Sookie tries to get Eric to come back in the house since it'll be dawn soon, but he's drunk off the faerie blood and refuses, giggling "Try and catch me!" and running off. Bill tries to find his missing sheriff - Pam is no help - and then Nan pays him a visit, furious that he sent Eric after a bunch of Wiccans. Bill's all, necromancers are nothing to fool with; Nan's like, I do remember the Spanish Inquisition, you know. She tells him not to fuck this up: "How many retired kings do you know?" Speaking of the Wiccans and the Spanish Inquisition, Marnie has a dream about a witch being burned at the stake during the Inquisition. As she burns, the Spanish witch chants and, in her dream, Marnie memorizes the words.
Up at Hotshot, Jason has had all he can take of servicing the wimminfolk, when they send in a fourteen year old girl to breed with him. He tells the girl that her first time should be special, with a boy she really likes who brings her presents and candy. She seems marginally smarter than the rest of the Hotshot hillbillies and she cuts him free. It doesn't take long for Felton to learn of Jason's escape; he shifts into his panther and takes off after Stackhouse.
Alcide shows up to help Sookie track down the truant Eric, wondering how the vampire can be out and about in broad daylight. Sookie: It's a long story. He strips down - seriously, that man's body is unfriggingbelievable - shifts into his wolf and sets on Eric's trail. They find Eric swimming in a gator pond. The wolf and the vampire get all macho and snarly at each other and Sookie just rolls her eyes. Then the faerie blood starts wearing off: Eric turns sunburn-red and staggers out of the pond. Sookie covers him with a blanket and tells him to run for home. I had to pause the frame on naked Joe Manganiello for a while there.
Meanwhile, Tara, Jesus and Lafayette ask Marnie to come with them to reverse the spell on Eric. She says she can't - it was the witch-spirit's spell, not hers. She suggests that they look in her spell books. Also meanwhile, Tommy goes back to his white trash parents. Melinda says that she left Joe Lee for good but it's a lie: Joe Lee lunges out of the underbrush and raps a chain around Tommy's neck, saying that they need him for the dog fights as Melinda is too old. I don't understand why Tommy doesn't shift into a snake or a bee or something and get away. Finally, Tommy loses it, fighting back. He beats Joe Lee to death and when his mother tries to stop him, he accidentally kills her too. Also meanwhile, Sam stops by Luna's house and learns that she has a daughter. Fortunately, Sam really likes kids.
Sookie tucks Eric into his bunker. He is sad, missing the sunlight, and asks her to stay with him. Can't, she chirps, got human stuff to do! Outside, Alcide is all, Eric can't stay here with you - he's a killer. Sookie: Um, Debbie Pelt is an addict and an attempted murderer and she's staying at your house. They agree to disagree about each other's life choices and hug it out. When Alcide gets home, Debbie can tell that he shifted today and asks him about it. He tells her what happened and she gets a little jealous about Alcide's friendship with Sookie.
Jason runs through the woods, climbs a tree and sharpens a stick. Behind him, the Felton-panther snarls. When the panther finally catches up, Jason stabs it in the neck with his spear. The panther shifts back to Felton and dies. Crystal-panther runs up and shifts back to human. Jason's all, don't fuckin' touch me, you're the worst thing that's ever happened to me! He limps off, leaving crazy Crystal behind. I would be fine if that's the last we see of those Hotshot wackadoos. Later that night, Hoyt and Jessica find Jason passed out on the side of the road. Jessica bites her own wrist and feeds Jason her blood, healing him.
Sookie goes downstairs to check on Eric who is sad and mopey. He tries, "If you kiss me, I promise to be happy." They almost smooch but Eric senses someone upstairs. Sookie goes up to the door and it's Bill. He's looking for Eric but Sookie lies that he's gone and refuses to let Bill and his goon squad in the house. Over at Terry and Arlene's, everyone gets freaked out when mysterious writing appears on the wall: BABY NOT YOURS.
At the Moongoddess Emporium, one of Marnie's spirits points out the book they need. They go out to the woods to do the spell. Pam is there, looking particularly cleavage-y and fierce. Marnie starts the spell ... but the witch spirit takes over and casts a different curse, on Pam this time, causing her flesh to rot off her face. Poor Pam shrieks and runs for home.
Previously on True Blood / next time on True Blood
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