Sam promises Luna that he'll help the police track down the redneck assholes who are hunting supernaturals. After he leaves, however, she gets really, really wound up and ends up inadvertently skinwalking, turning into Sam. Because the last time a shifter skinwalked (Whatsisname, Sam's little brother) that turned out so well. Luna/Sam catches one look at her new face in the mirror and passes out. Then Sam Trammel gets to do a nice little bit of physical acting when he, as Luna/Sam, walks down the hospital corridor, hips swaying, and snapping at the deputy on guard outside of Luna's room to mind his own damn business.
In New Orleans, the Lilith-loving Chancellor group returns to Authority HQ to come down off their trip. Bill's all ecstatic about having been in the presence of God; Eric is more grounded, growling that they're all "high as fucking kites." Nora and Salome decide that their path is sanctioned by God and they should move forward with their plan. Eric is less giddy and excuses himself for the evening, slightly surprised when Bill doesn't accompany him. Instead, Bill goes to Salome's chambers where she has a woman tied to her bed. Salome orders him to feed off the human blah blah blah boring and pointless flashback to Bill's past where one of his human children lies dying of consumption or something, although she doesn't look all that sick, and she begs him to save her [turn her into a vampire] and he refuses blah blah blah. Salome bullies him into it and he drains the woman.
Slight interlude of naked werewolf sex.
Back in Bon Temps, Jason finds Sookie trying to blast out all her fairy light. He stops her, convincing her that she should use her magic to find out what really happened to their parents. They go back to the hidden fairy nightclub to ask for the fairies' help. They all go to the bridge where the Stackhouse siblings' parents were killed. Fairy magic holding hands later, Sookie is able to tap into the energy of the place to see the events through her mother's eyes. It was a dark and stormy night. No, really, it was. A big nasty vampire stops their car and drags the father out, killing him. Then, weirdly, Sookie's POV switches from her mother to the vampire and she sees him killing her, pawing through the backseat and then getting attacked by a fairy. Back in the real world, Sookie gets knocked off her feet with the force of the memory. She does come away with the vampire's name, however: Warlow.
Jessica is hanging out at Fangtasia by herself when a short, spiky-haired fangbanger hits on her. She thinks about it for a moment, and then walks off with him in tow. Meanwhile, Hoyt and his new redneck friends bring him out to a hovel to give him a surprise: it's Jessica, draped in silver chains and sobbing. The rednecks say that they got her for Hoyt so he can kill her himself. Then they lock Hoyt and Jessica in a room together, saying that they won't let him out until he finishes her. It looks kind of touch and go for a while, Hoyt with a gun loaded with silver and wooden bullets, raging at Jessica for breaking his heart and fucking his best friend. She cries quietly, saying that she did love him for a while and she would do anything to bring it back. The camera switches to outside the room and a redneck watching t.v. When he hears a gunshot, he happily bursts into Hoyt's room and Jessica, who had been hiding behind the door, steps out and snaps his neck. Since it's morning, she can't leave the house so Hoyt says he'll go and send help. Jessica thanks him and poor Hoyt, heart still breaking, just says, "Fuck you, Jess." Jess is sad.
Over at the sheriff's, Andy and Sam aren't getting very far with the redneck they brought in. Sam suggests that Andy leave him alone for a while with the redneck and after the redneck goes, Sam slips out of his clothes and shifts into a cobra. This has the redneck's attention and he tells them about kidnapping Jessica to make Hoyt kill her. Just then, Luna/Sam sashays into the station. As Andy rolls his eyes, muttering that he hates this goddamn town, Sam and Luna/Sam reunite, Luna/Sam freaking out that she can't shift back. They all go out and find Jessica, but no one has found Hoyt so that is of concern.
Now, here's the best scene in the episode: Arlene and Holly are waiting for Lafayette at his house when he gets back from Mexico. They want him to help them with Terry. Lafayette: "I'm not in the helping bidness anymore. I'm in the fuck off because I'm about to smoke a blunt bidness and bidness is about to pick way the fuck up." They ask him to at least pretend to speak to the spirit haunting Terry, to hopefully convince Terry that the curse on him has been lifted. Lafayette finally acquiesces but says he's charging them $300. "I'm about to slip my ass in this tub and get high as a motherfucker. Y'all enjoy your day."
Eric finds Nora and tries to convince her that this whole Lilith thing is bullshit. He tells her that he saw Godric tonight and their sire was sickened by what has happened to her. But she's all, in his final days Godric was weak, a blasphemer who had lost his way. Eric is furious at her disrespect.
Luna/Sam is suffering quite a lot and Sam takes care of her, telling her that she's going to be okay. They make up and then Luna finally shifts back to her own body writhing in pain.
In the who-fucking-cares department, it's time for the JD vs Alcide smackdown for pack-leader. In a novel twist, JD decides that they'll be hunting an actual human and whoever kills the kid first wins. Alcide is all, I'm not killing humans and JD declares a forfeit. Alcide gets up in JD's face and then they fight, but even though Alcide is way bigger than JD, the older wolf is hopped up on V and beats the shit out of him. Martha finally steps in and stops JD from killing the unconscious Alcide.
Back at Fangtasia, Tara is tending bar when a bitchy, big-haired mean girl from Tara's high school class comes in and is truly awful to her. Pam watches for a while and then steps in before things come to bloody violence, humiliating Tara in front of this horrible person. However, later, Pam tells Tara that they need to talk about her attitude. They go down to the torture basement where Pam has got that mean girl chained up as a present for Tara. Tara is confused: "But I thought you were mad." Pam: "You don't know me that well. My mad face and my happy face are the same." Pam then glamours the mean girl until she worships Tara and begs for her to feed off of her. Tara chows down as Pam looks on approvingly.
Arlene manages to get Terry and Patrick in the same room with Lafayette and Holly. They begin the seance, Lafayette at first pretending to talk to the Iraqi woman's spirit. But then the spirit shows up: she's pissed and she doesn't want to forgive the men. The spirit says that she will lift the curse only when one of Terry and Patrick is dead. Patrick stands up and bolts.
Hoyt gets picked up by someone he knows in a pickup truck, someone who points a pistol at him. Sookie has a vision of Warlow, leaning forward and growling that he's coming for her. And at the Authority HQ, they brainstorm, trying to figure out how to bring down the mainstreamers. It is Bill who has the brilliant idea of bombing the Tru Blood factories (there are only five of them), thus forcing the mainstreamers to feed on humans, as they were meant to do. As the rest of the chancellors giggle and exclaim over this idea, Eric leans in and asks Bill WTF he's doing. Bill: "Evolving."
Previously on True Blood / next time on True Blood
51 minutes ago