Thursday, September 4, 2014

True Blood episode recap S5E10 "Gone, Gone, Gone"

All fi  ve of the TruBlood plants are destroyed and vampire/human relations are deteriorating.  The former Reverend Steve Newlin, in his new role as PR guy for the Authority, encourages humans to go about their daily business with nothing to fear from vampires.  Yeah, right.  Meanwhile, back in Bon Temps, Sookie calmly uses a wooden chopstick to stake Mike the pathologist when he starts chewing on her thigh, recently having been turned into a vampire and all.  "Fuck!" exclaims Sookie, festooned with gooey Mike-vampire guts.

In New Orleans, Molly/Vampire Mac/Tina Majorino gets iStaked, after first saying: "You people are destroying the world, based on the writings of a book that is thousands of years old.  You call that evolved?  That's the opposite of evolved!"  More gooey vampire guts (which Steve Newlin gets all excited about, having never seen a staking before).  Oh Molly, we didn't get enough of you.  Afterwards, Russell wants to go out and eat - he thinks Greek sounds good.

Hoyt tells his momma that he's taken a job oil-drilling in Alaska.  She is of course very upset about that, having assumed he'd be moving back in with her.  But he has had enough of Bon Temps.  In other unhappy news, the new sheriff is not impressed with the money Fangtasia is bringing in these days.   Pam and Tara are like, no one is coming in anymore.  He doesn't care.  Also, he lets them know that there is a new procreation mandate for the district: thirty new baby vamps in the next year.  And if Pam doesn't come through, he is authorized to take her assets, including her progeny.  Later, Pam and Tara talk, Pam snarling that vampires procreate because they want to, not because they're told to "by some dipshit dipped in afterbirth."  Tara's like, you'll let him take the bar, me?  Pam snaps that the two of them can leave Fangtasia and just wander, like she and Eric used to do.

Bill and Nora force Eric to take more of Lilith's blood.  He has a vision in which Godric appears to him, only to get his throat ripped open and decapitated by Lilith.  Bill watches from the control room, not seeing anything but smiling at Eric's reactions.  Out on their date, as they dance to Katy Perry's Teenage Dream, Russell tells Steve about being able to walk in the sunlight.  Enraptured and in love, Steve whispers, "Take me with you!"

Hoyt calls Jason and Jessica to meet with him at Merlotte's.  In a nice little scene, he tells them that he's leaving town because their betrayal is just too much, and his momma is smothering him, and he almost just got eaten by pigs.  They try to talk him out of it but he's made up his mind.  And he asks Jessica to glamour him, to make him forget about all about her and forget all about Jason too.  "Please, take this hurt away from me so I can go on and have my life.  Please.  Make this go away."  With tears in her eyes, barely able to speak, Jessica does what he asks, Jason sitting stunned at her side.  It's a really nicely done scene by all three, but especially Jess.

In the morning, Jason and Sookie, still following up on ghost Gran's message that the answer to who killed their parents is under Sookie's bed, push the bed aside and pull up a loose floorboard.  There's a dusty old scroll in a box.  They can't read it, however, so they take it to some university professor.  He says the scroll is at least 200 years old but it is not written in any human language he has ever seen.  The Stackhouses' ears perk up at the whole not-human possibility.

Meanwhile, Sam and Luna are continuing to try to get Emma back from Steve Newlin.  Luna's hair-trigger temper is really fucking annoying.  They learn that Steve will be doing a live televised debate in New Orleans that night, so off to New Orleans they go.  (Also off to New Orleans: Jessica, who has been fetched by Bill's Authority security team.)  On the debate, Steve is killing it, without having to rip anyone's spine out.  Sam and Luna make it into the green room and shift into little white mice, hiding in Steve's briefcase, hoping that he'll go to wherever he's stashed Emma.

I'm just realizing that this must be the season where Anna Paquin was pregnant.  She hasn't gotten naked and she tends to carry around big bags and sits with pillows on her lap.

In the Authority HQ, a seemingly tamed Eric apologizes to the rest of the chancellors and also to Russell, kneeling before him and forgiving him for having killed his Viking family so many thousands of years ago.  Russell begrudgingly agrees to a truce.  A bit later, Bill gives Jessica a tour of HQ.  He is really acting weird.  I can't tell whether this is a long con or whether he's really bought into this Lilith shit.  He's weirding Jess out too, handing her a vampire bible to read.

The sheriff arrives at Fangtasia, having been called by a panicky-sounding Tara.  She tells him that she's botched turning Ginger - "I don't know nothin' about birthin' no baby vampires!" - and when he goes to check on the human, Tara cuts his head off with a big old sword.  Pam comes storming in when Ginger (covered in gooey vampire guts) starts screaming.  Pam: You have GOT to be kidding me.  Tara: We're not running.  Nobody fucks with us in our house.  Pam: Hmmm.

When Steve returns to Authority HQ, he is annoyed to find that Emma has shifted back to human.  He doesn't want her human - he wants her as a puppy.  He scolds her and she runs off crying; two white mice creep out of Steve's dropped briefcase.  In the back room, Russell has HAD ENOUGH with the politics the Authority is into.  He wants to focus on daywalking - harnessing and studying fairy blood.  Salome is all, we are of the night and fairies are an abomination.  Russell, warming to the task: Their blood is like suckin' on Heaven!  When Salome gets in his face, he tosses her across the room.  His accent/voice changes: I am 3,000 years old!  I am stronger than all of you combined!  And he is not playing their reindeer games anymore.  I fucking love Russell.

Sookie and Jason take the scroll to the fairy nightclub and one of the fairies reads it.  It is a 1702 contract: promising the first female fairy in the Stackhouse family to that vampire Warlow.  Surprise surprise: it's Sookie.

Previously on True Blood / next time on True Blood

PS - One of the days I'll fix the links list over there on the right.  Today is not that day.

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