t already dead.” But Hoyt is sweet and gentle with her, saying that he doesn’t mind – it’s natural and she shouldn’t be embarrassed about what she is because she’s great. He says he likes her, a lot, and that’s why he thinks they should wait before going any further. She turns to him, moaning, “I’ve waited too long already” and pounces on him with a growl.
Bill and Sookie drop Lafayette back at his apartment. He’s in rough shape but refuses to go to a hospital – too difficult to explain his injuries. Lafayette staggers into his home and collapses on the couch. He looks around himself, pulls a homemade afghan over him and sags down, crying.
Tara and Eggs are macking in the hot tub when they a topless hussy interrupts, wanting to give them – both of them – backrubs. This does not please Tara, nor is she pleased when she looks around at the other partygoers and sees a big ol’ orgy going on, with Marianne laughing in the middle of it. She jumps up out of the hot tub and goes up to her room, not seeing the black eyes of the ecstatic Maenads around her.
When they get back to Bill’s house, Sookie teases Bill about all the girlie pink clothes he’s bought for his daughter. He admits to preferring it when women are a little covered up: petticoats left something to the imagination, plus required a little skill to remove. Sookie grins and tells him that there’s a Halloween shop in town that might have some petticoats for rent. They walk into the house smooching and thus it takes a moment for Bill to notice his protégé hunkered down over a body on the couch. He rushes over and throws Jessica across the room. “I wasn’t gonna bite him, I swear!” she protests as a shirtless and unharmed Hoyt tries to stand up. Bill shoves him back down onto the couch and snarls at him.
Sam has just about finished loading his truck when that cute collie shows up and barks at him. Sam pulls off his shirt – thank you! – and they run off into the woods for one last romp. When the two dogs get to a pond, one jumps off the dock, transforming into Sam as he hits the water. The other dog runs off … and then mere seconds later, waitress Daphne strolls out onto the dock. Wait a minute. She’s not that collie-dog, is she? (IF she is, why has she got clothes on?) She and Sam flirt, just a little, and Daphne notes that the water looks nice and cool. When she strips down to jump in, the camera shoots her from behind: there are HUGE ugly scars all down her back. Looks like a werewolf to me.
Previously on True Blood / next time on True Blood
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