Russell and his henchmen drag Sookie and Bill back to the mansion while Talbot, Lorena and Eric look on interestedly. Suddenly, Bill stakes a henchvamp with a baluster and then tries to stake Russell too, but the King just tosses him into the ceiling - to Talbot's horror and dismay - and laughs that he's almost 3,000 years old and it'll take more than that to kill him. As the henchvamps subdue Bill again, he shouts at Eric to take Sookie out of here. Eric advances on Sookie but he's not done infiltrating Russell's inner circle, so he just grins and tells the King, "I don't know exactly what you've got here, but I'd hold onto it." Sookie's all, Eric, WTF? Russell orders the henchvamps to take Bill to the slave quarters where Lorena is to kill him. Sookie shrieks and promises Lorena that she will kill her herself if Lorena kills Bill. Lorena sneers that she would like to see Sookie try and threatens to rip her open and "wear [her] ribcage as a hat," which, if I'm not mistaken, is a totally stolen line from BtVS.
Back in Bon Temps, it's a slow night at Merlott'es and Arlene, having been stiffed by all her customers, is down to one last diner, a horrible woman. Jessica is hungry and decides to try Pam's advice. She hypnotizes the woman into leaving all her money for Arlene, and then follows her into the bathroom where she drinks her fill but doesn't kill the victim - that way everyone's happy.
Down by the swamp, Jason and Crystal are still making out, hot and heavy, and then she freaks out, sniffs the wind and runs away, saying they can't be together. Whatever. More interestingly, Lafayette and Jesus are making some progress: playing billiards, talking about their childhoods and smooching. When they go to Lafayette's house, Jesus is drawn to the little altar of saints and voodoo gods Lafayette has set up, saying they are very powerful. They mack some more but are interrupted when the meth dealers show up and trash Lafayette's fancy new car. He goes after them with a baseball bat and beats the crap out of one of them, yelling that they better sell that V he dropped off with them. Jesus helps him chase them away but he's quite upset to learn that Lafayette is a drug dealer.
Sookie pleads with Eric to help her but he snaps that he's about to get something he's wanted since he was human so she better keep out of his way. Russell comes in and sends Eric away, wanting to talk to Sookie. He demands to know what she is exactly. "A waitress." Russell is all, look, honey, I may be immortal but my patience is not infinite. He is amused when she says she'll answer his questions if he answers hers. She tells him that her grandfather was like her, a mind-reader, and that she can hear humans' thoughts, and shifters' and werewolves' but not vampires. The King commiserates with her about how dreadful that must be: "I mean, who cares what anyone else is thinkin'?" She begs him to spare Bill's life. Why, he wonders, when Bill has been keeping a secret file on her and her family, and shows her the file Franklin found in Bill's house. Russell wants to know if she has any other powers aside from the mind-reading and that light from her hands, but she can't come up with anything else pertinent.
Meanwhile, out in the slave quarters, Lorena has chained Bill to the floor with silver chains. There's an impressive array of sharp instruments on a nearby table. She babbles on and on about how much she loves him and how she's suffered for him, and then she starts cutting on him. Bill begs her to "do it quickly" but she can't/won't, crying over him and dabbling her fingers in the cuts she's slicing into him. It sounds awful but really it's just boring.
Upstairs in the mansion, Franklin has tied Tara to the bed again. He comes him, preening in his satin pajamas and excited about their upcoming wedding night. She convinces him to untie her, and then tells him that she wants to drink his blood tonight so that she can be high while they have sex - the best sex is whilst hopped up on V. Bite me, he tells her, and holy shit she goes right to town on his neck, tearing it wide open with her teeth and guzzling up her blood. She is so desperate.
Russell asks Eric to accompany him on an errand. They toss Sookie in a spare bedroom and she weeps ... until she hears Tara thinking at her: "Hang in there until sunrise, Sookie, I'm going to get us out of here." Poor Tara is lying in bed with Franklin, post-coitally, as he whispers crazy things in her ear. She's covered in blood.
