When Jason comes to, he's tied to a bed in one of the Hotshot shacks. Crystal and Felton, her "brother-husband," can't have kids (Felton is shooting blanks) so they've nominated Jason as the new baby daddy. But they want him to be a werepanther first too, to keep the strain pure, so they shift into their panther forms and start chewing on him.
Eric tells Sookie that she'll need protection if more vampires figure out how tasty her blood is. She thinks she can protect herself. Over at Bill's mansion, the new King is concerned about the new necromancer in town, but not so concerned that he can't bang (and bite) his little informant. Sookie shows up and tells Bill that she doesn't want to be Eric's human. He can't promise her anything but says he'll work on it, advising her to stay in another human's home where Eric can't come in. After she leaves, we get a flashback to 1982 when Bill met Nan Flanagan for the first time, as she recruited him to infiltrate the monarchies and sow dissent, trying to get vampires mainstreamed. [That seems like it might be a little bit of retconning right there.]
As Hoyt and Jessica leave Fangtasia, anti-vamp protesters hassle them. Hoyt gets beaten up but Jessica can't even come to his defense because Bill has forbidden vampires to hurt humans these days, trying to rehabilitate the vamp image. After the shape-shifter run, Sam has the hots for one of the women, "Luna" (who I think was on BSG before); she almost kisses him but runs off instead. Later, the next day, she stops by the bar and they make out a little. On the witch front, Lafayette expresses his doubts about joining Marnie's coven to Jesus.
When Sookie gets home, Tara is there waiting for her. They catch up over ice cream in the living room, where Sookie discovers the below-ground bunker Eric has installed for himself, the entrance tucked away in a big armoire. Sookie, outraged: "Motherfucker!" Hoyt is still banged up from the night before and he refuses to take any of Jessica's blood, so she says she'll go on an Advil run. She takes a detour to Fangtasia instead.
Bill summons Eric and tells him about the necromancer at Moongoddess Emporium, sending the sheriff there to deal with it personally. Eric says he'll go tonight because necromancers are Very Scary to the living dead. Then we get a flashback to the Bill vs. Queen Sophie-Ann fight. The Queen is stronger than Bill but he brought a squadron of human snipers, compliments of the American Vampire League: wooden bullets with a silver core. The snipers obliterate Sophie-Ann as she snarls, "You fucking traitor!" And Nan saunters in and crowns her boy King Bill of Louisiana in the name of the Vampire Authority.
Sookie also goes to Fangtasia to try to convince Pam to get Eric off her case. Pam won't hear of it: "With what you are, Faerie Princess, you need to be somebody's or you won't be, at all. Eric's handsome and rich and, in his own way, he really cares about you." When Jessica gets to the club, she immediately hooks up with that fangbanger from last episode.
Tara accompanies Lafayette and Jesus to the coven meeting. When Marnie announces that the next thing they're going to bring back is a person - raise a dead person - everyone freaks out. Tara, Lafayette and Jesus are all, no effing way, we're out of here. Lafayette asks, "Where the hell you gonna get a dead body?" and just like that, the shop doors blow open and Eric is standing there. Lafayette, remembering his time in Eric's dungeon, is all, sheeee-yit. Eric tells the witches that this is the last time their coven is allowed to meet. Marnie gets wishywashily in his face so Eric grabs her and starts snacking. The rest of the group joins hands and starts chanting. Eric throws Marnie aside and then the magic kicks in: the lights go out, Marnie chants in Latin and her eyes glow. Eric is transfixed and then, eyes wide, he runs away.
At Sam's "anger management" meeting, we learn that shifters can change into any other animal but can only change into other people when they've killed someone they love - this is called "skin-walking." It turns out that Luna's mother died giving birth to her and Luna once skin-walked into her mother. It was a horrible experience and she got extremely sick afterwards. They hear a rustling in the bushes and realize another shifter is spying on them. It's Tommy, of course. Sam chases him down and they shout at each other for a while until Tommy says he just wants them to be brothers. Sam's like, okay, but we're gonna have to learn how to trust each other.
As Sookie drives back to Bon Temps from Fangtasia, she is astonished to see Eric, shirtless and barefoot, walking on the side of the road. When she speaks to him, he doesn't recognize her (and his hair is also dorky: this is the beginning of Schmoopy, Lame Eric) and asks, "Why do you smell so good?"
Previously on True Blood / next time on True Blood
23 minutes ago