As the limo drives through the night, Eric inquires how Russell can stand being around werewolves when most vampires are disgusted by them. Russell rolls his eyes, agreeing that the weres are more dog than man, stupider than dogs, really, so he uses them, gets them to do his bidding in exchange for his blood, has been doing it for centuries. Why? Because his dream is to have the vamps and the weres conquer the world and enslave all the humans. And where are they going this evening? To Queen Sophie Ann's palace. They find her in her solarium, hilariously rubbing scratch tickets. Russell hands her a rose and asks her to marry him. Apparently he's asked before because she's like, why would I say yes now? Russell: "Because in addition to never touching you, I will settle all your debts." She is still resistant until Eric grabs her by the neck, throws her to the floor and threatens to rip her head off. Russell smirks, "So, yes or no?" "Goddamnit," Sophie Ann mutters and Russell is well pleased.
Back at the slave quarters, it's nearly morning and both Bill and Lorena are a mess, him because she's nearly flayed him alive and her because she's covered in blood as well, both his and from her own tears. Bill drones on and on, how he wishes he'd known her before she was turned, and then finally says that he welcomes death because then he will finally be free of this disease (or possibly the disease that is her - doesn't matter). Then they are interrupted by Cooter and Debbie in all their white trash glory, hoping to score a little vamp blood if Bill can spare any. Lorena tells them to go ahead, suck out whatever's left. She watches as they pounce on him.
At Sam's trailer over coffee, Sam asks his brother again WTF is up with him and Joe Lee. Tommy just says that he hates his dead, who's always drunk and who loses every bit of money they ever have. There's a knock at the door and it's Lindy, having brought a batch of her special corn fritters. She wants a word with Tommy. Sam heads to the bar and the other two start fighting. Tommy wants her to leave Joe Lee; she throws a guilt trip on him, saying it's up to him to make money for the family now since she's hurt her back too badly to "go back into the ring." She tells him that Sam might be blood but he ain't family and all Tommy has are his parents - they have to stick together.
Back in Mississippi, when the sun is fully up Tara climbs carefully out of bed. There's a bunch of medieval weapons conveniently hanging on the wall and she picks out a mace and crushes Franklin's skull with it. GROSS: blood and brains fly everywhere. But I think she should have grabbed an ax or sword and cut his head off instead - he didn't collapse into stringy mush so I don't think she killed him. She thinks she has, however, and grabs some clean clothes and runs out of the room. After she's cleaned the brains out of her hair, she sashays up to the werewolf guarding Sookie's room and tells him that Talbot is serving Sookie's blood tomorrow night, and until then she's supposed to be eating all these almonds. Tara is way wired on Franklin's blood and sells it, convincing the wolf to let her in. Sookie jumps out and between the two of them, they manage to knock the were out and make a run for it. Tara wants to just get the fuck out of there but Sookie insists on finding Bill first. Tara is not inclined to help him, seeing how he ignored her when she asked for his help, but Sookie is adamant. Tara calls her a fuckin' idiot.
OMFG Jason has shown up at Crystal's/the meth dealer's hovel with a bouquet of flowers. Crystal pretends not to know him and tells her meth dealin' fiance to run him off. Jason is confused but leaves without pressing the issue.
Arlene corners Sam at work and complains about him letting his kinfolk have that scary-lookin' pitbull in the rental when she's not allowed to get her kids a hamster. Worried, Sam finds Andy Bellefleur and asks if there's any dog-fighting in the area. Andy says not in his town, but he's heard of some in the neighboring parish. Sam thanks him and takes off.
Tara is racing around the plantation, looking for a getaway car, when she comes face to face with a huge white wolf. She turns and runs, and the wolf runs after her, shifting into NAKED ALCIDE (butt shot!) who promises her he's one of the good guys. "You got a car?" she demands. Meanwhile, Sookie hides as the V-drunk Cooter and Debbie stumble out of the slave quarters, then goes inside. Poor Bill is looking drained and lifeless on the floor. He's not quite dead yet, though, and she fumbles with his chains, not hearing Lorena approach behind her. Lorena picks her up and slams her against the wall, snarling, "This is all your fault!" before sinking her fangs into Sookie's neck. As one does when a vamp is gnawing on your neck, Sookie screams and screams.
Previously on True Blood / next time on True Blood
13 hours ago